Ancient Evil Thread

Having a landlord like that will make sure you'll pay your rent on time.

That's pretty much what Tzar Peter The Great did when he wanted to make Russia strong and modern.

R'lyeh is the 4'th Rome.

Or it will be with a bit of work.

Right. It needs a lot of work on it. Such ridiculously long time underwater doesn't work well for alien architecture.

>An Ancient Good awakens
>It was sealed away by the forces of evil millenia ago
>Now, foolish evildoers have accidentally set it free

I mean, that one weird sliding door thing still worked pretty well.

>an ancient evil awakens
>checks the clock and sees he woke a few hours before the alarm
>mutters and goes to sleep again

>Ancient Evil discovers that the Ancient Good awakened
>If it gets the upper hand it will be NO FUN ALLOWED
>The two meet on the battlefield and simultaneously try to blow each other up
>All of a sudden they both end up in bed
>Ancient Good actually was tsun for Ancient Evil

Agreed.

Ancient Evils need their beauty sleep for the end of the world.

This is literally the plot of the new DOOM.

And it was the Daemons fault they pissed him off.

Doom 4 is literally a daemon bullying simulator.

Well, Hayden isn't exactly evil(he sure as fuck plays jumprope with the line though), but other than that. pretty much.

From a previous thread

> The horrid thing sloughed towards me on it's innumerable limbs.
> Squelching and gibbering it tuned it's eye stalks to stare at my face.
> In the back on my mind a voice older than time asked one terrifying question,
> "Why haven't you called your mother this week? You know she wants to hear from you."

>the ancient evil awakens to discover technology has increased to the point of eclipsing it's power and it's been rendered largely impotent

>one day you look in the mirror and cough
>a million yawning mouths slither from your mouth and nose and eyes in your reflection, subsuming it all into one writhing mass
>what used to be your form, twisted and pressed into sanity-rending shapes, says
"don't forget to floss"

>An Ancient Evil awakens
>Is a megalomaniacal sort, happy to crush the nations of mankind beneath unspeakable appendages
>Just wants to rule the world and run shit right though
>Completely flips its shit over all the petty, misery inducing, soul crushing crap humans do to each other though
>Adores kids. Gods help you if you ever hurt a kid. Hell would be salvation compared to the nightmare punishments this thing has dreamed up.
>Is terrified of birds though

>the ancient evil awakens to discover mankind has slowly started doing all the horrible shit it was gonna do by itself and he's largely irrelevant

>Ancient evil awakens.
>Acts like a teenage girl.

>Ancient evil becomes depressed and slumps into alcoholic delirium
>It's scaring the children
>People can't bear to see it ruin its life like this
>Adventurers take it on a road trip and help it find new meaning in life
>It's probably bowling

It would be a risky gamble. All I had to do was undercut my competitors and make a few shady investments. It meant that some men would lose their jobs, maybe their careers. Good honest men. Nothing illegal about it, it's just strictly business. All I had to do was press enter on the keyboard and I'd be rich! But something is stopping me! It's in the corner watching me. It's looks like something you would get if you crossed a armadillo and a flamingo complete with a upside down dog head and spray painted puke yellow. It's not doing anything but watching with those expressionless eyes. I know what it is, I know what it's thinking, and it won't do anything if I JUST PRESS THIS BUTTON! I CAN'T! I CAN'T STOP CRYING! OH GOD I HATE MYSELF!

>get rune that let's you glory kill from further away
>get rune that speeds up glory kills
>become Wesker

Here you go

Talk about well meaning...

And then they ask why the East is superior

>Ancient Evil awakens
>Sees the world conquered by evil corporations
>The stuff they are doing is much, much worse that what it planned
>Ancient Evil becomes the hero that the cyberpunk world deserves

Literally Lord Dominator from Wander Over Yonder...minus the Ancient part and instead of awakening she arrived from another galaxy.

I despaired as the chanting of the cultists reached it's crescendo. I had sought to prevent the summoning, and failed. Tied to a nearby tree I could only watch in horror as rift opened in the fabric of space above the stone circle they had raised in the midst of this primeval forest.

Through the breach in our reality I witnessed the mad swirling of ultimate chaos. I saw shapes undefinable by euclidean geometry. Strange, indescribable radiations illuminated the scene, as a vast amorphous form forced itself into our reality.

I laughed and howled with madness as the utmost abomination was made manifest before me. I felt reality itself curdle around me and knew our world would never be the same.

My next memory is awakening in the woods. My bonds had been cut, and a blanket draped over me. With a sore throat and stiff limbs I slowly made my way back to my car.

As I drove back to the city the frantic yammering of the radio informed as to what had been unleashed upon our world. AIDS, at long last, had been cured.

youtube.com/watch?v=PQj8xOknzKc

Adorable.

Sweet.

>I can feel it moving... inside me
>I see it contorting, bulging beneath my flesh
>Oh god it hurts... oh god help me
>Ugh...AGHHKKK!!!
>Its spilling out of me, out of every orifice!
>I fall to the floor coughing and gagging, sobbing like a frightened child
>it coalesces in a pool on the floor...
>A-A face! A face in the pool!
>I clasp the sides of my head, oh Christ make it stop!
>Its speaking to me! Speaking! Ha! HAHAHAAHAHHA!
>'Here, mate, go easy on the fags, its a right fuckin mess in there.'

> An Ancient Evil awakens
> The whole world has already turned evil
> All the young evils make fun of him for being
old
> Ancient Evil turns into Ancient Emo

>An ancient evil awakens
>SHIT IM LATE FOR ANIME SCHOOL
>It flees the planet with toast in its many mouths, wearing a sailor dress

>And then they ask why the East is superior
More like the East is for pussies who don't have the balls to put the /d/ in the West. Yes, I would stick it in Nyarlathotep and laugh and laugh, and die horribly and suffer till the ends of time, but I'll be laughing while screaming.

>Ancient Evil awakens in modern day
>he's powered by pure human suffering
>after aeons of planning, he's decided on the optimal way to extract their pure misery
>goes around causing massive traffic jams and driving like an asshole for no particular reason
>fondles all the fruit at the grocery store, price matches mercilessly with old coupons, and pays in small denominations
>tries to guilt you into signing petitions for arbitrary nonsense that he doesn't quite understand
>talks about how he's a vegan and everyone who eats meat is awful
>complains to congress in order to ban fun things and create generally bullshit laws
>vapes obnoxiously in public

>An ancient evil woke up a bit too early and decide to take out the trash before going back to sleep.
>the trash is your group.

This is literally the plot of Shadow Quest