Stage 123: A, B, C.
You have the jitters.
While being relatively cold blooded and an incredibly fast thinker, as well as being able to control the body processes that include adrenaline, endorphins, and other adreno-corticosteroids, you've never really been 'jittery'. Even when you're bored, you're not jittery, you just....do things to take up your time. Yes, you do a lot more than most people can manage in the same amount of time....a lot more....it's still just doing things. This is different, and it bothers you on a fundamental level.
No one blames you.
Receiving an imperial Edict from the August Personage of Jade, the Jade Emperor of the Celestial Heavens of China himself, and then having that edict enforced by Amaterasu-Omikami. Is daunting. Having the edict and Ame-no-Horobi-no-Mikado's scepter of office, a white jade ruyi that literally enforces the Mandate of Heaven upon those who possesses it and those that it is used against, is terrifying. Being told to use the power of Horobi to eliminate the servants and demons of the Emperor of Hell, and possibly to kick him out of Japan....you're kind of at a loss as to what to think and feel about there. You're experienced fear before, but this goes way beyond fear.
Part of the issue is that the ruyi is giving you all sorts of feelings and vibes, and you're definitely not used to that. Even when the Nine-Tail kitsune delivered it you could feel the power of it sliding along your skin and making your bones vibrate. Though, that could be the train.