Never Trust Them

Holy shit! I think I would be mad as well. What a ride, though.

It is a pretty good way to introduce a villain and give the party a good reason to actively oppose him.
Asshole dicked them out of a payment.

Genies, Fae, Lawyers, Devils, and Dragons
Never make a deal with a monster.

He actually turned out to be an avatar of the God of Destruction.

So the DM basically tricked a bunch of greedy assholes into becoming world-saving heroes.

My character still just wants him dead out of spite.

You're carrying around an iron bell right? user, I know you didn't go to where fae live without an iron bell in your luggage. You ring that shit till that fae gives you your damn sword.

That doesn't sound good, but a deal's a deal, user.

>LMAO MY BELIEF HOW OF A FICTIONAL RACE SHOULD FUNCTION IN EVERY SETTING IS LAW FOR EVERYONE

kill urself

It is sorta dumb though. Like
"Im going to use fey in my setting, and they are famous for being tricksters that use double meaning, vague wording to make strange deals with people. But in my setting, they just gonna go 'lol no' when they do a contract."

Like, sure, no all races have to work the same, but at that point he might as well call then Zoopa-Zoops if he doesnt want to use fey as they are usually presented. Avoid mixed messages and failing to live to expectations

don't be a pussy, become a fairy

they are immortal, have powerful magic and spend all their time hunting, having feasts and parties, and fucking with mortals. and you are worried about losing out on a sword?

Oh, so the DM's Fae don't behave as Fae do in every other setting/campaign/legend/myth/real world mythos? Then do all of what he said since the DM didn't bother to take the time to properly explain the difference, a difference that should be common fucking knowledge. It's not on the player to know that in your super special setting the sun doesn't kill vampires, it just stop them from getting erections.

Change your last name to Fae and say that you've become a fae and so you should get your sword.

Hey, you saved the world.
Still had a reason to go after him without being motivated by some hyper-altruistic self-righteous bullshit.
I like that.

He said he gets the sword if he becomes a fairy.
Only down side is that he'd be forced into the service of the fae he made the deal with.

>Hey, you saved the world.
Uhm... yeah. About that.

We've actually probably doomed the world through our own incompetence. Maybe.

We haven't actually had the final showdown yet.

The Fae in this instant aren't that...generous. I would be more like a servant than a partner.
Would such a trick work? It would be hilarious, though.

Stab harder.

Gods of Destruction are normally huge pussies that are upset they don't get to do shit.
Remind him that if he smashes your realm to bits, there is nowhere else he can go without making the other Gods take notice.

Then have your stealthy motherfucker steal whatever he needs to complete his ritual.

To me it fits with the sort of trickery and fairy tale logic of the fae so I think it should work.

No need to be so elaborate.

>I'll give you the sword. Point first. Into your soft bits.

>Stab harder.
Oh believe me. We've tried that.

>Remind him that if he smashes your realm to bits, there is nowhere else he can go without making the other Gods take notice.
He's actively doing this to spite them. I'm fuzzy on the DM's lore, but this whole thing is basically a middle finger to the other two deities.

>Then have your stealthy motherfucker steal whatever he needs to complete his ritual.
We're actively working on that bit, but he's already very far along. We just succeeded in throwing the mage kingdom into total war mode to back us up (they're outfitting anyone who can lift a weapon in magic gear from head to toe), but we weren't able to salvage the elf kingdom before the BBEG ate the whole thing with a swarm of wurms and now we're trying to keep the orcs and dwarfs from killing each other before we can turn them around at the BBEG. Progress is being made, but we have a lot of screwups to make up for.

>We've tried that.
Have you tried getting him to stab himself? That normally works.

>Actively trying to piss off the other Gods.
Well. He's confident then, or are the other Gods pussies, if there are only three Gods he could be trying to get the upper hand by eliminating their worship.
Celestial politics is fucked up like that.

>Ate the whole thing.
Got any creator-type magic?
A God of destruction, especially yours, seems extremely petty. If you can distract him with new creations he might take it as a matter of pride to destroy them.

>A rando mage hires me to go after an artifact in a nearby tomb. Sounds a bit sketchy but whatever he's paying good money.
Somehow I immediately got mental image of Sandro.

>Roll the lid off, find our artifact (something called the 'Shroud of Life') on top of an old armored mummy
The feeling intensified.

This was part of my background story and is not really a contract but I went and had a dancing party with korrigans and a guy that was probably the devil. Since I brought booze, they didn't make me dans to death by exhaustion and were so kind as to give me a gold coin that would always find it's way back to my pocket when nobody looked at it. However the dance also made me time ward forward and when I got home I found my fiancee married to my brother, both of them with white hair and a wrinkly face.

A deal is a deal.

>Have you tried getting him to stab himself?
He's extremely petty, but he's also very intelligent. We've never had an opportunity to turn his magic back around on him and he favors direct attacks anyway.

>Got any creator-type magic?
Negative. The caster's we've got are an arcane wizard, a paladin (who only knows a couple of spells because he put all his points into homebrew feats and fucked up his build), an ice wizard, and a druid. And even if we did, we'd have to be insanely powerful to attract his attention at all. He's basically trying to unmake creation atm so adding anything new inside it doesn't really matter to him.

We're mostly trying to martial up enough artifacts just so he doesn't BTFO us right as we walk up to him, but like I said, there have been some screwups.

I dunno who Sandro is.

That second reply is meant to be to this guy.

Well if he is truly trying to unmake reality and the other two deities are doing jack shit then he really is the most powerful god.

I have no idea how you're going to pull this off.
Are the other Gods just not offering assistance, they'd want to protect their followers if he's trying to unmake everything.
Hell, unmaking creation means them too, so he's going the complete omnicide route.

Could you userp one of the other Gods?
I mean, the combined effort of Gods should be able to put a third to rest.

What would be call if you're an exterminator of magical creatures like them? Just an exterminator? Been trying to create a backstory for a character like that.

>Party is dealing with the head of some merchant's guild and the Lord of the Free City of Not!Syracuse
>Apparently this guild was going to tear down a hospital and a puppy orphanage and a local nunnery to build a casino or some shit
>Being the Lawful Good people we are, the party was try to negotiate instead instead of cracking skulls
>After a couple bad rolls, the Guildmaster has us banished from the city, the neighborhood we were trying to save was on fire, and we were fleeing the town guard.

He got his comeuppance, though.

>Genies, Fae, Devils.
Exorcist.
>Dragons.
Hero.
>Lawyers.
A True Hero.

>All of them.
A Myth.

Most just say a Monster Hunter and leave it at that, since the term monster is pretty broad.

hunter or slayer are common

>He got his comeuppance, though.
...
How, nigger?

The only reason creation is still around is because they've been smacking down his bitchass for the last however many thousand years. He used to be the god of Order, I think, but somehow he became twisted and started trying to destroy everything (he sought perfect order in nonexistence) so the God of Life and the God of Creation locked him up.

Every few thousand years he'd try and break out of his containment and the other two would smack him down again, and thus everything was right with the world.

Until he finally won. The other two gods are essentially out of the game for the time being after having been BTFO'd for the first time ever. Right now the God of Destruction is gathering up the power he spent escaping to finally unmake the world. Looking for artifacts, obliterating possible threats, that sort of thing. We've gotten in touch with a few demigod tier beings who are in charge of staying his advance should he ever escape, but I'm not certain how much they've been able to accomplish.

We... also might have accidentally killed the 'god' (more of an angel) of reincarnation. So we kinda sorta took out one of our biggest power players ourselves. That one wasn't my fault.

Just sayin'.

We'd honestly have a shot if our group took notes more often, but a lot of the time we just sort of get caught up in the adventure and forget to warn people. Other times people act like complete boneheads (resulting in amusing, if usually detrimental outcomes) and screw something up royally.

Could a devil outcontract a fairy?

Depends who is stronger and hope to any god they don't work together against you.

You could just unashamedly steal witcher, since that's their thing. I rather like witch hunter too if you don't want to blatantly ripoff an author.

>making deals with faes
>or any supernatural, non-god beings
You deserved it, easy-way shitters get out

You're fucked.
Your world had a good run.

Depends, the Fae exchange favors but everything a demon or Devil does normally pushes its plans forward.

Even if you somehow managed to dick over a Devil it's probably because it's still beneficial to it in the long run.
A Fae on the other hand will probably throw a fit.

>If I became a Fae then I'll get the sword. Tricky bastard or I was too stupid to trust the Fae. Maybe both.
That's an outright breaking of the contract. Literally not allowed by classical Fae. No where did they stipulate that you have to become a Fae. If they said you didn't say they couldn't then remind them that not stating something in the contract isn't part of the contract.

And if they continue to be a dick, get a Cold Iron blade and beat them to death.

>We... also might have accidentally killed the 'god' (more of an angel) of reincarnation
Why doesn't he just reincarnate?

Well, later on the party was rolling with Not!Alexander the Great, and the city was in the way of his army. They were trying to negotiate, and they sent the Guildmaster to do it.
He was crucified, the Lord of the City was crucified, most of the court was crucified, anyone in the guild who profited from the building of the casino thing was crucified, anyone else in the guild was fined heavily, if they couldn't pay, they went to debtors prison or were bound into service in the navy as rowers, the palace and guildhouse were destroyed and a church was built in their place. We thought it was excessive, but we didn't argue.

But I need that sword to kill a lich for my group. ;_;
First, I will do that name trick user told me. Might be fun. If it doesn't work, I'll do what you said. I really do need that sword.

Words have meaning. We use that common meaning to communicate. When you use a word and just fuck off with it's meaning, you're misusing the word.

>I cast fireball on the bandit
>you heal him for 1d6
>what?!?
>Yeah, fire heals people and is cold, and is sugary, and made from dairy in this world
>you mean like ice cream?
>Yes, but I decided to call it fire in this world. Guess you should have been informed before you made yourself a pyromancer. Too late.

>lawful good
That's not how this works

WE were Lawful Good. The Warlord was Chaotic Good, MAYBE a really religious Chaotic Neutral.
Our only crime was not saying anything when the Warlord announced his plans for the city.

Which you should have done. This way you're lawful neutral at best

>Bunch of heretics burn down a Convent to build some disgraceful house of usury.
>Heretics are crucified to discourage further heresy
Deus Vult, man.

Right on, brother.

>Single instance of moral ambiguity makes you fall
You are the worst type of person.

>falling

But user what happened to the good name of deals?

>entwined fingers
fucking hot

See, he's normally supposed to.

But our paladin, who up until a year ago was the epitome of Lawful Stupid, DUN FUCKED UP.

It turned out that our paladin was actually a distant relative of this angel (he's half Aasimar), so the angel gifted him a pendant. See, what the pendant is *normally* supposed to do is allow the angel to reincarnate using the wearer as a conduit or something. He pops out of their chest and they both go on their merry way.

But our paladin had a wonderful idea.

Instead of just letting the reincarnation thing happen normally, he got the idea to supercharge the process by drinking a foul potion we'd concocted some time prior, which the group referred to as 'Purple Drank.'

What this stuff was was the result of our druid calling rain while we were fighting our way up some sort of 5th dimensional demon tower. Instead of water we got some sort of viscous purple stuff falling from the infinite void above us. My group, in their limitless wisdom, bottled it, added drops of their own blood to the vials, and then cast random spells on it. It's normal effect was when you drank it you rolled a d12 and then wrote that number next to your character name. Turns out this number was a multiplier, the next incoming or outgoing spell would be multiplied by that number and then the effect would wear off (this effectively turned a Ray of Frost into a Ray of Glacier once, that was neat).

You know what it did to Mr. Angel? He got stuck. In the paladin. We could evoke him for short periods of time, but doing so would reduce the Paladin's HP permanently each time, so it was a rare thing to use (though maybe not as rare as it should've been because he got us into trouble a lot). While he's like this he's maybe at a fraction of his normal power and he can't get better until we find a way to fucking fix the problem.

And then we meet Sven.

That's a really cute picture.

Sounds legit.

The fae could "give you the sword" point first through your vital organs repeatedly until you died and still uphold the letter of his agreement.

Always read the fine print man

>foul potion we'd concocted some time prior, which the group referred to as 'Purple Drank.'

Those clearly aren't fae. You better use a spell that breaks illusions, because fae don't operate that way.

Or your GM is a fucking idiot

>The stupid thing was to not write in a "do not harm or kill" clause in the contract.
This is just a variant of "lol you didn't ask." It's a bullshit asspull twist that invites players to become lawyers arguing over contract wording.

Anyone have that screenshot of the GM who would have every part of an item bought from merchants fall apart if the players did not specifically inspect the item. The players turned this around by showing him that they've been using buttons for gold pieces the entire game since "You never said they inspected the gold coins".

Holy shit that field trip of a group.

...Cute fae or not, how the -fuck- is she (she? He? Fuck it, it's a fae, it's whatever the fuck it wants to be) laying down on railroad tracks? Aren't those traditionally, y'know, iron? Or steel, which is an alloy of, y'know, iron?

Fucking fae, not even following their own rules...

Who's worst? Pixies or Fairies?

What the fuck sort of internet picture show is THAT image from?

Pixies.
Fairies are easier AND more satisfying to hit with my sword.

Critical Miss of the Escapist.

I've never made a bad deal. I make the best deals, believe me.

But in the rules, fireball does damage. There are no rules as to how fae are supposed to act that are not setting-specific.

I recognize that art style

Don't bail on the deal user!

Yeah, yeah. We were sophomores. Deal with it.

They're pretty great. Dumb as bricks sometimes, but fun.

Actually Sven is unrelated to this bit. I got him mixed up with another traitor NPC whom I can't remember the name of. Who also isn't the guy I'm thinking about.

It's complicated, but eventually we have to stop the resurrection of this guy named Sol. Sol was a right cocksucker back in the day. Lead the Sun Elves to glory and conquest and shit, and also had a penchant for burning everything ever for fun. Then the world got sick of his shit and drove them all to extinction. He's a nasty dude (the last Sun Elf is actually trying to help us stop his resurrection).

Now, to properly explain how powerful Sol is: He's only one of two people to have a spell in the ability compendium named after them and his spell is one of the most powerful in the game. It allows you to become fire for a short period of time, turning you invulnerable to everything but a few damage types and allowing you to fly around and shit. And it's a pale imitation of of what he's actually capable of.

Sol is like this permanently. He's just a ball of fire that kills things unless he chooses to take a physical form (which he does because he's vain as hell and likes the look of his own face).

Well, during the battle with Sol, he straight rips Mr. Angel out of the paladin and begins sucking the power out of him like he's a holy fire flavored Slurpee.

It takes the combined efforts of the entire party and the two very powerful NPCs to get Sol the fuck off him so that another NPC we were escorting can do his damn job and banish the fucker.

With his last breath, Mr. Angel gives the paladin what little remains of his power before fading from existence.

And that's the story of how we accidentally killed a friendly god. And none of it was my fault.

>not planning an interesting character arc with your GM in which you fall and must redeem yourself

that's implication of some ungodly anatomy right there

A fap's a fap, user! Now you have to impregnate me!

If you insist...

Hey this sounds exactly like my campaign, only replace avatar of God of Destruction with God of Lies.

Late night deal bump.

What if they work together?

>Azmodan, Sylvan's and Sachs, attorneys at law.

I once ran an entire D&D campaign about characters who started off in the nine hells as soul shells, having lived their lives, and accepted deals with a demon for their own respective reasons, and now had to adventure to both claim a new material form, and escape the hells/their contract.

Not every fucking paladin needs a 'fall' character arc. Some are great, remain great, and conclude great.

>to advance the quest you need the magic sword
>its protected by a powerful Fae ward
>one of their nobles will give you the means to pass if you do a favor for him
>complete side quest
>get told in order to pass the barrier you must become Fae
>get turned into one
>pass barrier
>sword is made out of cold iron
>the noble laughs and laughs

That is some Eldrad-level dickery right there.

>Azmodan, Sylvan's and Sachs, attorneys at law.
That sounds like a legal team to beat any man.
Well, ALMOST any man.

>got the reference/10
>got the other reference/10

No, not every paladin does. But fall arcs can be good if it's something worked out between the GM and the player instead of something the GM slaps on to fuck with the paladin player.

>implying lautrec would ever cheat on his yandere goddess/wife

What kind of dick-tier evil man would do this?
Stealing it

Grab it with some bronze tongs or something and carry it out to be used by a party member?

source? image search failed me

Yeah that's bullshit. If the sword was cursed and turned you into Fae that would be one thing, but just having to do it before getting the sword is not allowed.

>Wear gloves
>Kill dick fae with new sword
>Profit

A deal's a deal, you can't just call it a half deal.