Post and or share your best ways, methods and theories on how to befriend or even make romance with the sharp-ears. I guess one could even post that screencap of that other list of how to be prosperous with elves.
C'mon teeg, y'all love discussing and talking smack about elves.
Do something to protect nature or forest critters.
I go to Greenpeace rallies just to hit on elven bitches.
Who cares? Just rape them.
They come around in the end.
Can we talk about traditional games instead? I just know that this thread will be erp in just ten posts. And ebin memes like that one above my post.
>sharp-ears
Is this supposed to be an insult?
That's literally a compliment.
Are you some sort of ultra-retard?
>makes the same shitty thread a thousand times over
Oh god, I'm sorry, I thought you were just pretending. I didn't mean to call you a retard.
Sorry.
>ten posts
>ten
You're optimistic.
Eww, what, fucking elves? That's disgusting and you should feel ashamed. Knife-ears are to be erradicated, you shouldn't grant them the privilege of being fucked by a human and producing hybrid abominations.
Well I'd say we can befriend the knife-ears and make allies with them with a little help with HFY courtesy from the previous elf thread about a week ago:
It's still shit and will forever be shit.
Seconding this. Also, am I the only one in this thread who would pay 5 bucks to see OP get raped by niggers?
>knife ears
Is that another compliment?
Also, please, never post again.
All of that is cringeworthy enough to cause a stroke.
>reasons you jack off before posting
Example a: this thread
I guess this just my inner /k/ speaking, but those seem like a pretty neat way to make friends with powerful elves; alliance and having them bug help from us through superior firepower.
>knife ear is now a compliment
I'm sorry but since when was it a compliment? I thought 'knife-ear' is the go-to and most common insult towards elves that Veeky Forums Templars use against 'em
>I guess this just my inner dumbass weeaboo NEET speaking
Fixed that for you.
/thread
Befriend one with good taste in fantasy armor.
In response to all that /k/-humanity-fuck-yeah madness.
>oh well best just post elves instead
>...i guess
Why does he talk like a retard?
And why do you don't know how greentext works? Is this your first day on this site?
How is it not a compliment, spoon-ear?
It's comparing an attractive physical feature to a tool and weapon of value and beauty, while simultaneously describing what people use to hear with an object whose defining feature is sharpness.
No user, you're not the only one.
Because he's an elf.
Couldn't you be a bit more creative? The high elf-variant has bonus INT in many settings and systems, only the wood elves sometimes with less or average intelligence.
The maker's first language isn't english
Nukes and sufficient lack of responsibility to actually use them.
The business end of my sword wants to befriend the entire elven race.
plz leave the internet.
...
I imagine this crusade will go about as well as the last four.
At least post the whole thing.
>Be male
>Appear vulnerable
>Be isolated and unattended
>"Accidentily" make a detour to through the bad part of the forest
Sooner rather than later, you'll encounter a group of brown elf amazons. They'll bully you, grope you and tell you that a handsome boy like you shouldn't wander around in the forest all alone. After that they'll either accompany you to their village or drag you there by force, after which a highly ritualistic form of fistfighting takes place between the elf women who found you. The winner gets to take you to their hut, where your marriage is consumated.
Don't tell them
>"B-but I don't even know you that well!"
>"C-can't we just talk?"
>"I-I'm a virgin!"
That'll only turn them on even more.
I think I already told you to kill yourself in another thread.
You forget to say, that you must be Handsome...
I doubt that a sharp-ear would ever go out with me...
Enslave them biologically
>NTR
FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
Nothing wrong with NTR, it is the hottest growing fetish right now and soon it will be all that circles can write about
That has all the subtlety of a political comic
I think most of us were just too embarrassed to pay attention to that thread
>meme50
Why is this allowed?
how exactly do people fetishize being a broken hearted singleton loser?
Ask /r9k/
But they don't seem to be happy or aroused about being broken hearted singleton losers
Ragefaps?
I don't think everyone imagines being the loser
I heard that people were being Befriended in here.
when i play a DnD game i find the best way is to enslave them.
I have a hard time making friends with elves when i play. Its mostly the people who play them are asses. If you meet or talk to enough of them you might find a decent elf who is polite.
Elves are a huge part of traditional games. i know that with elves most of them are weeaboo fags but you cant just say they are not apart of the DnD universes that most people make.
This thread is about discussing elven relationships not just sex fantasies. It is also about talking smack as OP said and i would smack a few elves myself.
Are you saying elves would survive a crusade?
...
Please just fuck off and or die already.
I find it impossible not to read this in Steve's voice.
Imagine him being a crazy druid in a fantasy setting nature show he broadcast on crystal balls throughout the land. I would be down for that.
>implying they don't have their own WMDs
>we got Dragons! Giant Armors
How cute
learn to greentext properly nextime
>24 hours after deployment of an Elven "Green Bomb"
>Even if their military forces are defeated Elven bioweapons continue their assault indefinitely
>the Elven "Green Bomb" basically turns the blast radius area into a forest
Great, the Yandere Wood Elves are taking over.
Wood Elves and Elder Scrolls Bosmer approve
God elf fags are such weeaboos. Could you all just stop with this shit.
The best way to make friends with an elf is to be gay. If you want a more intimate relation... still be gay.
What I'm saying is elves are fags
Seriously.
Stop posting.
You. Stop.
Since elves are such weeaboos just post some anime elves if you want so e elf friends. Maby you can talk about how "the" you are.
*Tsundere you are
...
This is, once again, a message for you to quit being the worst poster on this entire board.
Or, at the very least, have the courtesy to use a trip, so that people can filter you and your apparently incurable and persistent retardation.
I mean, fuck, are you really this stupid and lame? For your sake, I hope you're just pretending to be the dumbest faggot.
Marcille, the whole point of these threads is to make you cry.
...
I can do handsome, but Handsome will be tricky.
Wouldn't there be a fair number of Elves who would look to humans for flings, knowing they're not a part of Elven society and will pass away within a few decades.
Whereas a society where everyone lives to be 500+ years old probably wouldn't be very sexually permissive. I mean, a bastard child would take a century to bring up. And just imagine how much trouble someone like Casanova or Lord Byron would have caused if they'd had centuries to perfect the art of seduction.
At least you have the decency to use a trip.
Thank you for letting me filter you.
If that post triggered you what part of these threads won't?
The part where you also start using a trip already.
So hypothetically if I change a letter in my trip can you see me again? I'm new at this.
So what is it? Did your wife leave you? Did your dog get hit by a car? Did your janitor application get rejected, again?
you know i came hoping for some technically work safe elf lewds, shoulda known it would be another argument about genocide.
They can just filter your name too, but please don't trip.
For that to happen, those anons who take the quality of their imageboard very seriously and that awful samefagging hfy smutfag that no one likes have to be away from the thread during primetime.
I noticed when that faggot pops in to whine and ask if this is the new /wst/ despite there being no pastebins you have a successful lewd thread.
dude if you dont like this then leave your the only one bitching. i know you hate when people call elves weeaboo and fags but maybe you should stop posting and reading the threads? maybe the problem is just you?
So i would like to add a story about a good elf friend of mine. he would always be a stereotypical elf and everyone in the party hated him for being a cunt. Anyone one day we decide to have a good old fashion bar fight. it was all good and fun and i started to have a little respect for the elf.... till he pulled out a bow and arrow.....becuse lethal weapons is how you make friends.
...Can we just keep posting elves instead?
What if they destroy entire homeworlds on their own?
this gut knows how it works.
look i posted a not weeb elf.
Almost as though elves exist as Mary Sue cocksuckers in the first place.
There's a huge difference in how elven and human wmds can be dealt with though: The results of a green bomb can be taken care of with napalm or even a bunch of dudes with flamethrowers. Trying to napalm or flamethrower the results of a nuke just results in everything being irradiated AND on fire.
Interspecies sexual viability being the statistical impossibly that it is, and with my interpretation being that half-breeds couldn't genetically exist, I'd fuck this whore up and down the continent.
You ever tried to clear a jungle with flame or defoliants? It's not that easy and has a lot of side effects on your troops. And that's just normal plants, not whatever kind of magically enhanced shit the elves could use.
I mean tossing in assassin vine seeds and tendricilous spores would mean the jungle would fight back against whoever tried to clear it.
I wonder what it would look like with Attenborough instead of Irwin.
Dealing with Elves is easy, as long as you know which ones you're dealing with.
The Wood Elves are very slow to warm up to mortals, in part because of their stereotype that humans are compulsive liars. They can't lie, you know, every time they break their word they age a little bit, so they're very fastidious when it comes to being truthful, and the casualness with which humans lie disturbs them.
They also eat people, which probably prompts some emotional distance from mere prey like you and I. If you want to make friends, try emulating them. Always keep your word, don't give frivolous and deceptive answers like "I'm fine" when you actually aren't, and don't be a pussy. They're a culture of hunters and warriors, if you're not one, the natural third category is slave/food, and nobody wants to be friends with their food.
Now, Sea Elves... You don't really need my help to make friends with them, just be at the bar when they come into port and you'll be swimming in ears before sundown. Be careful, though. You might have noticed the smell by now, like quinine? That's their sweat, it kills insects on contact, drives most pests away. It's great if you don't want to catch malaria, but it tends to cling to you after a while and a lot of people get sick of it. Try eating lemons, that'll make the queasiness go away. If you end up screwing one (and you will, if you drink with them) don't expect it to be a thing, they don't really 'do' long term relationships. The ones who do are shunned as perverts by their fellow, just so you know. Don't enable degeneracy.
Anyway, just be sure you don't imply that you're a sailor or anything like that, they tend to take offense to the idea that our "ships" are actually seaworthy.
Now, on to Iron Elves...
I want to kiss a beautiful dark elf woman.
Take your pick user.
Now the Iron Elves live in those big iron arcologies you see every once in a while. They've got some sort of pathological fear of the outside, and supposedly they can die if they leave their enclosures for too long. I don't know how true that is but they seem to take it seriously.
As you'd expect they're very curious about the outside world and about humans, but they're also social retards who fear intimacy and are used to retreating from the world into the privacy of their rooms. They might like superficial conversation, but actually getting into one's shell (much less her pants) will be difficult. I hear their government basically has to force them to breed at all, so you can imagine how hard it is to nail one on the first date. My advice, find one with a hobby that doesn't put you to sleep and try bonding with them that way. Some of them are into stuff that might interest the average adventurer, like knife-collecting, or firearms. Even if you don't get some chocolate engineer poon out of it, you might have a potential fence for any magical weapons you want to pawn off after sweeping a dungeon.
Last, and probably Least, the High Elves. Purple Elves. Sky Elves. Laser Elves. Whatever you want to call them, they're famously snobbish and arrogant. Now, this is normal. If you lived in a breathtaking magical city and could cut things in half with your eyes, you'd be a snob too. Luckily for you, they're also bored, decadent, and totally amoral. You may never befriend one of these androgynous cunts, but if you're looking to snort a bunch of drugs and go joyriding on a flaming chariot across a sky-highway made out of golden wire and hunt ducks with a mana cannon, try drinking with these guys sometime. Also, be prepared for some ethically questionable orgies. The kinkiest, most disturbing shit you can imagine? That was probably all the rage 500 years ago. The High Elves are avant-gard when it comes to degeneracy. Have fun.
Bottom left.
Nothing like breaking open a harsh cold exterior to get at the soft and loving side within.
>starts gibbering at me in her little flute language
well, I enjoyed the posts
>>knife ear is now a compliment
>I'm sorry
The unexplained ability to give birth to a statistically worrying amount of any given's settings villains. Including the strongest evil mage around, usually.
given setting's*
Some folklore or other had "hunger grass": people walking through literally starved to death, like if the land itself was taking their energy.
I bet fa/tg/uys would love to have a patch of it.
What if I'm just handy?
This I like
We're all pullin' for ya buddy.