Time for another Elf thread???

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What do you think that wood elf and that human soldier are talking and laughing about?

Maybe something extra heretical, like them having kids?

Probably laughing over some misconceptions about each other's races, and maybe being surprised to find common threads in their life stories - similar friends, nostalgic moments, stuff like that. Or maybe they're literally cracking jokes.

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Why?

Because I'am all put of gay grox porn and now I want elf cheesecake!

So should I expect more shit from a certain elf-wank user who loves putting in "low born human getting lucky with a kind and generous elf waifu?"

And or must I endure more "sad and lonely imperial guradsman being uplifted and happy thanks to making love with qt eldar waifu?"

What're you're thoughts and conditions in making love with a male elf such as the one presented in the pic?

I'm straight.

Assuming if one is a woman or if thou were a gay dude, what are the conditions and preferences for screwing with elf men?

Dick jokes.

Dick jokes transcend everything.

>Human Soldier: "So what's the deal with the whole 'Knife-Ears' thing? The boys back at Firebase Delphine; where I work at, seem to also copy that term."
>Wood Elf: "Oh, probably by the fact that we elves have our pointed ears."
>Human Soldier: "Are you fuckin' serious? Ahahaha, 'Cause of the ears? And I thought it was something metaphoric, but its just a dumb and cheap insult that'd barely cut any deep wounds? Psh, It's same as some high school jock who calls a kid wearing a polo and thick-rimmed glasses a nerd. And really are your ears really THAT sensitive to make you orgasm? Not that I wana try though!"
Wood Elves: "It's just different 'biology', 'Spoon-Ear' and I ain't gonna bore either of us to death."
Human Soldier: "EGADS, 'HOW DARE THEE CALL THY HUMAN BODILY PARTS IN SUCH A DEROGATORY PHRASE, I SHALL HAVE YOU PUNISHED FOR HERESY. DEUS VULT.'"
Wood Elf: "'OH NO PLEASE DO NOT PUNISH ME OH-SO-HANDSOME-HUMAN. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR SUCH HEATHENISM. I SWEAR I'LL LET YOU SLURP ON MY EARS.'"
Human Soldier: "'LET ME NIBBLE ON THY EAR LOBES YOU SAY? VERY WELL THEN... DEUS VULT!!!'"
>*both laugh heartily*

Guys I want to have sex with Elves.

It's important.

Seeing as I'm neither...

Not being Drizzt?

Or just be one of these guys. Dat Skyrim and Morrowind voice...

I can't tell if you're OP samefagging and are that aforementioned elfwank user or someone else with a repetitive complaint style that reads way too much alike. Either way stop it. It's bad.

Dude you are asking me to pretend I am of an entirely different sexuality and somehow figure out how I should develop instant ideas of how I'd feel about an entirely different race of the same gender as me, despite what I'm imagining.

I don't know, okay? Can you honestly explain why your favorite color is what it is, or the gut feelings you get about people?

take your pick

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Better selection.

Yes.

Give me all of them.

Except the cannibals, they're cute but that's just creepy.

So do the Bosmer of Elder Scrolls tend to be Yandere too?

How about this, I shall answer the questions as easy as I can:

Male elves are so girlish and can be soooooo bishy that having gay butt-sex with them is hardly considered gay. So straight male sucking cock of pretty faced elf guy? Not gay, though really degrading for a male human and would shatter your dignity, still not gay nor homosexual 'cause of how bishy and girly male elves are.

So basically, "would you fuck this?"

And the answer is:

Maybe.

Not particularly. They'd probably get mad because you munched on an apple or something.

I'll stick with females, thanks. A lot simpler and overall cuter as far as I'm concerned, and I don't have to go to great lengths to like them or explain why I do.

>a pretty woman wearing a masculine business suit
>a pretty elf woman wearing human business/corporate clothing

YEEESSS, This is one of my fetishes.
THIS MAKES ME MOIST

Not really.

Crazy and/or insane? Yeah.

If you read any of the books in the games, you'll find that they (along with everyone else) all have their own insanities.

It is indeed the best art. I mean, look at her! She's even smoking a pipe! So professional!

Pity I have little else like that, and nothing near as cute.

There needs to be more of modern fantasy elves in suits

>she'll never call your name over the intercom to remind you to get cracking on the Henderson report

I hope this is relevant to the thread for elves...

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>more elf pics

Thanks guys, I can add more of these elf pics to my flashdrive and folder containing many images I can use for posting and shitposting.

Space elf is still an elf.

I care about you and hope that you do well in life.

I'll be honest, that animated ear twitch scared me and made me spit my drink at my lap. That was really unexpected and all.

I love this guys art but his girls look so unhardened by war even with scars. It's very dissonant like you know that Deldar in his one pic will torture you to death but she looks so inviting and there's no malice on her face.

It's cause they're space elves.

But what about tomboy elves?

Yes.

But his SoB pics have the same issue.

>his girls look so unhardened by war even with scars
Eldar, are such floozy-frilly-flowery scented-pantied-milksops, they don't get to bear the actual markings of war.

>It's very dissonant like you know that Deldar in his one pic will torture you to death but she looks so inviting and there's no malice on her face
...Actualy I think thats a neat strategy a DEldar could use to easily lure in horny human virgins she can rape and torture later... Seriously though wanting to fuck eldar and tau is totally fine. But the Dark Eldar? No way! They're edgy assholes who only care about looking like drug addicted psychopaths and escaped asylum patients, and I'll quote from one user: "They probably even subtly, or unsubtly rape prepubescent teenagers ever sixty-nine days."

Have you considered Shadowrun?

It's the emprah's gift. They're the Daughters of the Emperor now, right? Well, he wants grandkids.

That, and their faces probably harden when they set shit on fire.

thanks senpai... So anyone of you curious to see how my folder full of images used for posting look like???

yes

No, mine is bigger anyway.

Not really, but start posting, dubs.

OKAY then here it is.

1/9

With every post, it gets harder and harder not to tap into my elf pictures with the word "slut" in the name.

2/9

nigger please start posting the pictures not the screenshot of your elf folder please and thank you

>the filename
If that elf is a guy, I sure he'd still easily get alot of young women (and older ones especially MILFS) falling head over heels for him and beg him to take their virginities.

Heh lol, different user here and some of those pics I also have in a folder of my own.
But as stated ya dont need to make things harder for yourself dude. Just go back to shitposting and post pics instead of this.

Even the other elves?

>Fathers! Lock your daughters up!
>And your wifes too!
>There is a roving boy band of hot elf guys

Hey guys not sure if this is the appropriate type of thread to discuss about this. But apparently LCB is now continuing as I saw yesterday, the thread about it got archived so find it yourselves.

Also gonna post that stupid pic of no. 52.6 and Taldeer as Nate and Nora from FO4. And someone apparently posted and rebloged it in tumblr too...

>Roving boy bad of hot elf guys

I kek'd.

>Visage of elf dad

>Human:"Yeah, it's hilarious watching some of the boys back at base fidget around you elves. High Command has been sending agents to make sure everyone acting nice and proper so we don't have any 'incidents', and your comrades that are stationed on base have been taking advantage of that."
Elf:"Hehehe, I can only imagine! You humans are so cute when you blush."
Human:"Funny, I'd say the same thing about elves."

See

This is my fetish if you haven't realized it

Recently I've been thinking of starting a campaign with elves versus everyone else. The players would be part of the everyone else. Not sure what system but probably not D&D.

The basic deal is that they were like Tolkien elves, except maybe even more so, and there were never Atlantean/Numenorean style humans that fell from grace to provide some idea of past balance.

And then something happens, nobody knows what. But it was pretty bad and had repercussions all over.
I'm thinking it might be something like humans starting tapping into Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, and lured close something horrible. The creator deity (for whom the elves are His Mary Sue race) goes to tell it to fuck off and gets curb stomped.
The players wouldn't know until maybe later.

Anyways, they feel the pain of their creator's getting his shit pushed in, and it basically drives them all crazy. He was like, part of how their selves were balanced and interwoven with reality or something. Their souls feel discord for the first time in history, and so with no practice at imposing chill on themselves, or impulse control or anything like that, so they decide the only thing to do is start sharing some pain across the continent. There may be fewer elves than humans (plus whatever), but not that many fewer, and one crazy elf can expect to slaughter 20 soldiers like they weren't even trying, it's a problem.

What do you think?

>buying into fucking ESO like its actual elder scrolls canon
They'd probably be pissed you didn't eat the apple assuming it was offered. Turning down food is just rude.

I saw that. Is the writer any good, tho? LCB is cheesy as fuck and it only stood up on its own two feet because the majestic prose of the blessed user who originally whiped it up.

Deedlit is a cute

How can I romance my elves if they're trippin' murderin' hos?

Sounds like a cool origin story as to how these elves become all spooky Fair Folk and Discworld-like (I recommend reading Lords and Ladies if you haven't.) Maybe they fuck off to their own realm (the site of the final battle or something) and it's also spooky and fairylike.

I want an elf to spank me.

>slut
What about elven men? What word would you tag them with? Grumpy Old Men? DILFs? Sugar Daddies? Bishies? Twinks? Pretty Boys?

Anatomically a female Eldar is about 1 foot taller than a human male. What would really make more sense is if he was inhaling her giantess amazonian queef.

Cunt hunters?

Probably bishies. Since I just use slut for when the lady elf is dressed in highly impractical armor.

>Or they're dressed like Drow.

I don't think her queefs could be inhaled with a 1 foot difference. It's a Fallout 4 reference anyway, though I'm sure the artist just didn't know eldar were tall.

>A Dark Eldar driving a Chester-the-molester van
"YAARR! Avast there lil' monkeigh kiddy landlubbers. You wonts some free candy? I gots candy and booty in me van. And you can tell yar teenage babysitter to come too, I gots vidya games and them boyband CDs in me van aswell!"

>Poke
"Nmmgh."
>Poke poke
H:"Excuse me, miss?"
"Nggh."
>Cold hand under robes
"EEEEEEKK! I'm awake I'm awake Revered Mentor, no more sp-..."
H:"G'evening Miss. I'm no mentor I'm afraid, just a farmer."
"Uuuuhhh. Right. Where am I?"
H, in a joking manner:"Well, yer on earth, in the good ol' US of A, in'a backwoods of Meth Virginia, I mean west."
"Earth? Oh no, I REALLY fucked that spell up. I can't even get a simple retrieval spell right!"
>Breaks down into blubbery and tears
H, surprised:"Whoa, whoa there, it'll be alright Miss, no need for tears, c'mon on now!"
>Wraps arm around Elf, eliciting a squeak and a blush.

You do realize the elf at >> is a male/boy elf, right?

Damn son, I want to run my tongue over those pecs while he's channeling lightning.

That's a male elf

Yes, I do! Elf's too out of it/distracted to correct him, and he's too much of a good ole country bumpkin to tell the difference between Elf sexes.

Oh, user...

For real? Just checked the archive, couldn't find anything about Love Can Bloom redux.

Option A: you ever see those romance movies where the middle aged and overworked woman finds out she just needs a man in her life and everything somehow magically calms down then the next 2 hours are how the guys dick solved all her problems? Do that.

Option B(the fun option): murder, pillage, and rape right alongside your waifu. What kind of egotistical fuckstick not only enters a relationship knowing theres overt traits they openly dislike but also enters with the intent to change that person on a fundamental level to better please you?

Got any other life shattering choices you need made for you?

This makes me wanna request Fallout 4 companions drawn as Warhammer 40K beings.

..And which companion would LIVVI/Taldeer romance with? Not Curie hopefuly since she'd a synth made from the DNA of their daughter

People, people, I know my male cock sleeves from my female cock sleeves!

Whoa. user, Calm Thine Tits. He was making a joke.

So give her the D?

The correct terminology is Slut. When refering to an elf you are refering to a slut.
When hailing an elf it is okay to just shout "hey Slut!" Then point out which elf you were refering to when all the elved in the room turn their heads.
If you have just met an elf and don't know their name or have forgotten their name for some reason it is acceptable, and consider polite so as not to offend by letting it be known you forgot their name, to refer to them by their nickname, Slut.