ITT We pretend Veeky Forums made it to the 41st millenium

Some boards might get pruned and the board ownership answered directly to the Inquisition as a way to seek and destroy heretical cults

New boards would be hacked into the site by various factions and is too difficult to remove:

A board for Orkz about trickz to crump humies gitz, how to kuztomize your choppa in various ways,... Lot of Waaagh and dumb orkz memez

An Eldar board directly from the Webway, used mainly to whine about past days and stupid Mon'keigh

Tau board already got /a/ and related boards

Chaos got a board that spam constant edit of Imperial memes and high amount of gores/fuckeries

Necrons got a quiet board with very few posts, one of them is a list of shits that Trazyn stole

(cont)

>Imply others beside the God-Emperor himself can make the Imperium great again

Purging van inbound

BDSM/Torrent board for Dark Eldars, gratuitous amount of pics and various magnet links for all sorts of snuffs you can think of

A universal version of /int/ that have from Imperium citizen, mutants, subhuman to various kind of sentience xenos

A board for nids featuring nothing but static images

Battle brothers! I'm afraid I've been having some problems with my armor lately... Brother Caesare says nipple armor is the way to go, but Sargeant Gaius says only Aquilas should be put on chestplates?

Can any of the wise battle brothers and cousins on Veeky Forums provide assistance?

-Brother Marius, from Baal

>There is no greater glory than a lifetime of dutiful service
Pampered Terran rich boys please go.

Kek, enjoy your 13 seconds frontline """"glory""""

IG BTFO

Brother Caesare sounds like a huge faggot, don't listen to him

What you want to do is custom make an Aquilas with a portrait or a symbol in the middle that best represent your chapter i,e: drop of blood, wolf head,...etc And then tapered that son of a bitch up with some new stripes of purity seals (And don't let other faggots bicker about how they are too clean and shits), shine up your custom aquila with some oil until it shine better than Brother Caesare's retarded bald head since he sounds like he has one (Having hair help make your chest piece stand out more)

Now you can take that pimping new armor out on a stroll and watch all the other brothers turns their heads, emperor protects and good luck

So Or/k/, /d/eldar, Elda/r9k/, T/a/u, and /b/lack Crusade? Sounds valid.

going to those have a 90% that an inquisition squad will broke in and beat you to death
[Spoiler]The porn is worth it tho[/Spoiler]

...

whew, not everyday you get to see a space marine shitposting

how's your gay club going, faggot :^)

Have small nipple aquilas be made for you armor battle brother

-sincerely brother jorganus of the Salamanders

Oats and Squats

That was idiotic even for a heretic, matey.

OP said his dad is big so this board is suppose to be safe, fuck off Inquisitors

>Elda/r9k/ adeptus chadstartes reeeeeee

Found this on my grandad's basement

dubs tell me what to do with it

>my dad work for the High Lords of Terra
my grand grand grand dad work for them too, what a coincidence

holy terra! i forgot the pic

>you remain pure and not being expose to heresy on a daily basis

top lel

hi guys since a few weeks ago my sister started to act strange and yesterday I discovered she got this strange new tattoo on her neck.

do you guys know what it represents ?

Leave your grandpa alone Avilorn. Or at least fit a plasma cannon onto himbso he can hunt heretics again

...

dont worry user, it means that the imperium is going to every corner of the galaxy
send my regards to the anathem... i mean the holy emperor

...

Can you imagine the levels of irony memes have transcended to after 38000 years of shitposting?

the local administratum does not allow civilians to carry weapons

>Implying based Thor isn't being guided the Emperor's will

>Born third son of the planetary governor of a wealthy world
>life's great. Party hard erryday
>Turn 18
>Told I'm being deployed
>Wat
>Turns out dad believes in an heir, a spare, and expendable children to win honor and glory for the family
>Get an officer commission to a backwater shithole that's been at war for three centuries
>Lord General blames failure on everyone except himself
>Narrowly survive four purges of the officer ranks in as many years
>New commissar is a real hardass
I want to go home

If the shitposting of ye olde days is anything to go by, not a lot will change.

HAHA GAMES WORKSHOP IS DOOMED.
IT'S GONNA GO OUT OF BUSINESS ANY CENTURY NOW

When will they make a female LoC?

Nothing stopping you Slannesh

I mean how much more can they fuck over their customers anyways?

‘This Will Be The End Of Vandire’s Campaign,’ Says Increasingly Nervous Man For Seventh Time This Solar Cycle.

Does anyone know what it takes to be taken on as a man servant by the Adeptus Sororitas?

Only a eunuch may serve, for any other man may be to distracted by the Sororitas holy armor!

>ywn a qt shota pet for a Sororita

I can just guess /r9k/ would be populated by necrons,who are constantly pissed off that the other normie races exist.Also Khorne followers,and some Nurgle followers,urging robots to accept Grandpa Nurgle and posting pics of the gangrene-pustule-shrooms theu`re growing in a corner of their room.

But won`t it suck endlessly?

Why not become a member of the clergy and get to order them around instead?

...

>posting tau shit
Off to the reprocessing plants with you tauaboo

>finally ask local qt hospitaller on a date
>she gives me pills for treating delusion

More savage than Khorne

Add some Chaos symbols to it and use it to warship Chaos Gods.

No,I did not mean any sort of innuendo you fucking impure heretic.What I meant was that the Sister would regard you as important or worthy of anything beyond boring servitude.I`d rather sign up for the fucking Imperial Guard than this shit.Seriously your life sucks if you`re born human.

>Seriously your life sucks if you`re born human.
Get this heretic out of here

But seriously.Being born Eldar or being a Necron,would be infinitely better,now wouldn`t it?

>wanting to be a mindless husk
>wanting to be a faggot
No thank you, I'd rather join a penal legion

I wouldn't worry about it

Do you prefer to have to get Veeky Forums to no end,and still have to undergo inhuman odds,to become a fucking Astartes?Or do you prefer living on a Hive World,or maybe serving in the Imperial Guard some.Or maybe,get yourself brutally executed,because the Inquisition found your loli porn?

>Veeky Forums in 40k

Oh god, imagine the Primarch shitposting...

So this pointy-eared loli keeps coming onto me. I tell her she's under-age, but then she comes back with this.

What the hell's happening?

Some kind of eldar mutation?

>Elda/r9k/ucs get out
It is I, Leman Russ, and I'm here to fuck your bitches and drink Mjod. And I'm all out Mjod.

Tfw your former buddy made a similar post and the commissar found out

INQUISITORS INQUISITORS INQUISITORS

Get richer, fag :^)

Honestly, you could've prevent this with some simple bribery and assassination. But I get that it's too much for you poor fags

Fuck, this Terran cheese is good

>Every day I wake up in daddy's ship orbiting the feudal agricultural planet
>Life is good.emperorpeg
>Daddy was planetary governor
>But Commisar Jenkins boarded our vessel last week, flying in on his no-fun van.
>Daddy was shot for baneposting, they thought it was heresy
>They almost confiscated my warp-net cogitator setup too
>Thank the emperor they didn't find my eldar on tau interracial lesbian porn
>Don't want to anger that raging bonafide machine spirit
Anyay, I was annointed the new planetary governor through inheritance, and really nobody caring to file the paperwork neccessary to actually find a new one

Ask me anything my fellow brothers. What shall befell the commoners today?

Astartes.

at least i'll die angry stomping cultist and not sad paying taxes.

donate it to the local sister's convent...after fitting it with a hidden camera and wireless transmitter.

Most bolter bitches I've met are raging lesbian. What you wanna do is act like a castrated man servant and place microcam in strategic spots like in front of the Emp's statues or one of their mini churches, careful not to get caught or you WILL be castrated for real, and also made into a servitor
One holovid of sisters getting it on is worth alot of creds, no need to cover up their face or anything since they'll be sisters repentance by then

Do you know where they'd sell eldar's/tau's bodies?
they'd serve dead or alive.

>eldar on tau interracial lesbian porn
my bruva

+++ Incoming Transmission +++
+++ Origin Unknown +++

Hey guys, this is Magnus. You know, the red one? Anyway, I don't want to be that guy, but I am powering through into your warp-net with my awesome psychic powers to give you a warning.

...Damn forgot what it was. Oh well, I am sure this hole in your warp-net will leave no lasting damage. Take care loyalist scum

+++ Transmission Ended +++
++ERROR++
+ERROR+
D̴̡͉̙̘ͯͭ͐̎ͩĔ̲̱̦͈̹ͣ̽̊̈́̏́͟A̬͔ͣ̈ͩ͐ͥ̐T̨͖͓̪͕̦͐̊̓ͥH̢̙͎͈̯̍̓̈̃̌̇͒ͨ ͎͙̱ͤ̓̊́̕T̸̶̜̓ͨ̊ͫͫͩ͊ͨ͟O͑̋ͨ̓́͏͍̩̭̲̜͚̤̬ ͇̅ͤ̀͝T̸͈̗̤̰̹͓̾̈́̏́Ḩ̪̲͖͕ͫ͗͂̉̃͆͞Ę̮͔̰̹͖̰̝̿́ ̷̥̳̭͆̊̌͘͜F̴̧͓̫̜̹̈͗̕A̪̼̠̗̤͍͆Ḷ̬̤̠̰̠ͥ͊ͯ͛̔S̛̛̗̱͕̟͈̪ͥͦ̈́̾͠Ḙ̴̱̬͓͈̽̎͆̄̿̉ ̛̛͖̐ͬ̓ͩE̦̮̣̖̮͗̇̒͛̽́̀M͎̜̬̯ͤ̂͌ͣ̊ͭͦͤP̧̝̱͉̆ͤ̓Eͦ͐̽͟͏͓͕͖̘̤̯̹̝Ȓ̰͉̓̈̍ͧͥ̕͜͞O̝̠͕̼̭͌̏̋͋̅̚Ṟ̷̄ͤ͊͜
͇̜̈́̓̐̆͌̾̀

holy shit nigger, as if there arent enough inquisitor raids already, you want us all to be scorched to death in front of the Imperial Palace or what?

Hey Faggots,
My name is Leman, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, maleficarum who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass data slates. You are everything bad in the Imperium. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten off your planet? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on LorgarBook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was King of Fenris, and am Primarch of the XI Legion. What wars have you been in?? I also have the most military victories in the crusade, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my legion

Any femEldar on /soc/, atm??

Well, I used to order dead ones from rogue traders near the Ultramar sector in the past, but I think they got caught. Something about "GM" and "Rocks fall, you die", I don't know.

I know of some traders posing as gue'vesa near the Tau border though, but the Air caste ones are really expensive, so you best settle for a fat earth caste waifu.

As for eldar girls, I totally got your back. Apparently some ork pirates managed to ram an eldar transport in the neighbour sector. Took all the women hostage as playthings, and are now selling them to the highest bidder for more dakka. Better act fast, though they are a bit "worn".

Higher taxes, them fine dining and bitches aren't free
Make the citizens build you a giant fucking statue and force them to walk under you crotch everyday
Suck some cocks, make some friends and get a small chapter of Astartes so people would know your planet is serious shit
Remember to descend on the planet montly and curbstomp some peasants, that'll help you to stay in power
Also grow a slightly competent PDF force in case you want to go rogue for lulz and shits

Inquisitors should ban this faggot already, fucking script kiddies just running around in the warp like he's some big fucking deal

>orkz merchandize
>not aware of orkz spore sticking to everything
lol stupid fuck, enjoy the new orkz infestation

C̛̹̜ͦ͝O̤̖͖̪̅̈̅͜͟M̭̝͐̎̒̓ͯ̕E̩͇̖̅̉ͪ̄̈́ͮ͋̍͝͠ ̧̯̔ͣ̈́̾́N̵͎͓͈ͦ́̚̚͢Õ̵͔͚͍̪̹͓W͙̯͓͖̰͍̤̱̆̈́̋̉̐ͨ͒̚͞,̙̮̤ͩ̐͌̏͐̌̎̍͝͡ ̴̹̯̻ͧͤ̎M̮̰̯͙̞̻̰͉̈́͗ͥ͠O̻̲͇̭̘̙̲̟ͫ̈̅̓͐ͫ͆̂͢R͚̙͉͉ͯ́̓ͨ͘T͂ͦͫ҉̬͕͇̙Ä͚̘̤̭́̈́̊̍̐̊ͭ̀ͅḺ̭͎̯͕̮͖ͩͨ͂̓̌̍͑́͜
̨̡̖͍͙̘̇̉ͅ
͎̥̪͚͂̈ͭ̾̀ͮ͠Ḓ̵̼͎ͤ͒ͫ͆́͐̑̀͠O̮͔͙̮͐ͮŞ͚̖̩͎̼̄ͬ̅̏̌ͮ͟T̶̷̞̹͚̠̬͉͔̲̓͆̇ͧ͡ ̫̣̼͂̅̽̇͐ͭ͑̽̕͜ͅT̪̫͓͙͇̑̄̆̀͟H̶̡͉͒ͣO͊ͮ̆̾҉҉̠̱̬͈̭̙̫̣U̧̾́̄͏̬̩͖͞ ̨̹̜͖̙͚͖̮ͨ͊͊ͨ͘N̸̞͇̯͙̄̓ͩ̉̇O͙͌ͬ̀̆̓͌͟T̢͍͕̫̯̯ͦ̆̀̄͊͝ ̥̻̯̟̪̗͖̖̳͑͗ͧ̓K̴̛͇͍͎͔͓̫̻̍ͯN̵͆̏̌̂̔͊͋͏͎̞͍͖ͅO̶̹͔̝̦͕̼̳͔̓ͯͮͨ͋ͮ̂̆W̱̙̤͙̠̭͛ͯ̎̋͟͞E̹̤̞͈̺̜ͫͣ̀T̻̔̊̉ͮͮ̇ͧ͂̕H̫̲̭͌ͦͧͣ ̷̦͖͇̻̘̓̇͗͌͆̈́̓̓̓̕͠T̪̱͓̥̱͔̖̦ͯ̆͊ͯ́͟Ḧ̛͇̣̠̺͇̤̠̍͗̚E̲̱͔̬̗̪̻̭̩̒̐̑͊ͨ͂̔ ̢͉̠̱̓̂ͭ͆͞P̋ͫ̾ͤ͏̶͏͉̝͙̙L̤̤̲͈͈̣̯̘ͪ͂̑͒͒͌̋̑ͧ͟Ė̡ͧ͌̐̏҉͎͉̣̟̹͇Aͣ̔͐͐̏͏̙͉̹͍̘͙̪̫̯̀Ş̸͈̜̙̞̆̉ͮ̚Ū̷̷͇̫̣̙̭͎̦ͪR̡̢͍̘͔̬̣̰̗̘͙͗̈̎́E̗̬̾ͪ̌ͨ̈́̋̃͝͡ ̹͒ͥ́̿O͚̭͍ͥ̾̒̀ͥ͗̂̾͆F̈́̆ͯ̽̉͏͈̱ ̧̩̺̥̹̉̋ͧ̄ͧͯ̿ͩF̧̫͔̝͓̤͎̉̆̂̇ͮͅĹ͋̔͂ͫ̄́҉͈̬̮̘̩̪̙E̸̳̙ͦ͑͊ͣ͠S͔̘ͣ̌̍͋̇̑͞Ḩ̸̦͚͇̳̅?͋̀̿͏̨̧̳͙̜̣̝̰̗͓ͅ
̴̢̟̹̤̖̻̺͍̝ͤͥ̅͑ͣ͢
̡͍͙̻̺͎͖͋ͮͭ̆̑̒͐ͪ͢T͉̹̟̄ͧ̅͟Hͥͣ̓ͩ͌ͤ͢҉̴̹Y̰̏̏̽̀ ͓̝̘̟͕͓̣͑̏ͧ́́D̘͚̥̻͚̤͉̪͒̈͌̾̑̑E̲̱̔̒ͫ̃̓̎͑ͫ͑͟S̱̝̩̹̈́̄͆͌̔̒̕Ì̘͙͎̖̫̲̣̝͂ͣͨ̃͒̒ͩ̇͜R̒̄͂̒҉̳̰̤̤͖Ë̗̱̣̱̰̺̟̦͋̏̀͑ ͔̫̞̼̿̄́͋́̔ͬ̌ͨ͠S̷̝͓͉̟͎̤̰ͯ̓̈͝I̶̾͟҉̻͖̜ͅN̗̞̖̭͚̪̖ͮ̍́,̢͒̔ͦ̇̐̃͡҉̺ ̌̂ͣ̀̊͒̇͂҉̪͎͖̤͍̠̪T̈́̍͋ͧ̆҉̣̬̯͔̞̣̪͙R̪̹̜̜̱̤̻̘̽͋ͥͭͅṲ̲̻̯̋ͣ̌̄͒ͬ͜L̻̪̼̱̟͚̝̇̇̓ͯͭ̄̋́Y͎͚̩͇̰͊̓̂̉ͥ͟͡ ̭̈́̎ͅI͔̫ͭ͊ͭ̉̿̓ͯ̐ͨ ̸͙̠̯̣̃̈́́A̸̩͖͉̪̠͓̾̀͘M̛͕͂ͩ ̧̙͚̰̪̳̜̦̼̝ͧA̱̫̪͍̳ͯ̂̽G͌͋ͥ̔̂͏̘͕͓͡H̡̱͆̇ͦ̈ͤ̈́̑͡Â̺̗͓͉͂̌̏͗ͦ̒ͤͅS̨̗͔̰̳̽͋ͮͯͨT̢͕͉̼̠͓ͫ̏̏̆ͨͨ̐ ̬̤͙̯͇̬̀̄͌̏̍̕Y̨̟̳̝͔̒̆́ͯ͒̂ͯͧ͟͠O͔̟̙̘͍̠̮͆̅͐U̶̦̪̞̩̣̮̣͍̒̍̂̎̉͝ ̸̗͕͚͚̺̜̫̓ͦ̐̅͝͠H͎̥̦̖̥̱̐̊̈̾̾́̚A̰͈̣̭̣̪̪͚̱ͦ̎̎̿̅͐̒̄ͨV̸͚̥̯ͮ̃͘E̛̯̠̭̟̲͚̹̯̗͗ ̘͇̥̖͎̩̭̔̌ͫ͒̔̍ͯ͜Ņ̭̥̬̲͓̦͕ͬͥ̈̽̄Ǫ͙͍̗̤͇̦̣̺̪̋̚͟T̻̞͍ͤ̊͊͡ ͎̼̰̭̎ͫ͌͌ͫͫ̋͆͟F̡͔͕̲̞͓͉̭̅̄̿͊̾Ą̨͉̏̓̀L̨̛̺̤̹̘͕͔͖͇̠ͧ̀ͩL̸̗͙̣̪̯̰ͣͣ̓E̡͍̘̗̰̦̹͖̥ͯ̉ͤ̿̉ͫ͜T̰̜̩ͥ̓͂̔ͩ̎͞H̸͓͉̝͉̩͉̱͊
̞̹͔̙̰̮̯͗̐ͪ̓ͯͥ̓̑̀̕͢

>worn
Isn't this like your normal Commorrite gals?
And as said, they must be full of spores by now.

Nah, nah. Eldars are immune to ork spores, though if any of them look pregnant you probably should stay away.

It worries me that there have been an increase in mushroom growth on the planet surface now that you mention it...

holy shit, it's like 4.M31 all over again

Ork infestation has its benefits. Gives you a good excuse to devote half the planetary budget to the PDF.

Humans are mindless husks in 40k, they just obey whatever they are told to obey. They're also arguably the biggest faggets since they have helped the Chaos Gods in their degenerate behavior more than every other race combined, and that includes The Fall. They do this willingly, knowing the consequences, the Eldar didn't realize Slaanesh would be born. Also humans became this level of gay over 2-300 years, it took thousands for the Eldar to become that way.

Humanity is like the lonely asperger kid on /r9k/. Eldar and Necrons are a couple of Chads that have been there, done that. Necrons waking up from a nap, Eldar waking up from a hangover.

the spores stick to their skins, its not whether they are immune or not faggots
also I just filed a report of orkz infestation, kiss your planet goodbye

+THIS THREAD IS NOW PROPERTY OF THE FOURTH LEGION+

+ALL WEAKNESS SHALL BE PURGED, ALL SHALL BE SLAVED TO OUR WILL+

+IRON WITHIN, IRON WITHOUT+

>benefits
>implying getting gutted by green barbarians is anyway beneficial
ill like to see you and all of the richfags in this thread say that to the face of an ork while it's skinning you alive

>stick to their skins
The only thing sticking to their skins is my gene-seeds.
>filed a report
babbys first ork infestation report? I will be long dead before the paperwork leaves terra.

more like:

INSECURITIES WITHIN, INSECURITIES WITHOUT

Massive heretical faggots detected.
GTFO

t. Inquisitor

more like your first report faggot, it was meant for an exterminatus before the orkz can leave your burning planet and grab a space hulk

>but the Air caste ones are really expensive, so you best settle for a fat earth caste waifu.

>not being able to afford a Water Caste waifu

>t.
what does this mean again?
>faggot
that is so M.29

+RESISTANCE ONLY INVITES DESTRUCTION, YOU WILL SUBMIT WEAKLING OR PERISH+

+WE HAVE NO INSECURITIES, WE KILLED THEM ALL+

where do you find these lewds? IS there a collection online somewhere?