Having Fun at the Bank

Dear Veeky Forums,

Go to a bank and tell them you wanna withdraw all your money in cash and don't want to give a reason. They'll think you're suspicious and might fight you on it but will eventually give it to you, provided you have ID and all that.

Then just play with it. Like put it in a briefcase and larp as a super rich businessman or feel the giant piles of money in your hands.

Then go deposit it again and you can repeat this as you much as you want.

It's so much fucking fun playing with your money and feeling super rich Veeky Forums I'm not kidding you have to try this.

Sounds really great thanx for the tip

When they ask you
>Why do you want your money?
Just say
>I just want it. It's my money so...you know, I figure I'll just play with it for a bit, you know. I want it.

Watch them defend their bank and give you 1000 reasons to stay with them, etc., and question why you want it.

Just tell them you want it, as soon as possible (if it's too much they won't have the cash on hand), for no reason.

no bank would keep enough cash on hand for me to fully liquidate. it would also trigger several audits and investigations which are not fun.

For the first one, you can tell them to get it to you as soon as possible.

But do you not see the problem of being unable to play with your own money without having to be investigated by the government?

CANT CASH OUT FIAT MOMMY

>withdrawing sums excess of $10,000
>ever
Hello IRS

It's your fucking money.

If you made less than a certain threshold this year, you don't have to pay capital gains taxes. Use that to your advantage to get your money out of the fucking banks.

I'm so close to just buying a safe and storing money. Forget the fucking interest.

Why the fuck can't I do things with my money "for no reason" if it's my money?


It's illegal to burn cash too. What the fuck?

>For the first one, you can tell them to get it to you as soon as possible.
I've moved banks before, it's not as fun as you make it sound. if you're suggesting I move around a truck sized pile of cash around, that just sounds stressful.
>But do you not see the problem of being unable to play with your own money without having to be investigated by the government?
they're not stopping me. it's similar to cops setting up breathalyzer stations or whatever.

what country do you live in where you pay capital gains on bank accounts?

>my money is a truck sized pile of cash
Well look at Bill Gates here.
You don't pay capital gains on bank accounts, but the guy just said "Hello IRS".

As a serious question, what does it matter if the IRS gets reports about moving large funds around, if you pay your taxes? Why should that be a concern?

It's your money being banked fractionally. FIAT is a pozzed scam. They won't withdraw it because the money doesn't exist. You'd be lucky if they can give everyone 1/20th of what they own, that's probably the best they can do if they sell all their short term assets.

Cash reserve is about 6% I think.

Should I just get a safe and store my cash in it, withdrawing small amounts via something like an ATM over the next year or years with occasional withdrawals through the bank?

Get something more useful than pieces of paper.

you can't just like, *own* money, man

Gold is too volatile for me to be so comfortable with. Seriously. And so is Bitcoin for the kind of storage I'm talking about.

What's the best thing I can get to preserve my money value in the extremely short AND long term which can't be seized by my government?

1st episode of the Ozarks

>thinking it's your money

Came here to post this. I've literally closed and opened numerous accounts at a variety of banks, they 100% don't give a fuck unless you have at least 2 commas in your checking/savings account

Stop thinking Hollywood is real life

Not talking about closing and opening accounts, I'm talking about cash withdrawals.

And if you get reports sent to the IRS, does it even matter as long as you pay your taxes?

>As a serious question, what does it matter if the IRS gets reports about moving large funds around, if you pay your taxes? Why should that be a concern?
it generally isn't, you'll just be under a lot more scrutiny. I haven't had any problems but supposedly they'll be on your ass for minor fuck ups that they would normally over look.

>It's illegal to burn cash too. What the fuck?
because you're putting it on the tax payer to print more. I doubt it's enforced though

Good goyim, you have nothing to worry about your computer spying on you either if you are doing nothing wrong

Whatever your definition of value is, get something the government can't take from you, that means it's something not really visible to the government. Something off the globalist grid.

Easiest way is to stay far away from a big city, get a small home and live a simple live with a few locals. Hail Odin.

>because you're putting it on the tax payer to print more
I get the logic but it doesn't make sense. If the cash is mine, then I don't have any obligation to uphold your artificial scarcity of it. This wouldn't be true for any other scarce thing in the world.

I'll be living in a foreign country in 2 months, but that's not the point. The government cooperates with foreign governments and can seize your house or any foreign bank accounts.

I'm not asking about something they aren't likely to take from you, but something they physically can't. Cryptocurrency is the only thing I can think of that does that, but it's just not stable enough for me.

That's my problem.

I already inspect all the hardware on my computer, webcams, use VPNs, and do as much I can to fully understand that and keep it secure.