You find an enchanted box topped by a finely wrought figurine

Eyyyyyyyyy

...

It's probably a small portal to the Elemental Plane of Spiders...

...

...

Try a little harder OP

How about a box thread, Post boxes, suggest what could be inside or how its trapped

Wait, get the bard to double check it's a trap first, it might have a keyhole we can still fuck.

I'll try giving us a start with my small collection

...

...

The box contains a mimic.

The room is a mimic; the box is just a box.

There's a camel spider hiding in the box.

The ornate figure is made of expert craftsmanship and precious materials; however, the box it sits on is a mimic.

Dragon dildos are in the box.

...

This one seems a little fishy.

...

I EAT THE BOX.

(huehuehuehuehue)

> you go to eat the box
> it's a trap

(huehuehuehuehuehue)

>box thread
YOU COWARDS!
YOU FEWLS!!!

>It's a trap!

I check sector 47 for enemy ships.

Since when?

Oh Carron, you silly billy.

I lean above it and masturbate

>Tiny, enraged semen-coated construct assassin attacks you that night.
She was going to wait for the perfect chance, but after that who could hold their cool?
You ruined her job mate.

Right, you know the drill, boys. Hans, visual inventory of the rest of the room. I want markings, glyphs, sigils, the works.

Bohrs, get me a read on that box - I want intensity, frequency and rough guess of types, layers and orders of enchantments. Give me special focus on that figurine, something tells me there's possible sapience there.

Claus, Helen, you're on Overwatch, one in the room and one out. Choose a callback, don't pass it on. No one enters or leaves without clearing through both of you.

Rasputin...right. Keep being creepy with that half-a-corpse. Just...hang on to the emergency talismans, right? This goes black, we might need retrieval, and damn it, you're our best shot at that.

Right. Places, everyone. Let's crack us an artifact.

I lay the mimic.

>Open box.
>Celestial wine inside.
>Figure on top of box comes to life.
>It's only a fucking Storm Serpent.
>Wrecks all but one of the party.
>The drinks to their memory.
>Drinks the celestial wine.
>Party come back to life because he was thinking of them.
>Get killed by Storm Serpent again.

oh good, A Loli head. Lord only knows the wizard needs another one.

>There's a camel spider hiding in the box.
Calm down, Satan

>You find an enchanted box topped by a finely wrought figurine
I use it as a pillow.

A girlish voice, which escapes into the air at once when the box is opened. Oops.

Midna, apparently.

An edgelord's Yugioh collection.

An ancient Irish book containing a bunch of the lost stories of Ireland, and coincidentally lets you figure out who the rightful king is.

A paranoid guy's roll of quarters for the bus.

Another smaller dog.

Water, like a lot of it.
10 cubic meter of water flowing through the opening if you dare to open that box

Seduce the figurine
Seduce the box
Seduce the dungeon
Seduce the town
Seduce everything
Warforged Bard, yo.