In your setting, do the Gods fuck mortals?

You mean funny, like today?

Yes, but very sparingly. Demigods can upset the balance and most gods are cautious fucks.

Of course, the god of violation doesn't really care.

>four years ago

lmao

What vile degenerate penned this comic? Is this supposed to be funny?

"Hee hee, they're talking about pee-pees and hoo-hoos, isn't that so witty and hilarious?"

Fresh off the boat?

Enjoy your stay, newfriend.

It's poorly paced but it's got the gem of a good joke.

I like Oglaf but not every comic is going to be great.

i didn't know sodium chloride elementals posted here

Slug genocide levels

That's just Lot's wife, ignore her.

Everything gets lame after some time. He has been making this comic for years

>He

>humor can't be funny, unless it's puritan!
Oh, blow off, you posh.

You fundamentally misunderstand the nature of vulgar humor. If you want vulgar humor, look no further than picrelated.
Oglaf isn't simply "oh look, it's talking about defecation and copulation how funny!". Oglaf has clear-cut punch lines, and a very solid humoristic structure.

This isn't even toilet or vulgar humor, it just uses sex as a premise, no, as a foundation of a joke, while the joke itself is as classic in its structure as it possibly gets.
But you are too preoccupied with the speck in your brother's eye to notice the plank in your own.

Good day to you, and don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

>i had fun once
>it was the best fun anyone ever had
>all your fun is shit in comparison and should die in a fire

>behold, the only funny Oglaf

The fates are vicious and they're cruel.
You learn too late you've used two wishes
like a fool

and then you're someone you are not,
and Junction City ain't the spot,
remember Mrs. Lot
and when she turned around.
And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise
of this wicked little town.

Part 1 of X:

>Goddess of water and god of fire are siblings
>God of fire has a really bad eating habit
>Very Hungry Cosmic Caterpillar bad
>He can eat anything, living or nonliving, though he likes meat the best

>Eats trees
>Eats animals
>Eats a Tarrasque
>Eats a hole into the goddamn mountain region so that he can keep digging and find things to eat
>All the time getting bigger and hungrier

>His sister starts getting scared
>Makes a pond on the dry land to hide in
>Hopes it'll ward off her brother
>As he gets bigger, it turns into a lake and then finally the ocean
>Word comes from the mountain that he's not stopping anytime soon
>All of the ocean won't be able to stop him if he comes after everyone else, even her

>Fuck this I'm calling Dad, he'll know what to do
>One of her servants needs to carry an urn of seawater into the desrt to contact her father who fell into a divine coma since he was done with his part of creation
>Half of the dudes she sends pussy out, the other half drink the seawater and have to retreat so they don't die of thirst
>It's up to one final dedicated dude to drag this thing two weeks into the desert and pour it out on the sand when she tells him to
>He fucking owns that shit, only hallucinating during the last few days

>As soon as he pours out the urn, he basically keels over and dies
>Goddess of water's dad, who's been awakened, is the god of death and instantly revs him, making him immortal for his badassery
>Basically bottomless spring of clear water pours from the desert in that ONE spot (later becomes a town)
>New immortal returns with the urn filled with the spring water
>Goddess of water propositions him the second this dude gets back, they have four kids

I like this, it feels very Greek.

>degenerate
Hello, /pol/.

Underrated post right hear.

That right there? That's some GOOD background lore. It feels like it could be an actual myth! Marvelous.

Not really. I mean, probably some, but that's not how you get demigods anyway.

Everyone in my setting has a certain amount of "divine spark", but the quantity in mortals is nowhere near what is needed for godhood. Not by a league. Those with high levels of divine spark often have divine blood already, or were born in areas of divine significance.

This divine spark is however depleted should they get impregnated by an immortal being. As the demi-immortal in them grows, it consumes this divine spark, and is born as either a full-fledged immortal, a mortal with the powers of an immortal, or something with only an inkling of the immortal power.

Should someone give birth to an immortal not fed the divine spark (due to getting knocked up multiple times), they instead give birth to a corrupt abomination. It is theorized in-universe that they are fiends, and that the divine spark is innately celestial, and the abominations are a result of "negative" spark. This is utterly untrue, and the abominations are a class of their own. They are cannibalistic, matricidal, and lack self-awareness. Should one be powerful enough at birth, it would be very capable of killing and devouring its mother who is no doubt exhausted from giving birth.

Even if it's disposed of, they are difficult to kill, and they instinctively know what direction their birth mother is in.

The more powerful the immortal, the stronger the divine spark has to be to prevent an abomination from being born. As such, a God who fucks a mortal is guaranteed to end up with one of these running about. Only mortals with awoken divine blood or recognized as saints can safely give birth to a demigod, but even that needs to be done with great thought as it is likely to deplete the entirety of their divine spark.

Honestly the non-sexual Oglafs are funnier

Part 2 of 3(?):

>God of death connects the dots
>Tells them to send a mortal woman after the god of fire
>Obviously nobody wants to get literally eaten that badly
>Except for one woman, a merchant, who's convinced she can cure his hunger with her snake oil and snake oil accessories
>She heads in loaded down with gimmicky magic items and potions of various types

>She climbs down the huge tunnel the god created digging, getting hotter and hotter as she goes further in
>She was wearing a traveler's coat for the mountain cold before, takes it off
>Finds him standing next to a pile of precious gems digging further into the earth
>At this point the heat is just barely bearable, she's taken off an overshirt

>He sees her and tells her to leave before he goes nuts and eats her too or the heat kills her
>She demands he browse her wares before deciding
>He uses the gemstones he was planning on eating to trade for various new things to eat (potions, trinkets, magic items)
>Eventually she runs out of things but has all of these gemstones
>Tells her he held to the deal so leave

>There's still one diamond left, it's insanely big
>She wants to know what she could trade for it
>He says even if she gave him all the diamonds back it wouldn't be enough
>She has nothing else to offer him but the clothes off her back

>Now, the god of fire was, being a god, very handsome
>And it was very hot, she's basically sweating like a pig
>So she attempts to haggle with him further
>Prompting him to reconsider by offering another piece of her clothing after taking it off
>God of fire starts getting distracted from eating

>Eventually she's down to her skivvies, and has his full attention
>Asks innocently what else she could offer him in exchange for the diamond
>He looks her over again
>This is where things fade to black

Trudy is a woman.

>She doesn't come back for a week afterwards, everyone thinks she's dead
>Eventually, she steps out of the cave fully clothed, dragging along this fuckhuge diamond and looking quite pleased with herself
>They slowly became recognized as partners and she had three sons and a daughter by him
>That's why diamonds are considered THE stone for proposing marriage

>Guy who served the goddess of water is known as the god of rain, travel, paladins, and rivers.
>Woman who seduced the god of fire is now known as the goddess of merchants, lawyers, and, in the less mainstream, whores.
And that's how the mighty need created half of the pantheon and reshaped the setting.

>God doesn't come down in some sort of "mortal" form, but rather just shows up in their full divine presence
>Jizzes onto a small town

What happens?

I feel like the first four panels were unnecessary except to deliver that punchline in the last panel.. But you could of just had the last 2 of the first 4 and had had more panels of jokes

sorta, the human gods originally used to be more disconnected from mankind, they cared for them but in the same fashion one would a car or a favorite tree. they also used to take a form more similar to birds.

however one by one the gods meet a human who they grew fond off taking on a human form as they grew to understand humans better.
the goddess of passion meet a warrior who could keep up with her in battle and in the bed room. she's the only one who regularly has relations with mortals.
the god of rulers meet and lived with a orphan boy who showed him how those with out power lived and shared his dreams of flying.
the god of magic studied under a wiseman who bested him in a battle of wits.

A lot of clean up and trips to the pharmacy for Plan B.

That's why there /are/ nnon-sexual Olgafs.

I feel like this comic has Buckley problems.

Yes, but that's not how they make demigods. They just do it for fun, or for unknowable divine reasons.

What

It has a bunch of panels and dialogue that don't add anything to the comic.

Oh yeah, constantly. Hell, I'm about to give them their godlike powers.
PCs are literally god + mortal. Using ORE, before the game started I handed them a "psychological evaluation" with six pages of simple questions, but each page ended with a murder hobo bait question, and the next page started with a reprimand for the previous page's obvious answer. Hold on, lemmie get that...

>Q 4. Does your character have a family? What kind?
(Flip page)
>Q 5. NO YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING ORPHAN. Your PCs are only 16 years old, they have some kind of support network. I don't care if you live with Aunt May or in the foster home the state stuck you in. Now tell me about your family, and do it properly.
...
>Q 7. If you had the option to worship in any religion, any god, from any mythological pantheon, based on whatever media or history you choose, which one would you pick? What makes you attracted to this deity?
(Flip page)
>Q 8. I did not ask about your atheist leanings, I asked about which mythical god you think is cool. Look, I don't care if you put down Satan, Tom Hiddleston as Loki, or even the flying spaghetti monster, just pick a Deity. Any Deity you find cool. Okay?

Yep. Caught three out of four of them.

It's spoofing the ridiculousness of Greek myths and other such mythologies where heroes keep being born by God's having sex in wierd forms, like how Zues turned into a snake and fucked a Queen to sire Alexander the Great

except the last frame is the punchline, you shouldn't cut that one

It's a rolling punchline. Multiple gags off a simple setup. This is advanced comedy. I can understand if you don't get it.

The last frame was probably the weakest part of the comic.

>What happens?

Danaë.

You literally cut out the best joke.

...

I wholeheartedly disagree with you.

Of course. What kind of Gods would they be otherwise?

In cutting out the panel where the guy talks about making the little world divine, you get rid of one of the most crucial things that makes the comic funny - the contrast between what we think of as divinity, and what the actual consequences of sleeping with gods are.

The war goddess daughter is somewhat normal, which allows us to contrast with the silly or ridiculous things that come later. And then you cut out the punchline with the lady who had nothing divine happen to her at all.

why would gods want to have sex with the mites that crawl over their filthy slut of a sister Gaia?

Okay, I can see where you're coming from on the divinity aspect, and if I redid it, I would completely rewrite the third panel to be succinct. But since I was just moving text around, the first speech bubble in the fourth panel was more necessary than the second for making sense. However, The first three panels in the second row were basically the same joke: themed consequences based on different types of god. I felt like it was unnecessary repetition. The next one is a rather lolsorandom joke and while I would normally avoid it, since it's not the final punchline, it works to break the monotony. The next was a joke based on how pantheon gods tended to act, and I felt that was a stronger finish than the joke tacked on to make fun of priests.

so like
>we can cut first three panels, because they don't really add anything that isn't said in 4th&5th
>we keep the war baby
>I was we drop the music and keep the procrastination, unless there's argument for going the other way around
>and we probably need all of the last three although I would really love to cut the "pregnant in the dick" part

What I would give to fuck the STD on Gaia

The last time that happened, the Destroyer God got 300% MAD and was /this/ close to cleaving the mortal world in half with his sword.

Mostly because he knew what Fertility Goddess was up to, seeding mankind with her progeny so she could send an army of demigods to wreck his face for her petty grudge.

>snake
I prefer when he turned into a swan to sex up Leda, and the version of the story where he somehow seduced Leda instead of raping her as a MOTHERFUCKING SWAN!

all you need is a plane ticket

Is this supposed to be a political map of Africa?

I mean, aren't you supposed to put the names of countries on those?

Unless of course it's a /pol/itical map.

You're not intelligent, and I'm quite positive you just wanted the excuse to be "popular" by taking the contrarian. argument for morality.

Hi Veeky Forums.

Missed me? You're always my best friendos. :^y

You had two whole hours to read and comprehend that, and you didn't.

Also, considering what Veeky Forums in general is like, you're the contrarian here. I bet you think you're pretty clever, ya know? Strolling into a thread with an OP image you could easily have ignored (or maybe instead even spent that time posting a quality thread!), waiting until halfway into the thread to say anything, turning tail and running the moment you get told, and then coming back two hours later acting all smug when you think the "degenerates" are gone.

You are telling a content creator to stop creating, and those who enjoy the content they create to stop enjoying these things. You are actually, really, observably shouting "badwrongfun" at them. You are getting your britches in a twist for no other purpose than to feel morally superior to people you don't know on an anonymous imageboard.

The style of humor seems pretty consistent whether or not it's sexual, I don't think there's a distinction to be made unless the sexuality makes you feel a certain way.

I hope you lose that virginity one day and get over your sexual apprehensions

>merchants, lawyers and whores.
Accurate.

They can't enter the material plane and the only who who is already there is buried underground.

Yes, sometimes, not much because it can be dangerous and they don't really need it to impregnate you.

Except the goddess of waters. She's a crazy slut who will fuck you without asking or caring too much about drowning you or destroying your sanity. You get power ups if you survive though.

>God of War's baby is the LO god

I just kinda feel like they're tired and worn out. It's rarely inventive or interesting anymore. The cumsprite was so absurd yet oddly logical, and the manly barbarians so manly they hate women were amusing enough.

But lately the comic just seems like it's trying too hard to get the boners in, to the detriment of the writing.

"Gods" are just people who're max level in-setting.
Their kids, whether with mortals or with other Gods, will always have a Demi-God Tier level cap, so some enterprising God might have a harem for the purposes of raising and training Primarch- quivalents.

Swans are fucking vicious though.

And I'm surprised no one mentioned Zeus turning into piss to rape Perseus' mom.

Okay faggot, there's hundreds of programs for you to be able to see that I'm not the same shit poster as before.

Also, if you can't understand the long term implications for a society to let loose the gates of morality and deceny, then there is no point for arguing.

Pretty badass story

...

I'm curious: what did the fourth guy think of your angry questions?

God of War Baby vs Kronar's Son: WHO WINS?

The human one does at least, it's how she makes angels. Part of the faith is that once in every man's life (if he follows the tenets of the religion) she visits him to conceive an angel.

The others, it's a mixed bag. Most don't they usually tend to have a demigod running around.

Girls these days, you can see their ankles!

99% of the people trying to edit comics Buckley Style are prime examples of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Congratulations on being one of them.

So what's the worst, fucking a man in the ass, being fucked by a man in the ass, or performing oral sex on a woman?

You should know this if you aren't a degenerate.

>buckley problems
>buckley style
what?

Oral on a woman.
The other two are showing dominance of your masculinity or being overpowered by another's masculinity.
This is subjecting yourself to unmasculinity, the worst sign of weakness.

Isn't it a bit early to be summer?

It's shorthand for 'a webcomic that has serious pacing issues and often has completely wasted panels that contribute nothing to the comic's punchline'. So it became a game to try and remove panels from his (the artist's name was Buckley) comics while still maintaining the actual joke and humor.

Trying to apply it to other artists' work has been extremely hit or miss, at best, but some people don't get that it was a specific comic's issues and keep trying, even when they totally fuck it up.

It's similar, but not identical to, the WORDSWORDSWORDS edits phenomenon that Order of the Stick has come to receieve in here.

The /pol/ kiddies don't take vacations. They work hard to shitpost all year round.

>let loose the gates of morality and deceny

This is my new entry line, and porbably it will be my epitaph

This one is pretty much on the nose actually -- my favorite Oglafs are the ones that analyze stuff that's common to RPGs or roleplayers like pic related.

The fact is, OP's is both funny and pretty accurate -- you get super powered mortals, and injections of divinity, from seducing gods.

Oh look, a That DM who thinks its "good drama" to have the BBEG kidnap/torture/rape family members/guardians/etc. of PCs, and derides players wise to his tricks as "murder hobos."

The worst is being roman and pretending you invented helenism you barbarian.

Thanks.

Thank you for pointing out how awesome that line is out of context. I need to steal it as well.

No, the worst is having one fucking job and still letting the Turks get in.

The worst is the Turks, Georgios, the Turks.

>In your setting, do the Gods fuck mortals?

In my setting, the Gods are metaphors for human endeavors and natural forces. Spells are instead granted by praying to saints whose philosophies embodied those metaphors on earth, making them divine after death.

In my setting the only gods that are really around (and care about humans) are the gods of the triad: Tyr Ilmater and Torm. obviously Ilmater isnt fucking anyone but for the other 2 its possible i guess but its not really what theyre interested and the church is very puritan.

Yes.

Have you ever heard of Bhaalspawn?