I need some advice Veeky Forums

Absolutely. Killing them = bad plan. But people can have their lives influenced in myriad ways that don't involve death.

I don't think he's talking about killing off the PCs' love interests. What he meant was that, if there's something bad going on in the world that's important enough for the players to care about it, it should be something that affects the lives of the people they care about. Even a clichéd BBEG or earth-shattering disaster ought to have small scale repercussions that the players can see—and if the lives of the PCs' loved ones are made difficult because of it, or if it pushes them apart and strains their love, those are great motivations to deal with it.

This posts seems like it's trying to be neutral, but instead comes across as subtly self-superior.

If that doesn't sound right to you, are you sure you read the post carefully?

Not entirely sure what you're getting at, but I'm sorry if I worded things poorly.

This person said much better what I was trying to say.

Have a building catch fire and have it be related to the main plot, almost never fails

ayyyy, go with the flow and adapt your main story to feature more of these relationships, make them alter the core game, and at least motivate the players to keep on trucking. Don't just fridge the love interests, though. Unless the player courting that character is an asshole.

a few people have request i explain the campaign so they can better help so i will.

basically the current story arc focuses on the PC's as a gifted group of individuals, recently, the city in witch they live has been threatened by the BBEG because he wants to overthrow the current government power. BBEG uses information on the PC's like their fighting style, armor, weapons, and strategies to make magical super minions with the sole purpose of countering them because the party is the biggest threat to his plans, as they are very close with the current ruler.

it goes far more in depth than that and it is present in a more original way of course, but that would take far too long to explain

Have him make magical minions to counter the waifus. They don't have to be actually in real danger, but if you convince the players as such, it'll motivate them.

Why is user's solution better for murdohoboing, while yours is better for an actual crafted story?

OP here.
while i appreciate your guyss advice thus far i seem to have failed to clarify something that changes things.
they are dating/married or anywhere far in their relationships with the NPCs. their romancing adventures are quite a recent development, so doing something like making their love strained will just push them away from the NPC's, their romance isnt far along enough for them to try and work through it.

the key issue here is they are TRYING to romance instead of focusing on the main plot. and their ATTEMPTS at romance are some of the best roleplaying i have seen from them, so if i take their waifus away or strain things too much it wont work

Sauce?

This literally doesn't change any of the general advice in this thread. Why don't you want to make the game you want to run the game they want to play? All you have to do is follow their cues and know what you want.

Then let them keep doing the romance stuff and don't worry about it. If the BBEG is sending out minions specifically crafted to kill them, then they can't exactly ignore that, can they?

The NPC interactions are their characters' opportunity to escape from their difficult lives for a scene, and that's fine. As the relationships develop, you can start thinking about weaving them into the plot in some way—though I personally don't think it would be bad to have the NPCs affected by what's going on even at this early stage. It can even be as simple as one of the NPCs expressing their concern for a PC's safety, which could prompt that PC to have to explain how they feel about their responsibilities and the situation they've been placed in, which just means you're getting more good roleplaying out of it.

If the PCs are legitimately not doing ANYTHING about the guy who is trying to assassinate them, then you've got to escalate the situation. The world can keep moving without the players having to be the impetus behind everything, and if they remain complacent then their problems are only going to get worse. Eventually something bad will happen, and it'll be their fault—not the players's fault, but the CHARACTERS', which can be a great point to impress on a group of players.

Do that, or—if they're just incredibly uninterested in the plot you've set up for them—admit you wrote a shitty story and run with what they've given you instead. Players who are willing to take initiative in roleplaying are a godsend. If you're uncertain, you definitely can't go wrong if you throw out whatever you'd prepared and follow their cues.

I don't think that anyone is suggesting that you 'take them away'.

If BBEG is in fact Bad and Evil, then having him in governmental power is probably worse for the NPCs than the current government. So, show that. Show how he'd be a bad governor/king/whatever. Show how the current government helps the people of the town... the people like the NPCs in question.

If, the BBEG wouldn't be so bad for the townsfolk, or the current government isn't so good, then you shouldn't be surprised if the PCs don't care to stop him. If, however he IS bad for people, then SHOW how he's bad for people.

If the focus of your game is on having fun combat and/or exploring exotic locations, and the players are having more fun meeting interesting NPCs, then just make your game be about what your players are interested in.

If you have a story that you're trying to tell and you've already laid the groundwork for what's at stake if the players do nothing, then simply saying, 'oh, it's ok if you do nothing, let's ditch that storyline and do something else' risks making everything feel weightless and not paying off what you've implicitly promised.
The "adapt it so that it comes up urgently and organically" is fine advice that works sometimes and doesn't work sometimes. . . depends on your narrative style.

Also, this.

It's all good advice.
If you did write a shitty story, don't be afraid to walk away from it. But tie up loose ends so that later down the road your players don't think that their other problems can be avoided with "my story was shit, that guy doesn't exist any more."

start giving them real life blowjobs while rping as their wife for maximum immersion.

Why is the idea that people's ideas cannot mix so pervasive around here? I cannot help but think that the answer lies in a lack of creativity, an inability to develop one idea by applying another to create something richer, more complex and unexpected.

I'm glad you remember my contribution to that thread so fondly.

I must really be off my game tonight, because you keep taking away things that I wasn't trying to say.

To be perfectly clear, when DMing, when your players seem interested in something, integrate it, as you can, into your sessions. When something isn't working, walk away from it. Just do those things while keeping your world consistent, weighty, and meaningful. Railroading is bad (generally), and all the players, not just the DM, are storytellers in any roleplaying game.

You seem to be misinterpreting that guy's advice. You have to keep up the masquerade, sure, but you have a lot of leeway on the back end.