>applying for very conservative and very serious data security company in D.C.
>versus as heck
>could be my chance to get a good career going
>time to interview
>guy looks like he's serious business
>stern look
>crisp suit
>speak hair cut
>imagine an agent from the Matrix
>sweatingman.jpg
>interviewer asks he about a time I worked with a group
>Autism takes hold
>blurt out and experience with dungeons and dragons
>I visibly cringe afterwards as he chuckles looking down
>"you know I probably have character sheets on my shelf old than you; been playing since first edition
>we begin geeking out about DND
>"I can't find anyone in the company who plays, user"
>conversation turns to Wheel of Time because of my programming experience in making a game based on it.
>he loves the series, we discuss our favorite characters
>I then talk about how I have learned how to identify different posters on an anonymous image board based on how they write and the nature of their posts
>he mentions how skills like that are invaluable for job I'm applying for.
>interview ends eventually
>"expect a call from me later on in The week user!"
>mfw
Applying for very conservative and very serious data security company in D.C
Other urls found in this thread:
Holy crap, sorry for the typos; I'm on mobile.
Uh-Uh, sounds like someone in this thread has a gay crush!
And that's not me!
S-shut up!
He's old enough to be my dad haha!
>literally gloating about how you think you can find samefags
I hope you get the job, user, but you're such a fucking faggot, holy shit.
Hes old enough to be your big bear and crush your mancherry
>things that never happened
>"I might get a good job with people I might like and share interests with!"
>"God user you faggot"
Veeky Forums, ladies and gentlemen.
Hot.
Samefags and anons that you are shitstorming with are two different things user.
What's your favorite Wheel of Time book
That's some kinky shit user
You're a faggot, back to >>>/gaia/
On the off chance this is real, congrats user. Hope it goes well for you.
Okay then, OP, I've posted two other times in this thread as two other people.
Tell me what posts are mine.
Like that's a bad thing.
Does he have a salt-and-pepper look to him?
You're the detractors. C'mon, man. You just lobbed a lazy fastball over the plate with that one.
You might prefer Reddit. You could give some sweet upboats to funny D&D players who tell stories of totally random encounters in real life.
Hey, he has to be good at his job.
Call it training, it's much nicer than detractor.
>things that never happened The Simpsons edition
Did you really convince yourself user would believe your daydreams OP?
good for you.
at least you weren't applying for an ERP position.
Congrats on getting a great job with a boss you're slightly-more-likely-than-average to get along with.
The shadow rising.
Climax was amazing.
See you knew that wasn't me, OP, typing.
Well done.
I mean his language was way of from mine and contained no typos and lacked semicolons.
It happened homies. It was a pretty wild experience. I got incredibly lucky.
nioce try oh-pee
>I got a job from gushing about dnd and bragging about my imagined ability to identify samefags
Jesus Christ, this thread. Is even Veeky Forums as cancer as the rest of Veeky Forums now?
You were the last bastion, Veeky Forums.
It's summer.
I can believe it. Making connections with people is a sure way to get ahead.
Shit, I have a salt-and-pepper look, and I'm 25.
Wait, does this mean I could be landing skinny twinks this whole time? SHIT
>yfw he never calls
Enjoy your bear. Buy lube in bulk, you must satiate this creature.
There's something odd about this thread. I get the feeling 80% of the posts were made by the same entity, and that that entity is not human.
What job user?
And christ, your communications skills are awful, I hope it's something highly specialized.
On the other hand, I had an interview for a moderately prestigious government job up here north of the boarder regarding I&IT Business Continuity Planning.
I used MTG as an example of complex problem solving and threat mitigation through preparedness and proper response activities. It went over luke warm at best.
shh... not so loud... it can hear... it can see....
Hey guys, OP here, by thoroughly examining this thread I have come to a few conclusions:
>you are all white males between "18" and 30
>you all have some form of post secondary education, even if it's not completed
>you have a source of reliable income
>your friendgroups are small but the friends you have are meaningful
>you have a general enjoyment of snack foods, like doughnuts, pastries, chips, candy or chocolate
>you tend to drink carbonated beverages on a regular basis
You can literally just copy and paste this (and alter the age range a little for /b/) and you've got a general summary of any board.
Important skill on this fucking terrible garbage board.
You can pick the questfags out super easy and totally disregard them.
To be fair, that's a good descriptor for Veeky Forums denizens in general, and the general fa/tg/uy in particular, those aren't anything that needs analysis to conclude.
Still, I hope that the story is true, because someone will have had a good day
>Not true
>Not true
>Semi true
>True
>Not true
>Not true
Fuck you op
great story - compelling, and rich
Excellent statement user, I find your post both meaningful and insightful.
I find the following statement factually incorrect:
>You can literally just copy and paste this (and alter the age range a little for /b/) and you've got a general summary of any board.
I even placed 18 in "scare quotes" as a syntactical way of implying there are probably posters below your board's age limit, without directly contravening the established rules.
Many boards are made up of different demographics, for example:
>/gif/ is the most likely board to pay for a camshow, followed closely by /rk9/
>/mu/ is the most likely board to purchase a piece of anachronistic technology to "fit in", which is surprising considering an entire board is dedicated to retro video gaming
>/a/ and /jp/ are the most likely boards to have a "waifu" and purchase items for said "waifu"
Fuck you and fuck your boss.
Because the Wheel of Time is shit.
Did he died?
>>I then talk about how I have learned how to identify different posters on an anonymous image board based on how they write and the nature of their posts
>Forgets to mention he does so by replying to every post accusing him of being a faggot with a single shit post.
...
>what is self-advertizement?
Of course, he's gloating about it in a job interview if he thinks it will give him the call. Jesus.
Fuck your doubles and fuck you!
The Wheel of Time was boss as fuck! Until the last couple of books then it just got retarded.
If you got the looks for it you can go both ways, user.
>aka 90% of the middle class teenager population
>It was a pretty wild experience. I got incredibly lucky.
So... You did get your mancherry crushed?
Happy for you, user!
>28
>BFA
>income in fits and bursts. currently between jobs
>no friends, but a fiancee. count that how you will
>nope. I prefer to cook.
>nope. I eat healthy and work out daily.
2 for 6. 3 if I'm being generous.
Update us on how this turned out, OP
>questfags
user, this is a +18 board, only children get scared of the "evil monsters under the bed". If you need a strawman to explain away why your community sucks it's likely you're part of the reason it sucks.
Stay mad, stay sad
That's why he must satisfy the bear
Things that never happened - the Veeky Forums thread
The fuck is a salt-and-pepper look anyway. Someone who is vanilla as fuck?
Congratulations, almost everything is wrong, faggot
sage
Salt and pepper is in reference to hair colour; dark, but the person is old enough to have some grey or silvery hair, hence salt and pepper. Usually used in a positive context, for an attractive, more mature man.
Goodbye sides, i knew thee well...
>inb4: Sorry man, you totally don't qualify for the job but we're staring a group next week, wanna join?
That makes sense. Thank you for explaining user.
Sage for noncontribution
>you will never get a job by satisfying a bear
It hurts.
Only when it comes with a seven digit income.
Or double digit length.
No.
>post yfw OP when replies saying that the interviewer did ruin his boyhole but didn't gave him the job
Gonna need you to post date and time, friend. You can put on a shirt, if you want, though.
The dice at the bottom are those of the post number I was replying to. They got sort of cut off, though.
Wew lad
Oh, so they are! Well played.
Best datestamp ever.
Well, you got 2? It would be hard not to though, you could get more people with this one if you asked sports fans or whatever.
Nah ive had it happen at interviews before about all sorts of redundant shit
>with people
with a person, didn't you read the OP
God damn.
Well meme'd.
Wow, that's probably the most creative way I've ever seen somebody make a timestamp.
Good for you.
Holy shit.
tou fucking ché,
well fucking played.
I'm not sure the best way to prove people wrong is with tits
He'll just keep doing it in the future!
I'm not even mad, I am impressed.
>Yes, if barely
>Yes
>Yes, as "reliable" as can be in my country
>Spot on
>No, food is body-fuel
>I'm trying to quit because enjoying drinks too much is kinda hypocritical towards the above point
I'm not white and I just separated from the military so I'm currently unemployed and I barely eat any snack foods whatsoever.
At least do it right.
There's a lot of overlap in users between Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums, take away that shit about snacks and sodas.