That Guy/GM

>That guy who is constantly on his laptop
>makes a warlock with 18 strength
>always does some randumb wacky thing whenever it's his turn
>character interaction usually revolves him making some Whedon-esque metagame quip or "accidentally" attacking an NPC
>drains all our resources by running into traps because he gets bored when we proceed with caution
>my only satisfaction is when he gets fucking destroyed in combat because he just runs up to enemies and tries to T-bag them or other goofs

>"Everyone starts the game with a minor magic item that has some personal connection to them."

Get hyped, roll a dwarven warlock (3.5) who acts as a diviner of sorts. Start with crystal ball. Totally not optimizing, just making a chill dude.

Rest of the team...

Fighter with magic shield
Bard with magic whip
Cleric with prayer beads

>"All the items have a bonus effect, but you'll have to discover them as you play."

Sounds good, getting excited. Party arrives to town in a caravan after hearing about a band of thieves that took over local keep.

>No villager speaks Common.
>Middle of the desert.

Good setting so far, actually? A little tough to make headway with the language barrier, but we manage. The bard and fighter go off to hit the streets while the cleric visits the local church. I watch over all of them with my crystal ball from a rented apartment.

>"Fighter, bard, you are attacked by thieves."
>"Bard, your whip turns into spiders that bite you and poison you."
>"Fighter, your shield bends in half and bites your arm off."

Fighter and bard are captured and I realize that our items are more than likely cursed. Meanwhile...

>"Cleric, your prayer beads tighten around your neck and you suffocate. Your body is desecrated for worshiping a 'false god.'"

No time to warn anyone, I fail a Will save as the crystal ball controls me to strip off my clothes and walk naked into the desert where I die.

>"Man, you guys suck at D&D."

This is fairly easy to fix.

Take the party to a new town and make sure that other NPCs make a big deal about how ruthlessly competent the militia is. Some people complain about Big Brother, others feel safe in the security that the militia provides.

Turns out the captain of the militia is like a level 15 cleric or paladin with powers to divine when and where crimes are taking place and has assembled a squad of thought police.

>"Everyone starts the game with a minor magic item that has some personal connection to them."
How the fuck could you have a personal connection to those items if they fucking murder anything which touches them?

It wasn't. I lied to the players.

This is why you never trust the GM. He's always out to kill you.

Scrubs.

The number one complaint of the night: "But we've had these for years, right?" "Yeah, but the curses activated now."

Sounds like the pinnacle of fucked up gm.

That's some meta-level bullshit right there, because he's pretty much betraying the players' trust in him just to prove how 'bad' they are.

How the fuck do people like this get anywhere in life, let alone become a DM?

That's when you change everyone's alignment to CE and send a party of high level adventurers to murder them.

>let alone become a DM?
GMing requires confidence, and in TTRPG circles, you have two main camps when it comes to confidence/self-esteem: "I won't try because I'd just mess up worse than anyone else" and "I CAN LITERALLY DO NO WRONG, ANYONE THAT DISAGREES CAN FUCK OFF." Occasionally you see people with healthy levels of confidence or someone from camp #1 that stepped up to the plate and learned that GMing isn't impossible, but by and large you've got a playerbase that's terrified of GMing and ego-bloated autists being the only people willing to GM.

I wouldn't say this is its completely accurate that this is the standard but it sure does happen way too often.

Seriously though guys it's not impossible, I was 100% 1st camp. I'm still bad at it and generally run boring campaigns or modules, but nobody comes away from my table posting in 'that DM' threads. And they keep showing up so that's a good sign. If my NEET tier autismo self can do it, you 100% can.

Holy fuck this thread full of limp-wristed faggots an "muh agency!" retards.

Look, we know players are shit human beings who ruin everything. That doesn't mean that they're supposed to go OUT OF THEIR WAY to ruin everything. If they do, DROP THEM AND FIND NEW PLAYERS. There's always, always more players.

And the second they start going murderhobo, the second they kill a shopkeeper for calling them faggots, the second they say "lol fuck this shit were pirates now!", you walk away. You don't owe them shit.

What if the players discuss with the GM before the campaign is planned and state that they want to play in a pirating campaign of some sort, and if the GM says yes, they make reasonable characters who belong in a pirating crew? Is that an okay way to get a swashbuckling adventure going instead of spur of the moment bullshit?

Never Happened: The Postening

I hate that shit. I honestly don't understand what the point is in turning every game into a stupid Monty Python/Avengers/Wil Wheaton mixtape full of "random" and "quirky" quips, desperate attempts at getting others to laugh with you and price to yourself how social you are.

It's not that I don't have a sense of humor, but if you're not here to explore a freer world or make a story together, why are you here? If you just want to make shitty "jokes" just hang out or go bowling or whatever. If you just want to roll dice (the only thing that momentarily stopped the quips in my 3.PF games), go play a fucking video game where you can shit all over enemies without slowing down everything else.

Slowing the game down so much is probably the worst sin of it, too, because even if the other players are insipid enough to enjoy your "humor" it's still taking three hours to get through one combat because you just have to rattle of your stupid shitty quips.

>Forgotten Realms
>everyone is super invested, we come up with some sweet character arcs and personal quests, everything comes together beautifully
>our party consists of a dreadmaster, assassin, berserker twins, and a necromancer; neutral and evil alignments only
>DM hates the idea, saying he doesn't want to deal with a bunch of edgelords, refuses to start the session for about an hour
>he eventually agrees, though we can tell he's still super pissed
>we begin in a tavern, minding our business, no one acts like an autist
>suddenly everyone in the tavern (including illiterate peasants) starts harassing our party, spitting at us, and forcing us into an actual fight; it's 5vs20 people + the tavern owner is an overleveled, retired paladin
>somehow we manage to run out of the building only to meet the city guard outside - a patrol of high level warriors and 2 clerics, they attack us immediately because we're “evil”
>the people from the tavern rejoin the fight, we die almost immediately
>DM smiles smugly, tells us that this city is under the protection of good deities and no evil is allowed to exist within
>we're angry, but some people came a long way to be there and really wanted to play, so we change our characters to good-aligned Mary Sues
>”see, it wasn't that hard, was it?”
>we play the most generic campaign this world has ever seen, no one is having fun except the gloating DM
>one guy gets into an argument with the DM, the game is basically over
>we leave 2h earlier that normal, the group falls apart and we never play in the same group again

fuck you Nathan, that was my best group

Course it is, that's the way it should be done. The GM and players should always talk about expectations from the game before the fucking game.

...if that's the point of the campaign and what the players and the DM decided on beforehand, then obviously them going and doing it isn't breaking anything or being intentionally disruptive or dickish.

You know what IS being a fucking dick? When you decide with your players that the campaign is going to be able them being pirates and shit, and before the story even gets around to the part where they get to do that, they decide to do it on their own, not for a narrative reason or because they have a goal or impetus, but because "lol we got bored of waiting so we just did it".

Here's the thing: Everyone always talks about "Oh a DM is so shitty if he has a planned plot, he should just react to what we do! Improv is always the best!", but that's literally never true.

If you don't trust the DM to deliver you a fucking campaign, and all you want is a sandbox to run around and throw your shit in, don't fucking play. If you can't be bothered to put any sort of trust in the DM to deliver an experience, you don't deserve a DM.

I used to be this guy unfortunately.
I used to put together big stories that I had plans for and the players end up just working them over in a way I couldn't predict.
Most of the time this involves them killing someone I didn't think they would or would be able to kill, and even at this stage I wasn't going to pull some bullshit deus ex machina crap.
This didn't work out well to say the least, sometimes entire plots would just fall completely apart because the players killed the wrong person or they killed the RIGHT person but way too early.
I'm not sure if the point that broke this for me was the tine my players dropped an entire cave complex on the BBEG's god boss (not the BBEG, the guy the BBEG was getting his powers from) or if it was the time my players showed up to a super hero game playing nothing but Adult Swim characters (specifically Awesome X, Early Cuyler, Pee Wee Herman, Captain Hazel Murphy, and the Warden) that I realized I should probably not take this hobby TOO seriously

So now I just kind of roll the best I can. I make stories and I plan for them to get fucked up. I make things I don't think the party can overcome then consider what the fuck I'll do when the party overcomes it. I have "mobile" encounters which can be encountered in multiple different places, either logically (someone's chasing the party) or behind the scenes (well you guys didn't go into or even discover the crypt like I thought you would so I guess this cave system has an undead problem)

I ask again what the deal is with everyone thinking the sandbox/plot thing is a mutually exclusive dichotomy? Without a plot the sandbox won't exist. Placenames, geography, local personalities, all need to be present to be #rekt. Conversely, without enough degrees of freedom, there's no point in running players through if the start, end, and waypoints are all predetermined.

It's like everyone chose to wake up one morning and take the factionalist memeing here and elsewhere to heart, and decided that having a plot means no player agency, and having a sandbox means no plot. It's fuckin' doofy and I cannot comprehend how so many GMs get by these days with that sort of weird quasi-religious dualism going on.

Question: if a major part of the campaign setting involves the PCs dying, exploring the spirit world and coming back to life, is it a dick move to kill them via impossible situations? Say they find themselves against an army, or lost in the wilderness. How soon is too soon? Should I warn them when the campaign starts that death is not the end here?

>I ask again what the deal is with everyone thinking the sandbox/plot thing is a mutually exclusive dichotomy?

They are. Saying "Da big bad lich gonna take over the world when ur level 20. Tell me how you save it" and then having the players fumble their way through a dungeon-of-the-week until they're high enough level to fight the BBEG isn't a story.

And don't give me that "The DM creates a map and the players go places and story happens to them" schtick, because the result will ALWAYS be a jumbled mess of nonsensical movements that half-assedly come together to explain how the players get to the BBEG at the end.

>Conversely, without enough degrees of freedom, there's no point in running players through if the start, end, and waypoints are all predetermined.
How exactly in your mind does this make sense? Please, explain.

Because last I checked, the PLAYERS DON'T KNOW THE STORY, THEREFORE THE REASON TO RUN THROUGH IT IS SO THEY CAN FUCKING EXPERIENCE IT.

There is a reason published adventures exist, you know? And why Kingmaker is the shittiest of them all.

Let me start by saying that it's not creative, it's not interesting, and it's a shit plot.

That said, you still likely think it's the most creative and unique story ever told, so I have to inform you that yes, if you don't explicitly inform players that there is a scene where they are supposed to die to further the story, they're going to do everything in their power to not fucking die. There is a reason everyone and their mother hates fights you're meant to lose in video games. It's a shit narrative mechanic.

Perhaps start the game with the PCs already dead, unless that messes with what you're planning (like the players meeting someone important before they die)

It's very hard to PLAN on players losing something without things getting illogical. I've seen players defeat "impossible" encounters or at the very least run away very effectively. And if something flubs up and 3 members of the party die but 2 escape then what is going to happen? Will the other 2 have to make afterlife characters or will they die choking on their "mourning the loss of their friends" beer?

>Let me start by saying that it's not creative, it's not interesting, and it's a shit plot.
Everything is a watered down adaptation of 7 original stories. Go fuck yourself.

>GM sees party is making neutral/evil characters
>GM sees the party REALLY wants to play them
>GM sees they don't act like complete edgelords
>puts them in a "Good city" and an impossible situation instead of putting them in a situation where they can explore their character arcs
>proceeds to aggravate the characters specifically to prove they are evil in said "Good city"
>when characters die is smug about it

This is a living nightmare.

>Let me start by saying that it's not creative, it's not interesting, and it's a shit plot. That said, you still likely think it's the most creative and unique story ever told
Why so hostile? Did you have a bad experience in the past? You can share it with us here if that would help you feel better.

I don't really care if it's the most original thing as long as I can make it fun or interesting for the players. They seem to like the setting so far, and I thought they might want to explore its mythic side and move into more of a demigod power level like a classic Greek hero.

Alright, so you're the crying, defensive type. I get it.

>as long as I can make it fun or interesting for the players.
You can't. It's going to fail miserably.

Now you're gonna get all angry and try it just to spite me, aren't you? Come tell me how that works out for you, faggot.

>And don't give me that "The DM creates a map and the players go places and story happens to them" schtick, because the result will ALWAYS be a jumbled mess of nonsensical movements that half-assedly come together to explain how the players get to the BBEG at the end.
Or it's a game about a group of people exploring said sandbox, or are marooned, or are forging their own kingdom. You don't always have to go on a direct path to a BBEG, you sound like a one trick pony kind of guy.

>There is a reason published adventures exist, you know?
Because people are busy and it's easy?

Or how about you run a fucking game user? Less cry like a cunt and more do it your fucking self would go a long way.

>They are. Saying "Da big bad lich gonna take over the world when ur level 20. Tell me how you save it" and then having the players fumble their way through a dungeon-of-the-week until they're high enough level to fight the BBEG isn't a story.
>And don't give me that "The DM creates a map and the players go places and story happens to them" schtick, because the result will ALWAYS be a jumbled mess of nonsensical movements that half-assedly come together to explain how the players get to the BBEG at the end.
There are, actually, more than two styles of RPG play that exist.

>Because last I checked, the PLAYERS DON'T KNOW THE STORY, THEREFORE THE REASON TO RUN THROUGH IT IS SO THEY CAN FUCKING EXPERIENCE IT.
But some players don't wanna experience YOUR story, they wanna experience THEIRS. All I'm getting at is that writing up a couple paragraphs, max, of unifying plot between places and events is not, inherently, going to lead to a clusterfuck anymore than saying "open map, do whatever, man", and that people have been playing shades between the extremes for as long as the hobby's been a thing. Hell, I wasn't even aware this was a thing people got conceptually frustrated about until a couple years back, it seems like a newer development to me.
I dunno, maybe my experiences have been different from others, I got no horse in this race.

>Or it's a game about a group of people exploring said sandbox, or are marooned, or are forging their own kingdom.
Yeah, and these are objectively always shit. I know, I know, you have anecdotal evidence about how you did it and your group totally loved it, and I'm sure you're not exaggerating any details at all.

>Because people are busy and it's easy?
You really think running an AP is easier than just improving a different dungeon each week? Are you seriously the kind of person who cracks open a module and tries to run it as you read it page by page, and then when you mess up something or don't understand what's going on because you didn't read the book first, you say "This is so shit I don't know why anyone does this"?

The GM, as the GM should never, ever lie to the players.

Unreliable NPCs? Fair game.
Telling the player that his character thinks something is a certain way when it isn't? Fair game.
Telling the party about rumors in the lands? Fair game.
Passing fiction to the party and outright telling them that the fiction is facts? Unfair.

You cannot lie to the party about how long their character has had an item. You can't put the party in a deathtrap with no way out and expect them to get out. It's not fair and it's not fun to play.

While I agree the GM was an asshat the way he handled it, you guys are not entitled for him to run a game for you if it doesn't sound like fun for him, just as you aren't entitled to play in a game that isn't fun for you.

>But some players don't wanna experience YOUR story, they wanna experience THEIRS.

Remember what we said about fucking having a little faith in the DM? THIS is why most players are shit. Because apparently, in your fucked-up little brain, if the story is not created SPECIFICALLY for you and your special-snowflake characters, and you're not CERTAIN that your shitty backstory is the central thesis of the world and plot (wait, I mean lack of plot), it's somehow "the DM's story, not mine". How do you even think of this shit?

Holy shit dude. Why are you so defeatist?

...I don't think you know what that means.

I'm telling you your idea is bad and it's not going to work the way you want it to work.

Do it better.

Or, you know, get defensive and spiteful and do it the shit way just to try and prove me wrong, I guess?

Jesus Christ you are projecting a lot aren't you?

What this guy is trying to do? I'm a bit retarded and can't navigate on my shitty phone.

>it's not going to work the way you want it to work.
not that guy but it could, simply because some players like shitty clichéd stories

I don't disagree with that, but we lived in a really small town, and tabletop players were scarce. It was basically this or nothing at all. We did what the DM wanted 90% of the time, but always playing the good guys got boring, so we wanted to try something else. Sadly, every "something else" finished the same way as the FR campaign

He wants his dumb-ass players to go into the spirit world and do some stupid shit, so he wants to have them die in battle or some retarded way they can't prevent.

>if the story is not created SPECIFICALLY for you and your special-snowflake characters
Wait, what? I ask, collaborate, and have a few lines of fluff as a guidepost for what the party wants to do. In what realm is this fucked up thinking, thinking a couple personality traits makes NPCs snowflakes, or that guide is treated as the central thesis of of the world?

Am I taking bait here or something?

>First time playing D&D 3.5
>Party is trying to escape this dungeon/arena combo
>I'm the only one who didn't pick a glass cannon class(I'm a fighter)
>As such I've taken a lot of hits, most monsters are CR 5 or higher and we're an unbalanced group of level 3s
>Dropped into another arena, with a giant mutant tentacle monster in it
>We can't fight it, it's got ridiculous AC and HP
>No way out of the arena
>"Oh no, yes there is" says the GM
>The monster grabs my character with a tentacle grab attack
>Fucking throws me into a nearby wall, smashing me clean through it
>10d6 bludgeoning damage
>I was already low, now I'm at -13
>Party escapes through the wall
>"Are you coming, user?"
>No, I'm fucking dead
>Dead in the first dungeon of the campaign
>mfw the only way to leave the dungeon was to kill the tank

That's not all, stay tuned for part two!

I have a that GM.

Pic related

Spirit world isn't so bad, but off screen killing people is lowest form of shit and railroading. Seriously, I played only a few sessions in my entire live and sit on Veeky Forums to read about stories and read other cool shit as this is one of best boards.

And even I know it is bad as fuck.

>Objectively
You don't know what the word means.

>You really think running an AP is easier than just improving a different dungeon each week?
No, I think that running a pre-made adventure is easier than either making multiple points on a map filled with ideas so that when players go there the have something to do/see. I'm saying that running and a pre-made adventure is also easier than making your own narrative, which I never said was bad, I was saying both styles of games are valid.

>But reading adventures is HARD so you must just be reading it on the spot
Reading is not hard. In fact, reading is fun. Maybe you should try more than just stumbling through pre-made adventures and work on just reading comprehension? Then maybe you would understand more Veeky Forums posts.

...

> I was saying both styles of games are valid.
I like you.

Protip - Someone else can GM. If he becomes a shit broody player because you're playing a different style of game tell him to chill out an hope he acts like an adult.

that's why it tends to work best if they start already dead.

Oh, we tried that and it was real hell. The DM got really crazy, almost violent, when we told him that perhaps someone else should give it a try. We dropped the subject, afraid of what he might have done otherwise.

We could have just played without him, but outside of the game he was a really cool guy to hang out with so we just decided to keep rolling with it until that fateful day

Kill them. If they're going to act like bandits then the local guards should treat them appropriately.

>Roll up a new character
>We still need a tank, so I make another fighter
>The party meets me outside the dungeon after they escape
>We're gonna beautiful grassy hill, and we make our introductions
>We are interrupted by rustling in the grass
>A large, 4-legged bug with big hairy feelers emerges
>Again, first time playing D&D, so I charge it not knowing what it is
>Fucking Rust Monster destroys my armor, sword, axe, AND shield before we manage to kill it
>I'm now a tank with normal clothes and a wooden club
>There are no places to get new gear, other party members don't want donate any of theirs
>Spend the next five sessions with 11 AC and a wooden club as a weapon

Long story short, I was completely fucked over by the GM on multiple occasions without any way to come back from it. This continued into encounters with vampire monks who would specifically target me, or Constitution-draining bugs that would target the character with the highest HP, aka me.

>The DM got really crazy, almost violent, when we told him that perhaps someone else should give it a try
>but outside of the game he was a really cool guy to hang out with
This sound like conflicting statements, but I guess I don't know everyone. Did you ever ask why he got to upset at the idea?

So did you just let them "kill" them or actually roll for it? Because i imagine the shop keep would stop insulting people the second the weapons come out.

You could lead them up to a gate to the spirit world, a place where they can enter willfully rather than being forced into the spirit world the way everyone else is.

They can make their preparations and set off as living beings rather than spirits, giving them assurance that they'll be able to exit the spirit realm should they find another exit or return to the one they entered via.

I've got that stowed away as my own idea right now, though since they're living creatures I'd give them some qualifiers, like having to wear painted wooden masks to disguise themselves as spirits (because the living can attract some bad juju in the spirit realm) and possibly having to pay a ferryman a coin each for passage.

I would like that if he would do some interesting change for ghost world mechanics. Strength would be useless.

Rust monster and con-draining (if you mean con damage) are pretty standard old-school style DnD, rest of that sounds like DM treating you like his bitch. When did you stop playing?

>Oh, we tried that and it was real hell. The DM got really crazy, almost violent, when we told him that perhaps someone else should give it a try. We dropped the subject, afraid of what he might have done otherwise.

Yeah, this never happened.

That, or you're the most spineless faggots in the universe and everyone should be laughing at you.

That seems neat but also a bit much, kind of just chopping the balls off of any martial type character (which if this is 3.pf is a little overkill)

Maybe while their ghosts or whatever vessel they inhabit no longer has muscles, the imprint of "physical strength" still lingers on in their spirit, so they have a spirit that can wrestle other spirits even though neither side has muscles. A particularly old, savvy, or experienced spirit could probably manipulate this willingly, being exactly as strong as they want to be, but the player characters being fresh to this dead or death like world can't quite muster it yet.

I do agree that some rule changes could help to be fun, I just think ones that invalidate significant portions of a players character are a bit far.

He really enjoyed being the DM and he always played that role. I guess he wasn't comfortable as a player instead, plus he was anti-change of any kind and always had to be in charge. All in all, he wasn't a bad guy, just a control freak

This is b8.

I actually like idea of using player strength as power, I don't know, during possessing objects, if his ghost world would be placed on ours, just Astral one.

I had a GM who did something very similar. We all started out with magic item, but they came with serious consequences. For example, I got to start with a +2 double bladed sword, but it was immediately taken from me and I was kicked out of the city for possessing it.

If you knew him personally, your opinion would be different. We were in his house, completely alone, and we were in shock. He had never acted like this before. He had his quirks, yes, but they were just that - harmless quirks. The threat was so out of character for him that we just weren't sure how to react and none of us wanted a fight

This is either b8 or some absurdly bitter neckbeard spraying his monitor with spittle in a frothing rage as he complains about people playing games in ways he doesn't like.

Dude stop. We know it's a fake story.

I don't care if "hurrrr hes mai frend outside of game so we cant kick him!"

Either you can function like a normal human being and gather your friends together to play a fucking game without that one autistic kid ruining or for you, OR you can keep complaining about how he's That Guy and ruins things with his tempertantrums and you can't get rid of him because apparently outside of those spastic fits of retardation, he's somehow a great person that is fun to be around.

The only real retard is you.

The second time I died. The party left me for dead as bait for a sand elemental and were fighting over my belongings as it was ripping me apart.
I left after that session, and I heard through the grapevine that the party survived one more session without me before destroying the world with a series of horrible choices in under an hour.

If you'd like to talk, user, I'm here. Just let it all out.

>they destroy the world in under an hour.
Adventures wuz here. Jpg

That GM has:

> fudged his dice rolls
His tell for fudging dice rolls was a long pause before announcing the result. Even when we implemented an 'open roll' for everyone, he would roll and immediately snatch the dice up and announce the result

> Change modifiers and AC in the middle of a fight
With the open roll policy and the fact that we (except That DM) had basic math literacy we would figure out what the AC was on the enemies. But Suddenly! Our 15+ weren't hitting anymore, we needed 18+.

> Dictate what our characters said
So if we rolled poorly on a skill check That DM would 'force' our characters to do something stupid. "Alright user, you failed your persuasion check because you can't keep your eyes off her breasts. She notices and slaps you in the face"

> Guards are immune to social checks
An alarming amount of guards are immune to intimidation, bribery, and persuasion.

> Merchants haggled over everything
Every merchant haggled over everything, even mundane shit. We ended up going broke doing bulk buying and loading up wagons and bags of holding just so we wouldn't have to buy anything for weeks.

> Doesn't know the system
More like he refuses to learn the system so he can claim ignorance. After questioning him one time we found out the DC for his warlock spellcaster was higher than what it was and his excuse was that he thought the DC settings were the same as 3.5

> four-people group and two newcomers, D&D 5e
> our usual DM says he wants to play this time, one of the new ones asks if it's okay if she takes over since she had some experience as a DM
> we say it's fine
> everyone creates their characters, nothing jarring
> we're almost done with the introductions, only the new guy remaining
> he says he changed his mind and wants to make a different character
> we're slightly annoyed since we were ready to play but whatever, let him redo it
> we have to wait for 45 mins for him
> he comes up with an herma lesbian tiefling from a demon/dragonborn union and 19 charisma
> one guy laughs, thinking it's a joke
> it wasn't
> the new DM got offended, asks him if he has a problem with the LGBT community and begins spouting some bullshit no one cares about, another 30 mins pass
> she calms down and begin, it's a regular town with some kind of important festival going on
> she says the streets and houses are decorated with pink ribbons and other frilly shit
> apparently the only temple around is dedicated to a goddess of love and all of her faithful are basically gay since they're the chosen ones
> the table goes full WTF
> she explains that homo love is better and stronger than hetero since they have to face the hardships of close-minded fools
> our tiefling is over the moon with joy and takes the lead
> it goes to the temple and offers our services to the goddess, mentioning that the rest of the party is not as enthusiastic as they should be
> damn fuckin right we aren't
> we get summoned to the temple, decide to go there so as not to anger any locals since they seemed to be pretty invested in that religion
> the head priestess threatenes us, says we have to convert or else we'll be tortured
> that's not very love-like

cont.

I've run a sandbox style game for my group and we all agreed it was some of the best times we've had gaming. You know shit

> we refuse and suddenly the entire town shows up in the temple with weapons at the ready
> we're forced to convert and the ritual is basically ERP with another party member or NPC of the same gender as yourself
> at this point our former DM asked for a break, we all agreed not to play this shit
> come back and tell her how it is
> she spergs out, talking about discrimination, feminism and what fuckin backwater shitheads we are
> says people like us are the reason our society is shit, flips her chair and runs out crying
> her friend follows her
> we never invite them again

I don't know where these people come from

>So if we rolled poorly on a skill check That DM would 'force' our characters to do something stupid. "Alright user, you failed your persuasion check because you can't keep your eyes off her breasts. She notices and slaps you in the face"

That's...completely normal though? I mean, if you roll shitty on a persuasion check, you don't get to deliver your cool, suave speech and have it turn out well you fucking idiot. If he's saying "Yeah, you fucked up, this is why", THAT'S THE DM'S JOB.

>An alarming amount of guards are immune to intimidation, bribery, and persuasion.
That's their fucking job.

>Every merchant haggled over everything
That's their fucking job.

Thank you for that anecdotal evidence about how you did it and your group totally loved it, and I'm sure you're not exaggerating any details at all.

How are you any better? You didn't post anything but anecdotal evidence in the first place.

Hard to exaggerate details when there aren't any. You still know shit. If you can't run a good amount of a game off improv then you just need to get better.

Party wanted to play a game, was still working on the world and lore but said fuck it, I'll run it anyway. A lot of the story were more personal character arcs and I didn't run any super bbeg shit because if they didn't wanna follow that direction then they didn't fucking wanna follow that direction. It's not hard to adapt and play with what you're players wanna do.

...Please tell me this is made up.

>Want to play a Neutral Evil halfling who, realizing most people just ignore halflings, just takes whatever he wants from anyone, but is willing to stay in line due to friendship with party Paladin.
>DM throws a shitfit because "all halflings have to be lawful good"
>Okay, fine, I'll be a human
>NO EVIL CHARACTERS ALLOWED
>He then proceeds to make a DMPC drow ranger girl that everyone loves unconditionally

>I don't know where these people come from

tumblr

I hate how much of a bad rap these people give to the rest of us.

>When I GM, I fully expect the PCs to ruin everything I thought I had planned because that's part of the fun. I want the players to turn the mentioned-in-passing set piece into a major thing, mess with important NPCs in creatively fucked up ways, and make an incredible mess of events. Otherwise I'm just rolling to randomly generate a book with my friends providing color commentary.
Fucking this.
If my players one shotted my BBEG, I'd giggle like a windowlicker spotting the ice cream truck.
Because "Oh shit! That was so cool! I wonder what's going to happen next!" moments are so rare for a GM.

>there is such a thing as a happy medium between too much plot and "Diablo TTRPG".
This is true, too.
But sometimes the PCs avoid or navigate around huge chunks of the plot by doing something you didn't expect.
The plot (the conflict, the characters and factions, the overarching theme) is still there, but all your plans just got crushed.
Like because the PCs permanently banished Tom RIddle's diary instead of destroying it, thus they unknowingly ensured Voldemort can never be killed and undid the entire horcrux hunt you had planned.

mfw "winsowlicker passed the Veeky Forums spell checker.

>I'm paranoid about ruining the GM's setting, so I usually end up doing the safest thing I can think of or doing nothing. How would you handle someone like me?
Not that user, but I have an answer.
Kobayashi Maru, a version anyway.
I put you in a situation where there is literally no safe option and doing nothing is the worst possible choice.
Then I fudge/skew the DC so that the braver and more daring your action is, the better the outcome.
I reward your success at attempting to overcome your paranoia.
But I only arrange this occasionally or it just becomes messing with your PC.

Have some required reading, pic related

we all know this dude is an ass right?

we all know this dude is an ass right?

>tfw want to GM
>tfw I don't know where to start because if I write a plot it will be ruined
>tfw if I just make a sandbox I will have to juggle a mountain of Npc sheets, monster statblocks, dialogue scripts and predrawn combat grids/dungeons

Sooner die tbqh lads

I had a DM that wouldn't let us use fire in any way to deal with an enemy encampment despite being outnumbered by hundreds.