False Dendrite Quest 180

My name is Cecile, and I'm sixteen years old. I already thought my life was odd, what with my parents having moved halfway across the country for their new job and leaving me in the care of my older sister... but then my best friend went and had a book shipped to my house that ended up giving me superpowers.

Thanks to said superpowers, I've been dragged into all sorts of horrible situations, the latest of which involved a masked thief who wanted revenge against me for killing a friend of his.

But now that asshole is dead (and it wasn't my fault for once) and I'm finally able to go back home and relax like a somewhat normal person again... albeit one who can shoot lasers and has a girlfriend who can talk to animals.


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Slipping free of Charlotte's grip on my arm, I hop up from the couch and start towards the doorway.

"C'mon," I say, motioning to Charlotte, "let's go help my Mom with the groceries."
"Eh?" Charlotte seems kind of dazed. "Er- sure, of course."
"Jeannette's back?" my father cranes his neck in the direction of the door. "Guess I'll help out too..."


>that's fine, me and charlotte can take care of thus ourselves
>the more the merrier

Hey arch! Just as I was going to sleep.
>that's fine, me and charlotte can take care of thus ourselves

>the more the merrier

>>the more the merrier

>he more the merrier

>that's fine, me and charlotte can take care of thus ourselves

>writing

IMAGE IS NOT CANON
SAKE HAS EVEN DROP

Wrong Oni.

EMP_Thats_the_wrong_Oni_Senpai

The right Oni is here.

mai waifu would never wear something so scandalous

But she is! And why haven't you dug into all those turkey legs by now?

Don't think you can tell her what she can or cannot wear. This isn't the 15th century, women can wear whatever they feel like.

Your other waifu sells her anus.

Hey fluff, you been to hive quest yet?

Lies and slander.

Shit, it's back already? I thought it died out awhile ago.

It's live right now

Aha!

Courtney of /u/

Oh man, juggling quest again. Ah well, it's a Sunday night. I can do this. I hope

What's a rezu?

It's moon for lesbian.

Eh, the more the merrier.

Leaving Irene behind (since we really don't need FOUR people to help with this), we move out of the living room and head to the front door. I'm the first person to reach it, and end up opening the door just as my mother was about to put her key into the lock.

"Er..." Completely taken aback by our sudden appearance, my mother takes a few steps back. "...I guess you're really excited about getting to cook?"
"The most excitedest," I say, nudging Charlotte with my elbow. "She practically flew to the door when she heard you coming..."
"I can confirm this story," Daddy says, solemnly nodding his head.
"Please," Charlotte groans.

It is clear that Charlotte is no match for our father-daughter tagteam teasing.

"Well if you're that excited about this then you can go ahead and take the stuff out of the car," Mom says.

She then presses the button on the car remote to pop the trunk, and out go Charlotte and my father to take care of the heavy lifting.


>I am here as a supervising position
>I will help pick up heavy things too!

>>I will help pick up heavy things too!
gettin Veeky Forums

We -are- gay enough.

>>I will help pick up heavy things too!

>I will help pick up heavy things too!

>writing

Not one to be left behind, I crack my knuckles and start down the steps.

"Hey, where are -you- going?" my mother calls out to me as I walk past her.
"To help with the groceries," I reply. "Daddy's a gorilla and Charlotte's as strong as one but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try and contribute too."
"Yeah, but-"

I continue on, reaching the car just as Charlotte pulls a huge group of bags out of the trunk with both hands.

"Uh, want me to help with that?" I ask, holding out my hands.
"No," Charlotte shakes her head, "I've got this."
"You sure?" my father calls out, his voice obscured by the sound of crumpling paper bags. "'Cuz you took an awful lot."
"Really, this is nothing at all."

I notice Charlotte smirking as she makes her way back up the stairs, then past my mother and into the house.


>[1/?]

>[2/2]


"Wha?"

I stand there as my father closes the trunk with his elbow and begins walking back to the house with just as many bags as Charlotte had.

"This's the last of it," he says, giving the bags a little shake. "So you just got off lucky."
"Uh-" I stammer, "do you want me to take some of those off your hands?"
"Nah," he replies, "I'll be fine. Not to mention that it'd hurt my pride as a man to let your girlfriend outdo me in something like this..."

Why am I not surprised.

"Uh," he peeks into the car window, "it looks like there's something in there, though. Why not get that?"
"Oh?"

While my father carries his cargo back into the house, I look inside the car. And sure enough, there's a small paper bag sitting in the floor.

"Guess this's all I -can- do," I mumble while pulling on the door handle.

Locked.

"Hey Mom!" I call out to the nice lady on the porch. "Unlock the door!"
"Huh?" she shouts back. "Why, all the groceries were in the trunk!"
"You left something in the back seat!"
"Ah-"

She hurries down the stairs and positions herself between me and the car.

"I can take care of that, so..."


>press the issue
>if you say so...

>press the issue

What's in the box?

>>if you say so...

A cactus

>if you say so...
>let me guess stuff you'd tease me or Allison about mercilessly?

>>if you say so...

>writing

"What, is it something that you'd tease me or Allison for buying?" I ask.
"No, it is not," Mom replies.

And the she flicks me right in the middle of the forehead.

"Now quit being a smartass and get in the house," she says.
"Alright," I mumble, "fine, you child abuser."

Clutching my throbbing forehead, I leave my mother behind and go back inside for fear of what she'll do next. And now that I'm done "helping," I guess I'm free to do whatever again.


>kitchen fun times
>bugging the irene times
>phone fun times

>>kitchen fun times
We must oversee the cooking process and offer our unsolicited advice, so nobody messes up.

>>kitchen fun times
Fun for the whole family! And Irene, I guess.

>writing

"Where do I put these canned vegetables?" Charlotte asks, pointing to a stack of them on the counter.
"Right in the cabinet in the corner of there," my father replies.
"The bread goes here, right?" Irene asks.
"Yeah, that's it," he nods. "I'l take care of the stuff that goes into the fridge so you don't have to worry about that."
"Alright."

I can't help but find this scene kind of amusing. While it's pretty much a matter of course now to see Irene doing this stuff, the mere thought of Charlotte helping out with household chores fills me with a strange feeling.

"Oh, there you are," my father peeks over the open fridge door. "Did you get that bag out of the car?"
"Nah," I shake my head, "Mom was being weird about it so I left it."
"Huh," he shrugs. "Well now that you're here, you can help us put all this crap away. I would say to leave out the stuff that Charlotte's supposed to be using to cook dinner, but I have no idea -what- she'll be using so..."
"Yeah, yeah," I sigh. "Just leave it to me."

With the addition of my expert putting-things-away skills, the kitchen is free of clutter in no time at all.


>[1/?]

>[2/2]

"Of course you come back right when we get done putting everything away," I say to my mother as she steeps into the kitchen.
"Watch it, buddy," Mom cuts me a sharp glare.

She then gives the room a quick once-over and lets out a long sigh.

"Of course you put away the stuff we were going to cook with..." she groans.
"Sorry," Irene replies, "we didn't know what you'd need, and-"
"It's fine," she shakes her head, "just me being grumpy. Now everyone except Charlotte get out."
"Wha?"

We all stare at her.

"Gordon is huge and will only get in the way," Mom says, "and the same goes for the rest of you. I'm not trying to be mean, but we need space to cook."
"Aye aye," Daddy salutes his wife. "This is not my battlefield."
"Just call if you need anything," Irene says.


>you're not getting rid of me so easily
>the cecile makes a hasty retreat

>the cecile makes a hasty retreat

>>you're not getting rid of me so easily
Nooo our expertise is required!
Actually we just want to watch Char cook.

>you're not getting rid of me so easily

>the cecile makes a hasty retreat

Peek at them from the doorway

>>the cecile makes a hasty retreat
We can intrude a bit later. If Jeannette wants to be alone with Charlotte, she probably has a reason.

>writing

I join my father and Irene in exiting the kitchen, leaving only my mother and Charlotte to engage in whatever dark sorcery goes on in that room when I'm not around.

"I wonder how long they'll be cooking," I mumble to myself while walking through the hallway.
"No idea," Daddy shrugs. "But I'm sure they'll tell us when it's time to eat."
"Well it's only like two in the afternoon now, so..."
"Meh, pies tend to take a while to cook. Now c'mon before your mother gets annoyed with us messing around out here and throws something at us. And by 'us,' I mean 'me.'"


>into the living room with us!
>imma peek at them from the doorway

>imma peek at them from the doorway

We are the sneakiest sun

>>into the living room with us!

>imma peek at them from the doorway

>>imma peek at them from the doorway

>writing

But anons we could have gone into the living room and peeked at them through the doorway with our INVINCIBLE LIGHT POWERS!

Daddy and Irene continue on to the living room, but I choose to stick around here in the hallway. Once they're fully out of sight, I go into full--on sneaking mode and tiptoe back towards the kitchen doorway and peeeeeeeek my way inside. I am the best at this.

Inside, I find my mother and girlfriend in what seems like the early stages of cooking preparation. Charlotte's got out a cutting board and knife, and my mother's walking towards her with a handful of vegetables- celery, carrots, all that healthy stuff that I rarely eat on my own.

"I'm only 'helping' you out here," Mom says, "so you'll have to do all the actual grunt work. If not, it wouldn't really count as -you- cooking."
"Yes, that makes sense," Charlotte nods. "Thanks for going out of your way like this for what was just a stupid bet between Cecile and myself..."
"As if I'd give up the chance to have fun," she laughs. "And besides, this also serves as important bonding time between the two of us!"

With a big warm smile on her face, my mother places the vegetables she was holding onto the counter by Charlotte and then hands her one of the knives off of our rack thing.

"First, I'll need you to chop these up while I get the pots ready," Mom says. "You -do- know to do that much, right?"
"Yes," Charlotte nods. "I'm not completely helpless."
"That's good to know!"


>[1/?]

Methodically, Charlotte lines up all the carrots and celery on the cutting board and prepares her knife.

Chop. Chop. Chop.

The speed that she's doing it makes it obvious that she's not in any way comfortable with cutting vegetables, but she still doesn't seem to be messing up either. I'd say that it's an admirable effort.

"Hm, looking good," my Mom says, peeking at Charlotte's handiwork as she passes her by on the way to the sink. "It's okay if they're not absolutely perfect though, it's all going to get smooshed together when it cooks anyways."
"I'm just trying not to screw up," Charlotte replies with an uneasy chuckle. "I know all too well that appearance affects how it tastes..."
"To an extent," she replies. "Still, it's cute how hard you're trying. I bet Cecile would really enjoy seeing you push yourself for her sake."
"Eheheheheheheheh..."

Charlotte lowers her head like she's just been defeated.


>[2/?]

SHE KNOWS! WE MUST FLEE!

While my mother gets the water ready, Charlotte continues cutting up the vegetables. Once the carrots and celery are finished with, she moves on to the onions...

"Christ," Charlotte winces as she cuts into a fresh one. "Stupid things..."
"Oh, you're sensitive to those?" Mom asks.
"It seems like it," she grumbles. "Cecile had better appreciate this, my sinuses are on FIRE now."
"I can take over if it's that bad, you know."
"No," she shakes her head, "I can handle it.
"You're such a hard worker," Mom giggles. "Cecile would've given up the second her eyes started to water!"

Hey now, I'm not THAT much of a wimp.

"She'd never let me live it down if I did that," Charlotte says, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "This is a matter of pride for me."
"And a matter of -love-?" Mom teases.

CHOP

"Dammit..." Charlotte grumbles as she pulls the knife out of the cutting board.
"Eheh, maybe I oughtn't tease you quite so hard while you're using sharp objects."
"It's fine," she sighs. "And yeah, I guess it -is- a matter of love."
"Unexpected honesty," Mom laughs. "So she's that important to you?"
"Mmhmm."

CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP

The kitchen is filled with the sound of Charlotte's knife hitting the cutting board, as well as her sniffling from the onion fumes.


>[3/?]

>[4/4]

"Mind if I ask what exactly it was about my airheaded daughter that attracted a beautiful young heiress's attention?" my mother asks. "My husband and I were both SHOCKED when we found out that Cecile landed someone like you."

even the one who birthed you knows that you are a fool

"She's adorable," Charlotte mumbles.
"Oh?"
"Mmhmm," she nods. "Almost as adorable as my sister... and she's showed genuine concern for animals, too..."
"You're an animal person?"
"You could say that," Charlotte laughs. "I brought a cat and two birds with me when I came to this city, and all three of them adore her almost as much as I do."


>this is starting to get embarrassing...
>the cecile will not be deterred by mere spaghetti

>the cecile will not be deterred by mere spaghetti

Screw it there's no way Char doesn't know we're here already

>>the cecile will not be deterred by mere spaghetti

>writing

"And then she looks even more adorable when she's wearing cute dresses..." Charlotte sighs. "I keep meaning to sew her more of them, but things keep coming up."
"Oh, like what she had on the other day?" my mother asks.
"Exactly like that," she nods. "Frills and lace suit her -so- well..."
"Heh, I will admit that the two of you matched pretty nicely."
"Didn't we?"

Oh man, now she's swooning.

"And Cecile's nice enough to indulge my tastes, too," Charlotte says. "I know that it's not exactly her style, but she's never complained even once."
"Yeah, she's always been more on the casual side," my mother nods in agreement.
"It's not just that, either," she shakes her head. "I have some issues with, umm..." she lowers her head, "...-insecurity-, let's call it. But even so, she continues to put up with me regardless of how much grief I cause her and her friends."
"That's what it's all about, isn't it?" my mother laughs. "My husband's been a MASSIVE pain in the ass over the past few days but I put up with it anyways because I love him."


>[1/?]

>[2/2]

With the vegetables all chopped, Charlotte moves on to the chicken breast. She has a bit more trouble with this since it's less solid than the vegetables, but she soon gets a hang of it.

"So from what you've told me," my mother says as she adjusts the stove, "Cecile's the passive one and you're the dominant one..."
"Not really?" Charlotte replies with an embarrassed smile. "I'm usually the one getting caught up in -her- pace... she's definitely the dominant one."
"...is that so?"

My mother leans in close.

"Even though you're the older one?" she asks.
"Well she was the one to kiss me first," Charlotte mumbles, "and when-"

With her face now bright red, Charlotte backs waaaay away from her.

"I don't know if I'm really comfortable talking about this with her mother," Charlotte mumbles.
"C'mon, is it anything bad?" Mom asks. "I'm just trying to gauge how my little girl's turned out in my absence. Her sister's always been a fast one, so I do worry..."

Charlotte looks like she wants to run the hell away. I can't say that I don't feel the exact same way.

"I mean, Allison's been sneaking boys over here since she was at -least- Cecile's age, and it wouldn't surprise me if she'd started fooling around with them earlier than that... and with that kind of influence, I can't help but wonder if Cecile is similarly-"


>lalalalalalala I don't need to hear this
>I'm not going anywhere

>I'm not going anywhere
HOLD!

>>I'm not going anywhere
This is the future you chose.

>>lalalalalalala I don't need to hear this
This would probably be when Charlotte mentions that she knows CC is there.

That's were we just ask her why she played dumb for so long.

> other
Why are you talking about that stuff when you know I'm right here!?

>writing

"Similarly pretty?" Charlotte interjects. "Yes, I'd say they both really take after their mother as far as looks go!"
"No," my mother smirks, "I was going to say 'similarly -easy-.'"

Charlotte's face twists into an expression of horror, and so does mine. Why the HELL is my mother asking her stuff like that!? I mean the mere thought of Allison doing THAT is enough to make me sick to my stomach so how the hell would my mother be fine with outright asking my girlfriend if I'm...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh I want to scream but if I scream I'll blow my cover!

"Given your frequent sleepovers, my mind naturally drifts to certain assumptions, you see..." my mother says, shrugging innocently. "Now I'd be absolutely thrilled if she's still got her innocence, but with how much sex is thrown at kids nowadays on TV and in movies-"
"OH CECILE WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!?" Charlotte shouts in a total monotone.

And points right at the door where I happen to be standing.


>how the hell do I react!?

>>how the hell do I react!?
Run away while screaming denials that it has something to do with CC?

seconding

>>how the hell do I react!?
Now I'm ruined for marriage!

"Same thing I've been doing for the last 5 minuets you've known I was here."

"I’m not here!"
escape

What does that even mean?

>writing

"OH HEY SORRY I GUESS I GOT TURNED AROUND LET ME GET OUT OF YOUR WAY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

I do an immediate about-face and march right the hell away from the kitchen and away from everyone because oh my God what even the hell. I'm half-expecting my mother to chase after me and smack me on the back of the head with a slipper, but both she and Charlotte remain in the kitchen.

Nope, I'm just left to my own embarrassed misery.


>drown my embarrassment with action movies in the living room with the irene and my father
>drown my embarrassment with solitude in my sad, empty room

>>drown my embarrassment with action movies in the living room with the irene and my father

>Other
Get back in that room and tell Char she's the sweetest. Then
>drown my embarrassment with action movies in the living room with the irene and my father

>writing

With my brain completely frazzled, I stumble into the living room. The TV is on, and it looks like both my father and Irene are watching some action movie or another... I don't really care what it is as long as there's something to listen to that'll take my mind off of the SUPREME EMBARRASSMENT that I'm feeling right now.

"Yo," my father says as I sit down next to him. "What was all that shouting about?"
"Nothing," I mumble.
"It didn't -sound- like nothing..."
"Really, it was nothing."

Nothing worth talking about.

"Alright," he sighs, "I know when to take a hint. You down for some American Ninja? Because that's what we're watching."
"Yeah sure whatever."

Terrible acting and writing wash over me for the next hour, slowly chipping away at the shame that I'm feeling about my mother asking my girlfriend about my sexual habits and why the hell am I thinking about that stop it right now Cecile.

Nope, just focus on the Dudikoff.


>[1/?]

>[2/2]

My B-movie watching is interrupted by the smell of something tasty coming from the kitchen. Unable to resist, I turn my head in the general direction of the kitchen... and find my mother smiling at me in a creepy, CREEPY manner.

"Having fun?" she asks as she enters the room.
"Uh-"
"You know, eavesdropping is a habit that you ought to break."
"Sorry," I mumble.
"Oh it's fine," she replies. "Just a warning that you might end up hearing something that you didn't want to hear, that's all."
"Is this a conversation that I should be getting involved with?" my father asks.
"Nope, just girl talk," Mom replies.
"'Kay."

Just like a switch was flipped, he turns back to the TV and pays no more attention to either of us.

"Cecile, would you mind coming with me into the hallway?" my mother asks.
"Uh..."

I clearly have no choice in the matter here.


>the cecile is awash in dread
>the cecile is steeped in confusion

>the cecile is awash in dread

>the cecile is ready
failing that
>the cecile is steeped in confusion

>>the cecile is awash in dread
Ugh, talking.

>the cecile is awash in dread
Is it the dreaded lecture on safe sex!?
Also, morning arch!

>>the cecile is awash in dread

>writing

Time to bully Cecile?

Oh God oh God oh God. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh God why the hell is she calling me out is this going to be some kind of warning lecture about safe sex? Did Charlotte actually TELL her that we have sex!? That -I'm- the one who usually pushes -her- down!?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh I want to jump out the window and run away forever!

But instead of that, I get up from the couch and follow my mother into the hallway. I feel like I'm going to puke, but this is the tradeoff of having my parents in town... of course they wouldn't be as accepting of my Allisonishness as Allison herself is.

"So Cecile..." my mother says as we move further and further from the living room where other people are, "...I know things have been kind of different lately."
"Y- yeah?" I stammer.
"I don't want you to think that we've been ignoring you, okay?"
"Wh- why would I think that!?"

This is bad for my heart.

"Various reasons," Mom sighs. "Charlotte says that you've both been relying on each other a lot for support lately."
"Yeah... support..." I look away from her.
"Well your father and I, umm... we..."

Here it comes.

"Aaaaaagh, forget it," she blurts out. "Here."

She grabs my hand and places something on it. When I get over the initial shock, I look down, and...

"...a potted..."

It's a tiny little potted cactus with pinkish spines that don't look all that prickly. It's not the same type as the one that that bastard stole from me, but it's tiny and adorable and dammit I'm crying.

That's all for this thread, folks. Got to write a lot for a change, and even stopped on the point that I'd intended for it to. Go me!

the next thread will be Monday night.


and now questions

Good end!
How knowledgeable is Cecile about cacti?

I’ve run out of questions a while ago. Thank you for the thread.

Does CC remember to use condoms?

Thanks for the run, and all the others don't know what i'm going to do if this goes.