An Imperial fleet is spotted in orbit...

What happens when the Inquisitor asks you why you posted this on a website deemed as degenerate Slaaneshi worship filth by the Ecclesiarchy?

You know all those skull ornaments?

Those are effigies of the Emperor's own skeleton.

>mfw The Blood ravens steal all my shit

reconnaissance

I for one welcome our new Imperial overloads. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted T.V. personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground ceramite mines.

What happens when the qt SoB finds your /d/ folder?

>Asks

user, there is no asking. Earth would practically be begging for a purge in 40k terms, especially considering we somehow know about the in-depth nature of Chaos, the Inquisition and all that.

...

>Implying we're all just a lost colony of Grey Knights

I welcome the Imperial fleet, beg for rescue and armament so that I can join forces with them in reuniting Earth with the Empire. Then proceed to exterminatus all of California and Yurope as primary targets.

>wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Sixty-Three-Nineteen
Link related, the planet that thought it was Earth.

>The Imperial fleet confirms we're in 40k
>Confirms the existence of Chaos
>No Psykers
>No corruption from knowing about Chaos
>No Warp phenomena nearby, ever

No user, we're all Blanks.

Brush up on praising the Emperor, Earth ain't winning this fight.

Haven't read those yet, is it Horus Rising?

When is this and who discovered us?

During the great crusade?
Hope it's a future loyalist division.

In the 40th millennium?

Oh no that entire orbital fleet has popped out of warp 38 thousand years before they left. This is going to cause someone at the Ordo Chronus a headache.

Point at Russia and yell HERESY

I am down for being a blank, I'll probably die horrible somehow/where, but at least I won't get skull-fucked by a deamon.

>Our solar system is a hole in the warp because of so many blanks
>They slowly come towards us from the edge of our systems using normal trusters

Turns out we were intentionally created by the Necrons as a duplicate of the system of holy Terra.

Nothing

Hey, it makes sense that some colony might have named itself "New Terra" back in the day, and over generations upon generations of lost contact that devolved back into just "Earth."

I pray for a swift death as they exterminatus the shit out of the daemon world of slaanesh.

Tell them Sweden is a colony of Xenos and use it to gain favor with the Inquisition

>>No Warp phenomena nearby, ever
Explain the Balkans

kek

Tell them we are being besieged by chaos
>Nurgle in India forbidding poo in loo
>Khorne worshippers in the desert blowing everything up
>Tzeenchians in Israel
>White people having sex changes and being slaaneshi degenerates
>we're starting to see undocumented psykers who call themselves witches
Then sit back and watch the world burn.

Would commence scans on potential infestation.

This explains why I think everyone is fucking disgusting. [Including myself./spoiler]

ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH

>Point out that Australia is under assault by the Tyranids

M41 Missionary fleet, from the Divisio Mandati. Headed by a Rogue Trader vessel.

So the Adeptus Arbites, the Inquisition and the Adeptus Terra are all in account, in Emperor Titans.

Get lit on fire for some reason or other, I'd imagine. Like most Veeky Forums users.

so now the inquistion comes and says our system is under their control, and that we will be used to wipe out chaos.

while cool, this furthers the plot so that means since the plot can't be furthered that either tyranids and or necrons or something else is about to wipe us out before the plot can be furthered.

also the mechanicus would jiss their oil caked robes when they hear that a planet has been found that has rebuilt the first 2000 yrs of 20k yrs of imperial tech all on their own.

Also I personally would worship the emperor like any loyal subject.

>I would worship the Emperor

This.
Just imagine an astartes, a 7-8 feet tall muscle machine in a massive armour and weaponry that can pierce through anything we own. If he tells me they have some sort of fucking sun god dude, I just do down on my knees and ask how do I pray to said dude.

I surrender and volunteer for treason!

>the mechanicus would jiss their oil caked robes when they hear that a planet has been found that has rebuilt the first 2000 yrs of 20k yrs of imperial tech all on their own.

I didn't even think about that. I think humanity just curb stomped the rest of the universe

Earth armies would beat the crap out of any Imperial invasion force, as their lasguns and bolters only have a range of about 50 meters. Heck, their battlecannons only shoot about 150 meters. Our forces would easily keep their distance from their 'twice running speed' vehicles and blast them at a distance with artillery and proper ranged weapons.

I would become very confused regarding fossils, geology, evolutionary history, lack of any other technological development observed anywhere in the galaxy, etc.

They have conquered entire systems with less troops than Nazi Germany sent against Russia.
Shitty numbers work in both ways.

The exact millisecond we started to make any meaningful headway, the Imperial Navy would remind us all how we struggle to get out of our own gravity well with anything more than a couple tons of civilian payload.

Ships in orbit win. Every time. No exception. Put up enough of a fight on the ground, you just shift the calculus of combat towards the "Fuck it, we'll rebuild over the ashes" side.

So we're a planet of blanks I guess? well they can't move us off planet in great numbers as we'll stall their ships in the warp probably, so we'd probably give a small blank tithe and then reverse engineer the shit out of any and all tech they decide to hand us.

We'd be unfindable by chaos, and probably by tyranids too as we'd give no warp signal to attract them. the eldar would avoid us like the plague, the orks wouldn't be able to get a rokk to us and the necrons probably put us there.

We're kinda....safe? ish?

A better question is what would happen if the Tau found us, then the imperium.

>So we're a planet of blanks I guess?
Planet of wank more like.

We would win cuz all their troops have big plastic discs stuck to their feet rendering them immobile. Also, they only fight for six rounds then either declare themselves the winner or rage quit.

You know, there was an interesting UFO photo floating around a few years ago...

There would be a very awkward scientific convention boiling down to "Good news we're not alone in the Universe but bad news it's Catholic Space Nazis, also science may now be illegal.

science wouldn't be illegal. just more heavily supervised.

Bullshit.

Please don't be bullshit... I want to believe...

There were several other pics. None of them are proportioned quite like any 40k spaceship mini, so it isn't just a photo filter, but they certainly bear a more than passing resemblance to Imperial ships. This one seems to have gothic arches around its windows.

>as their lasguns and bolters only have a range of about 50 meters.

That's something called "Average engagement range," user. If you're going off RPG stats, 50m is the point where a character can reasonably hit the target without any penalty. Past that point they begin to recieve negative To Hit modifiers. Lasguns repeatedly fire AT LEAST 150m in the fluff, and have on multiple occasions been accurate in the hands of a trained professional at 300m. Bolters are essentially the same, though physics affects them more because they're actual projectiles rather than hard light.

>Heck, their battlecannons only shoot about 150 meters.

Again, if you're using RPG stats, that's before they begin to incur negative To Hit penalties for distance if they don't have special training (i.e. what soldiers have).

>Our forces would easily keep their distance from their 'twice running speed' vehicles

Imperial Vehicles are designed to take on threats we can't even fathom. Using shitty numbers pulled out of somebodies ass 20+ years ago instead of canon descriptions of how the vehicles operate in multiple fluff sources is just wanking yourself off.

>and blast them at a distance with artillery and proper ranged weapons.

We have Stubbers and Autoguns at best,which are so common in the 40K universe that they're pretty much only used by cults and backwater planets too poor for actual weapons. Our artillery is a joke compared to Imperial artillery.

6/10 bait made me respond

I think the Ordo Chronus paradox suicided.

>Praise the Holy Emperor
>Grab mosin nagant
>Grab stripper clips
>Grab camos
>Grab Lecticio Divinatus
>Go innaheretics
>Do Emperors bidding.

the rpg stats reflect that. A lasgun or bolter has an extreme range of 400m in dark heresy. A battlecannon is 3km IIRC

This is the one case in where the Imperium would try to go for a corvert method rather then an outright brutal method especially when you start having nations like the United States, Russia, China and the UK. Most of these countries aren't going to give shit up without starting a massive fucking fight over it.

They are, but if all you do is look at the table without learning about the range modifiers, you'll only see "50m" and think that's the total range.

That's what I meant when I said, "if all you do is read the RPG stats."

Aside from panic because the worst setting for civilian life in general is real? Probably celebrate that all of our stupid shit just got resolved in one way or another, and hope that I know enough about the setting to do well for myself.

It's a fight all of them would lose, and with very little effort on the Imperiums part, but it would still happen.

Of course then X-Com gets activated.

Laugh in the face of every idiot from /r/atheism that told me this could never have happened.

>tfw XCOM reverse engineers space marines
>tfw XCOM reverse engineers psykers

After the age of strife, emps realized that Holy Terra probably wouldn't last forever, so, in greatest secret, he had constructed Emergency Backup Terra

kek

...

>its backup terra
>literally everything is a blank
i'm ok with this.

>tfw you just thought of the best strategy game crossover ever

because it's made out of the same crazy-future-materials that their starships are made out of, duh

Depends... when are we found? the end of the 41st?
Because we'd be fucked.
Like, between Chaos getting ready for round 2 on Terra, the Nids coming in ready to eat everything, and the Necrons waking up from their nap.
We would be FUCKED.
So.
Panic.
A lot.
ON THE OTHER HAND
If we are found during some... less shitty age, I guess I'd enjoy the perks of Imperial technology. Maybe join the Mechanicus.

Start preaching the word of the Omnissiah in the hopes of becoming an AdMech menial.

It's not uncommon in Stellaris to have a second Sol system complete with it's own human civilization on Soll III. They just don't name it Earth or Tera for some reason.

Not really. 2k millennium tech is crap by IOM standards.

true but our knowledge of technology hasn't stagnated. Given how most of the mechnicus relies on psudo-religious instruction manuals to keep their shit running it wouldn't be unreasonable to believe we could reverse engineer at least some of the new tech.

provided we could somehow convince the cog boys to let us.

Most of the low level enginseers don't know shit, yes.

But the higher-level Magos actually know a lot about how their shit works, even though it's intermingled with a lot of religious stuff. They have actual knowledge of space-science that is super advanced -- and that is the real problem with the tech, not how a lasgun works. They know that. They can't figure out how to cool off a plasma gun though, not because of lack of knowledge and dogma, but because it works well enough and the higher-ups have a lot of bigger stuff to care about rather than reverse-engineer and fix it, like finding an STC with a better working version.

even so. the inquisition for one would welcome a faction with some technical know how that doesn't serve the mechanicus. after all they've been trying to decode their binary language for years and we could certainly do just that.

True, the mere fact that we don't have a culture of occultism regarding tech makes our scientists very useful, provided we can learn space-science (we probably can, Dark Age of Technology humans were just us but wearing spandex)

Hey what about culture and hobbies.
With the rest of the imperium be flooded with non-propoganda movies?
Will space marines enjoy playing vidya games?
Will sisters of battle enjoy reading books that aren't about how witches are best cooked well done?

Try and get offworld before the Inquisition gets a look at /d/ and declares Exterminatus

I would blow my brains out, because the exterminatus is coming

Praise be to Slaanesh!

Start summoning shit and see what happens. Hopefully I'll get a few gifts before I die.

Even Princedom if things go really well.

/k/omrade!

the imperium isn't that well connected. relative too its size communication and travel is comparable to travelling around medieval europe.
Each system or sub sector is usually its own isolated culture that occasionally has contact with officials and tithe collection. A single planet can go generations with seeing an Imperial guard presence until a surpise ork invasion has them call for aid using near forgotten protocols.

we may have a small influence on near by systems and they'll influence us. But there won't be any more than a local effect.

Actually, bolters and lasguns have ranges past two kilometers. The longest bolter shot was made by an Iron Warrior with a bolt pistol at 2.5 kilometers in Siege of Castellax. Las sniper rifles have a range just under 2,500 meters.

Isn't Earth Terra though?

In the book I'm reading, the names are used interchangeably, and I always thought they were the same since that is where Humans are from.

it is yes.

But some planets where blasted literally back too the stone age durin the age of strife and have been isolated for tens of thousands of years.
Such a planet could think they are the original Earth/Terra and refer too their world as such. There's even an example of this in the fluff.

Nah bro, the tech specs are given in equivalency to steel, and the ratings given are about (IIRC) 1/3 - 1/2 what a modern main battle tank boasts. IE, an Abrams would eat a Leman Russ for breakfast in a head on fight. In fact given the relative range of the main guns, ONE Abrams would wipe an entire convoy of Leman Russ as long as the engagement starts from 20 miles or so apart.

Didn't Horus before heresy fought against some plants that insisted that it is the original Earth?

>equivalency to steel
What kind of steel?

yes

....maybe this insn't the original earth.....

Or.. if this is Terra, that would mean the Emperor is alive somewhere...

He'd still be under the radar, having not outed himself as a undying god.

I wonder what country he's in....

what if he's Trump?

or a Rothschild...

Or the leader of ISIS.

What. What fucking windows
It looks like a bug flew into a pane of glass someone cast a luminescent over it and then took the photo while shaking their camera like a British nanny shakes babies and ran it through all of the instagram filters

Or that homeless guy I gave $20 the other day.

in my defense, I only gave him a $20 because he looked like the emperor....

maybe I should have asked.