What do Guardsmen

A. 90% of the Imperium has no idea what Slaanesh worship fucking is.

B. You're retarded

C. Regular masturbation is actually fucking healthy, and holding it in would be more damaging overall.

D. Wanted to really clue you into the retarded thing, just making sure. Regular reinforcement and all.

E. Slaanesh worship is about excess, no matter what it is. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex any more than it has to do with anything else. A guardsmen could just as easily fall from refusing to masturbate because he enjoys how it feels, and then begins to become obsessed with breaking his record, with abstaining far beyond what would be considered rational.

E. You're tree retarded. Just gotta get this one in.

Why the fuck did they discontinue Kasrkin? Do you think they will ever bring them back? Or are we doomed with fucking Scions?

We can only hope user

>why
metal

>bring them back?
the long rumored veteran kit might scratch that itch, but I doubt they'll bring kasrkin back specifically

Just buy a set of kasrkin if you like them so much. It's not like you'll usually run too many storm troopers in a guard army.

Damn those models look nice I hope they'll release some new Vostroyans like picrelated

Do they have good contraceptives in 40k? Because knowing the setting's hardon for shit sucking the guys high on the ladder probably spaz out at the idea of unwanted pregnancies and just drug everyone's food so no one can get a boner.

The emperor protects

...

Oh god what?

>eat
Ignore corpse starch edge lords. Your average guardsman is supplied with rations consisting of produce from one of the many agri worlds of the Imperium. The food is preserved to last a long time and likely lacking in taste and presentation, but is appropriately nutritious enough to keep a hard working soldier going. Likely the variety of what they are supplied with is somewhat regional. As much as the Imperium likes standardization, certain planets and cultures are just better suited to producing specific foodstuff. From the relatively familiar grox burgers or the humble protein bar to the regional and pungent rider's cheese, there is variance enough in the answer to make it hard to define.

>drink
Water to stay alive and booze to stay sane. I again doubt your average guard is very picky if its potable and effective.

>do
Well they die quite a bit, but most of them get a few good hits in before that. Remember, being a guardsman means you're still not the shitpile that is a PDF enforcer.

>masturbate to
I'd imagine there is plenty of sanctioned material for the fine folk of the IG. Though, really, wasting time with that when they could be making more guards sounds like slacking in their service to the throne.

how do you think they get more guardsmen?

I think you have it backwards, considering the constant state of warfare that mankind is engaged in, pregnancy would be highly encouraged or possibly even mandated.

>eat
The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer
>drink
The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer
>do
The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer
>masterbate to
The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer

>tfw I don't have these

The Commissariat is three blocks down

They even got rid of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers. Truly, a dark hour for the Imperium. We'll never get those stupidly awesome goggley masks again.

I've got the Uplifting Primer. Helped my players get into the spirit of things for an Only War campaign.

Moar.

>eat
Nutrient paste

>drink
Nutrient fluid

>do
Praise the Emperor

>masterbate to
Sororitas nudes

>eat
Mostly rations, though they'll probably live off what they can comandeer or hunt in warzones as well so they don't run out of supplies. Officers probably get real food shipped in.

>drink
Water, probably metallic-tasting stuff with chemicals in it. I know the Vostroyans also drink rahzvod, and I wouldn't be surprised if cheap amasec was widely available because it has less chance of carrying infection or going bad. Top brass will definitely have at least moderately good amasec.

>do
Bet on shooting cans, flirt with the ladies, repair vehicles, play cards, banter, pray, fiddle with their weapons.

>masturbate to
Porn, if they can get it. Maybe they actually have sex.

This image is retarded and weeb as hell
Seriously, what do the Japanese have against sanity.
clearly they're virgins who don't have a clue

I should just buy some plain Cadians with the hazardous environment conversions and GS some knee and shin pads.

The Japs have weird porn laws. Why do you think they always go for tentacles? You don't have to censor a tentacle.

>Heretic Photos
Best one

I think he's mostly referencing the ridiculous dialog more than anything else.

can you worship The Emperor so intensely that you actually fall to Slaneesh?

Why do you think Slaanesh's pet legion call themselves the Emperor's Children?

It would very depending on where they come from.
For instance the answer to all four point for the death Corp of Krieg are:
>lasgun
>lasgun
>build trenches
>lasguns or trenches

I wonder what mobilized infantry do, or rough riders, especially if they're often on the move.

>Eat
Corpse starch is an emergency food for when nothing else is available. You'll see Regimental kitchens and dining halls available, while rations are for periods of time where those aren't available. The food set up is a lot like the modern day military, just with a lot more shit you've gotta be careful about so you don't cause systemic shock from some odd food being sent to a Regiment that's never had it or some shit.

>Drink
Water, mainly. You'll have some Regiments were some Guardsmen will brew their own alcohols, or they'll purchase some if it is available. Fruit juices are also canon, but they're going to be less common.

>Do
It depends on the Regiment. Some might play sports for team building, some might just work overtime, others might just sit around and play cards while pulling watch. If you can think of it, a Guardsman has done it on his off-time. They just have to be careful about destructive/illegal shit, or they're up on the Commissar's Judgement.

>Fap material
Sanctioned porno-slates are canon, I believe. It is also canon that each Regiment has a large number of 'support personnel' that follow them around. So, Imperium mandated porn, whores, and your fellow Guards(wo)men.

i feel the warp overtaking me... it is a good pain.

People forget that camp followers are a thing. In the Gaunt books there were plenty of hookers and random people or family of the guardsmen about who basically lived on the massive transport ships that moved the Tanith/Virvenhivers from one battlefiled to the next.

Well not only are the Gaunt's Ghosts a bit of a special case, but that hasn't been supported by other pieces of canon as far as I know.

The only thing that definitely supports it is the old Whiteshield fluff, which mentions that they can be sons of guardsmen, but that doesn't necessarily mean camp followers.

>got rid of
just like they "got rid of" the airborne stormtroopers when the bedford stormtroopers came out?

That mask is even in the new kit. I use it for my special weapon troopers.

>that image

You're going to have to enlighten me - what new kit? Last I saw, Tempesteus Scions had different styles of masks.

What's in the bowl, senpai?

Some dude converted them with Scion legs, cadian flak chests and cadian environment helmets. Could try that.

>Last I saw, Tempesteus Scions had different styles of masks.
And one of them has a rebreather plug instead of the usual hockey-mask faceplate.

But even then, no googly eyes. And we'll never get that hood or helmet thing back.

>no googly eyes
they're lacking the single targeter on one eye, but otherwise the eyepieces are quite similar

>hood or helmet thing
it's a visor, though I don't think they've ever shown it down in the artwork. If I were to hazard a guess as to its purpose, probably some kind of sun-visor, like the ones you see on fighter pilots

Shit changes, man. I can't say I was too happy when cadians started wearing football pads either.

>eat
Freeze-dried grox and rice powder

>drink
amaseq

>do
complain, avoid the worse comissars, collect xeno trophies in secret, pray, gamble with the ratlings

>masterbate to
The God-Emperor

Would this type of soldier be passed off as a guardsmen? So long as you give him/her a lasgun?

What do Necrons

>eat

>drink

>do

>masterbate to

in their 'free' time?

speak via text-to-speech-devices
>SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI

>robot
>robot
>hibernate
>robot

Ayy it's that zombie game i played some years ago

>eat
Dirt while training. Protein slabs and vegetable matter during off-hours or when they are feeling festive.

>drink
Depends on where they are. On a transport ship? Re-purified water, i.e their own piss that has gone through some filters. On a world? Whatever the world offers. I would guess they drink water, or some kind of alcohol when the Commissar isnt watching.

>do
Practice, clean their kit, sleep, play ball, play cards, go whoring.

>masturbate to
...

>>SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI

Would anyone care explain this joke? I don't get it.

What kind of guardsmen ? the ones of the front or the ones in garrison ?

>That's right guardsman, eat your soup. The commisar prepared it with all her love specifically for you. Who cares about you and gives you a healthy diet?
>Mphmfgrgrg-
>I can't hear you guardsman. Whose soup is delicious and contains plenty of nutrients.
>Y-Your soup does ma'am! It's so delicious I can't stop eating it!
>That's right. Now if I catch the rest of you maggots ever trying to dump it out the window again I'll be sure to add some extra ingredients to the next one.

Guess its based on the regiment, but based on my experience in the army
>eat
Food stolen from the locals
>drink
water or something different if you get to stole that
>do
there is not free time
>masturbate
cant barely speak to each other because of the fear of getting denounced to a commissar for the silliest thing, let alone fapping

I recognise that chest hair!

SOI SOI SOI, when used in a text-to-speech device, sounds like helicopter blades.

I love anything that humanises Marines a little more.

I wonder if some marines actually take the time to bro up with guards during campaigns, and how do they do depending on chapters.

Jesus christ what fucking army were you in?

I can tell English isn't your first language

...

In windows XP and previous, the microsoft Sam text to speech voice would mispronounce Soy or Soi as Swah.

So typing Soy Soy Soy Soy Soy Soy Soy Soy

Would play as Swah Swah Swah Swah Swah Swah Swah Swah

This noise was similar to helicopter blades (sort of), and was sometimes referred to as the ROFLcopter.

youtu.be/3B0joNsmWUQ

Salamanders, I think. Maybe the Yiffs, too.

The primer is absolutely terrible material for a 40k rp, because its a joke book.

Unless you're running a meme game with that and a half baked knowledge of Veeky Forums memes, like every only war game I've been a part of.

>40k is super cereal guise

During warfare? In like... a city siege? In a trench?