Feral Necromancer Quest XXXVIII

Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

Saviour!

I was holding my fingers crossed when I rolled that.

While you have ever been moving onwards, you have never rushed. You have never neglected to slow down and consider things. So you stop, take a deep breath, and consider your situation.

You remember, aside from the three gods you recognized, five more, for a total of eight. While it might be dangerous to presume, if the paths ahead do indeed split in half repeatedly, they might very well be split among the gods themselves.

You take a moment to appreciate the fact that you are taking all of this in a stride. You are, unless you are very much mistaken, walking in the house of gods. A mortal should be shaking in his boots, dropping to his knees in awe and reverence. But you are not very much impressed. Nor are you mortal.

So, you put your theory to the test, you shout a wordless shout and you listen very closely, and indeed, on each side you feel a mingling of several tones of echo. On the right you feel like you might be just about able to distinguish the 'sound' of Pern. On the left, you feel a certain absence that is likely Gurath. You feel other strange sounds, too unfamiliar for you to put to a face of a god.

>Go towards Pern.
>Chase after the god of Undeath.
>Take your time. Introduce yourself to the other gods before you rush onwards.
>Other

>Chase after the god of Undeath.

Pern just hates us for what we are, it's not really personal.

>Take your time. Introduce yourself to the other gods before you rush onwards

>Take your time. Introduce yourself to the other gods before you rush onwards.

>>Take your time. Introduce yourself to the other gods before you rush onwards.

With all of your magical power, the one thing that has brought you more success than anything else has ever been talk and diplomacy. Rushing blindly after one of their peers might cause the other gods to turn against you and an interaction with Pern or Grish is likely to turn volatile quickly.

So, you pick a path at random- sticking to the left-hand side, you go to meet whatever awaits you ahead.

Soon, however, your theory is tested. The path you have chosen winds strangely, and indeed often intersects with another one. You are just about to decide that your guess at what the paths represent might have been a faulty one, when you realize that the two paths might lead to the same destination, and as soon as you think that you find yourself next to a door, imposing even in your dragon form, far larger than any comprehensibly sized being might need to pass through.

You walk through the door and find yourself in a room that reminds you very much of your own office back in your hold. There are wooden chairs, stacks upon stacks of books, a general mess of a great proportion, and yet you feel that there is a definite method to the madness, you feel that whoever has made this mess knows exactly where everything lies and would do their best to unmake you if you disturbed any of their papers.

Speaking of the owners of this room, you notice two desks, and behind them, two gods deep in reading.

One has the form of an old man. The Old Man, indeed, for nothing could be more archetypal than the old man you see. His white beard runs so long that it disappears behind his desk, his hair is wispy and light, he wears glasses and the lenses are the size and thickness of millstones, he is wearing a strange robe, and a knitted sweater underneath.

The other is the woman that briefly spoke to you. While she is still blindfolded, she too seems to be absorbed in paperwork, paying you no more attention than the old man.

You open your mouth to speak,

(cont.)

'Ah, Vlad Tepish, I'd ask you to take a seat, but I am afraid we do not have anything suited for, ah, dragons,' the Old Man says in a voice of a brook overgrown in spiderwebs
'I merely seek to introduce myself, but it seems you know my name already,' you say.
'Indeed! How could I not? You will figure out my name, or something to call me by if you are worthy of it. But how could I, the god,' and you suspect you hear a hint of mockery at the term ' of knowledge and magic could not know of the only interesting person to spring up in a thousand years?'
'You know you are not allowed to have favorites,' the woman says.
'But I am not! He has made himself important, I did not give him any advantage!' The Old Man says.
'Indeed? The most talented wizard since the great dying, and you have not had a hand in it?'
'Oh, you know how it is. I give a little bit of talent, most folk squander it,'
'A little bit? The man is walking our halls!'

>'Sir, I thank you for any boon you might have given me.'
>'Lady, I assure you, I have studied hard and sought out knowledge and power by my own choice. Your... Colleague... is not to be blamed.'
>'I am sorry, but I am in a bit of a rush. Would you mind if I just asked you a few questions and left?'

>'Lady, I assure you, I have studied hard and sought out knowledge and power by my own choice. Your... Colleague... is not to be blamed.'

The mighty beard man opened the door, we chose to walk through it.

>'Lady, I assure you, I have studied hard and sought out knowledge and power by my own choice. Your... Colleague... is not to be blamed.'

>>'Lady, I assure you, I have studied hard and sought out knowledge and power by my own choice. Your... Colleague... is not to be blamed.'
Basket weaving in particular is an interesting topic.

>>'Lady, I assure you, I have studied hard and sought out knowledge and power by my own choice. Your... Colleague... is not to be blamed.'

DAMNIT, now we will never figure out what it was!

Can we ask the epic beard guy what was basketweaving all about?

>'Sir, I thank you for any boon you might have given me.'

'My lady, if you would pardon the interruption,' you say.
'Hm,' she considers it, 'it does go against the due process and most of the time ignorance of Law is not an excuse for the failure to uphold it. That said, it is not only you that is ignorant, but any man in the last thousand years, and you truly could not have known any better. Very well, I grant you my pardon,'
'I thank you. I feel I must say that that while your, ah, colleague, might have opened some doors for me, I have taken every chance to learn and to gain magical power by my own strength and will. He should not be blamed for my persistence.' you say.
'I see. Well, I suppose I have little choice but to believe you.' the lady says.
'I know what you are thinking. What is the significance of basketweaving in all of this,' the Old Man says.
'What? How could you possibly know that?'
'God,' the Old Man says.
'You are not omniscient. Otherwise there would be no point in you reading that book you are reading right now.'
'Good. Very good. Books can be complicated. People are quite easy. You like a good mystery, and you hate it when you have not got it figured out.'
'I,' well hell, you have to admit you're curious, 'You are right. What is the purpose of basketweaving?'
'I will tell you, if you can guess my name,'
'What if I get it wrong?'
'You're wrong! What kind of a god of knowledge would I be if I punished ignorance and failed theories?'

>The Old Man
>Wiseass McWizardface
>It's anything I choose, for men name gods
>[write-in]

>>It's anything I choose, for men name gods

>It's anything I choose, for men name gods

>It's anything I choose, for men name gods

The ammount of names all gods had up to this point seems to sugest this. We should probably name him as well.

>Dumbledore

>The Old Man

>>The Old Man
’Cause I like that name.

Also this seems like a double trick-question. We were asked to guess his name, not to quip about godly naming conventions like the others seem to be doing.

'It is anything I choose, for men name gods,' you say.
'Close! Oh so close, but-' the Old Man starts. You realize something, you have explained what his name should be, but have not actually named him. You string random sounds together as quickly as you can.
'D'Uhm D'Or!' you say before he can finish.
'Ah, I was almost ready to be disappointed. You just made that up, didn't you.'
'I did. And whatever I chose was right.'
'That's exactly right, though you had the entire start of my sentence to think about it.'
'So, what is the answer?'
'Ah, well, if you become extremely proficient in basketweaving,' dramatic pause, 'you can weave some rather impressive baskets.'
'You have got to be shitting me,' you say.
'Of course it is not as simple as that. But that's what it boils down to. Let us say, however, that as you advance your definition of 'basket' might have expanded quite significantly.'
'I don't know what to say to that.'
'Would you mind if you stuck to calling me The Old Man? And in any case, you have lied to us once already.'
'I have?'
'Indeed. You said you have grabbed at any chance to gain power. However, eleven years and three days ago you had the chance to tap into the source of power that is demonology, and yet you refused. Why?'

>'I was afraid it would lead me into servitude to some greater demon.'
>'I was unwilling to make the sort of trades that demonic pacts usually entail.'
>'I was sure there would be some dark god involved down the path, and no offence, but I have had quite enough dealings with gods.'
>'It would have been wrong'
>'I do not have to explain myself to you, Old Man.'
>[write-in]

>>'I was unwilling to make the sort of trades that demonic pacts usually entail.'

>'I was afraid it would lead me into servitude to some greater demon.'

some combination of
>'I was afraid it would lead me into servitude to some greater demon.'
and
>'I was unwilling to make the sort of trades that demonic pacts usually entail.'

>What I said was "I have taken every chance to learn and to gain magical power by my own strength and will". My strength and will. Not borowing it from demons, or the tall dark and demanding.

>>'I was unwilling to make the sort of trades that demonic pacts usually entail.'
Advancements for all, or for ourselves. Neither would be served by giving souls away.

"as you know my life up until now has been dedicated primarily to diplomacy and peace, demons are by nature creatures of chaos that aim to disrupt peace, creating pacts with demons would not have given me power either, I would be borrowing it from the damned, it would not be my own"

And we did use that one demonologist who already had promised his soul to them, didn’t we? It’s just that making new trades would cost more than they give benefit.

'I felt it would not be worth it. Demons demand much in trade for their services. Nothing that I felt I could give up. And I do not fool myself, I know that they seek to make servants out of men, I had no wish to serve.'
'You have shown as much in the past,' the woman says, 'And you did say that you sought to improve through your own strength and will, so I believe that D'Uhm D'Or was wrong in his assessment in calling you a liar. Demonology can hardly be called an achievement of either.'
'Do not let Blarthop hear you say that,' the Old Man says.
'My Word shall be heard by all the gods. That is my purpose.'

>'My lady, might I guess that Justice is your domain? Would you mind telling me a little about yourself?'
>'You mentioned Blarthop. Is he another god?'
>'I am chasing Gurath, and I fear that he might be getting away. I must ask my leave.'
>Other

>>'My lady, might I guess that Justice is your domain? Would you mind telling me a little about yourself?'
Mundanes in the gods’ realm are required to be nosy, right?

>'I am chasing Gurath, and I fear that he might be getting away. I must ask my leave.'

>'You mentioned Blarthop. Is he another god?'
>'My lady, might I guess that Justice is your domain? Would you mind telling me a little about yourself?'

'My lady, am I right in assuming that Justice is your domain?'
'It is my domain and it is my name, but it is not quite as you imagine.'
'In what way?'
'I do not prance around, involving myself in mortal matters, I do not make sure every peasant gets their hog back, nor that the borders between petty lordlings are set right. I am the justicar of gods.'
'I am not sure I understand.'
'I keep these beings in check. They would lay waste to the world with their petty squabbling if not for me,'
'My dear, I would never-' the old man says.
'Yes, yes, you would never, but the others might, or they might provoke you. You know what my purpose is.'
'Ah, ever it is the fate of wisdom to be interrupted by brashness. But I do apologize, the child asked about you,'
'There is not much more to say. I have a small handful of followers left, but I don't give them any real boons advice aside. You have met one, I believe.'
You remember the Warden.
'Might I ask if the Warden was successful in his duties.'
'You may ask, but I fear I may not answer.'
'I see. You mentioned Blarthop. Is he another god?'
There is a pause, one that you find significant.
'Yes. He is. Although he would probably style himself a Demonlord or some such nonsense.'
'God of Demons?'
'They are a part of this world. They must be represented.'
'My, but I am excited. It has been so long since I have met with a mortal with so many questions! Even during an epic chase of climactic proportions he makes the time to ask questions! You see why I like him now, Jus?' The Old Man says
'Do not call me that.' Justice says.

>'I really should be going. Thank you for the information.'
>Other

>>'I really should be going. Thank you for the information.'

>'I really should be going. Thank you for the information.'

'That does remind me, I really should be going,'
'Oh pish posh, have you not read a single legend? When the hero reaches the realm of gods he must ask for a boon from each god he meets, and those boons are supposed to give him a chance to succeed.' The Old Man says
'It is somewhat traditional. That said, it is hard to grant my shield to someone that cannot hold a shield due to his draconic nature,' Justice says.
'True enough. A flaming sword or a pair of enchanted boots would look strange upon him. Oh, of course! We should ask him,'
'Fine. He has composed himself decently enough,' Justice turns towards you, 'You may ask for a boon. Do not overstep your bounds.'

>'I ask for a shred of your power to use as magic,'
>'I ask for the time to reach my quarry.'
>'I ask for the physical strength to match him'
>'I ask for protection against his most vicious strikes.'
>'I ask for nothing, I gain my power through my will and strength.'
>'I ask for the knowledge of a weakness of his.'
>Other

>>'I ask for nothing, I gain my power through my will and strength.'

>'I ask for the knowledge of a weakness of his.'

>>'I ask for nothing, I gain my power through my will and strength.'

>>'I ask for nothing, I gain my power through my will and strength.'

>>'I ask for the time to reach my quarry.'

>'I ask for nothing, I gain my power through my will and strength.'

Guys I understand that we are a pridefull dragon, but last time we fought that guy he slaped the shit out of us in a single blow. And he wasn't even in his domain. And we had an army. How about we do ask for something?

'I ask for nothing. I gain my power through my will and strength.' You say.
'Oh, but you are right again! You might regret being right this time, but by the thirteen hells I must see how this goes down. Jus? I'll be stepping out for a bit.'
'It is Justice.' Justice says.
The Old Man has already shrunk down to a size that can comfortably ride on your back, and sat atop you.

>'No, truly, I cannot accept any help.'
>'Fine, but I must ask that you do not interfere.'
>'Alright, let us depart. Would you mind if I asked you about the other gods while we're on our way?'
>Other
>Other

>>'Alright, let us depart. Would you mind if I asked you about the other gods while we're on our way?

>>'Alright, let us depart. Would you mind if I asked you about the other gods while we're on our way?'

>'Alright, let us depart. Would you mind if I asked you about the other gods while we're on our way?'

>Alright, let us depart. Would you mind if I asked you about the other gods while we're on our way?'

You take flight, and the old man whoops in a surprisingly childlike manner.

'This will never get old!' The Old Man exclaims
'Would you mind if I asked you some questions on the way?'
'Are you insane? Nothing would please me more!' the old man says.

You are now flying through the hallways of the Hold of Gods. Flight is truly strange in these ancient halls, for you do not have a specific unit of 'flight' to use as reference for movement, so the flight is strangely broken up by jumps that might be described as teleportation, wrongly.

'Could I ask you about the other gods?'
'Of course. There are Pern, Grish, Gurath and Justice, and you are a little familiar with each of them. You are wrong in some of your assumptions about them, but it matters little.

Then there is Blarthop, a nasty creature of excess and excessive stupidity. He has a cunning of a sort, but he relies on the things he knows, he refuses to learn at all,' The Old Man says with palatable disgust, 'Uul, the goddess of Sea, and let me tell you, there is no way of knowing whose side she will be on, or if she is going to act at all. Layma the goddess of creation- she deals with music, art, childbirth, luck, that sort of thing. Very sugary, kind of boring, but she has some good ideas from time to time, really good ideas.

I think there is a dragon god flying about somewhere, but since he refuses to manifest and I don't know anything about him, we tend to discount him. He'll probably eat us all when the end-times come, hahaha!'

>Ask to visit one of the gods [which?]
>Ask if there is any god worth visiting.
>Ask something else.
>Ask for directions to Gurath and fly straight towards your encounter
>Other

>>Ask to visit one of the gods [which?]
Layma?

>>Ask if there is any god worth visiting.

>>Ask if there is any god worth visiting.

'Is there anything in particular we should visit? This Layma seems like she might help,' you say.
'Eeh, she usually stands with Pern when it comes to necromancy, but if I vouch for you she might hear you out. I thought you didn't want any divine intervention though.'

You are now back at the crossroads, somehow. You could have sworn you were going ahead, but you find yourself once more at the eight-way split.

'I am just looking for information at this point,' you say, and this pleases the Old Man. It almost seems too easy to make him happy with your answers, but on the other hand you are not lying, nor are you being disingenuous in any way.

'Well, Uul might be a mighty ally, or you might have to fight her, or run away from her- I recommend running, by the way- if she's in a bad mood. You could talk to Blarthop, of course, but I can tell you what he's going to say: "Blah blah, puny mortal, blah blah, power, blah blah souls". But you are forgetting the most obvious ally.'
'Am I?'
'Sure! Pern would trade his shiny codpiece for a chance to destroy Gurath.'
'Pern kind of hates me.'
'Nah, he's against you on sheer principle, he'd hate you as much if you were a mass murderer or an ascetic hermit raising dead only when they float upriver to you. You could probably get his help, or at least something like it.'

>'Very well. Let us go see Pern.'
>'Pern is going to attack me on sight. Let us go see Layma, she seems to be the most likely to see reason.'
>'I will take the roll of the dice over ancient scheming any day of the week. Which way to Uul?'
>'If Blarthop is as stupid as you say I should have no trouble gaining some information from him. We should go there.'
>'What about Grish? We have been at odds before, but I have undone all damage to the forest I'd caused before, so maybe we could get along.'
>'That settles it, if there is no certain help to be found among gods, then we shall fly to meet Gurath straight away.'
>Other

>>'Pern is going to attack me on sight. Let us go see Layma, she seems to be the most likely to see reason.'

>>'I will take the roll of the dice over ancient scheming any day of the week. Which way to Uul?'

>'Pern is going to attack me on sight. Let us go see Layma, she seems to be the most likely to see reason.'

>'I will take the roll of the dice over ancient scheming any day of the week. Which way to Uul?'

I'm
I'll swap to Uul to stop a deadlock.

'The goddesses, Uul and Layma, they seem like the ones worth talking to.'
'Really? Uul?'
'I will take a roll of the dice over ancient schemes any day.'
'A valid approach, though you can only rely on luck for so long.'
'Worst comes to worst we can run.'
'You say that, but I give you no guarantees that you will be able to escape the oncoming storm,'
'I thought she was the goddess of sea.'
'Where do you think storms come from? Keep up, kid.'
'True enough, so perhaps we should start with Layma,'
'Oh good! That way,' The Old Man says and points down a hallway. You cannot see his face, but you feel a leer in his voice.

Eventually you reach another great doorway, the portal to the room of one of the gods.

You enter, and you see a smothering array of satin, red velvet and silk. There is, in fact, entirely too much red and too much softness in this room.

The goddess herself is pale, blonde, blushing, wearing nothing and wearing it well. She looks a little surprised to see you.

>Avert your eyes, approach her with all due respect.
>Compliment her appearance and get straight to the point.
>Other

>>Compliment her appearance and get straight to the point.

>Compliment her appearance and get straight to the point.
We alpha.

Oh, and roll discipline 1d20+5 DC 20, nothing too bad on failure

Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>Glare at The Old Man.

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Not needed though.

Vlad Tepish! Godlike restraint!

You bow politely, though not excessively. You look the goddess of sex in the eye and say:

"My lady, you are the second most beautiful creature I ever have laid my eyes upon, and love makes men blind to all other beauty."
"Mmm, your Bathory, yes true love, I know. I had hoped to seduce you away from her, but I should have known. You are so strong.' Layma says.
'Eeeheheheheheheee,' the Old Man says.
'Any sane man might drop all of his other worldly wishes for the hope of being embraced by you, but alas, sanity is not a quality I can pride myself upon.'

The goddess walks up to the harp in the room, gold padded with red velvet. She plays and she sings and you know that what you hear is beauty that men are not meant to endure with their sanities intact. When she is done with her song you simply say:

'That was a beautiful song.'
'Oh, me. So, so very strong. Very well, if you insist on being so very professional, ask anything of me,'

>'I am simply seeking to understand the situation among the gods. I hope you could tell me a little about yourself.'
>'I must face Gurath. Do you have any advice for me?'
>'I must face Gurath and I would rather like to have an audience when I defeat him. Would you care to join us?'
>Other

>>'I am simply seeking to understand the situation among the gods. I hope you could tell me a little about yourself.'

>>'I must face Gurath. Do you have any advice for me?'

>'I am simply seeking to understand the situation among the gods. I hope you could tell me a little about yourself.'
>I may seek to reignite true worship of some of you in the future, and would like to know how to.

>'I am simply seeking to understand the situation among the gods. I hope you could tell me a little about yourself.'

'I am merely trying to understand the situation I have found myself in. I would like to ask you about yourself.'
'Oh, well I'm just me. I'm important, sure, but honestly, I'm just the goddess of what you humans would be doing without me. So I just watch you create. Life, art, beauty. Sometimes I give a little inspiration. A little poke in the right direction, a little word in the mind of the poet. A little hard-on in the pants of an oblivious lover. I do what I can to help.'
'What are your domains then?'
'You travel with the Old Man. I am sure you know. Creation. And getting lucky.'
'He said it was luck.'
'Oh, sure, that too. I am the base desires of all men and women. To create. To connect. To love. If we want to be disgustingly formal, my domains are Love, Art and Luck.'
'I see, you are as fascinating as you look,'
'Oh, little necromancer, flattery will get you anywhere you want. Anywhere.' Layma says.
'Eeeee- Ahahahahahaa' the old man says.
'As another point of business, I am going to be facing Gurath. Do you have any advice?'
'Shroud yourself in love,' Layma says, pauses and laughs, 'No, I wish you could. That beast certainly knows nothing about any real human emotions. And he thinks he is so clever. I wonder if he knows how many of the necromancers that came to him did so only for the power that they thought would let them come in someone else.'
'I am sorry, but you seem to not have answered my question.'
'Hm? Oh, right. Well, he does not comprehend life. I said as much, did I not? He doesn't understand love either, but knowing that isn't going to help you kill him. Probably.'
'I see, it has been a pleasure.'
'Not enough pleasure, not by a long shot. Hmm, I think I would like to see what Gurath does when faced by you with two gods in tow. I want to go with you, is that okay?' the goddess says and pouts in an openly manipulative way.

>'Sure, the more the merrier.'
>'I am sorry, but I would rather avoid distractions.'

>>'Sure, the more the merrier.'

>>'Sure, the more the merrier.'

>>'Sure, the more the merrier.'

>'Sure, the more the merrier.'

>>>'Sure, the more the merrier.'

>'Sure, the more the merrier.'
As long as she rides on the back, not the front

'Certainly. I would have my feats witnessed.'
'Wonderful.' Layma says.

She does not seem to find any need to put on any clothes, and she gets up on your back. Facing the poor god of Knowledge.

'Hi there, Old Man, miss me?'

Gods, am I right?

You fly for a while, making sure to stay very VERY level. You are uncertain if gods can get heart-attacks, but Layma bumping and grinding against the old god would certainly put that to the test.

'Next stop is Uul. Where to?' you say.
'E-eeh; ahah,'
'Come now, my beautiful Old Man, remember who you are, think,' Layma says,
'Eheh, right, of course, Uul, that way,' the old man points.

When you reach the lair of Uul, you are quite surprised by what you find. You were expecting some sort of an underwater zone. Perhaps something with a lot of kelp, the smell of fish, maybe filled with dead soldiers.

You find yourself on a beach. There is even greenery on the left side, with an endless sea on the right. There is a woman, her skin dark and her significant breasts and waist covered with an apparel made up of fishing nets, pieces of flotsam, and some simple canvas. She senses you in her domain and the sky grows black. You hear distant thunder.

>Looks like she's mad. Leave while you can.
>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.
>Other

>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.

>>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.

>>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.

>>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.

>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.

She wouldn't possibly attack us with two other gods in tow, right? R-right?

>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.
I mean, when's the last time she saw a dragon being ridden by not one, but TWO different gods?

>Introduce yourself. What's the worst that could happen.

You shake off any fear you might feel and stride onto the sand looking confident. Surely, she shall not attack you when there are two gods on your back.

As soon as you are entirely within Uul's domain, a great wave raises, and is rushing directly towards you.

>Dodge out of the way- the woods and the dunes might protect you
>Run back out the door
>Stand there unflinching

>Stand there unflinching
If she wants a game of chicken, we'll play her game of chicken.