Explain mtg to a somone who has 0 expirience in games in 200 words

Angels are watching you jerk it.

Strategic collectible card game. There are 5 base colors that nearly every card has (red, white, blue, green, and black) and each of the colors has its own strength and weaknesses. The goal of a game of magic is to either reduce the opponents life points to 0, reduce their deck to 0, or fill another win condition printed on select cards. Read the rules for exact mechanics. Rare cards are usually better, but that does not mean you can't use the more common ones. With its large history magic has, different "formats" have popped up. A Format is a different way to play the game or a way to limit which cards can and cannot be used. For example, pauper is a commons only format while modern is a format that includes (all but the banned) every card from 8th edition onwards. Cards are sold in booster packs, fat packs, booster boxes, etc. You can also buy specific cards online from private vendors, but beware of fakes which are common in older cards. It's a wonderful game.

It's a card game where you pretend to be a Wizard.

Easy
>Standard
Kike's kikery supreme
>Limited
Kike's kikery supreme
>Legacy
Kike's kikery supreme
>Vintage
Kike's kikery supreme
>EDH
Kike's kikery supreme
>Pauper
Soon to be kike's kikery supreme
>MtG
Kike's kikery supreme

>gets indignant when nobody's praising them for it.
But user, I'm praising them for it!

Which is the kikest?

Vintage, but in this case the kikeiness of the reseller is greater than that of wotc

What's the average price for a vintage deck? What's the most expensive one can get?

Most paper vintage tournaments will allow ten proxies so it's usually on the same order of expense as Legacy.

>Goal
Reduce opponent to 0 life or 0 cards in library.

>Means
Play out CREATURES to HIT your opponent with, or use damaging SPELLS to reduce your opponent to a smoldering pile of ash.

>Deckbuilding
You build a deck of 60 cards - around 20 to 25 of them should be LAND cards, which produce MANA, which is CURRENCY to pay for SPELLS.
Anything that isn't a LAND is a SPELL.

>Play
Shuffle your DECK, decide who gets to choose whether to DRAW FIRST or PLAY FIRST, then DRAW 7. You may play 1 LAND each turn, if you have one in your HAND, and tap/exhaust them to get MANA to pay for SPELLS.
CREATURES have POWER and TOUGHNESS. POWER is how much DAMAGE a creature deals to a player or other creature, while TOUGHNESS is how much DAMAGE is needed to kill the creature.
I.E., a wall creature will have 0 POWER, but high TOUGHNESS.
Some SPELLS do DIRECT DAMAGE to CREATURES or PLAYERS.

Read the cards, think like a programmer, lawyer or autist.

Like Hearthstone, but slightly less shit.

Anyone who is not autistic will not last more than 6 months in such a cancerous community.

>Limited
>Kike's Kikery supreme
Only because you're buying new product every time you play.
Your experience playing Limited will be tied directly to the quality of your pool, which could very well suck. I'm not going to say it's a fair or balanced format.

>There are five colors
>Red (mountains) is based around aggro and direct damage
>Blue (islands) is based around control and interrupts
>Green (Forests) is based around gaining mana and buffing creatures
>Black (Swamps) is based around removing monsters and dealing damage at the cost of your own life.
>White (Plains is based around protections and enchantments
>There is overlap between these colors but most of the cards are made around these concepts.

>Every turn, you put down a land
>Each land can be tapped (turned sideways) to cast a spell
>The cost is in the upper right hand corner.
>A gray circle with a number means that you can use any type of mana to cast it.
>A red/green/white/blue/black circle means that you have to pay one mana that matches that circle's color.
>If you have a gray circle with a diamond inside of it, it means that you have to tap land that's colorless (generates no colored mana).
>Once you've payed the cost, you can cast the spell.

>Creature spells can swing to deal damage or block an opponent's monster's attacks
>Instants can be cast at any point during the round, even during an opponent's turn.
>Enchantments are spells that cause a monster to gain an effect and stay so long as the creature that's attached to it is still on the field.
>Equipments function the same as enchantments except that you can freely equip them to any creature on your side of the field and they stay if the monster is no longer on the field.
>Sorcery spells function the same as enchantments but their effect only lasts for the turn they're played and they're immediately sent to the grave once their effects are done.

>The point of the game is to deal 20 points of damage to an opponent's life.

There, basic MtG info. You're welcome.

I think he wanted to head snide over-simplified jokes about magic.

Well now he learned something.

...

Are you whining about that article on wizards.com, where one creature card turned out to be a transsexual, even though the card itself references that in no way? Are you that insecure about your social standing that a fan fic article threathens you?

...

A children's card game.

>Every turn you put down a land
>doesn't specify where the land comes from
>Each land can be tapped (turned sideways) to cast a spell
>ambiguous phrasing could be interpreted to mean 1 land = one spell
>all enchantments are auras
>sorcery spells function the same as enchantments (which you just described as auras)
could use some work

Wrong place to ask.
Veeky Forums doesn't know shit about Magic. As clearly evidenced.
Why don't you ask us about how GW sucks, or about how Marshalls aren't as good as Kastors, or about elf slaves, or about terrible players we have (that don't exist because none of us actually play tabletop)? That's, uh, that's about all we're good for.
OH! And also being self-loathing about our weebness. That too.

It's a customizable strategic card game with different levels of complexity. At the basest level, it's smashing monsters and spells at each other and seeing who wins. At the highest level, it's complex card and resource manipulation where players attacks are on a conceptual meta level. Strategies cross pollinate between different levels, and the games designers rotate cards of high level play regularly to allow new tactics to emerge.

You buy expensive cards, and the only reason you do this is because you discard them, so essentially a majority of your cards will just be used for nothing.

Then you spend 8 hours arguing out the rules of the game, really there are no rules. The real rule is to just argue and get mad about status effects on the cards and complain about mana or whatever other words sounds right.

Then you find out you missed out on 5 years of your life but still play the game. Once you enter a tournament you enter into the society. You become inducted into the true purpose of this game. It's a CIA created mental drug, made to keep one part of the population locked as with many other projects they have.

Oh also, its super gay and if you play it you suck major dicks and being gay is wrong.

tru fax

Eh, I haven't played MtG in years, I was mostly going off of vague memory, though I'm surprised I remembered as much as I did.

/pol/ pls

...

A game featuring overpriced cardboard...turn things sideways to pay for things or to hit things...

>his only reason for disliking the game is because it includes effects indicated by turning a card sideways
>different turn-things-sideways effects frequently have different functions but work familiarly with each card type and serve to intuitively mark a level of resource exhaustion that has flavorfully been used to indicate such various effects as distraction, jailing, being busy eating another monster, large slow monsters, reloading a crossbow, etc.
>this is a flaw because
>
Faggot.

Standard by a long way. At least in eternal formats your shit won't rotate.

Limited isn't constructed. A low-powered cube made out of your kitchen table group's dregs would still be considered limited. If you draft every weekend, yeah, it's going to add up fast.

You know Hearthstone? It's like that only more complex, more expensive, needs referees due to autistic players, more smelly, played by mostly virgins, and has lower tournament payouts.

Why the fuck white is yellow on that picture.

rock/paper/scissors but the person who spends the most money wins because scissors is super-rare-limited-edition only

>Black = Evil
>Blue = Autism

The fuck am I reading? Black is about obtaining Power at any cost and Blue is the complete opposite of autism, Knowledge.

been playing standard for like 3 months now, so here's my take so far...

You'd better have money, or be smart. And you're not smart.

Fag pls go.

You might try to find a job in the Magic show on yt.

You put out renewable currency and spend them on cards that let you draw cards or destroy cards. Some get to stay on the field longer than others.

What is it with all the dark wings in SOI?

The angels are going White/Red, not White/Black.

Autism is about unability to socialise, no? It's not low intelligence

Spend lots of money on cardboard then get angry at it.

I would argue that blue is really social and political.

Black is all about getting rid of people.

>power at any cost
>somehow not evil

Empty out your wallets, cry and wave your dick around. Walk away as a failure.

>in 200 words

Did you have to take a forklift back to your place?

this can be a substitute casual thread for a minute, right?
i'm building a super cheap deck to play with coworkers on lunch, been kicking around some ideas, but i figure I'll just copy or loosely base it on one or two of these. how would you rate these, how would you change them, are they viable against more expensive decks

>tappedout.net/mtg-decks/mikaeus-extreme-sub-20-budget-edh/
>tappedout.net/mtg-decks/blueblack-eldrazi-attack/
>tappedout.net/mtg-decks/the-very-ungrateful-dead-sub-8/
>tappedout.net/mtg-decks/where-is-your-god-now-infect

Spend far too much money on trading cards.
Play a game with these trading cards, where the most expensive cards almost always win.

Nope, my gf is bi and we took her nerdy friend friend 7/10 to try her chance on some newbie-friendly tournament

pics senpai

lies

Not a flaw, an explanation...
Sorry if it didn't come across that way.

...

>shiny cards

Not nearly shiny enough. It's why I choose YGO over M:tG!