Mecha Space Pirate Quest IXX

>A-Grade: 1d10+16 for all skill rolls
>[Two-Handed] Swordfish Lance: (WA +1, 12K, AP, Quick, 47 CP, 14 Spaces, 6 tons)

Damn, we are outclassed. 12K and AP. Wong what does quick mean? Is it an extra attack like our fist?

We need to get that auto parry or our cape needs to be one big attack. Our fists are already enough to drop volumes of damage. Just we can't go through armour well with only 6K and AP.

Maybe a drive powered by autism?

Yes. Using the Swordfish Lance, you can make two attacks per Action the same as the Armored Thruster Fist. However, unlike the Knuckle Kaiser, which uses two fists, the King Swordfish can only carry the one Swordfish Lance, giving it half the potential number of attacks despite its high damage.

>can't go through armor well

I'm pretty sure the Tarrasque would disagree.

It's what happens when Finnish people drink too much.

Apparently it's an propulsion system used by some ship in Gunbuster that works by giving physics the finger and propels itself by rewriting the laws of physics with around itself with nothing more than really advanced math.

It also causes causality to break down so it's guided by psykers and cyborg dolphins what the shit am I reading.

So...it IS a drive powered by autism

...

YOU ARE: Ensign Heinrich “Caesar” Merrow (Age 16)

Attractiveness: 7
Body Type: 7
Cool: 10 [5 normally] (Fast Talk & Persuasion +1)
Empathy: 6
Intelligence: 10
[Education]: +3
Luck: 8
Movement Allowance: 6
Reflexes: 10 (Dodge & Escape 5, Mecha Fighting +4 Mecha Melee +6, Mecha Pilot +6, Melee 5, Motorcycle +1, Stealth +1, Zero-G +1)
Technical Ability: 7

Rookie Bonus: Anime Hero

Luck Points 8 (refreshes at end of session), Maneuver Pool 1 (refreshes at end of combat, otherwise identical to Luck)

As you may notice, Heinrich is not as strong as Roarke. Far from it. you're a decade younger, despite your powerful mech, and still a rookie. Your Cool's actual value is 10, but it only emerges at certain times by this point, and normally you only have Cool 5, making you somewhat bad of dealing with other people outside of video games and the holonet. The one thing you are superbly good at is mecha combat, partially a result of the excellent genes inherited from your father, the legendary ace Rudolph Merrow of Europa, and partially because you play more simgames than could conceivably be healthy. Most of your paycheck goes to the website samubuy.holo, despite the fact that you're fairly sure it's owned and run by space pirates, because the owner has restored and emulated many fine games from the past. You have a particular passion for extremely difficult games, such as danmaku-types, hack-and-slash, and Battletoads.

As for your mech, that's a bit of a story. Your father is THE Ace of Aces from the Great Sidereal War. He and Floyd Beck were the original mecha heroes, the two Jovian legends who killed more Green Men than anyone else. In the nearly thirty years since the War, however, Rudolph Merrow hasn't set foot inside a mech. As his only son, he didn't want you to become a pilot either.

No, it's a drive powered by a mind which has imbibed one too many Red Comet energy drinks in the last few hours.

>You have a particular passion for extremely difficult games, such as danmaku-types, hack-and-slash, and Battletoads.
So we're not human. We're a monster.

What, no roguelikes or Dark Souls?

Dark Souls is a hack-and-slash game. If it's a difficult game, you've probably played it and beaten it at least once.

He did say 'such as', so it's likely an incomplete list.

If he actually enjoys battletoads, all those other games would be like preschool for him.

Instead, he wanted you to become a politician, a relatively safe and honorable profession replete with honest kickbacks and a comfortable desk. It's nearly impossible to become a Jovian politician without a UJCIDF Academy education, however, so with the help of private tutors and sim-lessons you were fasttracked through the courses, giving you the equivalent of a college education at the age of sixteen. This is possible because you are, legitimately, a genius. Like most well-bred Jovians, you've also taken fencing lessons, and are viewed as quite talented.

As a result of your high birth and talent, you were exposed to high society and several attempts at an arranged marriage from a young age. All of which failed miserably. Either you hated the girls for being useless flowers, they hated you for being an introvert, or they blatantly just wanted to be married to the Merrow family bank accounts and reputation. Sometimes, you think about giving up on 3D love altogether, but you aren't quite ready to embrace the ways of the Ancient Home-Dwelling Sages, the Otaku you've heard about on the literature section of samubuy.holo. You don't trust your father's advice on women. Both he and Floyd Beck loved the pilot of NaNa-01, and after the tragedy resulting from NaNa-01's nanobots running rampant and consuming an entire colony into itself, forcing them to put her and her mech down, he never really got over her or the eventual loss of his best friend. He married, of course, that's how you came to exist, but the marriage didn't last and you don't really know your mother besides the occasional letter she sends out of what you presume is guilt.

As stated earlier, your father didn't want you to become a pilot and forbade you from joining the UJCIDF. Seeing few other options besides living in your room and eventually being married off, you ran away and joined the army.

[Continued]

So meeting yoritomo would be really bad for this guy's mental health is what you're saying.

Oh god. This kid's a pretentious moron.

Oda would love him!

But I just want to punch his mouth parts.

He better get good fast or he's gonna get his shit pushed in when he fights Roarke

He seems to be sort of the opposite of a moron.

He's the equivalent of 8 WIS.

Eh? He only has 3 less bonus on mech rolls. And his mech is crazy dangerous.

He doesn't seem that bad. A bit awkward maybe but not an insensible person.

>tfw a kid who has had apparently extensive formal training with fencing has less prowess at his form of non-mech combat than a street rat who just punched things a lot

sounds like this kid could use a cool older brother type character

3 Less is alot in this universe. It's the difference of a new ace and a system known pilot.

What does body type mean?

I get attractiveness why doesn't Roarke have 10 for that?

To be fair he is 16 while we are like 26.

Your father suspected you would do this, of course, and made several very believable threats to cut you out of the will, so you took your inheritance from him directly. King Swordfish, his old mech, was rotting in a barn on your land when you stole it. It's not as if he had bothered to look in there in decades or anything, you'd be surprised if he even knew it was gone. Many of the systems were degraded and nonfunctional, but the frame itself is strong. Furthermore, when Colonel Stern saw that you had applied to the UJCIDF he immediately recruited you for SOUL instead of the extrasystem division, meaning that the very best technicians have had time to repair and restore your mech, even adding a ranged weapon at your request and building the Anemone system for you. You dislike guns outside of video games, finding them difficult to aim, but a ranged weapon with effectively infinite ammo that can be aimed via a joystick in your cockpit is much more your style.

As it stands, you are the substitute pilot for Squad A in Corporal Samantha Blanchett's absence, and are being groomed for an officer's position. Which is a good thing, because it will allow you to fund your hobbies even more. You're quite well informed when it comes to pirates and mecha, you have an (unsigned) Red Siren poster and a model of the Osano-Wo in your quarters aboard the Cincinnatus, although you keep them in the closet where the brass won't see them during inspections.

The only question is, are you ready to proceed?

Shrug. It's 30% less on mech rolls in actual combat. That's a lot, but it's certainly not insurmountable. And he only needs to get one shot in to kill us.

It feels like were gonna end up stealing all of the soul pilots besides Jesus at this point

Being a cool guy doesn't make you good looking.

Yeah but he's a genius. He should pick it up super fast.

Being smart wont make your body go through puberty faster.

>that can be aimed via joystick
>not aiming guns with the infinitely superior mouse
HERESY!

Body Type is effectively Constitution. I didn't name it, and thought it was silly at first too.

Roarke doesn't have it at 10 because he melts panties by being cooler than humanly possible rather than just by being inhumanly perfect-looking. He definitely stands out in a crowd, though...but just being a pretty face isn't enough to make someone like Red Siren carry a torch for you.

Being a grown man and having skill are two very different things.

I guess. I wonder who is filling in for zangief? and also who the third man in the squad is.
Being a grown man instead of a child directly effects your ability to fight. Never mind being tutored is different to going out and fencing people for a living.

Why does this kid have such high CON then? Is he not a pudgy layabout? Huh.

A mouse is hard to use in mecha combat.

Roarke is also a veteran Harpy pilot. You get gud fast or you don't survive long as a Harpy Pilot.

>Roarke is also a veteran Harpy pilot. You get gud fast or you don't survive long as a Harpy Pilot.

But that isn't out of mech skills.

He is a military ace pilot dude.

>You're quite well informed when it comes to pirates and mecha, you have an (unsigned) Red Siren poster and a model of the Osano-Wo in your quarters aboard the Cincinnatus, although you keep them in the closet where the brass won't see them during inspections.

baka desu senpai. No Starwind memorabilia? Come on.

>The only question is, are you ready to proceed?

Of course!

We probably don't have any merch yet besides the body pillows and I doubt Clemmy would want to share

>Anemone system
So like the The End?

I'm sure there is some sort of "Kestrel style" sunglasses out there that are smaller and less opaque than the ones we wear.

we need to get signed that red siren poster.

She can sign it when we bring her in.

Why would we get this kid we don't know a signed copy of Red Siren's poster?

Because we are him now.

You take off the simgame helmet and dig your knuckles into your temples until the sparks clear from your eyes. Half of a gourmet meal bar, sugar cookie dough flavor, is dangling from your mouth. You've been playing video games in your underwear since you woke up, roughly around noon, and your limbs are starting to get stiff...but it was worth it. You defended your 200-consecutive-victory streak today against MilesHighClub, Thorshammer, and MoBroFoSho with only a pair of Cincinnatus support personnel for teammates. A glorious, glorious victory that earned you some rather vicious hatemail from MilesHighClub.

On the other hand, it's better than going on GYchan and dealing with that one femanon shitposter who claims she can make better armor than the UJCIDF. Ha! What a troll!

As much as you'd like to stay indoors and screw around on the holonet all day, though, you know that getting at least some exercise is needed to maintain your conditioning for combat (and vidya). You've been excused from normal patrol rotations on account of the fact that your Squad Leader (although you outrank him on paper as an officer, since he's an NCO) has been arrested for collusion with space pirates. In fact, you're pretty sure that's why the Jaburo is coming to join the Cincinnatus at California Station, to pick him up. This makes you worry, but then again, you're always worrying about one thing or another. If your Squad goes belly-up before you even get to go on a single mission...you can't honestly say you'd be surprised. It's a shame, though, word around the mechbay is that Naomi Heim, who has been in hospital recovering from an injury for some time, is quite cute and you wanted to at least see her once. And, y'know, maybe talk to her. Maybe. If you can stop from spilling spaghetti everywhere.

With a final grunt, you devour the rest of your meal bar, send a scathing response to MilesHighClub about why sniping is for pussies, and get dressed.

[Continued]

The Knuckle Kaiser needs a lot more thrusters on it. We gotta go fast.

Gotta play the character as if he was our main guy

Oh god, his only interactions online revolve around us and our friends.

So were all agreed to go talk to Clemmy as soon as we can

he's gonna make a great addition to roarke's crew once we find him, beat him to a pulp and show him why a pirate lifestyle is way better than a militar one.

Well the kid sounds pretty alright, not a model 'oh yeah i wanna be him' alright, but has alot of potential to grow on us....like a cute mascot...or a flesh eating bacteria....

>introduced to Miles, he says some stupid shit about sniping

>all hell breaks lose as the realization kicks in

>being a filthy pirate
>ever
Only thing they are good for are is emulating old games.

...

Clean underwear, clean socks, nearly luminescently white pants, high black boots that gleam like obsidian, a cyan ensign's shirt trimmed in gold with brass buttons and gold epaulets on the shoulders. Oh, right, and your sword, too. You're not a proper soldier without your sword. It's 'ceremonial', which means it isn't one of the ridiculously lethal monofilament blades certain experts carry, but it's still a fully functional blade made of proper metal and quite capable of cutting someone.

You comb your hair, glare at it in the mirror, comb it in a slightly different way, wet it down with water, finally get it looking satisfactory, and depart from your dimly-lit cave. Outside, the flourescent lights of the Cincinnatus' hallway glow with a momentarily too-bright light. You wear glasses, although you could always get surgery to improve your vision the idea of someone messing with your eyes using a laser gives you the jeebies...and besides, your dad was a perfectly good ace-of-aces and he has glasses.

You have a few options, now, since you're at loose ends.

>[Go to the mech bay and check on the King Swordfish and your mechanic, Triple-C]
>[Go for a walk outdoors on California Station]

>MoBroFoSho
Fucking Mohammad.

There are other people in Heinrich's online life, but those are the ones you, the players, would recognize.

By the way, poor Mohammed didn't choose that handle for himself, he made the mistake of letting Miles choose it out of Martian deference to a commanding officer.

>>[Go to the mech bay and check on the King Swordfish and your mechanic, Triple-C]

At least the sword is pretty.

>[Go for a walk outdoors on California Station]

Go outside you bum.

>[Go to the mech bay and check on the King Swordfish and your mechanic, Triple-C]

>[Go for a walk outdoors on California Station]
Time to bum around

>Naomi Heim, who has been in hospital recovering from an injury for some time,

Clemmy's work. Lets NTR Jesus. Let's pay her a visit. and finally learn why 3D can sometimes be as good as 2D.

Nah save that for Roarke, Sam said she was gonna try and get her brother and Naomi to jump ship

That's actually a different girl. If you want to see her, the mech bay is a pretty good place to start.

Alright switching to mech bay then

>[Go to the mech bay and check on the King Swordfish and your mechanic, Triple-C]
Mech bay it is. Would any of the higher up engineers know anything about the military research station at Suleiman 1? As a melee maniac we should be idolizing Roarke,even a little, right?

We would probably like oda more seeing as he is closer to our fighting style.

You kind of want to go shopping. There's an up-and-coming pirate captain whose videos you've seen on the holonet a few dozen times (at least) since he made his debut and since you saw the briefing video of him defeating Captain Oda your collection just hasn't felt complete without some Iron Kestrels paraphernalia.

That vid of him beating the Harpy swarm was hella rad, too. You think his machine isn't quite as good as yours, but you also suspect he's had time to upgrade since. According to your notes, Admiral Starwind is a boxer and you don't know of many boxers who fight with only one fist.

Still, that involves artificial sunlight, fresh air, and not hanging out with your mechanic and your glorious King Swordfish Mk. II. You're particularly proud of the paint scheme, which you personally selected and insisted on. Camouflage isn't particularly useful for avoiding notice in space, at least not usually, but this design breaks up the Swordfish's outline and combined with the fact that you have (as far as you know) the fastest mech currently in the Cincinnatus' hangars it will hopefully unbalance opponents long enough for you to take them apart with your giant drill lance.

You'll need it if you ever want to beat Roarke Starwind. You're completely confident in your machine, but much less so in your own abilities. The strongest mech in the world isn't worth shit if the pilot isn't good enough to go toe-to-toe with his opponent.

[Continued]

Oda is a gunner more than a melee enthusiast. We don't even have any guns. Also he uses dual swords instead of a big two hander.

I thought oda was more about his two swords than his gun. Shoot guys till he gets close and then cut them apart. He also has more points in melee.

Also we have some sort of drone thing for range.

I got a feeling this thread is gonna end with the souls being sent to bring us in luckily Clemmy will probably betray them if we can talk to her

You make your way down the hall and to a lift, pausing to smile at a cute female officer who sniffs and looks the other way. W-well...that's okay, that happens sometimes.

You awkwardly fiddle with your PC until she gets off, then fiddle less awkwardly with your PC until the lift takes you down to the Cincinnatus' huge mech bays, each of which is big enough to swallow the complement of the average pirate crew's vessel.

Triple-C, your mechanic, is waiting there for you. Out of all the cool people you know, he's been cooler to you than most. Cassius Cosimo Cavalier...when you asked if it was his real name once he laughed and said 'only 3/4 of it'...is one of Bucephalus Heavy Industries' best mech experts, and the first person Bucephalus sent to work on the SOUL mecha. Initially, it was all Bahamutcorp engineers, and since King Swordfish is THE Bahamutcorp mech they tried to shut him out of working on it, but he agreed to take no credit and leave his name entirely off the project in exchange for the chance to help you get it working right, for which you are extremely grateful. You're not sure why someone of his caliber would bother, but when you asked he said he was looking for someone.

Right now, he's arguing with some kid in the same kind of uniform you're wearing. The kid is gesturing angrily at your mech.

[Continued]

She wants us to join them not the other way round.

>implying she wont capture us so she can visit us in the cells whenever she wants.

We can convince her im sure of it

I don't think Clemmy will betray SOUL so easily. She's an upright girl who definitely wants to do good. We would have to persuade her that SOUL is doing bad things and the Iron Kestrels are actually making a difference in the system. Hopefully once she finds out the truth about the Doc and little Athena we will have some leverage to work with.

Aha! So the kid does have a good head on his shoulders!

How's about shut the fuck up with this bullshit. I'd rather have Sleepy bitching about samefagging and waifus the listen to you about Clemmy.

You ever read that book about the nurse who finds a writer she is a huge fan of after a car crash and takes him home? And then ties him up and forces him to write for her?
Yeah.

This fucker better not touch our mech. We customized that shit with our power gaming knowledge. No casual knows better than you on how to play to win.

> Cassius Cosimo Cavalier
FUCK Thats bad ass.

He is probably the fucker who put our customized shit on the mech user.

Watch it's Jesus and he's arguing about being allowed to use it.

Your ass is bleeding so hard I think I got some of the blood on me from here.

Disregard this I wasnt paying attention.

Ya that is a possibility but i'm trying to be positive about this, worse comes to worse we have to fight her then we can capture her