Cheating Thread

All's fair in love and wargames friend.

i learned how to do card illusions to cheat at magic the gathering the sleight of hand also comes in handy for d&d and other dice games i have a set of loaded dice i made but never use as i have a statistician build all my warhammer lists and i've played with im long enough to make most of my victories a sure thing depending on dice in miniatures gaming is for scrubs

You choose a femarine on purpose, didn't (You)?

its soviet!

So you cheat, and you don't understand punctuation. Tell me, do you have any friends at all?

While playing in a campaign where a player character got cursed by reading a book he shouldn't have, I gave him a cheap set of dice to use, ostensibly so he didn't have to keep using other people's, but actually because the D20 and one of the D6 were imbalanced and tended low. Explained why his rolls were shit after the curse was lifted and he punched me in the arm.

Fucking brilliant!

Yep. Y'know that technique where you roll d6s individually, and try to drop them on a softish surface to control what numbers come up? One of my long time players did this all the time. He is very good at it, and can do it with nearly any die (d10s are his weakness, but if he rolls them individually, he's trying to cheat).

I've known for a long time, and I have never called him out on it because it'll just be an argument. But in case he's listening: That's one of the reasons I stopped DMing for you man. The other reason is that you don't seem to realize that you need to DM occasionally for me. I can't bear the entire burden.

If you have to cheat in order to win or have fun and the game isn't munchkin, you have somehow managed to become the lowest of the low and need to find something else

This is incredibly funny to me

I used to cheat a lot when I played MTG because my friends were throwing ludicrous amounts of money at the game that I just couldn't justify to myself to match. We played commander a lot so for awhile whenever I'd draw, I'd purposely fuck up drawing a card and knock part of my deck over. I'd wait til it was someone else's turn, then palm a card I wanted, fix the deck, then just put the card on top when I was done.

Then I realized there's Rhystic Study, and cards like it, and stopped giving a fuck. Even better was when I quit the game entirely and stopped comparing myself to other people based on my ability to play the game.

Had a player at a 40K tournament I was running make four attempts at creating a legal list and then ragequit.

(lists were presubmitted and then vetted precisely because of this faggot)

You could have just bought a dice tower.

I used to soft cheat at Junta (hiding money so that the value of my in-hand cash appeared smaller) - it's entirely in the spirit of the game.

Damnit, is that you Steve?
The only reason *you* stopped DMing was because you ate all my snacks everytime! Nobody likes Cheeto bathed handbooks Steve, nobody.

I used to play against some fag who used a misprinted flexable ruler. I just stopped using mine and insisted we share theirs.

you need a dice tower. I'd like to see him fudge rolls on that.

He'd have bitched about having to use it. Plus, they're fucking noisy. I keep meaning to buy dice cups at some point.

Not Steve, but Steve sounds like an ass, and should wash his hands before handling books.

This is all just a weird joke, right?
You all don't actually consider doing any of this, right?

Alright Veeky Forums, recommend me a tower.

A glass?

Sweet bait.

When someone at my flgs gets caught cheating, theyre ostracized. There are two guys I can think of off the top of my head that just come in and watch niw, because no one will play them anymore.

>tfw I've honestly considered cheating
>tfw I suck so hard no matter my rolls
>tfw I just do the good goy and spend more money on more plastic crack, trying to brute force a proper list and maybe win one day
>tfw I've won one (1) game ever, against my older brother, and I had to do all kinds of tricks and tactical genioys to get there and in the end it was just a matter of a roll of dice that I won.

I wanted to cheat, but that one victory has kept me from doing so, so now I work with a broken half-painted army, with a shitty set of rules, against powerplaying faggots, and in the end, maybe one day, I'll get to victory number 2.

I should probably move to RPG's or some shit, LARP or something like that, something simpler than wargaming 40k

One of my friends tend to drop dice when he's about to roll.
This in itself is not a problem, however...
If the roll was high from the drop he keeps it and if it is low he quickly picks it up.
"oh i dropped it doesn't count"
He's also really into RAW readings of rules, among his favorites is "Sieze the initative on a 6"
If you have +1 to the result a "7" won't let you Sieze.
He was also screaming bullshit to most of the FAQ except the clarification on Tank Shock not being ment to kill units.
None of our players have ever used the tank shock spam either...

Warmachine is cheaper friend and in June MK3 will be out so that means new bsttle boxes. Good time to get started.

But...I'm already hooked on GW plastic shit.

I haven't even ordered a single recast... ever...

All my stuff is from GW certified stores...

It's an addiction man!

add to that that I have a fuckload of CHAOS fuckfaces... and I have a problem

>against powergaming faggots

Honestly, senpai, that's most of your problem. Try to find people who aren't WAACfaggots to play with, or a vet to apprentice to.

Why would you bother?

Unless you're playing for serious money cheating at /the/ is just sad. If I caught a guy cheating I'd almost feel sorry for him, clearly he's got some rough shit going on if he needs to cheat at a tabletop wargame to make himself feel better.

And then never play against him again, for obvious reasons. He can blow his brains out for all I care, playing against blatant cheaters sucks.

I always try to be extremely clear about what I'm doing to avoid even the notion of that. Declare what I'm rolling before I roll, roll in the dead center or close to it so opponent can clearly see. Clearly announce if I'm picking up misses or hits (try to only pick up misses, but sometimes if you only hit one shot out of 10 it's easier to just do it the other way). Announce my intention before moving ("hey I'm moving these guys with the intent that they're halfway in the forest and should be just out of range at about 19" etc.) Clear up what each terrain piece is before the game. Offer to show the opponent my army list and rulebook and if he has any questions all he has to do is ask, etc.

Usually doing this encourages the other guy to do it too, encouraging a more enjoyable experience for both of you. If I'm suspicious of a guy though, I'll usually ask to borrow his dice/tape measure while moving something on his side of the table, ask to look at what one of his units does in his book (anyone who refuses to let you see a rule entry is pretty much guaranteed to be up to something) and if he has a habit of trying to roll behind terrain I'll walk around the table like I'm checking LOS to keep an eye on it. Usually it's just a misunderstanding but as this thread shows, some guys will do anything to win at plastic army men.

My table (d20) has explicit rules for dice rolling when I GM.

1.) If a dice falls out of your hand when you would roll, you take the result it lands on.
2.) If you thereafter try to pick up a dice you rolled or dropped before I can see the result, I consider it a "1"
3.) If you roll a dice off the table, I consider the result a "1"
4.) If you roll a dice before declaring why, your roll is ignored. Generally speaking nobody really even touches their dice until they explicitly need to roll.

>"Sieze the initative on a 6"
>If you have +1 to the result a "7" won't let you Sieze.
That's the single most fucking stupid and yet brilliant RAW bullshit I've ever seen. I love it.

>a better player
You mean
>a better cheater
by today's canon

But who completes the ancient puzzle?

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