Storythread

Can I just say that I like the treatment my concept got
(although I didn't see the need to bring Fae into it. could have just as easily called it an old god or a demiurge or something)

This was a cool poem, but it would have been better still if the metre was as regular as the rhyme scheme (unless there's a pattern I'm missing)

is there going to be a part two to this?
(also, this could probably have a better title.)

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A bleak, jutting, dilapidated tower stands out among the sorrowful city. If you were to ask any random passerby on the street about that dirty tower, they would look on it with pride and admiration. "Why, that's the Tower of Tradition" they would exclaim cheerfully, sharply contrasting with their sad surroundings. You would get more or less the same story every time. Long ago, the city had been a thriving utopia, pierced in the middle by a monumental tower of radiant white. It had been filled to the brim with the finest scholars and poets, artists and musicians. People let the tower dictate their lives. They reveled in the songs that lost their splendor. They admired paintings whose style went out of taste. Their sciences made no advances and their poets spouted the same rhetoric. The tower is the city and it's people, and the tower is unchanging. Nothing but a stubborn rock being bowed down to by people hanging onto a golden age long past. You could try to explain to it's citizens that times are different, and that things change, but they would not listen. They would quiet down for a moment and squint their eyes at the crumbling tower, perhaps sniffing or scratching the back of their neck. Then they would shake their head, say, "Good day to you" and walk off.

Anyone would try making a story of this? Setting with modern-industrial human civilization sending their military to fantasy magic lands with such hi jinks like this.

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>BEGIN TRANSCRIPT OF REPORT.LOCATION: GREY KNIGHTS CRUISER "ULTIMATE SANCTION"PRESENT: GRAND MASTER AURIKON, GRAND MASTER OF THE GREY KNIGHTS THIRD BROTHERHOOD. ADEPT

High, your old pal Czechfag here. I had recently hit a rocky few weeks, so I don't have that much to post yet.
I have a little request though. Anyone has the picture of a Japanese school girl and Mermaid in a glass tube in some kind of research facility that used to pop up in just about every story-fag thread? I started writing a story for as an exercise in one of the previous threads, but cleverly forgot to save the pic.
If anyone has it, could you please post it - I could do with taking another look at it. I'll post what I wrote about it a little later.

GM. Now, on these supposed 'daemons'... Explain them to me.
A. Very well. None of them seem to adhere to any of the sorts you have allowed me to research. None of them seem to be affected by any instability of the Warp, and I do not see any obvious markings of them. I have some pict-captures of them for your convenience.

GRAND MASTER peruses the photos.

GM. You are correct. Daemons are products of the warp, and the materium is considered almost toxic to them. To exist like they have in this realm implies that they are either not daemonic...or that these are some of the most complex daemon engines I have ever seen. I shall forward this to Techmarine Acastus and our Techpriesthood. Perhaps they might provide better insight to this affair.
A. Excellent, your lordship.
GM. I have no need for your praise. Now, explain to me their means for fighting these...'daemons'.
A. From initial surveillance, I would consider it a very exotic frame of Imperial Knight, but that would be nonsensical.
GM. In what capacity?
A. Imperial Knight houses are not just 'made'. Not since the Great Crusade, at the very least. Also, the secrets to even maintain such divine engines are not ones so easily divulged. The Sacristans who maintain them usually need entire fleets of supplies and servitors to even begin the work.
GM. So you believe in the possibility of tech-heresy?
A. That is not the worst of it. I also have a vid-capture of one particular fight. Apparently these things are considered heroes to the people of this world.
GM. What of the response of other Imperial bodies? The Adeptus Arbites, the Astra Telepathica?
A. There is a PDF stationed here, as well as an equivalent of the Arbites. They both seem nominally faithful to the Golden Throne. Neither seem so concerned that they would set out to demolish these things.

GRAND MASTER chuckles in bemusement.

A. Is...something the matter, my lord?
GM. "Angels of Death." Truly, these sheep are misguided.

this one?

That is the one. Though my memory tangled it a bit, but no matter. Thank you so much!
I should be done with the text later today, I'll post it as soon as I'm finished.

A. Oh, you speak of the moniker the people of this world gave for the daemons?
GM. To think that we could be considered the same as such filth, to even bear the same name, insults me and the Emperor.
A. Most certainly. Similarly, you may like to know that these other things, the knights, are called the 'Evangelios'.
GM. And the word of the Ministorum? They would most certainly not stand for such blasphemy.
A. One would think so, my lord. However, they seem to be as supportive as the others. It is possible they might even be responsible for this.
GM. Then this entire world has strayed from the Emperor's light. I would sanction Exterminatus had I the resources, but all I have right now is only a few of my Brotherhood.
A. Your line to Inquisitor Tsugulska is still open. If you wish to call it, I am sure he will be happy to consult with you on the idea.
GM. Good. Now, about these machines...
A. Anything you would like to ask, Grand Master? The reports have everything that is accessible to the public, but if you wish it, I can begin an infiltration assignment, hopefully the planetary government has a better clue what they are.
GM. Now that I have a better look at it...Their resemblance to the 'daemons' is almost uncanny.
A. Some of them do, yes. The daemons have a rather broad variety in their appearances, and it is known that one of them could possess the machines.
GM. Now, what would you say if the two species...were actually one and the same?
A. That the Knights were made from daemons? My lord, that would be blasphemous on a whole new level!
GM. It would and if true it would require marshalling the might of the entire Brotherhood. But look at this particular vid. It is clear that these things are not just machines, there is something more to them, something clearly beyond a standard Knight.
A. You suspect a heretek's involvement?
GM. A heretek with some incredible funding.
A. Lorenz.
GM. And if not him, Ikaros. There is no way the heretek is alone.

A. Agreed.
GM. Do we have any locations of nearby Titan legions?
A. No, my lord. I will gather those immediately.
GM. Inform me when you do, and inform the Astropath that I have a message for him to relay.
A. Do you wish of me to -
GM. No. What I must tell him and what he informs me must never reach the ears of any other, and when the message is carried, I will give you your orders.
A. Thank you, Grand Master.
GM. Dismissed. When next we strike, we will break this thesis of cruel angels...

>END TRANSCRIPT

I'm done. It's not great, but as an exercise it will do.
>Deep Under Water
Nobody really paid attention to Yuko, when she wandered among the metal clad hallways of the Institute. She was always just kinda “there” sitting on a bench in the corner of a hall, patiently cleaning her round glasses or reading a book, or sleeping beneath the great branches of the Tree. Everybody assumed she is a daughter of someone from the department of cryptozoology, or perhaps a sister of somebody working on the transbotanics - simply that she must be somehow related to someone among the thousands and thousands of scholars, scientists or engineer staff employed in the Institute. Every now and then, somebody gave her a faint smile or a little wave of hand as she passed them by, her big black eyes reflecting the green light of the many liquid crystal screens.
“She is our Yuko.” they would say to their friends or relatives visiting, surprised to see a girl of her age in the facility, still dressed up in a school uniform. “She’s like… our mascot or something. I think her dad works in the administration or something.”
And every day, she kept coming back. As soon as the school bell rang and her classmates left the building, chattering excitedly about what the afternoon holds for them, she pass them in silence and head to the station, to board the train for the Institute. She would watch the cold green light of led lamps replace the sunlight on her face, as the train descended deeper and deeper underground - leaving the sun drenched streets, lined with cosy houses and spiderweb of electrical cables stretching from pole to pole, the green bamboo and cypress grooves far behind. Here, in the underground belly of the Institute, her soft steps echoed in endless halls and great metallic domes. She would, as always, find herself some cosy spot to sit down, to read, or doze off while watching the specimens in vats and behind glass panels that lined the walls.
1/7

“I don’t think she has many friends.” said Miss Shinohara one day while chewing on a tuna sandwich.
“How come?” I asked and offered her a paper tissue.
“Well, for one, she’s here every day late into the night.”
“That does not mean she does not have friends in the school.” I opined.
“Yeah it does. Besides, have you ever seen her even talking to anyone?”
“She is a quiet one, I’ll give you that.”
Yuko was sitting not far from us, her head tilted slightly to the side, left hand resting gently on the glass of a tube, containing one of the forest specimens - a small creature not unlike a ferret, but with a bright green fur, remindful of the color and texture of tall summer grass. The specimen did not seem to pay her any attention, much like neither of us did: it was happily scratching it’s ear and breathing out small clouds of pink fumes. Adorable creature, really, if you did not know the risks of inhaling it’s pink breath. When I first saw Yuko - I realized - the creature’s fur was bright red as it changed it’s color in correspondence to changing seasons.
Yoko looked lost in her thoughts entirely. I’ve watched those wide black eyes, her narrow, pale lips moving ever so slightly, as if she was gently whispering something to her self.
“John!” my coworker`s rough voice, his english think with Japanese accent, made me nearly jump out. “You were supposed to take the temperature measurements on specimen A5442B an hour ago!”

The next day, I found Yuko standing next to a vending machine in one of the many parlors of the facility. She looked small and timid next to great metal platings on the walls. She was sipping green tea from a bottle.
“Yuko?” I approached her.
She looked up to me shyly.
“Come with me, there is someone I want to you to meet.”
2/7

Yoko looked confused, but followed me obediently. We passed the great metallic doors, the clutters of cables and naked bellies of great servers filled with glowing lights. We passed long walkways above the hermetically sealed habitats, filled with swirling purple smoke and glowing mushrooms, filled with bizarre and colorful creatures following us with dim stares. The Institute, it was a fairytale dressed in metal and glass. My coworkers, dressed in lab coats, acknowledged us with a nod as we passed them by.
The Area XC77, or as we grew accustomed to call it, “The Waterworks”, greeted with us cold light and echo of our footsteps, as they resonated in its enormous hallways. The air was filled with humming and bubbling, coming from kilometers of pipes stretching along the walls. I led Yuko towards a large glass tube, filled with murky green liquid. Label on a silver plate on the glass stated “Water specimen V232, Radset” and next to it, somebody taped a hand written note: “Stop tapping on the glass you assholess.” The water in the tube was thick and cloudy.
Yuko gave me another confused look.
“Wait for a second.” I said with a hushed voice. “She’ll appear soon.”
I was right. The murky water swirled and soon enough, a rough shade appeared. The silhouette of a human torso, two long, slender limbs, delicate face, long, fish-like tail. V232 emerged from the green shade, her beautiful black eyes staring at us cautiously, her long hair widely floating around her head.
“Hi, Lo.” I said. “Meet Yuko. Yuko, meet Lo.”
“Lo?” Yuko looked at me with slight disbelief in her voice.
“Lo as in Lorelei. Sounds better than V232, don’t you think?”
“Oh. I thought -“
“You thought?”
“Nevermind…”
The mermaid swam a little closer to the glass, measuring us with what seemed like a curious look.
3/7

“Oh yeah.” I scratched my head. “She seems to prefer it that way. Trust me, we tried putting her into clear water, she nearly broke the glass. She can be a handful.”
Yoko carefully waved to the mermaid. The mermaid did not reply, but she followed Yuko’s hand with her eyes.
“Can I touch the glass?” asked Yuko again.
“Sure - just don’t tap on it, she does not like that.”
Yuko held out her hand and touched the surface of the tank - a little too quickly, it seemed as the mermaid instinctively dodged backwards and disappears into the green clouds.
“Ah!” Yoko yelped. “I’m sorry!”
“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled. “She’ll be back in a minute. She is just shy at first. But her curiosity always takes over in the end. Why don’t you wait here? I think Lo could do with some company.”
I think you both could. I wanted to add, but I stopped myself.
Yuko nodded eagerly.
“Alright. I’ll check back on you two later.”

Over the next few weeks, Yuko started visiting Lo every day. I pass them by on my rounds - a girl sitting on a metallic step, and a mermaid on her side, both sitting almost shoulder to shoulder. I saw them nod and gesture at each other and lean towards the glass, as if they were whispering secrets. One late night, was finishing up my shift, walking rough the hallways and turning off the bright lights one by one, to give the specimens some much needed rest. The Institute was almost empty, everybody went back home, to their cosy suburban houses, to families and hot meals.
Yuko was still sitting beneath the glass tube. Her head rested on the glass of the tube, a book and round glasses lying in her lap - she was asleep. Lo was floating close to her, watching her - her hands were pressed against the glass, as if she wanted to hold the girl around her shoulders. When I walked closer, Lo looked at me with a worried smile on her lips, nodded, and then disappeared into the cloudy water.
4/7

“Yuko…” I raised my voice to her. “Yuko, wake up.”
Yuko opened her eyes slowly and looked at me as if from great distance.
“Come on. You fell asleep. We’re closing, it’s time to go home.”
The girl did not say anything, just looked worriedly at the empty tank besides her.
“Don’t worry.” I said. “Lo was here with you all the time. But it’s time to go. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
We walked through the sleeping Institute side by side, the hallways filled with shadows stretched for miles around us. Yuko was silent until we finally reached the exit. I waved to the guard as passed the security checkpoint. The platform of the station, carved into solid stone, was empty and dark - water was dripping from the celling.
“John,” Yuko said suddenly. “Why… why do you keep her like that?”
“What?”
“I mean, why do you keep her in here? Why do you keep all those creatures in here?”
I sighed. “You know the answer to that. I mean, the teachers must have told you, right? Your parents, they work here, so…”
“I know.” she says quietly. “But…” She stops herself. “My parents… they don’t work here. Not anymore.”
“Oh. I thought… Oh. I’m sorry.”
Another minute of silence. Water drips from the celling like a metronome.
“So,” I gather my courage to ask. Yuko is next to me, tiny and timid in her black and white uniform, nervously clinching her glasses between long pale fingers, looking somewhere to the left of my feet. “So why do you keep coming here?”
She does not answer. I can feel her anxiety, she huddles her shoulders like a puppy, expecting a beating.
She does not answer. I can feel her anxiety, she huddles her shoulders like a puppy, expecting a beating.
5/7?

“Don’t worry.” I say, but I feel like there is something bubbling and brewing inside of me. “I’m not going to rat you out. As far as I’m concerned, I’m just happy Lo has a friend. But I really have to ask… You could have been out with your friends. You could be out there, in the sunshine. You really should not burry yourself alive here, in this wet, cold tomb. How old are you? You should be talking to people, making friends, going to karaoke, making boys dizzy. Lo - she does not even understand you. She’ll never will! I really don’t understand why you keep-“
Yuko raises her huge black eyes up to me. She looks at me, and I see eyes I know all too well: wide, deep eyes of a trapped mermaid, staring from beneath murky green water.
She does not make a sound, but her lips move and I can read them.
Because I’m a freak too.

When the train arrives, we are both silent again. The green lights dance in our hair as the train makes it’s way through the tunnel, until finally, the clear, starry skies open up above us. The city sleeps in all direction under the moonlight. I accompany Yuko all the way to her home. There are no light on in the windows of her house when she stiffly says the words “than you for seeing me home”.
I call for a cab. The bamboos silently fizz from a nearby garden.
“What the fuck was I supposed to say?!” I yell out loud.

I find Yuko sitting next to the tank again. She seems happy, reading a book but constantly stopping herself to show some picture to Lo, who enthusiastically nods in return.
“Hi John!” she jumps up with a smile when she notices me. Over the last few months, she has became so much more lively and cheerful.
“Hi…”
“Is something wrong?”
“Eh… Yuko… let me buy you a coffee or something.”
We park ourselves in front of one of the vending machines.
6/7

“Look, Yuko… I’m sorry.” (I can see how she bits her lower lip). “Lo… Lorelei is going to go away soon. I’m sorry.”
“What?!”
“We are… we are going to release her. We found a new, unspoiled habitat. A new place for her to live in. A natural place to live in.”
“But…” I can see tears appearing in her eyes.
“Look - we can’t keep her in that tank forever! You… you need to let her go.”
She sobs. “OK,” she says then in a choked voice. “Can I see her off?”
“Sure. Sure you can.”

I chew on my lunch. It tastes like cardboard. I can hear my coworkers talking.
“I haven’t seen that girl around for a while.” says one.
“Yeah, you are right.” says another. “That little girl, right? What was her name? Yoko or something?”
“Yuko. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Maybe she moved away somewhere?”
“I guess.”
Miss Shinohara gives me a stare. But I don’t say anything.
When I’m taking a train back home, I sometimes look out of the window. I look for the black and white colors of the school uniforms, for kids, going home from clubs, from school, from karaoke. Sometimes I feel like I see the glint of round glasses, a faint smile on pale lips. Sometimes I think I see Yoko among the faces of kids, laughinh as they walk down the street. But I’m never quite sure.
7/7

OK, that's it folks. Hot off the presses. The usual caveat about me not being a native speaker applies. It's an exercise, I don't think it's nearly as good as most of the "normal" stuff I write, but I need to keep myself in shape somehow.

Let me know what you think.

Well I was entranced from beginning to end. I was expecting Yuki to eat the narrator or something so the "never seen again" bit was jarring, but it's more to real life I suppose. Still, great stuff! What language is your first, may I ask?

Wow, that was quick.
I'm Czech, hence I'm come to call myself "czechfag" as I like to post around these threads enough for people to actually remember me.
Thanks a lot for the kind words.
Yeah, I was frankly struggling a lot to end up the story, but I like the "ending in nothingness, like in real life" deal, it's a good way to make your lack of a proper ending seem almost profound.

I honestly aren't all that comfortable writing traditional sci-fi or fantasy to begin with. This was one of my first ventures into this territories in ages.
Oh yeah, and re-reading it after posting, I noticed I lost a few sentences here and there... Nothing key, I hope, but the pacing suffers.

nice work. Perhaps a little... flat. Restrained might be a better term. I think it might have been better if you'd given it a more interesting ending. Individually the story is okay, and the ending is okay, but put them together and they aren't quite satisfying. In my opinion, that is.

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Speaking as an author: I know the ending is rushed as fuck.
I've actually rewritten the ending already somewhat. It's not a dramatic change: just few extra lines that provide for greater symmetry: the final paragraphs now basically recounts the second one, just in reverse: people talking about Yuko as "she used to be our mascot" and realizing they never knew anything about her again, then the landscape describes the same scene that described Yuko's road to the institute, except this time from the narrators perspective, as he returns home from the Institute...
A lot more extensive work needs to be done though. I'll see what I can do with it, but seeing as this was really just an exercise (I actually never thought I'll finish it at all) I don't know how much patience will I have in revisting it. Plus, I doubt anyone will want to read the thing again, just with minor changes.
Thanks for the feedback though. Yeah, the story is actually not particularly strong and the ending is flat out week. Again: I'm not comfortable writing fantasy - I intentionally avoided telling as much about the actual world as possible, focusing only on the characters. Maybe I should have ended up more dramatically, reveal that Yuko was really a monster or something, but I really wanted the fantastic/sci-fi element to be kept to minimum, I just don't really know what to do with it. I tried to keep it character-driven, but the result is... as you said, flat.

>I tried to keep it character-driven
you can't develop characters if your characters have nothing to work with. The only real events in that story is the moment when the narrator introduces the girl to the mermaid, and the moment he tells the girl that the mermaid is being released. Two points, the bare minimum: a beginning and an end. Beyond that, nothing much happens. If you throw in more external actions for your characters to respond to, then there will be more opportunities for character development.

Actually, I thought (and maybe it just does not work the way I intended it to) for the key moment to be the dialogue on the train platform. I wanted to intentionally hide a lot of the story - the fantasy backstory to be up to the reader to fill in himself, and within the dialogues, the most important things are those that are not spoken.
Hell, I wondered for half an hour if I should even explicitly write the spoilered line to begin with.

The whole idea really was to write a story about teenage anxiety and loneliness, and the feeling of helplessness one experiences when trying to understand the problems of others. The mermaid, the Institute, all of that was really rather accidental to the story - I just though the idea of an introverted girl find likened spirit in an isolated, lonely creature literally out of her element a good metaphor.
But what was in my head, and what I actually managed to capture are two different things.

Personally, I think the main problem is in the dialogues, or lack of them or their inability to better capture the essence of the characters. Partially because the characters (at least Yuko) simply don't have much space to properly come alive. Partially it might be a problem of Yuko being more of a prototype or trope than a real character.

>Actually, I thought (and maybe it just does not work the way I intended it to) for the key moment to be the dialogue on the train platform
no, you're right that that's an important moment. But it comes entirely from the internal interaction between the two characters and their character development.

what I meant by the introduction of the mermaid was that in that moment you are introducing something NEW to the characters. Something external, that they can react to. Not something that follows entirely from their established traits.

I understood that you were writing on the theme of lonliness. I think you capture the essence of your characters fairly well. But it was just too introspective. There has to be contrast with external events. It's the girl who's supposed to be introspective, not the story. The narrative has to draw out the themes from within the characters, if you see what I mean (actually I'm not sure why you would since I don't entirely.)

>The narrative has to draw out the themes from within the characters, if you see what I mean (actually I'm not sure why you would since I don't entirely.)
Actually, it makes a hell of a lot sense, thanks. Yeah: the story itself isn't introspective: the story does not delve into the characters: even the narrator does not actually disclose much about himself (the only moment when it's really telling what is going on in John's head is when he literally cries out his frustration after accompanying the girl home).
With that in mind, it actually can come across as flat - the story talks about two characters and what they do and say, which honestly (and intentionally) is not much.
A really good author would probably be able to make that work (I'm thinking of Hemingway or Capote), but I'm seriously nowhere near close to authors of such caliber, and the story is nowhere near close to the strength of stories those people told.

What it lacks is stronger confrontations of the characters with the world that would in reflection disclose more about what they are really going through.
Does that roughly correspond to what you meant? I mean, I could be projecting/misunderstanding your point.

Still. This is actually some really great feedback and food for thought. I'm probably not going to try and save this particular story, but it's pretty great notion of something to watch out for in the future.

I have a... thing for keeping a distance from characters and things going on with them. I think I know why. But that does not mean it's actually a good literary approach.

>What it lacks is stronger confrontations of the characters with the world that would in reflection disclose more about what they are really going through.
yes, that's exactly what I've been getting at. Unless you are lazy and just write an internal monologue where the character explains how they feel, the reader can't know what's going through the character's mind until the character is confronted by something they have to react to. How the character reacts both tells the reader something about their character, and sets up further character development later on.

let me give an example related to the story you posted: one day, the glass in the mermaid's tank shatters - maybe because she'd been hitting it, maybe just faulty installation - and she spills out onto the floor.

does Yuko then
- stand back, too scared to approach, and is upset by the suffering of her friend and her inability to help
or
- rush over and cradle Lo, and pour water over her to help her breathe

and does Lo
- allow Yuko to help
or
-thrash around in panic

this is a very basic example, and I've only given binary options when in reality there are many. But you can see how an event (the glass shattering) gives an opportunity to develop character traits.

The characters, simply put, need to "bounce" off something. Got it.
This has been extremely helpful to me, thank you for taking the time off to indulge me. I did not really put that much time or faith into the thing, but it turned out to be a huge learning experience in the end. I'm still struggling to cope with longer texts (so far, if you've seen the kind of things I posted up here in previous threads, I've mostly fooled around in texts rarely above four or five paragraphs long) and I never realized this could be a serious problem.
I'm off, but I'll hopefully be back later this week with some new stuff. Thanks again.

no problem dude, I enjoy reading your stuff

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a few weeks ago some of us were submitting stuff to the Black Library. I got a rejection letter a few days ago - did anyone else get a response?

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Anna didn't know why she kept coming here. She knew full well that the von Julienne Estate was under a security detail tighter than any she knew in her seven years as a thief and she would be blind to ignore the blatant wanted posters thrown up around the neighborhood with bounties on her head, and she knew damn well it was her head. She didn't even have any good reason to keep coming after she robbed it the first time.

"Miss Anna! You came back!"
Then it comes back to her: That mission to rob the von Juliennes was almost a success, almost a completely anonymous robbery, all except for one unknown variable - the boy.
"I've been wondering where you've been, how you've been doing!"
The boy was Leo von Julienne, youngest son of five, and thus was groomed only to be a pawn. He certainly looked beautiful, his face looked like a doll's and his skin looked more delicate than anyone else's. Just being near him made rugged Anna feel dirty. What made it worse was that she lied to him about stealing some family treasures while trying to leave through his room. You said you were just passing through and he not only believed Anna, but brought her to his room just to have a conversation about life outside the manor.

"Why do you look forward to seeing me so much?" she asked. Even though he trusted her almost at first sight, suspicion was rife in her field.
Leo's bright smile was perfectly obvious. "Because I like talking to you! You're a nice person!"
There were so many times that Anna could have just been done with it. She could have just not shown up, she could have told him straight-up that she was a common thief. None of these things were even that hard and she stood to lose nothing if she cut him loose, but somewhere inside her conscience, Anna just couldn't stand to see Leo cry.
Poor, sweet Leo

Anna snapped out. These feelings were also bothering her. Feelings of...attachment towards this pointless little boy.

Thieves weren't supposed to get attached. Attachment meant compromising. Compromising meant loss, whether it be her life or his. She had to stop before he became too involved.

She climbed down from that windowsill with practiced ease into the surprisingly stark room. Aside from Leo's bed was a mirror, a desk, a nightstand, a chair, and a closet. Compared to the rest of the manor, this was all rather cheaply made, mostly wood with no gold filigree or elaborate carvings. Anna never asked why; she thought it rude to ask.
"Please, close the window before you take a seat," Leo asked before coughing, "it's cold tonight."
Anna complied and sat down. She would have insisted on keeping it open on account of the night actually being rather warm, but she relented for Leo's sake.
"So today, I told mom that I liked someone today!" He already began talking about his life. Despite looking so small and delicate, he always had something to talk about. "I said that there was a girl I knew who I thought was really cool, but when I told her, she looked really sad."
"Why is that?"
Leo coughed a bit as he drank a bit of water. "Mom said that I might have to leave soon, and that if I told her how I felt, it'd only make her feel sad when I leave."
Anna raised an eyebrow. She didn't overhear anything about moving from the guards. "Leave?"
He nodded his head. "I don't get it either. I asked if I could take her with us, but..." he looked down, "she said that it'd be really far away." He looked up at Anna again, "She also asked about the girl, but then I realized...I don't know that much about you, Anna."
"What did she need about me?" The thief's senses were already on edge. When someone was asking about her, it meant that a trap was already set.
"I said that her name was Anna and that...um, she was really adventurous!" Leo proudly announced. "I said that Anna knew a lot about the world, and she was an acrobat, but...I don't know anything else."

He had a rather rough cough before he could talk again. "So, Miss Anna, who are you?" It was concerning how much he had been coughing recently.

A hundred warning flags went off in that instant. It was a trap, Leo was going to spill about her history, they might even hunt her down by using Leo as bait. And that's just if she played her cards just right.
"Leo," Anna cautiously asked, her weight shifting uncomfortably, "what do you think I do?"
"What do I think?" He pauses. "I think Miss Anna is a scout for the government! I heard that they're really good at jumping on rooftops and entering doors nobody else can!" Again he coughed, and this time, she could have sworn she saw something before Leo threw his arms down, covering his sleeves. "I'm right, aren't I?"
Again, an opportunity came for Anna to just cut it off here. All she had to say was no. Again, her conscience robbed her cold logic of its grip and she just answered, "I am in a sense. Leo, are you okay? You seem to be coughing quite a bit recently."

Leo took a moment before he looked at Anna again. "I'll be fine! The doctors say that I just need to rest more, but it gets really boring just sitting here! Sometimes, I wish I was like you, Miss Anna."
Anna felt touched, but saddened. "Trust me, you don't, Leo." She placed a hand on his. "It's scary jumping on roofs and sometimes my job is dangerous."
"But if it's with someone like you, I'm sure that I'll be fine!" As Anna looked at the boy's confident face, she could almost notice a little red mark near his mouth. She brought up a gauntlet towards his face before Leo intercepted. "Oh, Miss Anna! If you insist!" He brought his lips toward the hand and touched it. "Thank you for that."

Anna looked at her finger and noticed a telltale red mark where he kissed her hand. She knew just what it was before she even tasted it: blood.
"Leo...you wouldn't hide something from me, right?" she tread carefully. "You know you can trust me, yes?"

...

He nodded enthusiastically.
"Then would you lie if I asked what you're sick from?" Leo froze. His face, which was vibrant up until now, suddenly lost all color from it. "Leo?"
"Mom said... Mom and dad said that I can't tell anyone what's wrong with me. The doctor said that it'll get better with time." Just to punctuate the irony of that statement, he coughed again.
"Leo, you look sick," Anna spoke up. "You need help!" She was about to leave when Leo grabbed her arm. "What are you doing?"
"Miss Anna!" he insisted. "Miss Anna, please. The doctor will be back tomorrow. My family trusts him, so I'm going to as well."

Anna was going to say something no doubt witty to make Leo take the matter seriously, but that was lost when she noticed a peculiar red stain on the blanket. Her eyes shot wide at the implication of this stain: This disease was terminal.
Just like that, poor sweet Leo, precious Leo, became not just a nuisance, but one that hooked itself on Anna. Any sane person would have instantly washed their hands of Leo just out of fear for their health, but yet again, Anna was not able to.
"Oh my god..." she muttered, "Oh my god, Leo... I'm so sorry..."
"Miss Anna... No." His eyes dilated. "Please, not you too!"
Anna tried to calm down, "Leo, how long have you had this?"
"Miss Anna." Leo's breath was growing ragged. His grip on Anna was tightening by the second. "Miss Anna, I...I'm scared. I don't think I'll be well enough to make the trip my parents want me to go on." His face was getting closer. "Miss Anna... I don't think I want to go. Is...something wrong with me?"
"Leo..."
"I'm scared, Miss Anna," he buried his face on her shoulder. "I don't want to leave you. I don't want to make you sad because I might not be coming back." Anna could feel something damp on her shoulder. "Miss Anna! Please, don't leave me!"
There was no turning back. Perhaps there never was for the thief. "Hey Leo, is there anything you want to do before you leave?"

...

...

...

To be alone is all you ever wanted.
He took you from your bed and made you what you are.
You can't control the entire right half of your body.
Of course that's how he would of wanted to leave you.
You took up his mantle when he finally passed, and that comes with the fair share of hunters looking for him, but they only find you.
You try to get them to leave with the constant rumors from forged letters you throw out, but they continue to come.
You've taken to making traps that continue to get deadlier and deadlier, until finally you can start counting the seconds it takes for the rest of them to leave the trapped.
Now they're here, here to revenge the one they left. The ones that were all rumored to have perished by your deranged hands.
You can't stop your body anymore, and you attack.
You only want to be left alone.

...

For a moment, the sniffling silenced. He looked up into Anna's pale blue eyes. "I want you to take me to your favorite place in the world."
"Eh?" Anna asked, "But Leo, you're too sick to go."
"Everyone keeps saying that." His breathing's starting to calm down. "It's always 'Leo, you can't do that, it's dangerous' or 'Leo, you can wait until after your trip'! I don't get why I can't do it! I don't think I can wait any longer!" He lifted his head to look straight at the thief, his eyes still wide. "That's why, Miss Anna, I want you to take me away from here, to feel what you feel when you walk on those rooftops."
"Are you sure about this, Leo?" It was impossible for her to say it now. There was no way she could admit that she was a thief without breaking his fragile heart.

Leo was about to say something, but another fit broke out. His coughing was more violent than ever, splattering a bit on her clothes.
"I'm sorry, Miss Anna," he apologized as he took another drink. "I must look pathetic, wasting away like this." His smile was clearly fake. He was struggling to keep himself together.
But it wasn't like Anna's was any more genuine. "It's okay, Leo." she finally stood up. "I...I need to go. I'll find a place for us, but you need to go to sleep."
"Eh!" he pouted. "But you just came here!"
Anna prodded Leo's forehead, pushing him down on the bed. "You need to go to sleep, young man! Even if you don't think it'll help you, you can't be hurting yourself!"
"Okay, Miss Anna..." he wrapped himself tighter in his sheets. "Good night!"
"Good night, Leo." Though she said she was leaving, she still had to stay until he actually fell asleep. It was something of a habit with him, and she played along. As soon as he fell asleep, Anna quietly powered herself over Leo and kissed his cheek. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, possibly to nobody. "I've been hiding the truth from you too."

The next day, she lost all motivation to go thieving. All she could think about was Leo.

It wasn't hard to tell for any members of the guild, her presence in an affiliated bar, drinking away her sorrows, was more than enough of a clue. She was visited by her mentor, an old prankster named Flint.

"Never seen you like this before, Anna," he commented as he took a seat in the bar. Anna was on her third round. "Usually you advocate keeping the mind sober."
"What does it matter, old man?" Her voice was gritty. "I've been lying to a lot of people, what's one more?"
"Just saying," he took a shot, "you don't usually get this drunk, even on the botched jobs."
Her red eyes looked up at him. "Tell me something I don't know."
"Wait, lemme guess," he held a hand up, "you've fallen in love with someone you robbed! Oh, Anna, I never thought you'd be following in my footsteps so earnestly!" Anna was still. "Um, Anna, this is the part where you make some snippy comeback like, 'I must have had a terrible choice of idols' or 'The footsteps were too obvious to miss'! Something!"
"Maybe I am," she muttered. "I've been lying to him the entire time. He thinks I'm with the crown!"
"Oh, is that all?" Flint raised a graying eyebrow in curiosity. "Well, not the worst thing of being accused of. Not like anyone's gonna die from it, right?"
Anna looked into her glass. "No, but he's dying. I don't know how long he has left, and I just got swept along into his world." Her head slammed the table. "I'm an idiot!"
Flint contemplated the dilemma between shots. "First time I heard that story. Look, Anna, I know the big hats keep talking about how connections are bad for business and how we gotta be loners, that's all a bunch of crap." His ex-apprentice was looking at him, which was a good enough start. "People are by nature looking for things to connect to. Trying to deprive that's damn-near impossible! So what if you like that guy but he's dying? We're all dying! Just make sure he spends his last days knowing neither of you regret anything!"

How would you handle reincarnation in a story?

Like, say the characters are reincarnations of people from hundreds of years ago.

>How would you handle reincarnation in a story?
That is a really broad question. There are no guidelines or rules about reincarnation, so you can pretty much do it in whatever way suits your story.

There are probably two main questions:
What are the mechanics of reincarnation (probably will need some metaphysic work: how, why and when are souls cycling - you don't have to explicitly explain it in the story itself, in fact it may be better not to - you still will want to have it figured out for consistency reasons).

And the second question which stems from the first one is how (and if at all) are memories and experiences revealed to the reincarnation. Basically, if you have people who are reincarnations of some previous person, what does that mean to them, and how and when will the fact that they are reincarnated even figure into the story.
Are the memories of the past life coming in dreams? In visions? During religious experiences? During stress? Are they vivid memories, or vague sentiments? Etc... etc... etc...

I presume the reincarnation plays an important role in the story. Ask yourself what and why, how is it relevant to the ark you are trying to build, and how much of it you want to be revealed to the reader.

Remember one thing: most amateur writers here on /v/ has a tendency to explain too much, rather than too little. They generally tend to cram exposition between the lines in order to paint as complete image as possible. You might want to watch out for that.

"He did have a request..."
Flint perked. "Well? Out with it."
"He...he wanted to see the one place I liked the most, where I felt the most like a scout. Before he dies."
"Well? You have a place?"
Anna thought. "I like hiding in the cathedral. I like hiding in the marketplace."
"Well, tomorrow the archbishop's showing up for a midnight service. Maybe that's something to look at?"
Anna looked at Flint. "Thanks for listening to me, Flint."
Flint chuckled and took a shot. "Just because you're not my student doesn't mean there's nothing left to learn! We should talk again!" He raised his glass.
"Probably." The glasses clinked.

Again, Anna found herself at the windowsill to Leo's room. She knew something was off by the guards' conversations. They said that they were supposed to be all present tomorrow at a local cemetery. They didn't remember any scheduled visits from former von Juliennes, but from what they knew, attendance was mandatory.
She couldn't shake off the image of Leo coughing up blood. There wasn't much she could do.

"Miss Anna," Leo looked more drained than usual. "Thanks for coming all the time." His coughing seemed more violent.
"Leo..." she approached the boy. "Leo, are you sure you want to leave?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow, Miss Anna. I don't have any time left to wait." He looked down at his hands. "Before I go, I just want to feel... I want to remember something besides this house."
"Alright then, Leo." she reached out a hand. "Can you stand?" Leo took her hand and stood up. He definitely looked ill, his frame looked more pallid and almost skeletal in appearance.
"See, Miss Anna? You don't have to worry!" Almost immediately, he was wrapped up in Anna's arms, feeling her crying loudly into his neck. "M-Miss Anna! What's wrong?"
"Leo! Leo, oh Leo!" She kept crying. "I can't stand this!"
"Miss Anna...please don't cry..." the boy's composure was faltering. "I-If you start crying, then... Then...!" And then it broke.

I was trying to write some fantasy encounters as though they were horror encounters, I'm pretty new to this:
"We had journeyed into the rocky hills to the east as the command of our lord after rumors began to spread of a strange beast haunting the hills. We eventually located the beast's cave, identifiable by the malformed rocks in its vicinity, evidence of some foul corruption or unnatural force. We sat and waited until, from the cave, emerged a long serpentine body, its sections of armour-like scales shifting and causing its every movement to be accompanied by the sound of scraping metal and stone. And then the beast breathed, its exhalation a foul miasma which blackened and warped the ground in front of the beast, as though it had been touched by an invisible flame of intense heat. It was at this point we fled, although behind me I became aware of a sound of a sail unfurling and then of colossal wingbeats. One of the members of our party screamed out in pain, I didn't dare look back to see what became of him, I would warn anyone to stay away from that accursed cave, and I pray to any god who will listen that the beast doesn't journey far."

"We were making our way across the plains when one of the boys looking after the houses started shouting about a light in the sky, when I looked over there was definitely something brighter than any star. Then I noticed it appeared to be coming closer, I ducked just as the ball of light and flame came within inches of my head. Squinting at the ball I saw two gouts of flame erupt as the orb seemed to unfurl, spreading like a bird in flight. Accompanying this was a new wave of heat and a cry, the screeches of a thousand burning beasts, the sole horse which hadn't bolted did so now, and like a spark rising from a bonfire the creature rose and vanished from sight."

"I trecked through the forest, following my usual game trails, late at night. I stopped when a heard a noise, when I looked I saw the stumbling silhouette of a man, I presumed him to be a lost traveler and called out, then the moon came out and bathed him in light. What I saw next is hard to explain, I was correct in my original observation about it having the shape of a man, but no man has hands elongated and sharp as his were, and in the light of the moon seemingly caked in dark blood. His flesh was torn and scarred, as though ripped apart from the inside, his face twisted into a bestial form, in a mixture of pain, fear and fury. He released a roar, showing as he did so his enlarged fangs, clearly far overgrown for his still human-sized jaw, and leaped. I don't know whether it was luck, the protection of some god, or my own skill which let me evade it, but I started sprinting and didn't stop until I had returned to the village."

The two of them were crying for what seemed like hours on end, apologies flooded out by tears, promises unable to be finished. They realized that this would be the last day they'd be together and even though her training gave her every opportunity to break free, to just abandon him, she couldn't even think of abandoning Leo anymore.
"Leo...kind, sweet, Leo..." Anna finally gathered the nerve to ask, "there's a place I want to show you. I want you to join me."
"Miss Anna, I'd love to!" A bit of vigor finally returned to his young face.
Anna lowered herself. "Then climb on my back and promise me that no matter what, you'll never look down. Got it?"
"I promise!" Leo climbed onto Anna's back and wrapped his arms around her. "Hehe, you're really warm."

Anna then fled the estate with little Leo in tow. Nobody seemed to notice her passing, her training was too good. Each leap upon the rooftops was met with a gasp of awe, each guard evaded elicited a sigh of relief, and each climb was met with a gaze of admiration. Along the way, Anna made up stories about her exploits, about protecting dignitaries from assassins and beating up corrupt cops who extorted shop owners. Leo gobbled up every word by the hook. Eventually, they reached the roof of the church, looking out at the skyline. They could see the entire city from this place, and Leo could definitely see his house from here.
"So, Leo," Anna explained, "There's two things we can do here: We can climb up a little further to the highest point in this entire city or we can go inside and listen to a mass." Leo looked at both of them, but before he could answer, he was coughing again. "Right, inside it is."

The windows were locked, but Anna knew a way inside that led them to the rafters above the Altar.
True to Flint's word, the archbishop was present. As it turned out, it was a state wedding, a high-ranking captain in the army was getting married. Everyone was exceptionally well-dressed except for them.

...

...

...

Looking at all the suits and dresses, especially the bride's, got Leo fidgeting.
"Leo, are you okay?" Anna picked up on this. Considering everything else she had to be on the lookout for, it wasn't as hard as she thought.
"It's nothing."
"Leo, this is your trip. If there's...anything you want, I promise I'll help you." She grabbed his delicate hands. "Please, I don't want you to regret anything."
Leo's smile was weak. "Thank you, Miss Anna. I really appreciate this, but...I already regret not doing something."
"Do you wanna climb up?" Anna asked. "I'm sure we can make it there before everyone starts leaving."
He shook his head as he looked at the people. "Miss Anna...I wish I met you a lot sooner. That way...maybe I wouldn't be sick. So I could properly tell you..." he choked himself back. "So I could say 'I love you' without being afraid!"

The revelation almost floored Anna. Even considering how close they got, despite Anna's attempts, nothing could have prepared her for those words. It was impossible, after all - he was the son of nobility, and she was a guttersnipe since birth without even a penny to her name. In all her years, all her heists, she never once counted herself interested in anything like romance.
"Leo," she began gathering her wits about her. "Leo, that...you shouldn't tease people like that!"
"Miss Anna, I've been charmed by you since the moment we first met," Leo crawled closer to the thief, who retaliated by backing away. "You were the first person who got close to me without being afraid, the only person who talked to me! I'm sure you have a bunch of suitors asking to marry you, but please... Just give me tonight. Before I go away, I just want to remember you for something!"
Anna found out soon enough that there was a limit to the rafters and was stuck watching Leo closing in. "Leo...you're surprisingly forceful for such a sick kid."
He smiled. "Because right now, there's only the two of us."

"You may now kiss the bride."

As the archbishop below pronounced these words and the two spouses consummated their kiss, Leo finally got close enough to kiss Anna as well. They held that position leaning on a beam for a few minutes, but for both of the intruders, it felt even longer than that. They were pressed so close together, Leo's light form pressing against Anna's with everything he could. As they broke off, Leo immediately began coughing. "I'm...sorry, Miss Anna." He wiped his mouth. "I don't know if you felt the same way about me, but believe me. I've always wanted to do kiss the first person I loved."

The entire confession dug deeper into Anna. This boy just confessed everything to him, his fears, his hopes, and his dream that will probably never be fulfilled. Leo bared all this, and yet look at Anna, the selfish girl who hid everything from the boy who loved her so.
Greedy, selfish, Anna.

Leo's coughing fits came worse, she noticed some blood dripping down to the audience below, who were noticing the fits upstairs. Hastily, Anna picked up Leo and ran away. They were back on the roof, near the ledge.
"Leo, what's wrong?" Leo's coughing didn't stop. "Oh my god! Leo, hold on! I'll find someone to help!" She began leaping from the rooftops with the ill boy on her back, coughing into her hood. She knew a doctor that the thieves' guild used a lot, a friend of Flint's.
"Doctor! Doctor Sevanne!" Anna barged through the door. "Doctor! You need to help my friend!"
The doctor, a wiry-haired gentleman of advanced age, snapped at attention. "Ach! Must you thieves always barge in like this? What is it that you needed to see me so..." The doctor then noticed the blood on Leo. "The deathly cough. Oh no...if he's already like this, then...where did you meet him, little Anna?"
"He...he was outside, near the church!" She lied.
"I'm sorry, but..." the doctor folded his hands. "At this point, there is nothing anyone can do for him."

"Oh no...not like this!" Anna gasped.
"M-Miss Anna..." Leo could finally speak a bit, though he was already looking drained. "Miss Anna, it hurts. I'm scared."
Sevanne looked on. "I wish I could offer you something, as a friend of Anna's, but...at this point, you're too far gone for it to work."
"We have to try something!" she pleaded, tears now in her eyes. "After all he's done for me, after all he's been looking forward to, I can't just let him die!"
The Doctor looked at them and turned around. "I'll see what I can do, but I cannot promise that it will work."

It was only Anna and Leo, and she knew that there wasn't much longer left.
"I'm sorry, Miss Anna," he weakly coughed. "Today was supposed to be a happy day, and it ended up like this because of me."
"Leo, don't talk." She grabbed a piece of cloth to wipe him up. "Leo..." her heart was pounding harder with each breath. "Leo, my kind Leo... I need to tell you something."
He coughed harder. "I trust you."
She took a deep breath. Now or never. Either way, he'd not be long for this world. "Leo, remember when I asked you what my job was?"
"You work for the government, right?"
Anna braced herself. "I don't work for the government. I'm... I'm a thief, a member of a guild of them who steal things and then sell them off to the highest bidder. I stole a mask from your parents that night, and if you didn't see me, I probably would have never come back." She grabbed his hand tightly. "I know you thought of me as this nice person who was going to save you and we'd live happily ever after, but I can't even help you right now. I'm so pathetic, having you spill everything while hiding the most important secret from you." Again, the tears came, but she tried her hardest to hold back, to try to look composed in front of him. "If you hate me for it, I'll leave. I'll tell the doctor to bring you home, and we can end it here." She hated herself for saying this, after so much hiding.

...

"Miss Anna, please don't cry." His hand was limp, but still Leo raised it. "You look so much prettier when you smile."
Anna stopped. "But... But I've been lying to you this whole time!"
Leo could only smile. "But you came back for me. You talked to me. You even took me from my room, the only room I've ever known, to a place I've only dreamed of seeing." His hand shook, and before it fell, she grabbed hold of it. "I don't regret saying what I said for even a second. You're the nicest person I've ever met, and the prettiest."
Anna had been bested by this innocent little boy. After every fear, every obstacle she threw in the way, all he could admit were his simple feelings. She bowed her head in defeat. "You're really unfair."
"So were you." He tried to lift his head to reach Anna, but she finished the journey and locked their lips.

That would be their last kiss.
The doctor's special mixture of herbs and acids proved ineffective, and as he feared, all they could do is watch Leo waste away until he breathed his last. The entire time, Anna held his hand, trying to ease his pain by talking. The last thing he asked was that his parents placed him in the family tomb. The morning was spent in utter silence, with Doctor Sevanne leaving Anna to be alone with the boy.
That afternoon, Anna carried Leo's lifeless body across the streets to the von Julienne manor. People were terrified of the scene, guards hounding her on every step, but she persisted with carrying him to his only family. Once she reached it, she simply lowered the body, kissed him farewell, and fled.
The city flooded with controversy: Did she abduct and kill the boy? Was she only saving him? How did nobody notice? Why did she run? Why carry him at all? The von Juliennes said nothing about the affair, just that they were relieved to find at least something.

Anna wanted none of it. She returned to the guild and locked herself in her room. That evening, she only let her door open for one man: Flint.

"Heard about what happened," he opened up as he passed a glass over. "Didn't think it'd be such a prettyboy, but if he made you happy..."
"He loved me," she could only mutter. "He said he loved me even though I put him through so much."
"Kid's a saint, I'll give him that." He put an arm around his student. "To give a cold mother like you something to feel for, never thought it'd be possible."
Anna didn't hear any of it. "Do you think I did the right thing?"
"Course you did. You gave someone who didn't have a hope in hell a little fun before he kicked it." Flint huddled her closer. "And I say, anyone who says that it wasn't right? To hell with those bastards! They keep forgetting that we don't have that much time on earth."

They just sat there, Anna just occasionally taking sips and falling asleep on Flint. When next she woke up, she hugged her mentor.
"Do you think he's happy?" was the first thing she asked.
Flint smiled. "For getting to know a lass like you? He'd be a fool not to." He left first, and Anna followed behind him. "Now come on. You still have a job to do."

As she left, she coughed once.

Aaaaand NOW it's over.

The trailer struggled to cut through the sand. The wheels buried themselves and whined constantly as they parted the grains.

Rin tried to pay the noise no attention. They had been traveling in the trailer for some time and between the sweat and the noise Rin was ready to murder someone. Meditating didn't help. The armor he wore had enough coolants to keep away a heat stroke but not enough to make him comfortable.The heat dug into his body, sweat coating his skin and when he tried to go inward it carried him out back to the heat.

His drivers did not suffer from the same issues. They wore the same armor that Rin did but they had the demeanor of men in a situation much more comfortable than their current one. They chatted with each other despite the heat and a jar of spiced pickles sat between the two command chairs. Occasionally they would reach in to eat one, Rin flinching every time they did.

Rin didn't like desert worlds. For one thing they were deserts and usually with enough suns that the pleasant side effect of artic cold nights were far and few between. And if wasn't for the job he'd be on ice at the moment, blood freezing in his skin as he heatbeat slowed.

"So Mr.Rin," The driver he had come to know as Baldy said. ".you okay back there?"

His copilot elbowed him in the ribs. "It's not Mr.Rin, it's Mr.Kuro."

"What?"

"Kuro Rin." The copilot said. "Japanese. First name is last name, second name is first name. So call him Mr.Kuro."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." The copilot replied. "Japanese."

The pilot bobbed his head a couple of times, absorbing the information and looked back at Rin. "Is that true Mr.Rin?"

"Technically." Rin said. "I'm not Japanese but we follow the same naming conventions."

"That's interesting Mr.Rin." Baldy said. "I'll keep that in mind.

The trailer was silent. The whine of the tires started to pick up volume, in the absense of voices and after a moment the copilot spoke up again. "Did I not just tell you his last name is fu"

They erupted into another argument, their accents mixing into each other until they ceased to be two people. Rin closed his eyes and let the voices pass over him, the sound taking away the sweat and heat.

The two of them were idiots. Rin had figured that out the second he saw at the spaceport, trying to court scavers to enroll their services. They were not bad men. Rin felt for what he would do to them.

The argument about Japanese names and two others began and ended before the wheels started to quiet down. The desert outside the windows did not start to give away to anything but from the sand structures began to sprout. Metal spires, some broken and others almost untouched, took away the emptiness of the desert and instead replaced it with a rainforest made by men, reaching so high into the sky they blotted out the sun.

Rin looked at them curiously. He had never seen anything like them on Jenko. Tradition was tradition and even the corporate areas never made any real attempts to assert themselves over the cold. The metal struck him as blasphemous at first, than a curiosity before settling into scenery he would try his best to remember when the job was done.

"Welcome to the metal forest Mr.Rin."

"Baldy!"

"What?"

Before another squabble could break out between the two, Rin stood and walked into the cockpit. Baldy and Shogun stopped talking and taking advantage of their silence Rin overlaid his map on the one in the dash.

"Mr.Rin?"

The dot beeping on his map was close. Within a mile give or take depending on how good the local satellite array was.

"Mr.Kuro?"

"This is where you guys are going to earn your paycheck." Rin said. "Look for a ship. Old but distinctively human."

"A ship?"Baldy said.

"Yes a ship. Salvage. Get me to it in the next ten minutes and there's a bonus to you."

Greed didn't appear in their eyes but a healthy appreciation for money did. They hunched over in their seats and scanned the horizon for wrecks.

"Is that it Mister Rin?" Baldy said after a moment. He pointed to a vague shape through the windshield.

"No, that's a tree."

"And that one?"Shogun said.

"No,"Rin said turning to face him,"that's not."

Rin stopped mid sentence.

"Mr.Kuro?"

It was a wreck, buried in the sand, falling apart but still a technological marvel. It dwarved the trailer by degrees, the technology that allowed it to fly draping its side and it almost perfectly aligned with the dot on the map.

"That's it."

"It is?"Baldy said.

Rin nodded his head and Baldy throttled the engine surging towards it. Rin grabbed the command chairs with either hands to avoid being thrown backwards and Shogun started to yelp. If he had a gun, Rin was sure he would have started shooting it.

The end came thankfully fast. The car stopped, Rin tripped and was all but trampled by Baldy and Shogun in their rush to leave the car. By the time he got up and out they were already up the dune with the ship jumping up and down in excitement.

They were idiots. Rin had known idiots before. Some were ignorant, some were malicious and others were just kind people who happened to be dumb. Baldy and Shogun fell squarely into that last one.

Rin hesitated before fetching his comm. He pushed three buttons and waited patiently as the call connected.

There was a beep and a tinny voice came over the speakers."Rin?"

"I found the ship. "

"Witnesses?"

Rin said nothing.

"Rin?"

"Two." Rin said. "Just two scavers. They're harmless though, won't tell a soul if I pay them enough."

There was silence on the line. The voice on the other end didn't reply and didn't have to.

"They really are harmless. They didn't even know what Jenko was before I told them."

The line cut off and all Rin heard was the steady buzz of a strong signal.

Baldy and Shogun were still dancing as Rin made his way around the back of the trailer where his bags were. He had no guns or missles but he did have one weapon he had been able to sneak in. It was buried under a pile of clothing, in a long black box and he gently removed it from the bag before placing it on the ground.

The sword inside was modern metal. Slightly curved, because tradition was tradition and just as deadly as any lazer or gun. He took it out, pulled the blade out to look at it's edge and snapped it back shut.

It had never occurred to him before how ugly it looked. It wasn't gleaming steel or had the air of craftmanship. It was stamped and made from moulds that produced thousands of twins on a daily basis. It looked like a weapon.

"Mr.Rin!" A voice echoed over the sand. "Are you coming?"

Rin placed the blade along the side of his leg and began to make his way to the voices.

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May dread be heaped upon the Doom Slayer
For his might is most horrific
May fear be due to the Doom Slayer
For none have survived his wrath

Perhaps it was folly
Destroying his world
Our fate perhaps sealed
As we let him away

We thought none could oppose us
We thought ourselves as gods
Proved most wrong when he came
Wreaking havoc ruinous

We learned of home's weapons
As he tore through our ranks
With chainsaws and plasma and rockets
Leaving only scattered remains

Our mightiest warriors
Reduced to mere gore by him
Our great Icon of Sin
Supposedly slain from within

In desperate last hopes
We sealed him in a tomb
Even this could not stop him
He was freed again to visit ruin

So take heed spawnlings, listen well:

Should you see the Doom Slayer, escape him
To fight him is to seal your own death
To catch his eye is to be hunted

Till such a time where he is freed
And returns to Hell nevermore
Tell all who roam the wastes of Hell
To be wary of he who is our Doom, for he is truly evil.

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