Whelp

You deserve this.

this sounds like the origin story of some kind of horrible unique undead.

Everything is a tool to used how the wielder sees fit regardless of your opinion on the matter.

I believe nukes are not to be used lightly as they have huge after effects and are likely to do more harm than good. However ISIS, Kim, and the Holy Republic Sweden Empire might disagree.

Why do you hate fun?

This looks like it is dnd, in dnd creating undead is objectively evil per the rules of the game.
So no you can't get away with that by RAW.

You have an opportunity here to do something great, OP. Don't fuck it up.

>killing only her
>not just having your undead torch the entire damn castle
OP plz, ya'll dumbasses, the best thing to do is if you fuck up extra hard, you murderhobo until there are no witnesses.
its the only way it won't bite you in the ass.

>>Said warlord does the whole "TAKE ANOTHER STEP AND THE GIRL DIES!" thing
>>"I crossbow him in the face!"
damage
>>Warlord doesn't die
>>Kills the Princess
This is the sort of situation where you need a better GM or a different system.

Did the Princess have no class levels or something?

Anyway, OP, tell the king the warlord did despicable things to her, and just have your zombie commit suicide while you are mid negotiations. Hell, have her run shrieking out and jump into the moat while stabbing herself in the throat.

Easy.

user.. a zombie can not run and does not take damage from stabbing itself with a knife....
>The Princess shuffles over to the window attempting to scream well stabbing self in the neck with a knife leaving no noticeable damage.
>Eventually manages to fall into moat where she sits to this day stabbing herself in the neck.
This really does sound like the backstory to some unique undead.

>No damage
>no noticeable damage
These are two different things. You can cut a zombie it just doesn't care about it or take lethal damage from it.

Whatever campaign you thought you were doing, you're now starring in Weekend at Bernie's 2: Zombie Boogaloo

Zombies can be put down with slashing damage and sufficient bludgeoning damage. Just have her walk over to the window, slash her own neck open and jump.

The fall will take her out.

You don't need her to actually die, just look like she takes lethal damage then stop moving.

Hell, have your cleric get there first and cast cure serious wounds on the zombie, then say "I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do."

The issue is she won't bleed.

It was funny because Berny was an asshole. Not as much fun with someone innocent.

Nothing worse then a DM who cannot stretch the system just a wee bit, the warlord should have at least recoiled enough for the princess to get outta his grasp, just for the sake of a hostage situation.

Why?

>attacking everything that moves should solve whatever problem that moving thing causes
Get out and take your intriguing waifu with you.

But that's how we deal with hostages in real life, we blow their head off if we have a sniper around, unless it's a hard shot.

Sometimes the heroes fuck up because they did stupid shit.

A player's gotta roll with those punches just as well as a DM does.

>working with people's souls
>necromancy
Wew lad

It should have been a hard shot to make, penalties on the roll and the like, not an auto-fail.
See

Since when is shooting the hostage taker in the face stupid?

Why would you expect an evil warlord in an obviously fantastical setting to go down from a single crossbow bolt. Real people have survived that.

Since he had the hostage in a position to kill them if it didn't work.
But really killing your hostage is in bad form, they make much better human shields, aka concealment if you keep them alive.

Congratulations, you're practically creating a new iteration of the "lethal female ghost" that every culture seems to have.

>Save me or I'll kill you.

I expect your trousers to be haunted quite soon. Ethereal itch can't be scratched user.

But not even flinch? Come on now.

Shooting the hostage taker is the best route though, you cannot talk down a bandit chief and they were a pretty low level to start, only think I could think of is taking the corpse of one of his men and having it mozy on over to hit him in the back of the head, distracting him, but if he took a bolt to the fucking face and didn't even flinch I doubt a zombie hitting him would.

So cut a hole in her neck, put a blood bag in the hole, then seal her up again.

This isn't rocket science, people.

I'm not sure a flinch would help rescue the princess when said flinching man is (from what I can gather looking at the OP) pressing a knife against her neck.

If we're going full realism here, the flinch would be what got her throat slit

It doesn't even make sense, either. The whole point of that kind of hostage situation is that the baddie is banking on the goodies being unwilling to risk attacking them, for fear of hurting the hostage.

But if the baddie kills the hostage, they've just discarded the only thing keeping the goodies at bay. And if the goodies attack them regardless of the hostage, there's no point keeping the hostage anyway, because it's clear that the goodies aren't afraid of hurting them.

The joke is that the PCs are terrible people.

They had a mage that could make a zombie, I am now curious why the said mage did not have charm person handy for a hostage rescue mission.

Seems there is no way they could have saved her then.
Charm person would be nice, especially since bandits are usually retarded and cannot resist magic at all.

That's because we have absurdly powerful hardware to do so with, and why nobody serious stands in the open with a hostage. Nobody thinks trying to snipe somebody out with a normal weapon is a good idea unless they're a cowboy or have an inordinate amount of time to aim.

"Flinch," maybe. "Instantly lose grip on the person they were preparing to kill if the heroes didn't move," no.

In fact, you could pretty convincingly argue her throat should have been cut before the bolt hit him.

If he's bothering to take her hostage, two things are probably true. One, you probably have something he wants. Two, either saying no isn't going to work well or this world's inhabitants are retarded.

>7 damage
And this is the problem with abstracted damage.
You don't just eat a fucking crossbow bolt to the face and receive no ill effects, you gotta flinch, or something that allows the princess to move out of his grasp.

>no way
Plenty of ways, but going for an unplanned, solo frontal attack when he's got your person of interest at his mercy?

Not exactly the most intelligent course of action. If I were in that party I'd have smacked the crossbowman before he rolled any dice.

If they had a rogue, they could have snuck up behind them to grapple the guy and let the Princess get free. Coup de grace requires a full round action on a helpless target, so if you're in melee range you can probably stop it.

If they had a wizard spell to daze the warlord they could have got over to him.

If they had a spell to heat up the blade he might have dropped it.

If they had waited to talk and let him get unaware they could have tricked him.

If they had shot him in the arm he might have dropped the blade.

No, they shoot him in the face. Nothing else they could have done at all.

Well also let's be fair, the guy probably didn't literally get hit in the face, the op didn't mention concealment used at all, and the guy obviously was in a position to coup de grace the princess and he shot at the guy anyways.
Yeah most people would kill her and try to flee.
Or perhaps the gm just didn't want the shoot every problem in the face, and create undead murder hobos to rape the npc,
OP is probably also bait

Well maybe the OP does and wants to be a crossbow cowboy.
Flinching with a roll to see if she gets away is better than instant death.
>Giving the kings gold to him
We don't negotiate with barbarian scum, King shoulda sent a super pro sniper or some shit to help get his daughter back if we loves her so much.
What would you have done user?

Hang on. He only took 7 damage from a crossbow, but the warlord can instagib the princess? She's gotta have a couple levels Noble by this point, she's probably sitting around 30HP. If he's doing that much in a single swing, then how the fuck did you survive the encounter?

>with a roll to see if she gets away
you mean "with a roll to see if his knife hand tenses up and stabs her in the fucking throat"

OP is most likely bait. I doubt it was a coup de grace though. The whole >"TAKE ANOTHER STEP AND THE GIRL DIES!" thing implies that he was holding a sword to her neck or something, which is still enough leeway in movement that you can't be coup de graced from memory. You need to be asleep or completely bound, which one arm around the shoulder is not. We just don't have enough information.

If I was the GM, you would be in deep shit if you do this kind of crap.

I have a low toleration for stupidity: it begets stupidity.

>Daze, sleep, invisibility, grease, hold person, charm person, summon creature.
I would have picked something that could actually stop him.
Probably coup de grace.

>If they had a rogue, they could have snuck up behind them to grapple the guy and let the Princess get free. Coup de grace requires a full round action on a helpless target, so if you're in melee range you can probably stop it.

I'm sure he has a good haul of goons watching his back, doubt he wouldn't notice you butchering a few to get to him.

>If they had a wizard spell to daze the warlord they could have got over to him.

As usual wizard solves fucking everything

>If they had a spell to heat up the blade he might have dropped it.

Once again, fucking wizards

>If they had waited to talk and let him get unaware they could have tricked him.

True they could have acted like they'd give him what he wanted and then rush him at the last second.

>If they had shot him in the arm he might have dropped the blade.

I dunno man, he took that bolt to the goddamn face pretty well.

maybe the warlord killed her by using her body to block the worst of the crossbow bolt

Cut scene deaths user.
If you wanna put it that way sure, she might survive the damage though, I'm sure they have some sort of healer that can stop the bleeding.
I'm talking about those of us who don't shoot lasers out of our ass, plus their mage sounds retarded.

>Muh perfect outcomes

Fuck off Vaelys

>I'm talking about those of us who don't shoot lasers out of our ass, plus their mage sounds retarded.
Charge the bandit leader and smite the shit out of him.
Talk to him.
Agree to leave if the princess will be safe and come back later now that we know where she is.
Not be a god damn retard.

He got the roll, I don't see what the problem is, if you don't want a perfect outcome make it a bit more complicated. I mean he still has goons all over, maybe they grab her and drag him back for medical attention. But he shouldn't just laugh at the damage.

>lots of henchmen outta nowhere
No mention of them earlier, that's just guessing now.
But still a better chance of doing something than just initiating open combat.

Besides, level 6. They should have potions of invisibility for just this reason.

Ranged disarm is also a thing, though a really crap thing.

Heat metal is a druid spell, by the way.

Also, another option is to heal her before the life leaves her body - I mean, she has to bleed out first in most cases.

But really, lots of things they could have done.

>she might survive the damage though
okay, but you better stabilize her qui- oh wait he drove his sword through her chest because you shot him

>Charge him
I like the way you do things but that princess is fucked.
>talk to him
He is a warlord who wants something the king obviously isn't willing to give up, otherwise the king would have gave him it by now.
>agree to leave
True, sneaking in at night or getting the king to send someone who isn't a bunch of level 6 scrubs would be better. Hell they could even try to rush around and ambush them on the way back to the camp or set up a trap after they report back to the king.

>Holy Republic Sweden Empire
>not Halal Eurabian Caliphate

What warlord doesn't come with a bunch of goons? If he is that stupid the party shouldn't even be in that situation. The rushing over to heal her before she bleeds out is the best option since everyone has a healer, but I think the GM made her instantly die from it.
>stabilize her qui- oh wait he drove his sword through her chest because you shot him
I think you mean
>better slit her throat qui- oh wait the crossbowman just shot me through the fucking face

>ha ha these fags won't attack me while I have this blade directly against this princesses throat
>oh no some jackoff bounced a crossbow bolt off of my helmet and made me slit her dumbass neck open
>well, since these shitheels are obviously out for blood I may as well make their lives fucking miserable before they can kill me
It's almost like hostage situations are actually quite difficult to diffuse.

>helmet
Holy shit, this whole time I've been arguing in the favor of the crossbowman, and I've just been imagining him as a half armored barb. Well shit, sorry about that, wish OP would have told us what he wanted and what he was wearing.

>Sweden
>ISIS
>two different things

LOL

>cut scene death
Yet the BBEG is immune? Mid cut-scene he gets fucking shot with a crossbow and it's "only 7 damage". The moment the numbers come back its not a cut-scene and she should've taken one of his in game attacks. Consistency nigga.

Look, OP didn't mention what the guy is wearing or how many guards there were. For all we know the guy had no armour and his minons were all slaughtered, or this guy was talking to them over videophone and they shot the screen.

Why do this stupid scheme in the first place? "We tried to save her, but we arrived but a moment too late." There are no eye witnesses who aren't you.

He probably had left her at one HP just so the threat would be more effective.

Because they want to get paid.
Also because they are fucking morons.
I mean you saw the post where they shot the guy holding the hostage, most likely mid sentence.

>"You incompetent fools", exclaims the King, "my daughter's blood is on your hands! I'll have your heads!"
>the Royal Guard steps forward
>Roll for diplomacy?

You don't just go "eh we were too late :3" to a King

b-but that goes against the geneva convention

But you can flee the country and live under assumed names.

Yeah, they pretty clearly are morons. But still, if they tell a story that makes it clearly not their fault he ganked her, they could probably have still wiggled a payment for returning her body for a royal burial.

If you make yourselves out to be the incompetent fools, then you didn't tell the right story.

>bandit chops girl's head off
>guys show up too late
>its all your fault huehuehue
Fucking royals

Just bring her head back and say she was an imposter because her blood is red.
Well yeah that is the typical human reaction to blame someone and lash out at them.

Thus begins the comedy of errors. Just keep stacking on the lies. Let this situation get more complicated. If you have a cool GM who'll play along, this is now the campaign, or at least a good few adventures.This is potential for some great gaming right here.

You gotta look for the positives, guys.

Fucking sentients.

>Just bring her head back
I'm pretty sure they'd rather you bring back the full body

like, I'd expect nobles bury royal dead. Not mount their skulls on pikes.

Red blood means she is not royal user.
Imposers do not deserve royal burial.

Itt retarded murder hobos angry that their retarded hurderhoboing had consequences.

>10 minutes later
>Kingdom overthrown by PCs because DM didn't even draw a line of Royal Guard levels

>using hitpoints in a hostage situation
Your GM is a dumb shit

>involves working with peoples souls
Nigger are you retired?

>Doesn't want to put the princess' head on a pike and prance around her former home.

Why even live?

To be fair, this is one of those times when killing someone would actually solve a problem in the real world. Shooting someone in the head is a viable way to resolve a hostage situation. Now if he missed and killed her then they'd deserve the consequences.

>Not marrying zombie princess
>Not waiting for father to die of old age and returning with her to claim her birthright
>Not abducting children and turning them into your brood of zombie children
Why live?

This, this is exactly how my party would handle it.

Kek

>clinging grimly to the rigors of an abstracted health system in a dramatic narrative event

This shit is why I'm foreverDM.

For real though, if you're not a piece of bait, your DM's incompetence has given you a unique opportunity to crash this campaign (or at least this kingdom) with no survivors. Whether you take it or not is up to you.

Also, this sounds a lot like the kind of thing that leads to some legendary undead monster being created.

> After your natural lifespan runs out, become a lich.
> Use illusions to make people think you and your zombie princess are in perfect health and never aging
> Over generations, they start worshipping you as the second coming
> God-Emperor status achieved

Suspension of disbelief ya shit head

>to the normal person its a happy kingdom full of people with little to no cares in the world, a beautiful queen and a honest and friendly king
>people who come to live there never die, the land is prosperous and starvation and crime are non existent
>dispelling illusions reveals everyone is undead beings
>have to decide if you should report them to the paladins or leave them be

>Look down.
>Realize you are an undead being.

The rules are stuck to, because otherwise, when the same exact fucking thing is done by the DM, to the PCs? They throw a fucking wobbler, shitting themselves in rage and come on here to cry about it.

>Faction of good undead
Why don't people do this more often, you would never have to worry about the king dying and his dickbag son taking over, because the king is ruling in death!

Because it's stupid.