It's a Red dragon encounter

...

Yo yo, I'm a dragon and I'm here to say
That I'm redder than the rouge of my soubriquet
And my flame is the second hottest thing in this cave,
After my rhymes that the dragonborn bitches all crave

Now the cleric in your party is a humongous faggot,
Chain shirt hanging so low his shitty Strength score drags it
And your rogue is a slut, I saw her suck off some orcs,
She sticks those green goblin goodies in like potion bottle corks!

Your fighter's a wimp who runs away from a fight,
The biggest monster he's slain was his own mother last night
And the bard might as well be wearing nothing but pink,
I bet he took the extra feat you get from being a twink

Now I've schooled you all in ways that must have seemed quite parental
Since the way your dads buttfucked you as kids is why you're all mental
Crazy enough to come and face the Reptilianaire,
Let alone the fact that you all came in my lair
Let me tell you if you thought a dragon dildo would sting,
pull your kilts up and get ready for the real live thing

Don't you mean youtube.com/watch?v=KSgoefp8Ol0

>starting your rap with "...and i'm here to say"

what is this 1983. weak

>Player: ''I perceive the dragon''
>DM:''You notice he isn't a rapper"

>Yo yo, I'm a dragon and I'm here to say
I never thought I'd have to use #stopwhitepeople2016 unironically. You're better than that, don't come here with that weak shit ever again. the rest is okay

I counter with my own rhymes. youtube.com/watch?v=VseXdgy5tcY

>Encounter a giant reptile that spits hot fire
>"First of all, I'm not a dragon"

Thank you.

>Let me tell you if you thought a dragon dildo would sting,
>pull your kilts up and get ready for the real live thing

NOICE

aren't red dragons immune to fire?
cheating chromatic dragons...

> dragons lair is eight miles away from town

>tfw we will never hear the sick rap that Slim Shady put out in the early 2000s
>tfw his rap has gone to shit after the Eminem show
The only more-or-less popular white rapper I respected, and he just had to go down the shitter. Such a shame.

The only reason he is well known is cause he got the same people as NWA backing him. Good white rappers have the same backing as good black rappers (none) and you have to find them the hard way.

Rap God is actually pretty good though.

I dunno, man, if I had to tier his songs, it would probably go something like this:
1. Stan
2. My Name Is
3. Without Me
4. Some of his 2000s stuff (Ass Like That, Cleaning Out The Closet, Lose Yourself etc.)
5. Some of his Infinity album stuff
6. Everything else.

Slim was at his best when he was a cheeky self-aware cunt.

I'm not even that into rap and I genuinely enjoy Rap God

Is this the most Veeky Forums hip-hop album of all time?

No, but it's really good nonetheless.

>1. Stan
Those are some patrician tastes you got there, mate-o.

>rapping
>not limericks

There once was a faggot called OP,
He sucked many dicks like a slob,
He thought rap was good,
But he was a fruit,
A prancing la-la homo fop.

Once in this red dragon's lair
I found a reptile in my hair
Though he spit slick
his hick shtick limp dick
against me had nary a prayer

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Flyting_of_Dumbar_and_Kennedie

>The insults are graphic and personal, and were not necessarily arbitrary. Dunbar characterises Kennedy as speaking a barbarous Highland dialect, as being physically hideous and withered like a sort of living memento mori, as being poor and hungry, and of having intercourse with mares. Kennedy, by contrast, suggests that Dunbar was descended from Beelzebub, is a dwarf, and has no control of his bowel movements (to the point of almost sinking a ship in which he is travelling). Both cast doubt on the other's poetic skill; Kennedy states that while he ascends Mount Parnassus to drink of the insiprational waters of the Castalian Spring, Dunbar goes "in Marche or Februere" to a farm pond and drinks the frogspawn.

medieval rap battles were fucking savage holy shit

>drinks the frogspawn

Ice. Cold.

That's not a limerick

Skyrim in a nutshell

>Didn't have microscopes yet
>Somehow knew that sperm looked like tadpoles.
>Implied his opponent swallows.

That's fire.

IT'S IRON FLAMES

>lol witey u so stoopid, u gots ta feel da jungle rithims in yo soul
>s m h, t b h, f a m

Mr. Dragon...

I see you tryna cast some magic past your lyrical station
So let me bring down the Wish to your Prestidigitation
Your rhymes may be fast but they can't touch me
I got the highest AC in the whole industry
If you're trying to test me, you should just leave
I slay so much pussy, I had take Great Cleave
Your bitch is still at -1 from when I hit it and quit it
If you ask her why she came, she'll say

"A wizard did it!"

COUNTERSONG

youtube.com/watch?v=QHYwprmWMfY

That is amazing