You get an unlimited wish

Wishing for infinite money makes all money equally worthless.

It would take an infinite amount of money to make any transaction. Walking around with that much money in your pocket would be enough to change galactic alignment and piss off God.

Wish for infinite, benign, wish-granting genies.

The right thing to do is to wish for a credit card which always has $10 more on it than you want it to have

If this wish is unlimited in complexity and length of speaking or stating it then I am going to fucking lawyer up and have them work out a good as fuck wish for me. That will also help them so they don't try to get at me.

Naturally however all wishes devolve into three basic categories

>> Muh Waifu
>> Muh Dream Jerb
>> Muh Munee

gf

I wish for an ability that tells me all the steps I need to follow in order to achieve any goal whatsoever while providing me with the knowledge, ability and will to carry those steps out.

I wish for an ability that tells me all the steps I need to follow in order to achieve any goal whatsoever while providing me with the knowledge, ability and will to carry those steps out.

>I want a puppy and a kitty and a mustang and a mustange, but this one is the animal this time, and a personal chef for life and a donut, NO! two donuts and a...

>will
>"Take the controller and beat this level for me, I can't do it."

>unlimited wishes
>ever

I think the wish-restrictions from Aladdin are a decent starting point
>Refuses to accept substitutions, exchanges, refunds, and wishing for more wishes
>he cannot kill
>he cannot make people fall in love
>he cannot raise the dead

You could easily add on some more that make sense and basically limit the wish to what the genie can actually accomplish. Creating an entire new planet might be pushing it, but most other things ("I want to be a king", "I want to be the strongest person who ever lived", "I want to have arbitrary amounts of money") would be A-Okay, however.

I wish that every person knew their gift and their calling, and strove to be the best they could be to the benefit of their fellow man.

>Inb4 people were born to be rapists

>Can grant eternal, youthful life
>Can't raise the dead

I think I fucked up HARD

>Impulsively ask for eternal youth
>Snicker to myself at how clever I was for not falling for the "Immortality doesn't mean youth xDDD" meem
>Concept of "eternity" starts to sink in now that I'm done jacking myself off
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Fuck that. I want free will, Communist Ivan.

I would wish for the power to manipulate biological matter at will in a manner of my choosing from any destination at any time any number of times I see fit.
Cure all diseases, make everyone in a form that appeals to them, then fuck off to watch from my personally cultivated organic satellite

I just wish I wasn't such a bitch. Like holy fucking shit. Goddamn. Fuck.

It wasn't can't, but won't. 'Not a pretty picture' he said, implying that the dead come back wrong.

It's more, "How do I beat this level?" and then I get all the steps to beat the level along with the skill to do so. The will part is just giving me the energy to do it instead of lazing around.

So how far could you push a wish before it counts as two? Eternal Youth(a.k.a. stop aging) and Immortality are clearly two different things, aren't they?

But if you don't have the will, you've essentially been replaced. You didn't have the agency, so something magically made "you" the one to do the thing.

You agency is encapsulated within your will. Your very soul is lazy and unwilling to do something. If suddenly, you were MADE willing to do something, your soul will have been forcibly changed. You're not you anymore. Someone else is in the pilot seat.

When you have to use the words "and" or "plus" or the like.

This allows for some clever use of multiple languages. If there's a French word that means both eternal youth and immortality for example, you could use that, so long as the Genie speaks French.

My exact thoughts. This is the only real answer. Fuck gerbils.

Damn everybody is wishing for world peace and junk.

I just want to telepathically induce orgasms.

>UGHH--sandwich

Same user here. For some more decent restrictions, I like some of the ones from Fairly Oddparents. I listed a few below.
fairlyoddparents.wikia.com/wiki/Da_Rules

("child" and "godchild" in Da Rules generally refer to miserable children who have been assigned fairy godparents to grant their wishes)
>A godchild cannot wish to interfere with or create true love
>Fairies cannot directly kill, maim, or injure living beings (but their magic can if it is done indirectly)
>If a child interferes with something of person of the past in an era, which is three months [three months in the past?], it will alter the present and future and he/she will be forbidden from returning to the same one [forbidden from returning to the same time era? the same timeline?]
>If a godchild tries to wish for a "fake deed" to cover for a lost deed, doing so would be considered falsifying documents
>A godchild cannot wish for money as that is considered counterfeiting
>A godchild cannot wish to steal (i.e. if you wish for tickets to a concert that's sold out, that would mean taking tickets from their rightful owner, and that's not allowed).

I think you're mixing different meanings of "will" here. He means drive, as in, he always feels like doing what have to be done instead of postponing it in a "meh, I'll do it later when I feel like it" manner.

> He doesn't want to be a good neighbour.
I'm ok with that.
At the very least I wish that people knew what to do with their life. I've worked with too many broken people who never found out what their gifts were or who were told that their gifts meant fuck.

In my group, there is a houseruled spell called Shenaniganless' Sublime Wish.

It's effect is something like this, "the caster can grant one wish of something that he deems reasonable to a target. In turn, the target may foresee the results of the wish, and choose whether to accept them or not. Once both parties have verbally agreed and fully understand the scope and magnitude of the intended effect of the spell, it's effect is cast. No one may be a dick during the casting time of this spell. Having ulterior motives or derailing the game for other players is considered being a dick."

Generally, we don't have to use it very often.

This right here is the best wish by far

But that's the thing. Man does not inherit a sole gift for with which he may reap to sow. Man is an infinite animal whose ambitions may drag him, zig-zagging along the path of art; and abruptly, he may land in the path of law and order; and thus, with sudden step, he may find himself inhabiting an oasis of arithmetic.

Man cannot exist to find purpose because man must live to BUILD purpose. Without the freedom to build, man is an animal, sleeping in the cold of the streets.

t. Andrew Ryans

>tfw you become the tyranid hive mind

Manipulate time at will
Need money? Stop time and make a stroll through a mall taking 100 or less from each shop. from my local mall now i have 32500 and the whole place is so expensive that weird would be if they noticed. Or just go and take a lot in one go from a bank. Will barely notice as well, as long as it's a large sucursal.
About to become a victim of a crime? Danger? Stop time and walk away.
Most problems can be dealt like this and those that can't can be fixed with enough money.
Want to be an athlete? Stop time every few seconds or less and make small changes in your position so you always do the best for each situation. And a long etcetera.

this is nice.
Stop time

Having worked in retail, no, everyone would notice $100 has gone missing. Unless someone was being a shit and not doing their job. So probably about half would notice.

Total, boundless omnipotence while keeping my human awareness unless I so choose to modify it.
Unlimited wishes are stupid.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

I wish the one granting wishes wasn't such a little bitch.

>Your wish is granted...

Okay then. Let them notice.
Everything was stopped anyway including tech. So no cameras or shit. I would only have to restrain myself from doing very often on the same place as to not fuck the employees and not be way to greedy to the point of getting noticed when it comes to taxes.

>I get a contradiction

No need to make a wish at all. By the principle of explosion, everything I could ever want is already true. Unfortunately, so is everything I'd ever hate.

Carefully write a document, wish everything in that document becomes true

>he thinks the IRS can't do their job, either

But if he can stop time, getting caught doesn't even matter.

>The wish granter takes your wish literally
Holy shit! I despise this fucking cliche. I'm sure an all-powerful being can understand what you truly mean.

It does matter. It means he's a bitchnigga who can't do anything right and his only redeeming factor is time stopping.

And you just know there is some trans-dimensional being out there who doesn't exist in normal time who is coming for his booty.

he probably does, but wants to be an asshole

what's the IRS? in my cunt taxes recollections is incompetent as all hell. Today i bought 2 booster packs, my dinner from a Homemade food style delivery and a piece of wood for the table im working on and only paid taxes while getting the receipt for the wood.
So there is that.
Besides they are also corrupt, just pay some hundred and let him destroy the case. Or be generous with a couple thousand and have a great ''friend''.

I want to live peacefully while having not worries and enough money for all my hobbies, a good pc and obligatory expenses.

>I'm sure an all-powerful being can understand what you truly mean.

Of course he does. He's doing it to fuck with you because he has nothing better to do.

That's the entire point. He's a fucking prick. And you're getting something for free.

>I wish the genie wasn't such a manlet

>Need money?
>take money from shops
Shops are prepared for this. They notice when their money is missing. You might be better off just using your Za Warudo to pickpocket normal people who aren't necessarily as paranoid about their pocket-change.

I've always wondered about time stoppers if they ever age while they've frozen time.

Bruh. Go home. You are not cut out for this.

Am I missing something here? What's the issue with gerbils? Can we not go chucking them into the sun? I kind of need them for feeding my more picky snakes.

Fixed by manipulate at will, meaning can choose what and how to manipulate.

>Shops are prepared for this

This. Even if a drawer is pennies off it will be noticed, although if your boss/manager isn't an asshole they probably won't care a ton. More than a dollar or two, even in a high-end place (especially in a high-end place where people don't really pay with cash) and it's a pretty big deal.

Internal Revenue Service in America

they are the thugs of the accounting world, and they can dictate what you can and can't do with your money if you don't pay your taxes. they can reposes land and property if you taxes are messed up enough to warrant an investigation.

I don't really need to be happy, I just wish I wasn't this sad.

You know how I know there aren't any women in here?

No one is wishing for fun.

And girls just want to have fun.

Good thing im not american, and our equivalent is corrupt and incompetent.

With enough money i can have peace of mind, with a bit more money i can also have fun.

can i wish for wishes of a limited power, which is different from an Umilited Wish?

>With enough money i can have peace of mind, with a bit more money i can also have fun.

Nigga that reference wasn't even obscure.

Look man, when you wish to let someone achieve their maximum potential then you're bound to get some heinous shit here and there. Murderers, kidnappers, rapists, and the like. Because that may very well be their calling in life. The worst part is that by wishing not only for them to find their calling, but for them to use these talents for their fellow man, you'd be validating their existence and actions. They may not benefit mankind as a whole, but they'll definitely be beneficial to those within a similar niche.

an unlimited supply of NZT and an permanent shot to make myself immune to the side effects

>To the benefit of their fellow man
>Murderers, kidnappers, rapists

>tfw user wishes this and nothing changes in me
why live

Gerbil swarms and weregerbils have the highest mortality rate of any encounter in my groups. Don't fuck with Advanced Tiny templates and expect anyone to survive.

I wish for the ability to alter reality.

user, you already can.

See that literally anything on your floor? Pick it up. You just altered reality.

to me, omniscience seems like it's already implied of anything that is omnipotent.

Yall people dumb,
just wish for a loyal genie who doesnt have wish restrictions and isnt limited by the 3 wish rule, duh.

>isnt limited by the 3 wish rule, duh.

>you now have a loyal genie limited by the eight-hundred-quintillion wish rule

It was never specified what "fellow man" could be since that's a broad ass term. Did you not read that last part? It might be considered shit by nearly all of mankind as a whole, but it's beneficial to those that share the ideals of the ones doing the heinous shit. Not to mention that the nature of the wish could very well twist some of that shit into a beneficial thing in some awful djinni tier levels of dickery. That murderer for example could damn well be Frank Castling/Dextering his way through the other awful people.

I was expecting a 1 wish rule.

Nigga damn.

I wish to be truly, genuinely happy, forever.
People can't even say I'll get sick of it, or I won't have any baseline, or anything, because I'll still be happy.

>watching the world burn and everything you love destroyed

>with a smile

You da real monster.

>and isnt limited by the 3 wish rule
The djinni is now limited by a two wish rule. Don't try outclevering a djinni user, it never goes well.

>Your entire family begins suffering the worse suffering forever.
>You just stare at them idly with a shit-eating grin as they deteriorate beyond all redemption.
>It's not your problem
>Not anymore

I wish that unlimited wish doesn't work anymore.

Fuck all you lazy shits, go out there and make change under your own power.

I'm typing using eye-tracking software right now because I am crippled from the neck down, you piece of shit. I don't even have an entire spine inside of me, not even broken, I lost some of it. Fuck.

>I wish that unlimited wish doesn't work anymore.

It's now a limited wish. Now I wish for you to be stuck on Mr.Bones' wild ride for being a dick.

I wish your wish is undone

>wishing that on someone

for what purpose

>[forbidden from returning to the same time era? the same timeline?]
Same timeline, I believe. I remember this became relevant. Dadtatorship episode at the very least.

Also, I wish that the next wisher doesn't have his wishes granted.

He said Wish, not Miracle user.

Dickery begets dickery user. I just jump straight to the endgame. I mean what's he going to do? Wish that I join him? He already used his one wish.

I wish for this guy NOT to be stuck on Mr.Bones' wild ride.

I wish the stars were right

HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR

I wish to never be on Mr. Bones' Wild Ride.

But the next poster is a skeleton and belongs there.

>[RATTLES ANGRILY]

THE FLESHIES KNOW, SHUT IT DOWN

THIS IS NOW A BONES THREAD
FLESHIES LEAVE RATLERATLETALRATLE

>He thinks that even the most powerful wish can make the ride end

Do you think if I wish to die a instant, painless death, the genie will fuck with me? Because that's my wish.