Dragon lovin'

>be a chivalrous knight
>people are freaking out about a dragon who has not yet taken any livestock yet but are still freaked out about it
>you assure the citizens you'll dispose of the dragon and you've also learned of the dragon's location
>you gather some friends and a few mages to fight the dragon and you and your party venture out to the supposed dragon's lair but then you all see this
>a skinny-ass scrawny young bard/minstrel is singing a loving song about the dragon and it turns out the dragon is a female
>the female dragon appears to be really impressed and loves the minstrel's song and afterwards the dragon lowers her head and the minstrel rides on her nape
>the female dragon walks back to her lair; with the bard in tow, as the bard continues to play his instrument

what'll you and your party do now that you all realize the dragon is apparently in a "relationship" with a fellow human?

also you may discuss and post dragons too

Other urls found in this thread:

static1.e621.net/data/c0/f0/c0f0f06ed2153c69d8303411acc3e499.jpg
dragonsburn.tumblr.com/post/61187442826/dragons-burn-1-9
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Make examples of them both.

Kill the dragon, cut out the bard's tongue, and dispose of any half-dragon snowflakes that may have spawned from this ordeal.

This is a combination of three of the memes I've really gotten tired of.

The "I seduce the dragon" meme, the "Bards are retarded sluts" meme, and the "OP needs to stop posting forever" meme.

Wait. The last one's fine.

Prepare several traps at the entrance of the lair and wait in ambush. Slay the bard first to stop the buffs then destroy the dragon

>be chivalrous knight

you know exactly the answer

lol guys i'm a bard who likes to fuck weird non-humans lol isn't that funny and ironic haha guys i seduce the dragon good joke right

b-but i'll roll for it anyway, just to, uh,

haha no lol, it's a joke guys i'm not serious lol

i'm just kidding guys

Is this the kind of setting where dragons are inevitably all the time evil? If not, I'd investigate further to check for sure that this dragon is likely to attack the citizenry regardless. If the answer in either case is yes, then I'll slay it. If the dragon really doesn't seem to be a threat then I'll recommend they try to avoid alarming the townsfolk further if at all possible and leave them to their lives.

Kill the dragon
Kill the bard
Kill everything else in the cave

>human bard sings a song to a dragon
>dragon likes bard
>you go d'aaawwwwww at the moment
>you then disturbingly wonder how they 'consummate' their love

/thread

>The dragon is male and the bard is female
How does this situation change?

>How does this situation change?
The gape becomes, Very Real.

A dead bard and a satisfied dragon.

...

Good luck having a magical realm in an anti-magic field, shitcock.

Depends. Is this one of those settings where dragons have the ability to turn into a human for long periods of time?

Lady, can I remind you that that guy is a bard? Yeah, I've seen him playing songs around the taverns. Just thought I'd let you know.

Dragons may be wildly implausible and often have supernatural powers, but I don't think they just stop existing in an antimagic field like that.

Beef Cake

Either tell them to go somewhere where they do not bother townfolk or have them get married and live in said town.

PREMARITAL COITUS IS VERBOTEN

CONVERT AND SAVE THINE SOULS ERE JUDGEMENT COMES

I require sauce on this. For archival purposes, of course.

Deus fucking Vult!

I immediately wonder if the bard is doing this as some sort of self-sacrifice and try to extract him from the situation if so.

Otherwise, I declare it a job well done and go get some porridge at a tavern.

Me too, also for reasons.

...

Thirded for sauce.

found it

static1.e621.net/data/c0/f0/c0f0f06ed2153c69d8303411acc3e499.jpg

NSFW WARNING (obv)

Would (You)?

Nah.

You're doing gods work, reverse google search gave me nothing

Convince the townsfolk the dragon is now their biggest buyer.

Seriously, you don't have to worry about bandits. EVER.

Most setting dragons shapeshift, m8.

Well yeah, I owe her husband some payback.

And to top it all of, a neat Bard is married to qt dragon girl, therefore it is a nice sight to see and the town can expect adorable half-breed kiddies.

I think all of the party would be grossed out and yell at the GM.

We played a game where the king got a juvenile dragon to guard the kingdom treasure hoard, as a long term investment.

>tfw dragon /ss/ when the adult princess got into a relationship with the naive and impressionable young lad

Can't say no to a maid outfit. It's my weakness.

However if the dragon is going "shapeshift into human" route for this, a well-timed dispel is going to cause some serious problems for them.

fukken luv this meme! ^_^

Reminder that all things on the internet are memes.

Memes are human thoughts, transmitted to another human.

...

I fucking love that picture so much.

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I know some people who literally speak half in memes and other canned responses.

Sometimes it makes me want to cry. I've stopped communicating with people and started communicating with copy-pasted words. And it's not better with real people - then they just pull out stuff from the internet, and either we talk about inane things everyone can enjoy or I sit there and realize I don't care about these people or what they're talking about.

Reminder that scientists recently developed the first human to human control, where a man lifting his arm on one side of a campus generated signals making a woman on the other side want to do the same.

Reminder we've managed to imprint false memories in rats using fiber optic cables in their brains, and share factual data that way.

The Memeweb is the theoretical internet connected directly to your brain, a work of science fiction where mankind can voluntary connect and disconnected from what is essentially a hivemind of all other humans.

But that's not the point I was trying to make.

Its just a response to anyone who throws around the word meme as an insult or criticism, where you point out that by definition almost everything is a meme.

Language itself is a meme, and a meme delivery system.
A cat is not a meme, but the concept of a cat which is communicated is, meaning "a cat" is a meme even if a cat isn't.

tl;dr I'm just being a bitch

Fuck you all and this outdated metal gear memes. Use more current and relevant memes you fucks. And metal gear rising is old and outdated, so fuck it.

bring in the one thing no female dragon can resist

>"MGR memes are old and outdated!"
>"Metal Gear Rising is a stupid game"

Hey guys, take a look at this imbecile!

The only question I ask myself (and my God) is: Did either of them do anything deserving to be punished?

If yes, purge. If no, be on my way.

Wasted trips

Sounds like a sticky wicket. If it were me they'd all be a hair's breadth away from getting my goat. Ah well, it's all water under the bridge.

...

In color too

Hey stan, still see everything as shit? You'll grow out of it, just learn to move on

>everything I don't specifically love is shit
>everything more then 2 years old is shit
>everything new is shit
What's it like not liking things?

Can't the dragon just, you know, turn into a human form?

Almost all of the Metallics (the types you're most likely to fall in love with) can change shape into a humanoid form almost right out of the egg - in fact, Silvers are quite famous for preferring their humanoid forms, spending long periods of time as the silver-haired squire to a noble knight, or a studious apprentice to the kindly court mage, all to learn more about society and what it means to not be a giant death-breathing lizard.

And we both know they're gonna be fucking a *lot* in those forms unless it's a Gold, those guys are just sticks in the mud.

I've never liked anyone's attempts to colorize Andersson's artwork. The man draws some great cheesecake though.

>seeing that your horse is injured, your young squire offers to replace it for a while

There's a dude. With a thing.
dragonsburn.tumblr.com/post/61187442826/dragons-burn-1-9

>and either we talk about inane things everyone can enjoy or I sit there and realize I don't care about these people or what they're talking about.
oh I'm sorry, did you want deep meaningful conversations every god damn time you swing by?

Sorry for the small talk. Jesus fuck. I thought we were friends.

But hey, feel free to bring up some more interesting topics. If they're interesting to the group, AT ALL, then someone will pipe up. If not, then I guess it wasn't that interesting, was it?

OH, I'm so sorry, are YOUR interests not the same as OUR interests? Go find some better friends you fucking half-wit.

And nobody escapes family.

THUSLY I HAVE FOUND THEE, MY RIGHTEOUS BRETHREN.

Observe bard and dragon, analyze environment, identify relevant facts, consult with allies, devise plan, execute. Return_0.

>spending long periods of time as the silver-haired squire to a noble knight

Isn't this basically the plot of Dunk and Egg?

So let me get this straight. The bard solved the problem before anyone got hurt in any way? And he's the bad guy? I think you stab-happy chucklefucks are just pissed that you worked up your muder-boner for nothing.

What if they've been saving themselves for the right moment, and now they want you to officiate the ceremony?

>The bard solved the problem before anyone got hurt in any way? And he's the bad guy? I think you stab-happy chucklefucks are just pissed that you worked up your muder-boner for nothing.

The bard solved nothing, he simply kept the beast placated until the thing tires of him.

You know naught of dragons good sir......

It's like you guys have never seen a Disney movie.

>dragon is taught/has instinctive knowledge that humans are jealous and aggressive assholes who will kill them on sight
>dragon meets a friendly human in her young and impressionable first few centuries who teaches her that friendship and peace between humans and dragons is possible
>DRAGONS ARE INHERENTLY EVIL
>KILL THEM AT ALL COSTS
>kill the one human that gave the dragon a reason to be peaceful and kind
>dragon starts killing people and ruining the land
>SEE DRAGONS ARE BLOODTHIRSTY SAVAGES WITH NO HOPE OF REDEMPTION

There's nothing good or just about going out of your way to create the world you're afraid of.

The OP hasn't actually described what dragons are like in this setting, and they're pretty variable across fiction in general, so I guess we don't really.

Recruit the bard.

Anybody who can talk dragon into sex must be a good diplomat.

>what'll you and your party do now that you all realize the dragon is apparently in a "relationship" with a fellow human?
Be the bard obviously

He's gonna go explore the dragon's "lair" tonight
Lets hope he doesn't get lost

Full body job instead of spelunking

Only three of the ten core dragons can and most third party ones can't~

Go on...

>Bard turns out to be a bronze dragon with a baneful polymorph curse.
>He's been human for so long that his human brain has forgotten he was a dragon.
>Dragon only takes the bard's courting requests seriously because she senses his true form.
>Hilarity ensues

This thread is my magical realm.

>It's a dragon lewd thread
>People saying that dragons can polymorph
>Ruining dragonsex this hard

YOU'VE GOT TO FUCK THE SCALY PUSSY user

Scales are good but absurd size differences are not for me and people always go straight to lizards the size of buses

>beastiality
I'd ask the player to leave

>pussy
I only like my dragons male, thank you very much.

>implying the GM isn't trying to inject their sick fetishes into a game

That's hot though

Then I'd leave if I can't stop him.

Why are you so thin skinned
Jesus, even the implication of sex is magical realm

>Woo internet GF
>End up setting up a face to face date, hope she's not a guy
>Turns out she's a huge and horny dragoness
>Things go well, a few dates later she wants to get intimate
>You point out the size difference will make thing awkward for you
>She says you'll just have to get used to ridding in the lizardbus then

That's an opinion you are entitled to, obviously. Dragons do come in a variety of sizes in fiction, though. Kinda wish that was more represented. That's all.

There's plenty of human sized dragons in furry art

I'm pretty much with you. A mention of a perfectly reasonable (two intelligent, sentient species) relationships is not at all the same of intense descriptions of their sex lifes.

But then again, fa/tg/uys can't help but insert their own misgivings about sex into literally everything.

*scalie art. Furry art is different, nonny.

Have furry friend and browse a mostly furry porn site for many of my non-porn images. Can confirm no different other than semantics because still anthropomorphic non-humanoid being and still a lot of porn.

>fucking an animal isn't bestiality you guys!!
>my fetish isn't weird!!

I liked your preface to deflect. However, the two are very different.

pic related

I often like to imagine that, for whatever reasons, dragons have very small genital to size body ratios.

If you want to be extra degenerate you could insert a cuckolding fetish here about humans seeming 'so much more hung' then a dragon dude's little pecker.

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>realize too late that the lizard bus has no emergency exit
>driver does not seem to have realized, though it sounds like she's enjoying the ride as you try to climb back out
>eventually hear a muffled voice from outside, asking if you're okay
>yell back they you're stuck
>awkward pause before she tells you not too worry, she'll get you out again
>try not to think about enormous dragon claws
>she'll probably cut you in half if she tries to pull you out with those
>feel something slide in after you
>doesn't feel like a claw, much too soft and... wet?
>... is she trying you dig you out with her tongue?

What's the difference between a furry and a scalie?

One wants to fuck (most commonly fictional) things with scales and the wants to fuck (most commonly fictional) things with fur

There is kinda a lot more to it, but that is SORT of the short version

vore is bad and you should feel bad

muh diiikkkk