Mecha Space Pirate Quest XXI

Welcome back, cadets, to the twenty-first chapter of Mecha Space Pirate Quest. As last time, you are Ensign Heinrich "Caesar" Merrow, SOUL Squad A's substitute member and pilot of the King Swordfish Mk. II.
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Last time, you faced extreme peril and became a man. Ave Caesar! You've also just received orders to take the shuttle to the Jaburo to receive your orders from General Fairchild.

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youtube.com/watch?v=kSmlRuL6ZvA
youtube.com/watch?v=CYksb4MyiAs
youtube.com/watch?v=JE82-_5kCX4
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The worst. You say to be here at the usual time. Come 30 minutes early.

You push your plate away after only a few more bites, unable to concentrate on breakfast with the MP hovering at your shoulder. Naomi pushes it back to you, “Eat up, you'll need your strength. Just a few more bites, for me?”

You take another bite, looking at her sidelong. She smiles happily, and pats your head, “That's my Caesar.”

You smile, comforted, and continue eating. The MP looking vaguely uncomfortable with interrupting a couple's meal helps, somehow, it makes him less intimidating despite his drab all-green uniform, prominent body armor, and open-faced helmet. “Are you hungry?” You ask, on impulse.

[Continued]

“No sir, I already had mine. Can't get enough of the pancakes they serve on these ships, right?” He grins and gives you a thumbs-up, earning a laugh from the two of you. The pancakes are, indeed, pretty good. One nice thing about being assigned to the Solar System itself is that there's plenty of food that isn't preserved rations or meal bars, especially when you're docked. Eating them without artificial gravity is a bit of a challenge, but you've gotten pretty adept at managing. The MP glances around, “I'll grab some coffee, though, I feel like an a bit of an ass interrupting a couple.” He wanders off in search of caffeine, giving you and Naomi some time to yourselves. You finish before he gets back, and wave to get his attention. He waves back, and starts making his way over to you.

You turn to Naomi, “Aren't you coming too?”

She shrugs and makes a face, “I wasn't ordered to. I'm not a squad leader or an officer-in-training like you are, so I'm expected to just follow orders passed down by my superiors. Besides, I have chores to do.”

You wince. As an ensign rather than a rank-and-file cadet you don't have any chores at all. The MP returns, sipping coffee from a space-compatible capsule, and waits until you're ready to escort you to the mechbay and the shuttle waiting there. Although at first he was as stern as you'd expect from someone in his profession, he warms up a little and chats with you about his kids on his way to the Jaburo. He's even got pictures, which you admire politely.

[Continued]

The Jaburo is older than the Cincinnatus, you recall hearing somewhere that it was the first Wels-class produced, and only the mounting for the defensive screen's projectors look new and shiny. The officers' quarters, though, are precisely as luxurious as you would expect. Since it's the same class of vessel, though, it only takes a few minutes and inputting your code into the military's network to get access to the ship's blueprints for you to be absolutely sure you know your way to the brig as well as the general's quarters. You make your way to the latter without much trepidation. You overhear some of the senior staff talking about an upcoming transfer to a new ship, but you can't exactly stop and listen in without being obvious and they outrank you by a few points and several years.

Colonel Stern's berth is fairly spartan, he tends to leave his door open and only really use his desk. General Fairchild's, however, looks like the sort of office you're used to seeing in high-class law firms and Bahamutcorp branch offices. You almost expect, out of habit, for someone to push an unpleasant girl on you and tell the pair of you to go make friends while your father and her parents try to arrange a future for you. The realization that you're no longer inheriting anything from your dad and can safely tell an arranged marriage goodbye forever cheers you up inside. It has a small staff of women doing paperwork, although there are a lot of boxes packed with their personal possessions as though they're preparing to leave the ship. In fact, looking back, you did notice an unusual amount of activity in the hallways and a lot of the crew were carrying things. She even has a receptionist, who looks up from playing wordboxes on her PC long enough to buzz you in.

[Continued]

Inside, the General's office is even more luxurious. Thick, green carpets cover the floor, an unusual expense in zero-g. The general is sitting at her desk, looking bored as she watches commercials play across the holoscreen projected across one wall. There are a lot of pictures on the wall...General Fairchild as a pilot, General Fairchild as a brightly smiling young girl in academy dress hugging a much taller girl with long, red hair, General Fairchild saluting an older general and standing in front of her first starship...and many cases for medals and trophies. Colonel Stern has those cases in his office too, but he keeps most of his medals in a drawer under his desk, never looks at them, and likes to tell a funny story about how he once gave the Titanium Medal for Valor earned during the War to a girl he used to like when he forgot to buy her a birthday present. The General's, however, are brightly polished and gleam in the light of the luminoglobes. You come sharply to attention and salute as crisply as you can. She looks up, seeming rather critical of your salute but apparently dismissing it as not worth the bother.

“So, you're...” She checks a datafile, “Ensign Heinrich...Merrow? Ah, you're Rudolph Merrow's son. Yes, I remember now. I expected you to be taller” She smiles, the expression not touching her eyes in the slightest, “Your father was a superb pilot, I was quite the fan when I was younger. Does he ever talk about his war days?”

You shake your head. The things your father had to do during the War haunt him badly enough to make him a difficult man to get past the shell of, “No ma'am, it was long ago.”

She frowns, “A pity, I was hoping he'd given you some piloting tips. Oh well, it can't be helped. You're not him, but you'll have to do. So, you've been assigned to Squad A. I'm sorry about the unfortunate timing.”

[Continued]

>I expected you to be taller”

Fuck, woman, he's 16.

Despite wanting to go hide somewhere, or just leave as she compares you to your father, you manage to smile a little, “It can't be helped, ma'am.”

Her mouth forms a small, hard line, “Don't talk back, boy. I can have you working the Shetland maintenance bays on California Station for the rest of your career if you don't know when to stay quiet and when to speak.”

You gulp, and nod. She smiles, “Better. Boys would do well to talk a great deal less, in my opinion. Your Sergeant in particular has talked rather too much. Still, that isn't strictly your fault.” She glances around you at the screen, “Ah, QTPI is finally on. That pretty Gretchen must have stopped to do a piece on the Pumpkinseed IIs I sent her, isn't she charming? Sit down, you're giving me a headache looming over me with that long face, we can discuss your new posting when it finishes...and maybe you'll learn something about mecha. We used data from the King Swordfish's shield system in constructing the Pumpkinseed II. Let's see what QTPI thinks about it, hmm?” She seems quite smug at the chance to potentially outdo your father, who according to everything you've heard built the original with a couple of friends in a garage back when Bahamutcorp mostly made transport vehicles and light starships and hadn't gotten into the mech game yet.

[Continued]

Damn, half of me wants to see her reaction, the other half wants Caesar to be nowhere near the blast radius.

>QTPI
I see what you did there.

youtube.com/watch?v=kSmlRuL6ZvA

Caesar awakens, take cover.

A cute girl with a round face, curvy frame, and twintails appears on screen, smiling. Next to her desk is a couch, and on that couch sit two people. You recognize Red Siren instantly. That hat! Those boobs! That coat! Those high boots! That poise! Those boobs! You're instantly jealous of the person she's leaning on in a more-than-friendly way...but not so much as you would have expected. After all, you're no longer a boy, you're a man now. Besides, that man can only be one person. Tall, with broad shoulders covered by a black leather jacket. Real black leather, none of the imitation stuff. Black aviators. Muscles built for combat...you instantly decide that you need to step up your workouts...and an unmistakable mane of long, brilliantly orange hair. Most recognizable is that absolutely confident grin. The sheer force of his charisma is like a gale wind that knocks you back in your chair. Lieutenant Farragut's self-proclaimed husband.


"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to tonight's edition of QTPI News! As always, I'm your lovely host, Gretchen Colburn. We have a special surprise for you tonight. On my way to California Station for a few human interest pieces about our brave troops and the ever popular Maximum Thrusters review of Bahamutcorp's latest machine, I met some interesting guests! That's right, I've been kidnapped by Red Siren and Roarke Starwind!" The girl gestures. Red Siren smiles at Roarke and squeezes his hand. He smiles back. At one time, this would have filled you with bitter jealousy and you would have sworn vows of revenge on the Admiral...but honestly, you can't help being a little bit happy for them. After all, you were annexed by Naomi. Roarke is a cool guy, at least Red Siren didn't end up with some loser.

[Continued]

Oh boy, here it comes~ get the popcorn lads.

You examine the footage of the Pumpkinseed II shooting the Black Ogre with interest while the reporter exchanges smalltalk and then goes straight into asking about Suleiman 1. As you expected, it's been upgraded since the last footage you've seen. He denies involvement, and honestly...you believe him. The California Station-area crews are unusually flashy, but for the most part they run themselves for profit and you can't see any money to be made in destroying a colony. Which is good, because otherwise you wouldn't be able to forgive Red Siren for siding with a man like that.

Obviously, you want to hear what's going on, but in that moment you make a fatal mistake. You glance over at General Fairchild and freeze like a rabbit in the shadow of a hawk. She's staring fixedly at the screen, her lips peeled back from her sharp, white teeth, which are bared in an expression of absolute hatred. It's a flash of white-hot rage from a normally cold person, and all the more intense for it. When she speaks, it's incredibly slowly and without looking at you, “Engign...”

“Y-y-yes?”

“Get out. Don't go anywhere, just...don't be where I can see you for five minutes."

You reach the door just as you hear the sound of her desk splintering against the wall.

>[Listen in]
>[Make smalltalk with the secretaries]

>>[Listen in]

Caution? HAH!

>[Make smalltalk with the secretaries]
Do you guys like video games?

>[Make smalltalk with the secretaries]
I doubt listening in will give us anything that we can't already guess, or would find intelligible. And we can't be entirely certain that no one will snitch on us.

>>[Make smalltalk with the secretaries]

>>[Make smalltalk with the secretaries]
Let's see what the grunts know about Athena. It's why we are here after all. It helps that it would stave away any looming threat of an angry Clemmy too.

>[Listen in]
I for one want to see why fairchild hates roarke so much.

>General Fairchild as a pilot, General Fairchild as a brightly smiling young girl in academy dress hugging a much taller girl with long, red hair.
Looks like a clue to me lads. and
>[Make smalltalk with the secretaries]
don't want Caesar to get screwed here.

You want to get a better look at that big, green mech without any arms, but you also want to survive the day. You decide to stay a few feet away from the door.

"So...um...do you like simgames?" You ask awkwardly, while the sound of things breaking echoes from behind you.

One of the secretaries sniffs disapprovingly, while another nods, "Yes, I'm a huge gamer! I've played everything that's come out for the PC in the last few years."

By Jove, you're surrounded by casuals. Absolute fucking casuals. You suppress the Fairchild-like look of pure disapproval on your face, adjust your glasses, and are thankfully spared from having to change the topic as, from behind you, Hermione Fairchild's voice rings out at glass-breaking decibels.

"YOU DARE MOCK ME YOU PUTRESCENT LITTLE SHIT!?"

You and the secretaries all wince in unison. One of them sighs, "I suppose it's for the best that she's only getting this upset a few days before we move to the Iulia Maesa."

"Iulia Maesa? Is she another friend of the general's?" You think back, trying to recall the name.

The secretary laughs, "They just finished the first Mekong-class on Europa, the Iulia Maesa, it's going to be presented to General Fairchild as her personal vessel upon her return to Jupiter. It's going to be sad to see the Jaburo go, they're giving it to Colonel Hatsheput and having most of the essential staff replaced. I think some prisoners are being moved, too...gods, I hope so." she shudders, "That renegade Terran gives me the creeps."

You've never even seen a Terran, "Anyone else?"

The woman shrugs, "It's classified."

You nod. Of course it's classified.

"I WAS GOING TO TAKE HER TO THE FINEST HOTEL ON THIS MISERABLE ROCK! THE FINEST! WE WOULD HAVE BATHED TOGETHER IN LUNARIAN CHAMPAGNE...BUT NO...NO I'M 'JUST A FRIEND'! PLUTO TAKE YOU, ROARKE STARWIND! MAY YOUR GENITALS ROT FROM JEGAN FUNGUS!"

[Continue]

Wew.

christ someone has a temper

Renegade Terran!! DEAR GOD THEY HAVE THE AUSTRALIAN ON BOARD THE SHIP!!!!!

Wow, she seems mad. Do you think if we sent her a poster like pic related it'd make her feel better?

>That renegade Terran gives me the creeps.
By jove the rumors were true.

Why is he wearing a belt with no pants? Why is he wearing gloves?

I understand the sunglasses, though.

lesbo just cant play the game like our boy, starwind

No, no. that's a good thing. All we have to do is set him loose and stay way the fuck away and instant diversion!

It would probably make her feel worse.

she needs a full Starwind® merchandise package to soothe her down.

He doesn't really need belts in the first place seeing as his pants aren't weighed down by gravity.

Oh man, pissing in haman's cereal will never get old.

Wait, so she's doing all this because she believes Roarke got her NTRed?

That's

It's really

Huh

A complimentary visit to the lunarian champagne spas for her and a friend and a holotape of "What do so while at the Lunarian Champagne Spas by Roarke and Red Siren." that's just her getting pounded for hours in the Spa.

this is how i'm imagining her sreams right now

youtube.com/watch?v=CYksb4MyiAs

All this? No, she was up to this way before we NTR'd her with Gretchen.

Roarke's dad NTR'd her with Roarke's mom. So it's a family tradition.

So guys, when we're back to being Roarke, can we set some time to play nice with Fatima? Give her a shore leave to relax on the beach in Auditorium (with female guard complement, ofc), a restaurant dinner?

Show her a recording of our negotiations about her to see if she thinks her erstwile hubby's behaviour is unexpectedly weird?

How certain are we that she's referring to Gretchen here?

No, before we were a threat because we weren't in her pocket book. Now we just stole her conquest from under her and pissed all over her plans in one fell swoop.

The kestrel flew by and just shat over her new car's seat and its never going to come out.

Nigga, if you think haman isn't going to throw every ship she has at auditorium, you aren't reading.

I'm pretty certain that we'll still be having some downtime while polishing off the upgrades.

Nah. Lets just leave her in the cell. We dont need a prisoner to have a wonderful impression of us and she is already well treated as is.

dude, we've guven her more than enough reasons to launch the equivalent of future space nukes to us ASAP. it will be a miracle if she doesn't send righht now all her forces to the auditorium.

You know what would be satisfying? someone like pic related being haman's lover and roarke taking gato's place.

might be a good idea. having a rich powerful girl on our side (or at least not actively trying to hunt us down) is never bad.

Nigger we kidnapped her and pawned her ship for giant robots.

>implying anyone would want Nina

you a funny guy user.

I think that's basically the only part of the situation she approved of, actually.

And despite that she doesn't seem to have too bad an impression of us personally at the moment. Who knows what we could accomplish by the time the exchange takes place, if we put some effort into it?

we already sang a song with her and showed her that we aren't complete monsters. i'm pretty sure the situation can improve.

It was a phase.

B-but muh Stockholm syndrome

It's actually called Starwind Syndrome in the future.

And are we going to bust out the Rouge Terran when we hit the ship and bust out the Doc? Having any info on Earth at this time would be a fucking goldmine with the Info blackout.

To what end? She is already better treated than most kidnapped people. Even if she didn't personally feel like following true on her many threat's after she gets free, she is still a military pilot. Its her whole job to shoot us.
Pretty sure that takes longer than like a week.

>implying he won't break out on his own

>"HAHA! GOTCHA KEYS, CUNT!"

You realize her fiance is going to try to kill her when we go for the trade, right?

Why would you wish such a fate on the galaxy user?

no? wasn't she a princess or something like that? being a pilot was only a hobby.

>somewhere far away, hidden from the universe, a green man cries bitter tears and doesn't know why

Last time I checked her dad was still rich.

Even if he's an Aussie, he would have info on what's going down back on Earth to be serious.
that and to have the ability to revive the power of the Australian shit poster is impossible to resist.

That wouldn't really help us much though.

Let's all just admit we find the idea of a crazed, unkillable australian running around creating havoc amusing.

>implying having the power of GYchan on your side wouldn't be a terrifying boon

She's not a professional pilot. Her daddy the Sheikh was going to give her the Tarrasque after Jesus no-goed it for military acquisitions entirely because she's a mech enthusiast and the not!Big Zam isn't haram according to Hakimite Islam.

the meme magic of the future must be great indeed. And think of the dank memes that have been created in the future

having earth information is a huge bonus. specially because he's a military prisoner. he knows something. he could know ways to bypass earth defenses or at the very least tell us what is happening down there.

>she is still a military pilot. Its her whole job to shoot us.
Yeah not like we Roarked two of those already or anything

I meant the earth knowledge. Not the bushwacking.

Come on you know you want a crazed Aussie

Plus she gives upgrades, so not wooing her is literally making roarke weaker.

Also the perfect pilot for the zam.

Earth defense is a literal fuck ton of guns point at space that has orders to Kill on Sight. Still a bonus we could try for Oda though.

"M...maybe I should come back another time..." You start to edge towards the door back to the rest of the ship, but the PA goes off before you can.

"Bethany, please send Ensign Merrow back in." General Fairchild's voice has calmed down somewhat, in the way that an arctic wind is less chilling than a Europan blizzard.

You gulp and look pleadingly around, but there isn't any help for it, you have to go back into that room.

The General has just finished flipping her desk back over when you arrive. There's nothing that can quite be done about the fact that two of the officers' swords she previously had hanging from her wall are now sticking out of the opposite wall, right where Roarke Starwind's face was being projected.

The General adjusts her desk, puts her chair upright, and pulls out a small hand mirror, fixing her hair with the air of an affronted cat. You wait in nervous silence.

The projector, undettered, is now showing a commercial. A stupid-looking little boy jumps into a mech whose hatch was left open, 'Daddy, look at me, I'm going to impress Sarah!'

'NOOOOOOO!' says a small, fat man with an improbably attractive wife, as the boy pilots the mech directly into the path of an oncoming asteroid.

'Do you have nightmares about this very scenario? Buy a Katz-brand Deluxe Anti-Theft Code Lock today, and enjoy peace of mind knowing that your property and your family are secure' drones the announcer, as the General finally clears her throat.

"Ensign, I've changed my mind. I was going to keep you here for a while longer...but I have decided to grant Sergeant Blanchett's request and give him an opportunity to redeem himself."

"Huh?" You eloquently reply.

[Continued]

We dont need to fuck every single person who gives upgrades. Especially not the ones we can sell back to their family for enough cash to buy another ship or some better mechs. We need to upgrade more than just roarke.

You got to be tactical with your fucking.

She's going to have him lead the attack and we're gonna capture his ass so fast. That is if she doesn't put a bomb on him or his mech. Or goes Metal Gear style and put inside of him.

>We dont need to fuck every single person who gives upgrades

You take that back right now, asshole.

>a literal fuck ton of guns point at space
Funnily enough, cloaking, lightspeed travel and long-distance teleportation are all potentially available systems.

we don't need to fuck her right now. we can do it after the fiancee tries to kill her or they get divorced.

The issue is that may not be the case. If they try to use her as a way to make us look evil, they may just write her off as 'corrupted' anyways and do the 'right' thing of an honorable death.

Do not assume it will be that easy. Never assume it will be that easy.

So what type of music do Naomi and Clemmy listen to along with Roarke's brother?

But hope for the best, plan for the worst, right?

since we're waiting for an update, what type of music do you think the other characters listen to?

>The projector, undettered, is now showing a commercial. A stupid-looking little boy jumps into a mech whose hatch was left open, 'Daddy, look at me, I'm going to impress Sarah!'

>'NOOOOOOO!' says a small, fat man with an improbably attractive wife, as the boy pilots the mech directly into the path of an oncoming asteroid.

>'Do you have nightmares about this very scenario? Buy a Katz-brand Deluxe Anti-Theft Code Lock today

I love everything about this

yea, we need to make mixtapes for everybody

We can fuck her after he sell her or it becomes impossible to sell her ok? Until then she can continue to be inordinately well treated and let out for after battle parties.

No. Plan for everything. Hope has no place here. When the plans work smoothly then we may bask in it's glory. Like that interview. That was glorious.

Even in the far future, corny commercials never get old.

Clemmy listens to heavy metal.

Naomi listens to smooth jazz, maybe?

Cassius has exactly the same taste as Roarke.

So who would listen to Sabton?
youtube.com/watch?v=JE82-_5kCX4

i think that all of us can agree that thats the idea.

"Colonel Stern has made several good points about how unlikely it is that Sergeant Blanchett actually leaked the information on the Suleiman 1 facility to the Iron Kestrels. Unpleasant as it is, we must assume that he tortured the information out of Corporal Blanchett...I'd bet good money that he tried his usual tricks on her and found out the interesting little secret I know from her personnel files. I expect his reaction was rather harsh." She smiles unpleasantly, "We can only assume her brother is trying to protect her with his ludicrous claims...but it would be cruel to blame him for trying to protect a sibling, wouldn't it? If she really is at fault, we can punish her appropriately ourselves. Quietly, out of the public eye. Also, as much as I hate to admit it, Starwind himself has a point. We cannot negotiate effectively for the return of Corporal Blanchett...and more importantly, her mech...without sending Sergeant Blanchett to handle it. The S-Betta and its particular specialty could be disastrous in the hands of a ruthless pirate. We must do this intelligently, in a way the common folk will see as reasonable." She interlaces her fingers and leans across the desk towards you, "I'm sending Squad A to Auditorium. I'll let the guards know to let you into the brig, the Sergeant is being released without charges for now. Your orders are to transfer Squad A's mecha to the Jaburo, accompany it to Jupiter where you will meet with your temporary commanding officer, and from there set out to Auditorium to negotiate the release of Corporal Blanchett and the return of her machine."

[Continued]

>not pillaging

You are a terrible pirate.

Why am I imagining her looking like Gendo right now?

Because she's a terrible human being?

You cant make money on pillaged muslim goods you ninny. Sell people shit and once you take their money pillage whatever they have left over.

i'm a firm believer that clemmy listens to nursery rhymes. it's the only thing that makes sense

So what if we find Space Shinji? Do we Bright slap him?