My players are taking so fucking long to make characters that I'm thinking of visiting each of them one-on-one or having a special "let's make characters" session. Or just making their characters for them, handing out sheets, and saying "Fuck you, this is what you're fucking playing."
General GM griping thread. Or griping about your GM, whatever, I'm not picky. Just tired.
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>decent idea for a game
>hard time trying to hit the sweet spot between TMI for players and too vague a description of what's going on
>no system seems to satisfy my aims
I dunno, maybe I'm just fried from finals.
>Game falls apart
>Spend several months building content
>Finally pull game together
>Get through half or less
>Everyone remembers that they have lives, no game
>Cue whining for six months
>"user, I miss gaming"
My players are never willing to go along with the theme of the games I make. If I make a serious game they'll act like wacky social retards. Next time I make a silly, lighthearted game, so now they want to be serious.
Make a game where they're supposed to play the heroes, and instead they'll want to play random murderhobos. Make a game where they're supposed to be murderhobos and now they want to play the heroes.
For Christ's sake, guys, just go along with what I write or tell me point blank you don't want me to GM anymore.
Combat is so fucking boring in my games, in part because i'm not spicing it up, but also because my players refuse to do anything other than make attacks or cast damaging cantrips.
I'm just going to throw deadly encounters at them from now on to try to inspire some desperate creativity, while also working on my own flaws as a DM.
I would always recommend having 1 session dedicated to making characters. I've only ever played DnD with my highschool buddies so its easy for us to chill and drink/smoke and make characters. a lot of you guys on here actually play this shit with random people so I can't fathom how annoying that must be.
This kind of contrarianism pisses me off. These are grown-ass adults acting like children and doing the opposite of what you tell them to. I shouldn't have to use reverse psychology on goddamn grown-ups just to keep a game's tone consistent.
I had this problem the last two times I ran Star Wars games, with two different groups. First group I said "This is a Rebellion-era game and there aren't many Jedi" so what did they all make, completely independent of each other? Motherfucking Jedi. One of them wanted to play a Sith, but I said no. The next time, I said "This is going to be a game centering around the mysteries of the Force and various Force-using traditions, with the Sith as the main badguys." So naturally, everyone made smugglers, slicers, combat droids, and soldiers, and only one of them made a Jedi.
I'm adaptable enough that I can change up a campaign as I need to, but fuck is it ever annoying when they do that. Contrarian fucking shitheads.
Change games.
Gripes? None
Tuesdays gane. Smoke a blunt with everyone before hand and let my players do some great shit while making it fucking kethal so they don't pull some retarded stuff.
Thursdays game. Crack open a few beers with the wife and our two roommates. Play a very sexual game with 3 cuties with at least 2 winners a week, but little do they know I win regardless.
I will eventually, but at least one player is adamant that we stay in DnD so he doesn't have to learn a new system.
>spend hours making important NPCs to whatever plot line they're going towards.
>PCs immediately kill them.
>Players quit because they get bored of not having character interaction.
I was a player most of my life. I'm a very new DM and now I can see why a lot of DMs are assholes.
Change player(s).
>one player is adamant that we stay in DnD so he doesn't have to learn a new system.
Beat that player to within an inch of his life with a baseball bat.
My players do all character gen at home. Stat Rolls can be done in person if necessary. All character sheets and a 4 paragraph backstory is due before the first session. I offer bonus exp or gear for things like character art, heraldry, expanded back story or short stories, family trees, maps etc.
>Forever GM of group
>Don't want to be
>Every so often, someone else tries to sit behind the screen
>Inevitably, they are terrible at it, making a dull railroad boring world, and the rest of the group clamors for me to run things again.
>This is probably not helped by the fact that terminal stupidity seems to crop up roughly every 10 sessions, when they become fixated on a plan that will almost certainly lead to their demises, and I have to sit back and work out whether or not it would be better to protect them from themselves this time.
>Implying being a GM is bad
get over yourself if you dont want to do any work just get a GMPC and play a premade campaign asshole
b-b-but he's one of my best friends from high school.
>Be running first campaign ever
>Really excited, because I really like the setting
>Everyone makes characters
>Only one person actually has backstory
>They have absolutely no bond with each other, only sticking together because meta, refuse to try and bond
>Walk around every single setpiece I put in front of them
>Too distracted with their FUCKING PHONES DURING COMBAT
>Too distracted with IRL bullshit outside, and would rather talk about that
>Only wind up playing once or twice every eight/ten weeks
If you fucks don't actually like my game or want to play it, FUCKING TELL ME. Three weeks ago they went into an irradiated dungeon. We won't be playing again until at least June.
How do you win? Is there points??
I had a few friends tell me they were interested in doing a game, but none of them really seem to be putting that much effort in. Getting people to make roll20 accounts, talk about the rules, get me their schedules so I can organize the sessions - it's like herding cats.
I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to put a decent amount of work into this and a couple of the players are just going to flake out until the whole group loses interest.
I just wish they would be a little more proactive. Obviously as the GM I'll usually end up with more time invested and responsibility, but it shouldn't be such a pain in the ass if they're truly interested in playing.
The easy answer is 'just replace them' but they're great players when things work out. I'm just getting to the point where it isn't worth the effort anymore.
Spoken like a true newbie to GMing.
Not the poster but I've been dming for 8 years with a single game exception. I fucking love it.
Have you considered having the first session being "make characters, talk about what you're getting into?" I find that having the very first session be about what you're getting into helps out a LOT. Not only do you get a feel for what the party wants, you also give your players the opportunity to offer input.
Also, allows the characters more time to determine why they're adventuring together and flesh out their characters.
>Two of my friends have problems with my game
>I improvise too much, and force the party to do things
>They decide to Co-DM
>They get pissed when we're not far ahead enough in their 'story'
>They each have a GMPC that's levels ahead of the party
>The bosses are extremely difficult, either due to having, and I quote 'level 17 shit' or having a solution that was very hard, if not impossible to find.
>This weekend, those two DMs have told me that they miss their characters, and that they want to go back to my game.
>How do I respond?
I'm going to kill you and eat your heart to gain your power
This is why I wait until my players make their characters to start finalizing the plot, tone, and setting. And I always make their characters with them. The only downside is that it takes a while for the game to take off.
Last time I played I felt so fucking restricted, the freedom to let rocks fall and kill people spoiled me.
That's a good idea, I'll start calling it points. Thanks bro.
What system are you playing? If it's 3.X then no wonder. (And to an extent the same is true of 4e).
>session zero
That's a great idea I see a lot, but I can guarantee you that literally only one of my players would be willing to do that
KILL HIM
Wow, that sucks
Tell them that they dug their own graves. About 90% of my campaign, aside from maps, is improvised on the spot and the players seem to love it.
Murder is the only solution
If you want to GM, you say sure, if you don't want to, you say no.
Depending on what edition and what levels and classes they're playing, you could scale enemy damage up, hp down, give enemies better or more save or dies, or some combination.
How about you tell them to have a final 'climactic' battle that finished the game off in the most satisfying way if they really want to go back to your game. You might be tempted to be passive aggressive and say 'I told you so,' but they have probably now realized how hard you worked to make the game fun for them.
That is, if you actually want to DM again. I certainly have more respect for following my DM's shit since I started DMing as well
Throw in a small adventure on top, just to drive it home to the players you're missing out on the story. It doesn't have to be too connected to the story (A run-down inn needing investigating, a bar-fight, you're fishing and you catch a land shark, roll initiative). That's exactly what the adventures at the back of the book are for.
And yeah, if it's something like 3.5, those 6 pages of feats can be intimidating for anyone. Just pick a dozen the party would like and give those as an option. If they had a particular feat in mind, then give it to them.
Seriously, character creation should only take about an hour and a half at most (And that's if you have only 1 rules-book to go off of). That leaves about 1-3 hours of Adventure Time.
>or having a special "let's make characters" session
This is what I do, I'd recommend itl. Gives me time to tailor the campaign to the stupid fucking characters they made too before we start for real the next week.
Character creation takes 1 hour or more?
I can make 4e and AD&D 1/2 characters in below 10 min.
Maybe you should get to know the system a little better
That's call a swingers party user
Not him, but when I do session zero, chargen itself doesn't take hours, what takes forever is
>Well, I want to be a rogue
>But I wanted to be a rogue too
>We can't have a party with 2 rogues and 2 fighter types
>Well, how do you want to decide who plays the healer?
>Some stupid competition
>Loser goes off to sulk
>Help winner make a rogue
>Loser comes and makes a plea as to why he should have the rogue because the winner really would make the better something else.
>Remind someone uninvolved with this that this is going to be a desert based adventure, remember, your pirate themed fighter with a high swim skill isn't appropriate for the setting, and you'll probably never use that skill set.
It's not generating the characters that takes a long time, it's keeping them focused that does.
I could. My players can't. And I'm not going to make characters for all of them. My estimation was based off of 5 players who never pathfinder, having 1 PHB, and most of the time we were goofing off playing Love Letter. Then We played for 2 hours.
This. My group complained about never getting to play in a Good Guy campaign, then built a bunch of murderhobos.
Also having this issue.
Every single campaign without fail 75% of my players have made lolsorandumb characters and refused to engage with the setting at all. None of them are nearly as funny as they think they are. I'm going to try one more time to GM a short, 5 week serious campaign for them.
If they can't even make it through that I'm done trying to GM for them.
What I always did was have everyone send me an email with their top three and after I got their emails, I would email back who got to play what based on that and who played what last time. Worked every time.
>Have game going, it's starting out great
>It progresses and gets considerably darker/more serious.
>Try to warn other people that this was supposed to be a lighter-hearted adventure and if they keep fucking their own characters over they're going to ruin them.
>They ignore me and keep it up.
>End of the game they're upset "That wasn't much fun towards the end. It got too dark."
This.
>lighthearted Shadowrun campaign - fifth element style
>is enjoyed by everyone the first few sessions, great laughs, lots of fun
>"But user, we can't take the BBEG seriously!"
>Ramp up BBEG - let him capture contacts, blackmail and turn friends on the runners
>instant complains about how this is unfair
I like them all, they're my friends, but sometimes they are little spoiled children.
I want a break.
>player's don't keep cellphones on or check them
>so trying to find out if they can do something is a nightmare and a half
>player almost flips table because their actions were stupid
>pollen is giving me a headachd
>I used to be passionately angry about this, but more or less, I've become tired and drained
>feel like I'm in an actual horrible nightmare where everything is bad
>DMing isn't fun anymore, it's just a small part of brain that involves me acting like a retarded storyteller for 4 hours while my friends laugh and maybe have fun
>the escapism of it is that I can't feel bad, so I feel nothing
Have you tried not playing 3.PF?
I call it enthusiastic gaming
Jesus fucking Christ my group.
Meathead A
>One of my founding players, decent guy.
>Closet furry
>Needs to be super edgy in everything.
>Samurai, Barbarians, Ninjas, Dragonborn or Half-Orcs
>Tries to roll half-dragon races
>General Edgelord
>Plays Hearthstone DURING OUR FUCKING SESSIONS and claims "he's totally paying attention"
>Thinks he's good at Hearthstone and Magic
>Isn't
Meathead B
>Also founding member
>Loveable idiot
>He's a retarded puppy that shits on the carpet
>Joke player, min on the min-max scale
>Rolled a bard that literally did nothing so he could come up with slam poetry on the spot
>8/10 would allow again
Meathead C
>Absolute fucking cretin
>Thinks he's funny and he's not
>watches way too much fucking youtube and mlg montage videos
>Also thinks he's good at card games and isn't
>needs to get his fucking life together
>Also rolls joke characters but not funny, it's just pathetic
>Currently a cavalier based around shitty food jokes in PF and a Tac Marine in Deathwwatch
>Way too many fucking GameGrumps jokes in every session.
Meathead D
>Joined the group shortly after it formed
>Girlfriend tries to play but is more of a liability than anything
>Good guy, pretty bro
>Tries to be the support character in a party where everyone wants to be a support character
Girl A
>Ex, weeaboo to the max
>Acts completely useless and helpless
>Whether its incidental or not we will never know
>Decent player, tumblr trash irl
Dudebro
>Newest member
>Min-maxing to the extreme
>Kind of a nuisance but otherwise cool dude
>Typically takes every other session off because he's divorced with joint custody of his kids but that's my only complaint.
Dudebro B
>Narcissistic fuckwit
>Thinks he's better than everyone and has fully admitted it
>Also min-maxer
>Black Templar in our Deathwatch game
>Good player, shit person
Girl B
>Weeaboo but tolerable
>Shit player
>Too much Undertale
>Meathead Bs gf
And this is a current lineup. Still plenty of horror stories older players.
Story time ?
Who about?
Dunno, do you have a favorite ? If not, I think the edgy guy can be a good start.
>8 players
Horror story in and of itself, anything above 3 starts going downhill.
>first time DMing
>use previously established original world forged from pure autism
>get a general idea of campaign, not too much railroading
>start game
>lead the players to quest giver's cave
>player proceeds to murder ambiguously evil questgiver, destroy his life's work, all his notes, and collapse his cave
>"now what"
>"I don't fucking know, you murdered the questgiver and collapsed the storyline, give me a sec"
>"dude I thought he was evil and gonna kill me"
>"he litterally offered you a quest in exchange for rewards"
Ended up coming up with shit on the spot and campaign turned into
>kill BBEG
>take his place
>rule the city
Still had gun though
Low-level or core 4e char creation is easy as pie. Clusterfuck systems like 3.X, MnM, or White Wolf faggortry takes a shit-ton longer.
Dexter is such a little asshole.
Instead of hiding behind your screen, roll in the open like a fucking man.
>Forever GM
>Can't say "no more games unless someone GMs"
How does this work?
It sounds like he's got 2 games running and not all the players are in each game. But I agree, 3 is my ideal player number
>Still had gun though
I hope you didn't use it
38 is my ideal player number. I like getting really intimate gameplay.
>White Wolf
To be fair, the hardest part about it is finding what the fuck you're looking for in the rulebook
wat
Does anyone know why their books are laid out so badly and why the tables of contents are so goddamn useless? Why do they do that? Has anyone who worked for them ever been asked about that? I want to know what their stupid fucking excuse is so I can laugh in their stupid fucking faces.
I just run it like a typical game, but adventurers like bar wenches and brothels. Roomies like to get in character for shit like that, soon my wife picked it up as well and they started to want to roleplay it out. A few sessions later they are giving examples of what they're doing in characters to other players and thanking the DM. Shits pretty bunk desu.
I'll be lucky to have 4 or 5 on game days, due to shit. A couple live in different cities and someone's always missing for some reason.
Not sure, but eventually you learn to use the wiki for most of your character creation. The worst part is that all they would need to do is expand the ToC and fix fucking everything. fucking disgusting
Is it just laziness? Jesus Christ.
if I had to have a favorite, it'd probably be a former member of our group. She (now Xie/Xe/Xir or whatever the fuck the pronouns are) was an SJW of immensely faggotrocious proportion.
>four-ish years ago
>New quest
>I had just quit WoW and was new to DMing
>Small hamlet that Westfall inhabitants would find eerily familiar
>Goblins raid the city for supplies
>Noblebright PC's here to save the day!
>Go to farmer, get basic rundown
>Dank and dark cave, people come in, few come out
>Wife offers supplies that I had noticed PC's were lacking like candles, torches, rope
>"Well, why does he need a wife? Why can't he just have a domestic partner?"
>waitwat
>Goes on a tirade about how weddings were so heteronormative and by not having a gay couple present the quest I was oppressing the community
>I bullshit something about gays being uncommon but not frowned upon because I just want to move on
>Continues to go on about how patriarchal my world is and that I need to check my privilege
>Call a break, go outside, start laughing
>Come back and she's got this smug look like she had just gotten me
>Continue on, never bring it up again
>She always had to bring up things like gay marriage, transgender rights, and matriarchal societies
>One day tell her I don't care about all that in fantasy because none of it is real except on paper
>Loses shit, tumblrages at me
>Doesn't show up for a month
>Comes back and expects me to apologize and grovel for her not being there
>Fucking bard
>Agree to disagree in that a fictional world shouldn't need a social commentary
>Basically tell her to believe whatever she wants and I won't confirm or deny it
Yeah, don't miss her. After high school she went off to feminist school to study how to be a barista before coming back due to PTSD.
>I offer bonus exp or gear for things like character art, heraldry, expanded back story or short stories, family trees, maps etc.
I'm totally stealing this idea for my upcoming Shadowrun game.
That month she didn't show up must have been bliss.
You have no idea. I now get to read my lines without being interrupted about how the nobility should all be hung for being rich white men and heterosexuality is ruining the world.
I covered this in /5eg/ but, my players still don't know how to determine the save DC for their spells and what he can and can't turn into seems to elude the druid.
Also I tried to make some more modern fitting classes for my campaign and eventually gave up updating them because my players expected them to be the exact same as the classic classes.
Wow, all those things that never happened.
I'm not leaning around the screen to read my rolls.
Nah that type of shit is real. I have a friend who was super chill, and "one of the guys" (but hot and with tits), and then she found Tumblr. Now she constantly tells us not to even use the word bitch around her, even when not used to refer to a woman, even though she used to all the time. Claims she had internalized misogyny. Yeah. She also goes full sjw tirades as well. Shit's crazy.
>she constantly tells us not to even use the word bitch around her,
Start talking about female dogs.
We have done that. Several times actually. Dick move, but getting a rise out of her is hilarious.
Sweet zombie Jesus I wish I was making that up. She could have a whole thread dedicated to her but that'd be giving her attention.
I feel you bro. Bitch, whore, and cunt were on our restricted words list. Her and her friend were absolute heresy.
That just makes me glad I never had to deal with people like that in my games. All the women I know and have gamed with (save a wall flower) have been cool.
How do you handle players dicking around with their phones and not paying attention to the game?
I dick around on my phone when they are talking to each other in character.
and I make fun of them extensively when we are just sitting around the table talking shit and going over what characters did between sessions.
I call the session for the night as soon as any player touches their phone. They learned quick.
Hey guys, I have a group of old friends, who all like roleplaying.
They want me to GM a game.
Sadly, due to circumstance, we will only be able to gather every month, perhaps skipping a month once in while. This leaves us with rare game time.
Is there a system where this sort of gaming is more tolerable? Could I 'easen' the downtime by giving the players small tasks, like managing a faction / some npcs, solving mysteries etc ?
Work 3pm to 11 pm and have weird days off. Used to be forever gm, now I can't even GM a game online because my off time sucks even though I have a few good campaign ideas to do.
It's a good idea in theory - and in practice, it can sometimes be a great idea - but in my experience usually that means 'stats first, backstories later.'
What would really work best is figuring out backstories and such together, getting a sense of the campaign, and then telling everyone to make their stats over the next week and approving them before the beginning of the game.
youtube.com
only the best
>Give players all the good reasons to work together
>Without fail one of their characters ALWAYS ends up hating the rest of the party
>This always leads to them failing at some quest
>This leads to more failure because they're not on the same page
>This leads to even more failure as they start splintering
It hurts. I'm not even playing them against each other.
Truly wonderful.
>"dude I thought he was evil and gonna kill me"
Better rationale than my recently started group.
>First action the ranger takes is to take a shot at the nearby neutral shopkeeper's head
>"I got a 19 does that hit?"
>Reasonable pieces of the group exploding at him
>His justification is he's "Chaotic" Good and "Needs information" so it's fine.
>expects me to apologize and grovel for her not being there
>Fucking bard
Too true. She sounds like the type to act before thinking.
Never let anyone else DM ever they are shit at it
>fucking bard
I lost it there
My players don't have time to look at their phones. Last time someone looked at their phone another player managed to sabotage their plans without them noticing.
Nor do I stop for people needing to refill their drinks or go to the loo. I do stop for pizza though, I'm not inhumane.
>The easy answer is 'just replace them' but they're great players when things work out.
Find new players. You sound like a bitch in an abusive relationship.
There will ALWAYS be more players, user.
Dragon fire is magically attracted to cell waves
>giving individual exp
I just can't see the point.
But isn't it so sad that people willingly getting involved in a hobby can't be bothered to do anthing out of line without luring them with instant gratification? That kinda sickens me.
> entire group bar one player have a laugh and joke around
>as a GM I'll let anything fly, you're level 7 pcs now, if you want to make something happen it'll be able to happen, no matter how ridiculous.
>final player annoyed that the game isn't serious enough
We're playing pathfinder, everyone's having fun with it not being too serious, this isn't VtM