First adventure

>first adventure
>"in recent weeks, the goblin raids on the village have become more and more frequent. you are to travel to the goblin's lair just outside of town and put an end to these raids by any means necessary."

I mean... you're apparently starting at first level, what are you expecting?

...

>what are you expecting?
Oh I don't know... A bit of creativity on the DM's part perhaps?

I guess that's asking too much.

That's literally how Rise of the Runelords starts.

I mean, Pathfinder is trash, but that module isn't all bad.

>first adventure
>guy decides he needs to complain about non-issues

Is there a problem?

>talk goblins into moving somewhere else
>strike deal with goblins to take over the town
>strike fake deal with goblins to take over the town, have townsfolk prepare ambush
>lure some bigger monster to wipe the goblins, insists village still pays you because you fulfilled letter of the deal
>enslave the goblins for cheap workforce
>enslave the goblins and establish goblin breeding facility for steady XP supply

...

>first adventure
>DM's first sentence
>"After the nukes hit the West Coast a few years ago, we knew that God was fucking dead. Humanity killed Him with our very own hands."

>mfw

Run your own game then ingrate.

Well, what would you run as a first encounter?

Apparently you misunderstand. All creativity needs to be on the part of the DM. Players can't be expected to interact with boilerplate settings in new and interesting ways to create a unique experience. They need to be constantly titillated by DMs that force themselves to reinvent the wheel from scratch with every campaign. It's almost as if you think this is collaborative storytelling, rather than a DM reading you a book in which he's prepared lines for people to read.

If it did not take half the game to make your shitty online build to become a viable character, we would not need to slaughter mooks until then.

Sounds like it's gonna be a political intrigue game
>dem corrupt local officials not giving a fuck aboung the goblins raids
>the rebellious peasantry fed up with goblins trampling their crops and official tax collectors taking what little else they're able to grow
>PCs having to spend more time killing peasants and the barony's personal militias than goblins

And then there's the bigger question: What's pushing so many goblins out of their ancestral mountains down onto the plains?

>PCs eventually have to seek out and talk to the Goblin Emperor to find out what the REAL threat to the kingdom is

Literally ANYTHING but that.

Clearing out the goblin cave is the most boring cliched way you can begin an adventure. I honestly haven't ran an adventure like that since the 90s not even for new players.

If you actually run this you're a shit DM. End of story.

Uh huh. That's a non-answer. Give me a proper example of a "good" first adventure.

Besides, everyone knows the the actual most cliched one is giant rats.

I know you're being sarcastic, but I know players that actually think like that.

>First time DMing
>Party consists entirely of people who have never played TTRPGs before except one guy
>Make goblin cave encounter just to introduce them to how things work

Now I'm paranoid you're one of my players

>ANYTHING but that.

How about the simplest quest of all;

Lets go home.

To go home, you must travel through the goblin infested caves.

Nothing wrong with goblin lair delving, just have the goblins take a shine to the party and make the goblin lair their base of operations.

Better.

Its better than just "Go here, kill shit, get xp".

It offers the possibility of stealth, subterfuge and alternative paths.

How about something that actually motivates the players into action.

>a thief pickpockets one of the PCs. A chase ensues. The thief is a member of a powerful thieves guild. Killing him results in making powerful enemies and sets in motion a chain of events.

OR

>the PCs start the adventure in chains. They've been taken as slaves and must find a way to escape their captors. The slave caravan is attacked by bandits. The slavers promise to free the PCs on the condition that they help them defeat the bandits.

That's just off the top of my head. Two scenarios that involve the players, make them care and get them to make decisions. Where is the motivation for the players to clear out the goblin cave?

Honestly, no offense, but if you can't come up with something more original than "clear out the goblin cave for 100g reward" then DMing just isn't for you.

It'll be easy to find out user. Just put a giant dragon dildo on one of the chairs. Since OP is a massive fag he'll obviously pick that one.

>You awake in a prison/captured

A storm of soldiers from the neighboring country, with emphasis on providing support to the town's army, impeding them, and generally fucking up their plans all over the place and relaying info to the army.

see

I think "kill the goblins" is a fun cliche for early levels.

>Lets go home
>simplest quest of all

Odysseus would like a word with you

Fuck starting captured or enslaved, just fuck that shit right off your list.

Every fucking campaign I was in during the 80's started with this shit and it was tired and boring then.

See, was that so hard? Next time, OP, actually brng soemthign to the table first before you complain.

>Thieves Guild
>Caring about shitty thieves who can't even rob beginner adventurers

>Escaping captivity
>Attacking bandits
That's even more generic then clearing out goblin caves.

You suck at this.

He's not even hard desu

>pouting like a child
>on Veeky Forums
>2 jaded 4 u
>lvl 1 char

Fuck off.

>Old stories are mandatory boring
"The 13th warrior" was written by someone who wanted to prove that point wrong.
With good storytelling, even the most used cliché can become engaging.

>first adventure
>in recent weeks you have struggled to survive in hostile territory. you have found some temporary shelter but a group of hired killers have been dispatched to destroy you
>you are all goblins

That was just dickass SM dropping shit loads of obligatory side-quests on him.

Many of which passing through realms more than a little "magical".

The original quest never changed in its simplicity. Just the shit surrounding it.

It's about giving the players motivation.

There's no motivation for them to kill goblins.

>you are all SAD

>go to the goblin's lair
>he was in the town last week to pick up groceries
>he doesn't know what the hell this raid shit is about

Thunt gtfo the board and get back to drawing.

None of that game's bosses were hard, just annoying.

Made even worse by ng+ being literally just the same game with a higher level character. This is like going through a module with characters that just finished it to get the hidden crap they could not find on the first play through.

Aaaaaaaand. I'm stealing this as an optional side quest

Goblins are assholes. What more motivation do you need?

The goblins' stuff? The sadistic thrill of violence against lesser beings? The XP?

>in recent weeks, the goblin raids on the village have become more and more frequent

Oh yes, there is no motivation at all. Let the goblins in, let them burn our shit and kill our kids.

JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX JERRY, THE GOBLIN RAIDS AINT SHIT.

Explain to me why the players are supposed to give a fuck about this village that they're probably not even native to?

>Literally ANYTHING but that.
Okay, instead you'll go clear out the goblin den.

Okay, so the group finds themselves in a bar and spits a hooded figure sitting in the corner...

>that goblin picture

Tell me where in the op either of us can claim that they are native or not?

That's already better tbqh familia.

>typical party of human, elf, dwarf, dragonborn are all native to the same town.

Fuck off retard.

>>first adventure
>>"in recent weeks, the KOBOLD raids on the village have become more and more frequent. you are to travel to the KOBOLD's lair just outside of town and put an end to these raids by any means necessary."

here you go buttface

hahaha you're so clever xDDDD

Seriously just kill yourself faggot.

If you run a goblin cave adventure you're a SHIT DM. Please either stick to being a player or find another hobby.

Tell me in the op where the human, elf, dwarf and dragonborn are in a party together, my very angry pal.

I do not mean the spew he posted after making the thread, the op itself.

#NotAllGoblins

Oh, it's bait.

Guess I should just admit I am a moron and go have fun why you win at the internet for the day.

Simple doesn't mean easy, bitch.

>entering Kobold turf
>when they had plenty of prep time
that's something I would hesitate doing on level 5

Here's what I suffered from a shit DM like OP :
>first session
>is actually only a exposition scene of the 6-parts scenario the DM homebrewed
>first fight was two weeks later
>got to lvl2 a month later, the whole table agreed that the guy would never DM again

Look mate, it's okay. I get it. You're a shit DM with no imagination so you run boring dungeon delve adventures.

Someone on a chinese cartoon forum points out how fucking gay, trite and unimaginative that is and you got triggered.

You're just bad at DMing. There's no need to sperg out to this extent though.

>Goblin starts yelling about you needing a warrant to search his home

>play Dungeons and Dragons
>get mad when there's a dungeon as part of the plot

Go back to FATE, and make sure you wear a bib to catch your dribble, you fucking baby.

Because they are NG mercenaries

That the best you got?

At least call his mother fat or a bitch.

You all finished yet?

>running dungeons and dragons
>first adventure is always a dungeon
>first adventure is never a dragon

If I wanted to play a generic dungeon delve I'd just play a CRPG.

>All this bitching about DMs
RUN YOUR FUCKING OWN GAMES YOU LITTLE SHITS.
HOW ABOUT NOT BEING A SHITTY PLAYER FOR ONCE?
TIRED OF SHITS LIKE YOU BITCHING ABOUT THE SHIT I RUN, THEN YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING BOTHER TRYING TO FUCKING FILL IN THAT ROLE SO I'M THE GOD DAMN DM FOR THE FUCKING BILLIONTH TIME.

People complaining about this shit are cancer.

>he's never sent people chasing after a Whelp or Wyrmling

You can change it up. Most level 1 parties don't know how to deal with a Dragon, even a baby one.

>DMs are above reproach

Fuck off.

Most groups take it in turns and some people are just shit at DMing. They're the kind of faggots who run goblin cave adventures and give the town blacksmith a gruff scottish accent.

If you're going to be a DM at least put some fucking effort into it.

D&D is the precursor to CRPGs. Get out of this system if you don't like it, moron.

>entitled player
I can green text too fucker.

You try running something that isn't fucking 'goblins in caves' and just watch your fucking retard players drool all over themselves.

Get your hipster shit out of here

I think that is the best way to begin an adventure. Even recent Lost Mine of Phandelver starts like this and it's a great module. Fuck off snowflake shit.

I love including dragons in first level adventures, especially for new players. Even if its not a straight up fight, it feels good to show them off.

Very well, there are a bunch of UNDEAD in a cave, go kill them before they eat your face.

>i play with retards therefore you must also play with retards

You're just a shit DM. Accept it.

It's not the players' fault. It's yours.

You run generic cliche adventures because you're too much of a moron to run anything else.

>projecting
Back when game of thrones was new, my players clamored for that kind of shit.
Turns out, they didn't read a fucking thing and treated that shit like it was ye olde hack and slash.

And it's not fucking them. Even fucktards like you from Veeky Forums can't fucking handle more than a fucking cliche setting cause you don't bother putting any fucking effort into learning it.

Fuck off retard

>Killing him
...why kill him?
Is it in character to kill him?
What did he still that you must kill him?
What if the player will be just like "Givce it back to me! Okay. Now go away!"

Aw, did I bweak your pwecious wittle start?

Of course nobody bothers reading your bland generic Clichea v3548572. Nobody cares. It's shit. You're a shit writer and a shit DM.

People do care about settings that they're familiar with though like FR, Eberron, Dark Sun, Dragonlance, et al.

There is no motivation for killing a thief

>You suck at this.

Alright, what do you think constitutes an interesting first quest?

Not at all. I admire your creativity.

Most of the retards here would probably just kill him for the 5XP though.

Odysseus could have went home if neither he nor his crewmembers were retarded.
>lol i'm nobody, wait im odysseus
>hey these cows belong to apollow we should eat them

Holy shit, you actually managed to come up with two examples that are straight up worse and MORE on rails.

>Have him as an NPC join the group if they don't kill him
>He has a plan for some dungeon (lol D&D amiright?)
>Dungeon turns out to be full of traps
>thief fucks with the whole crew stealing their shit
>welcome to level 0, bitches

The Simpsons did it.

>implying running a cliche setting means all you run are cliche settings
But then again, this isn't even very good bait. I can stomach the taste, though.

Worse how?

Let's hear your brilliant level 1 adventure hooks then.

Let me guess, no one liked your homebrew?

More like

>A thief pickpockets one of the PCs. The PC had all of 2 gp to his name, and says "fuck it," opting instead to walk into the nearest inn and find a quest to kill Goblins and make some real cash.

Your assumption that players can't make decisions when it comes to killing the crap out of a bunch of Goblins is indicative of someone who has literally never played D&D before.

Odysseus didn't do anything wrong though.

Beyond The Wall covers how to do this.
With a goblin raid. Educate yourself you ungrateful wretch.

He stands accused of not being genre-savvy.

>be an ancient Greek
>willingly and knowingly piss off a Greek god

>Your assumption that players can't make decisions when it comes to killing the crap out of a bunch of Goblins is indicative of someone who has literally never played D&D before.
Or any Pen & Paper for that matter.

Telling Polyphemus his real name is the main reason he can't go home directly. The gods may place shit in his way but he antagonized the son of a God purely because he was boasting his victory.

>just murdered and raped his way through one of the largest cities in the region
>didndonuffin