Things you don't want to find in a dungeon

...

Your own grave and a time machine.

...

>Lit candles mean something at least moderately intelligent gas been there quite recently

Oh no, I'll have to fight and kill something that keeps its treasure in neat boxes. Who would have expected such resistance from his fellow man, in an abandoned crypt of all places? What horror.

As a dungeon-diving explorer, I could not have foreseen the possibility of facing a human being in deadly combat, breaking his body, and spilling his blood.. and all this toil and foulness for some dusty coins and gilded baubles? It is a travesty beyond measure, such a senseless waste of human life, to trade a stranger's blood for trinkets that could be bought in a store.

...

Fury Road 2 when?

I get it

POO!!! xD

The true meaning of friendship.

Thats been the quest reward for 2 of the last 4 dungeons I have explored, and frankly my party and I are sick of it.

I found Waldo!

Loot more.

babies

Fuck off.

That's Wally weeaboo faggot

Stop playing mlp shit then.

The naked bodies of an adventuring party that you know are stronger than your party.

A giant sign emblazoned with the words "COMBAT IS NOT CONSENT"

We found that once. Lucky for us they managed to kill the hardest of that floors 4 sub-bosses and died to the second hardest. Probably already wounded from the first fight

The GMs discarded patience.

Another dungeon.

Or the "dungeon"'s uvula.

really really obvious bait that you just know one person isn't going to be able ti ignore.

I did that to my d&d group awhile back, they were in over their heads and low on supplies, and the final big bad of the temple said if they pressed on they could fight, but he'd let them walk if they dropped what they'd looted.

It was pretty fun, I wouldn't dream of doing it more than once in a campaign though.

>Or the "dungeon"'s vulva
ftfy

I don't get it.

The "dungeon" must have some very interesting bodily topography if you're encountering external anatomical features while within it.

No, faggot, I meant what I said.

I have always wanted to do this image as a room in a dungeon crawl and have it be a chain devil

>Dungeon's uvula
So it's a girl dungeon...

>chained up women (One of my DMs kept implying rape everytime we met a captured woman and I really dont care for that shit)
>Empty room with an altar
>Empty room with a giant, creepy painting
>Room with a lot of strange corpses and skeletons lying around
>A chamber with a cave entrance in it. The cave leads down into the earth with no light in it.
>Giant sealed coffin
>Long hallway leading to a giant stone door
>Murals on the walls depicting horrible things, usually of the BBEG commiting terrible crimes.

This is already making the rounds,huh?

Kek

Somebody's already looted the place.

I don't know which is worse. The DM or the guy who wrote that. I certainly wouldn't want to play with either of them.

You open a door to reveal a dark empty room with a single wooden chair at its center.

>Nope

>do this image as a room in a dungeon crawl and have it be a chain devil

Just try not to be surprised when your players' trust for NPCs starts dropping

What's the context here?

You trust an empty room with nothing but a chair?

Depends on how much magic armor or resistance I have on me at the time.

A DM worth his dice would not make such an unremarkable and vaguely-spooky room unless it was for the express purpose of throwing you off or fucking your shit up. You walk into that room half-assed, you know something horrible is going to happen.

Also, think to yourself about what kind of room is dark, and empty but for a single simple chair. People were probably tortured in that room.

...

That or maybe they're in a room which they've been to already and they've stuffed up the map.

Public restrooms.
Safety rails on the chasms.
Subway trains that actually run on time.
A geriatric orc in gray coveralls, pushing a broom.
70s era burnt orange carpeting and egg chairs.
More than one cat.

...not if you end up walking through a portal-door at some point...

An oubliette filled to the brim with long dead adventurers that look suspiciously like our party. All of them. That just tells me something really fucky is going on with time and space.

>Actually pull this on a group, with the word written on a metal plate in an otherwise useless cave in a language one PC knew
>They spend 5 minutes trying to solve the mystery and take it with them just in case

This comic is like half a joke followed by a non-joke.

You so mean mr devil :(

user says the first funny thing in a tiny veiled fetish thread.
>Fuck off.
You are the worst.

What is wrong with you.

go away

Biovats containing the PC's bodies. (The adventuring party are the clones, cue unspeakable evils and possible mirror fight.)

Mobile, hula dancing tropical flowers

A mother-in-law, possibly undead.

I see it as so specific it has to be a ritual. Like a demon has to be in this dungeon and generally that's gonna be too high level for most people

BUT THEY'RE ADORABLE.

Your last camp site caked in dust.

Beware the cute ones

Waking up with your campsite caked in dust

>Beware the cute ones
This nigga

Things you don't want to lose in a dungeon

A well lit room with a chest in the middle/far end. It's always a trap.

rust monster.

>archives

No loot.

>70s era burnt orange carpeting and egg chairs

Dude, stop. You'll have the millennials crying in their safe spaces.

My DM gave us an 'enchanted' orb.
Its just a glass orb, but every time its in a campaign, i get beaten to death by it

Giant humanoids, in an enclosed space that would freak me out.

kek

Two crabs with a ballista, waiting for you to round the corner.

Unlabeled levers.

These was good trips

How is she not tied down? Her arms are pretty heavily entangled.

Unless you mean that the chains aren't secured to anything.

>Subway trains that actually run on time.
This is legitimately disturbing if you think about it and know about what that implies.

Treasure sitting in a large empty, dark room, with nothing guarding it.

All the chains on her arms are pulled taut from above, none of the chains bind her legs or prevent her from standing, which would allow her to raise her arms and ditch the chains with ease.

A feathery woman(?) promising the absolute best sex in the history of ever.
The Illusionist hit that, and we've had him on suicide watch since then, because he's already had the best sex ever, what else is there to look forward to?

What is the implication?

please elaborate user

The only way for the subway trains to run on time is if there's no people for them to pick up.

>a apprentice

Congratulations you passed one of the perception checks on the image.

>kill random people for hours on end because they were just around a certain item you needed
>thugs (who you just dispatched) raped a woman (who you saved)
>now you've gone too far
Either it's Monty Python or grimdark, but don't be a puss if you're playing in a more serious setting. Fucking nu-male.

Or they're Japanese.

But it's the GM's Magical Realm

It means the BBEG is Benito Mussolini. And your DM hasn't heart of Snopes.

>Japanese
>people

I've been to Osaka and it really helps if you see the morning commute more as an all-consuming monochrome wave of suits rather than people.

>As a dungeon-diving explorer, I could not have foreseen the possibility of facing a human being in deadly combat

The problem is not intelligent human beings.

The problem is intelligent...other things.

Humans are far from the worst intelligent thing to face down in the depths.

>Go dungeon diving in the depths
>The lobster people stab you
FUCK

The bane of every succession fort.