>am your typical Neet
>decide to lie on my resume
>apply at an Emerging hedgefund "Millennium Management"
>my profile shows solid alpha gains for 20 years
>only ever really bought bitcoin last year
>only 23 years old
>get the interview
what the fuck do I tell them???
Fake it and then ask Veeky Forums what to do
Do the exact opposite and you'll be set
So user, I see you've been trading since 3? Very impressive.
This never happened so you're gucci
>20 yrs work experience as a hedge fund manager
>23 years old
grow a beard, watch wolf on wallstreet (take notes), take a xanax (not too much) to calm your nerves, and get really good excel before coming in. bring a bottle of whisky with you as a gift and wear a suit.
>gainz since you were 3
YOU ARE FUCKED.
should I pitch a stock in the interview? I dont even know anything about stocks except Pepsi
>apply to the SEC
>get the phone interview
>get the office interview
>going well
>last question
>one of the managers casually asks me about SEC news
>accidentally mention crypto
>spaghetti spills and i mention i own crypto
>haha well...we'll be in touch
Do not mention bitcoin.
Yes, shill DRYS good luck
is it really an emerging hedge fund? looks pretty fuckin big to me
kek
I think hedgefund daddy-o's are going to see crypto gains in a different light than regulatory agents
bitcoin was the ultimate hedge this year. you could lose 75% your money and still be breakeven... they already knew
if they mention it tell them it was a fucking typo, and hope that they trust you not to fucking fat finger an order,
or you could just go in and straight up mention in first thing, like before they even ask a question, after you say hello, "oh, I would just like clear up that I have had 2 years of gains, not the 20 that the resume mentions" you might even want to bring a "corrected copy"
shows that even though you slipped up, you were quick to identify the mistake, and take the necessary action to remedy the situation, shows that your in control, and calm cool and collected when there is the potential for something to come up, and that you pay attention to the little mistakes in a way that you know how to handle them so well, you'll essentially never let them compound into a giant fuckup cascade while at the same time not obsessing over it or sweating the details, for this part you'll have to make sure to have something else to go to after fixing things and move to it in a way that doesn't seem rushed or evasive, just that the problem was solved, so now it's time to move on.
of course, this could all just be my autistic imaginings of what would go on in the interviewers heads.
but hey, if you made some serious gains and managed to outperform the market (or btc for that matter) and they don't ask to see your trading/investment history (doubtful) you could try to pass off the one year as two,
or mention how crypto first caught your eye, and you did extensive research and all that effort was the only reason you got to this point and that you believe that the returns of an investment come from all aspects of what you put into it, and that you see the time and information you gained as having value as applied to the decisions and gains you made.
also, fuck you, you could at least try to figure this shit out on your own, or ask friends or something, making type all this shit out because you're just a dingus
how does it feel replying this big ass blog post to complete larp?
>tfw i have nothing better to do than this and watch charts on a friday night
i only larp because I hate the weekends. im bored of crypto markets i need the whole wqorld markerts to satiosfy me
>admitting it was a larp
kys
sorry I made I mistake
Pic related is OP.
Pepsi is a goof stock to tell them because you can show your knowledge when they say "but aren't sodas declining in popularity?" and you say "I'm glad you asked :)".
We knew it was a larp. No faggot like you would ever get an interview, lying on your resume or not.
It's friday? oh..