How fun is to play a bard, Veeky Forums?

Yet how comes that:

male bard = rockstar or suave musician. Sharp clothes are a must.

female bard: medieval exotic dancer, the less clothes the better.

Gnomes?

I've had a guy play bard as a Magic Mike-type stud man before.

Same reason this sort of applies in real life.

That being said, not everyone plays their bards those ways all the time. Most female bards I've seen were a lot like the male ones you've described and just as slutty.

Troubadours.
There are written records of troubadour music where said minstrel is essentially trying to either get in a lady's dress, or get her to dump/cuck her husband

Face it dude, chicks digging musicians is as old as the profession itself

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If you're the type of player who likes to talk, interact with NPCs, drive the story, crack jokes, and generally be the face of the party, it's the most fun class to play.

If you're the type of player who is interested primarily in combat, who sits quietly while others take the lead in roleplaying, or who measures their level of enjoyment or sense of self worth by how much damage they do, it is the least fun class to play.

i need sauce on this comic

exhentai.org/g/628602/25efdc9d66/

>Google returns nothing
>can't find an artist signature
>Googling the filename returns nothing
Help a guy out.

Bard is my favorite class in DnD. In 3.5 you could break the game three ways from Sunday with just a few feats and pieces of equipment. That being said, in 3.5 they were still kind of shoehorned into the minstrel role because of bardic music.

Now in 5e they just hand out inspiration, which can really come in the form of anything. My last bard (and one of my favorite characters) was a half-elf mercenary captain. The other PCs were all lieutenants in the company and voted my character in as the leader. He could play instruments and sing, but really only did it as a hobby. He mostly functioned as the face for the company, working out all of the business deals for their contracts, and in combat he either used spells to support the better fighters, or inspired them to defeat their enemies with good old-fashioned tough love.

He also banged mad noble bitches. It comes with the territory.

Gnomes.

[San Se Fang] Wang Er-Xi in case you no sadpanda.

Pretty fun, they're jacks of all trades with a lot of synergy between abilities. Lot's of utility, a good set of control spells and abilities and not half bad in fight. In 3.PF you can have them focus in one area and still be competent in others. They are capable of operating solo while still adding a lot to groups. It's one of the classes that seems best suited for the title of "genuine adventurer."

A class that's easy to make useful without becoming OP.

Some bards I' had the pleasure of playing
>A jolly giant of a man from a foreign land, a slayer and a minstrel and a man of the world. He's dumb as a sack of bricks but has an ungodly bluff which, as far as anyone listening can tell, is a perfectly valid substitute.
>Broken-hearted warrior poet trying to shed his romantic ways to become a nihilistic, womanising scoundrel and failing
>A mad playwright looking for pure art in the darkest depths of the world. He practices a form of weird conceptual dance which can only be described as "eldritch and unquestionably pretentious"

>Face it dude, chicks digging musicians is as old as the profession itself

I am apparently the single exception to this rule - playing guitar in high school made me a 'music nerd' in the eyes of my female classmates

God literally hates me

Have you tried singing to god?

Youre no exception.

Oh. Don't worry. This is a meme many women have where they want you be good at something or possess a certain quality but don't like the time and effort you need to put into said thing. Just ask Veeky Forums about their experience with women outside of one night stands.

You dont really need to play a guitar to get laid. I mean yeah even lil wayne probably gets laid with his guitar "skills"

I want to make a bard for ants joke, but instead, is that fucking YHWH in your filename?

Yes it is.

How is that pic related to the OP? Is that an underage bard who just learned his singing voice can drop panties?

It's Hebrew for "download". You're dealing with an Israeli.

לא מקצועי מצדך, בן אדם. אף פעם אל תראה להם שאתה ישראלי.

...

>ctrl+f Skald
>nothing

Pathfinder may be a shit much of the time but it has the option to be a bard that can also serve as a front line combat tank with self haste as a second level spell.

Seriously, I cannot get over how fun it is to basically be rap viking and school all the motherfuckers verbally while beating their asses physically.

ITT: Veeky Forums does not viking bard. Veeky Forums is not awaited in Valhalla.

The bard's the one with blue hair.

Where is this from?

I want to play a bard as my next character but my DM wants me to actually sing when I give inspiration.

fuck that desu any alternatives?

Dance or play an instrument.

Use oratory and make inspiring speeches. Or just go with comedy and use bad puns and stuff.

Practice this, and don't stop when your DM tells you to stop.
youtube.com/watch?v=2uf1lEawgTE

Fucking source already god dammit

This used to be my thing with my dwarven bard, being really bad at performing comedy and telling bad puns. The campaign only lasted one session, but the one time I rolled to perform comedy, I rolled a 1.

paulgq.deviantart.com/

Here you go gents, source for OP pic, since OP is too much of a fucking faggot to provide it.

What's the tabletop RPG scene like in israel?

Not sure, but it's pretty common in Palestine.

'course, the jews will mortar strike your house if they find out you have an RPG. :^)

Those tits are waaay too oval-shaped. wouldnttouch/10

Our bard was a socially inept bagpiping retard.

He did however come up with the odd scheme which was useful.

I know our bard seemed to enjoy it, but then again he is also a socially inept retard, can't play the pipes though.

>I miss those idiots.

>incite revolutions and be a Robespierre that your fantasy kingdoms needs, but doesn't deserve
>try to be THE VERY BEST musician in the country, and make it big with your rag-tag heavy metal band
>be a la-la homo prancing man that dresses like a noble posh and is constantly invited to play violin on private aristocrat parties
Bards can have very versatile motivations and characters. There is no reason not to be a bard.

really? google worked just fine for me.
paulgq.deviantart.com/art/NP-05-16-16-609468859

GIS is inconsistent, I also got nothing on my search.

>'course, the jews will mortar strike your house if they find out you have an RPG. :^)

dumb lewdposter

I thought we had all the lewdposters over in there thread

Thats what you get for being a demi human, the real men will turn you to dust.

Scared purityfag.

Very fun to play bard--
Rapping-in-couplets halfling was completely worth it, gifting my party sufficient determination and keks to win every battle

What is it called?

I played a human fighter, my bro played a halfling bard. We would both rap, hyping my attacks, intimidating our opponents with sick burns and debuff-disses. Anyone fucked with Large, bard would make sure they were the laughingstock of the town. Anyone fucked with Shorty, I'd throw them into the piranha lake.

The memory of the broship between those characters brings a tear to my eye.

...

>A mad playwright looking for pure art in the darkest depths of the world. He practices a form of weird conceptual dance which can only be described as "eldritch and unquestionably pretentious"

I like you.

Bards are a lot of fun.

>decent fighters
>decent casters
>fun class abilities

I'm playing a female half-orc bard in 5e right now.

>18 Cha
>20 Str

BARD SMASH

Are you this stupid?

The only good NTR doujin.

friendly reminder

"No can do, I can't live without your dick now" gets me every time.

My interpretation, the Bard is the blue-haired catboy, and he has just made himself BEST WINGMAN EVER for the little white-haired dude.

Chicks fucking love petite, pink/green/blue haired, speaking with small woodland critters, naturally magical, good relations with fey having, random, wacky tinker gnomes.

I saw an NTR doujin I almost liked and it ended with the protagonist having her mouth barfed in, WTF? "My first kiss tasted of bauxite and stomach acids"

for some reason there's a meme that in straight shota the woman has to have disproportionate, huge saggy tits

>for some reason there's a meme that in straight shota the woman has to have disproportionate, huge saggy tits

Part of the appeal is the age difference. Having saggier tits tends to suggest that the woman is older.

>Oh. Don't worry. This is a meme many women have where they want you be good at something or possess a certain quality but don't like the time and effort you need to put into said thing. Just ask Veeky Forums about their experience with women outside of one night stands.

Guys are the same way when it comes to chicks and getting dressed up. Hate all the shopping, makeup, hair styling appointments, etc, and claim they prefer a woman who doesn't wear makeup.

Yeah I know why it occurs, I just am not thrilled by it. Seems the best source for non saggy titted female characters in /ss/ scenarios is fanfic parody stuff.

So how many bards are in this image?
>1
We've definitely got a bard crossdressing to cheat with another man's wife.
>2
I'm pretty sure that fucking the crossdressing bard to establish dominance is how 90% of bardic fights work. So he's definitely a bard too.
>3
Can't live without dick?
Seems a little bit too happy that her husband is about to make the crossdressing bard a proper woman?
Yup, she's probably a bard too.

It's just bards all the way down. And this is why I'm starting to become convinced that bard isn't a class. It's an alignment. All bards are automatically BARD on the alignment scale but not being a bard by class does not necessarily meaning not being of bardic alignment.

Ideally men will take naturally beautiful woman over artificially beautiful woman.
But artificially beautiful woman still beats ugly woman by a mile.
The two are not mutually exclusive.

>Yeah I know why it occurs, I just am not thrilled by it. Seems the best source for non saggy titted female characters in /ss/ scenarios is fanfic parody stuff.

Then it's not "for some reason", which is used to convey that the reason is unknown.

I'd say the best bet is big sister and upperclassman stuff, though. Teenagers don't rarely get the saggy tits treatment.

And ideally, women will take guys who are more naturally talented/capable over a guy who has to spend more time training/practicing.

Ideally they would want one that has both natural talent and practice to support it. Talent is nothing if person is lazy slob.

>Ideally they would want one that has both natural talent and practice to support it. Talent is nothing if person is lazy slob.

And beauty is nothing if you're a lazy slob.

Being a slob will ruin the beauty, sure.
Being lazy won't.

CHA?

>Being lazy won't.

Being a slob requires you, by definition, to be lazy.

You don't know high energy slobs? You can be a hard working super high energy guy who lives literally in a pile of his own trash.

>Being a slob requires you, by definition, to be lazy.
Yes, but being lazy doesn't automatically make you slob.

I like it.

Gnomes? Please, I would rather a halfling than a gnome because of short stack fetish, but gnomes are icky to me

Magic Mike was a beast of a man, a real show pony

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He probably got sad panda'd.

all i can see is a sad panda

The name of the thing has already been mentioned in this very thread, and the post is linked to the post with the image.

Chances are high that user was dropped on the head as a child

welcome to Veeky Forums

that's more of "welcome do internet", sad panda phenomenon isn't exclusive to Veeky Forums

>sad panda phenomenon isn't exclusive to Veeky Forums

Whiny offsite shitters on /v/ certainly act like it is.

Very normal. D&D/PF reins supreme with a few Warhammer players scattered about. My friends and I actually prefer to rule play in English since lets face it, having a non euro language in most settings ruins the vibe.
Example: "Bishvil ha Keisar !" (For the Emperor !)