Slaaneshi sect

A Slaaneshi sect proposes you to join them. As long as you serve them with fidelity and devotion, and agree to perform the deeds they request from you, they will invite you in rituals that will lead you to live the most intense and extreme experiences you ever dreamed of - food, sexuality, entertainements without limits.
What do you do?

I report them to the nearest imperial authority. Even if I was interested in that sort of thing, it's obviously a trap, and most definitely not worth a after life of eternal torture.

"Is this testing whether I'm a replicant... or a lesbian, Mr Deckard?!?"

I'm morally bankrupt and looking for a good time, so I'd take then up on that offer

"Good choice my follow imperial citizen, the empire needs men like you. Anyway, can you still follow us in a other room..."

The only pleasure I need is that which I derive from venerating the Emperor and striking down His enemies

Aight, but no butt stuff.

YES, BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN THE DUALITY! TAKE ME IN YOUR WLECOMING ARMS, BATHE ME IN THE BLESSINGS OF HER WHO THIRSTS AND PUT AN END TO MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE! GIVE BEAUTY AND MEANING, GIVE ME ASPIRATION THAT WILL MAKE ME FINALLY WHOLE! PRAISE BE THE SNAKE, PRAISE BE SLAANESH THE DARK PRINCE!

Probably, I'm more of a tzeench or nurgle kind of guy. Depends on who approaches me first you know. As long as it's advancing chaos im down.

Please, the only pleasure I need is from firing a bunch of guns. LOT'ZA O' DAKKA you might say

...

Nigga it's a Slaaneshi cult.

After a week or two your anus will be uglier than a Warp abominations face, after the thousands of sucking and claws going in there.

Why? I don't really desire to perfect my anal skills or search anal pleasure to excess so why the fuck would the cult obsess on it? How the heck is some slut's tongue gonna make it all that weird looking?

Wonder why would the propose that to an inquisitor of all people. Like seriously, what the fuck?

Doh ho ho! Solo han chewbaka nipple pinchy wookie.

What if you already have all the food, sex & enjoyment you want?

>serve
Fuck that. I don't kneel.

I'll make my own sect to Slaanesh with Blackjack and Hookers!

Pleasure in the thrill and dispair of gambling and the indulgence of sensation and carnal desire. Surely your sect will be blessed by the Prince of Pleasure.

I'd see how far my stub revolver gets me before they incapacitate me and rape torture me to death.
At least I die loyal.

>Slaaneshi sect
Sorry buddy. You guys may cause plenty of bloodshed, with the sex and torture shit, but you're still lacking the whole "Skulls for the Skull Throne" part.

So yeah, I'm gonna behead them for Khorne. Nothing personal or anything.

I guess if I'm free for the afternoon.

I'm too lazy for that. So I shoot them all. And then rob them.

The whole idea behind being in a Slaanesh cult is your interests will quickly change after a few days, since you will have excesses out on what you currently like. By the time the weekends hit, you will be jamming things up your ass just to see how it feels.

"Intense" and "extreme" don't necessarily translate to good. And my part of the deal is way too ill-defined as well. If they're this amateurish at offering temptations(which, after all, should be their bread and butter), they'll no doubt get anyone idiotic enough to accept killed.

>By the time the weekends hit, you will be jamming things up your ass just to see how it feels.
You say that like it's not what everybody already does.