Disguised Weapons

Clever ways to disguise weapons, in a reasonably standard fantasy setting?

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assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Animi_Avatars_(first_stage)
youtube.com/watch?v=TLhYLlib8U0
youtu.be/ZrWOrsjDNsc?t=34s
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Store the iron in your own blood, summon it by ripping it out of the palm of your hand

Inside a wheel of cheese.

Sword staff with a removable top, sword canes, etc.

Be a bee druid. You wear a beard of bees. Knives are concealed amongst the bees.

Religious icons can be large enough to conceal weapons. They might have compartments, or be false icons made of plaster or something that can be easily shattered.

I had a gunslinger in a game of Pathfinder who entered a gala dressed as a fat noble, and was padding out the outfit with bags of gunpowder and a dismantled rifle.

>Store the iron in your own blood

This would kill you.

>summon it by ripping it out of the palm of your hand

This would also kill you.

With Magic:
>Illusions
>Sneak weapons in ahead of time, mage hand them towards you
>Use spells that just make weapons appear
>Mage Hand their weapons before they can unsheathe them or whatever
>mind control guards
>make them kill with their weapons
>Have a pet, the pet can turn into a weapon with magic

Without Magic
>Hide them in things you're allowed to bring with you
>Sneak weapons in ahead of time, go for them when you can
>Do that sneaky card trick where you put a card behind the King's ear, instead its a knife, in his ear.
>find open window
>Party archer shoots your sword in through the window

The ever lethal dwarf bread. It uses powdered granite instead of that fancy human flour.

This girl here is a serial killer, Veeky Forums.

First she forces you to choke on a slab of bread. Survivors are waffled to death.

The sword is actually a club.

Wear a strong-woven silk sash with an ornate, very heavy clasp. Now it can function as a light flail, a garrote, or (if you have two buckles) a bola.

A leather or cord belt can be a disguised sling. Pebbles for ammunitions, or if really fancy, use gilt lead balls for shot that looks far more expensive than it is.

If female, pile up your hair and use those hair sticks (they look like knitting needles). Poison them or simply use as darts or stilettoes.

Shuriken are a cliche, but for a reason. Best used with poison.

Blinding/poison powders blown from a tube.

Gunpowder can be concealed in any of several ways, then assembled into a bomb on-site.

A very thin, springy steel stiletto blade can be concealed in a hat band or leather belt.

Remember that in any medieval-ish setting, people carry their own eating utensils: a knife in Europe, or chopsticks in parts of Asia.

Disguising yourself as an elderly or overweight serving woman gives you plenty of room to carry weapons.

Sole or heel of a boot can be hollowed slightly to conceal all kinds of things.

A scroll can conceal a weapon in the thickness of its case (leaving it able to fit an actual scroll) or a hollow roller. The end caps can conceal stuff, too.

A quill can have a needle tip (or one concealed in the other end). An ink bottle might have a false bottom.

This involves magic but it worked out pretty well.

Player played a fighter who's armor was magiced up to look like robes and who's greatsword was magiced to look like a walking staff. He originally did so to travel unnoticed but it resulted in foes thinking he was the party's mage so he went with it to try and lure enemies into attacking him.

In the Lies of Locke Lamora, they hid small daggers by wearing them on necklaces draped backwards. I always liked that.

>Party archer shoots your sword in through the window

There is no reasonable way this could possibly happen, but it would be awesome and also very Star Wars.

because nothing says conspicuous like a swarm of bees on your face.

Rope darts and meteor hammers can deal some damage with relatively small components.
A balestrino is a pretty small crossbow.

These generally rely on being small enough to conceal about your person or in objects or even as other objects.

>Sword canes
>Not just using cane shotguns

>"I'm working with gut and oak here shooting a three pound rapier, My arrows weigh a sixth of a pound. We're not even talking about accurate..."
>'CAN IT BE DONE!"
>"... Lose the hilt, stay within 20 feet, and you owe me a new string. Good luck catching the fucker"

Had an assassin hide small knives in ornate bracers for a military looking uniform. Used them for formal events. Plumage on hats could also hide needles, poisoned darts, or anything else that looks like a feather. Pic related.

Also, the hat on the left could also conceal a weapon inside. When I was in band we used hats like that, could easily fit water bottles inside them.

I did that in an old mmo, worked amazingly

Not storing iron in your blood would kill you.
It's what allows you to transport your oxygen.

Bee druid, while probably not the most effective means of disguising a weapon, is best suggestion so far.

I really like your religious icon idea. Nothing says fuck you like a cross with a blade coming out of the top of it.

Or throwing stars of David.

>disguising your weapons
>not BEING your weapons
Casuals

Tightly wrap reeds around a magical dagger or shortsword and dip the tips in pitch to create a torch. Light it and carry it, the intense light will prevent people from being able to look directly at it to recognize it.

Making it lose it's temper, this is not good for long term use of a blade.

I skimmed your post way too fast. At first, I read that as "Hide an assassin small enough to fit inside your hat."

That's hemoglobin. Since we're talking about magic here, I guess I can't say "You can't make an effective sword out of hemoglobin." but at that point you might as well vomit, and reshape your stomach acid into a sword, or even just use something like "summon weapon" or "flame sword" to get a weapon in a pinch.

There's a greentext vaguely related to this. Character was a prostitute and had another character stowed inside her ass or vagina or something.

How about a segmented sword and hiding the components about your body? Im imagining 4-5 bladeparts, with screw threads so it would still function semi propperly, and a sort of rail-fuller on the side that you can lock the parts with for strenght

>bladed belt:

>Rather than being made of one continuous line of material, this belt consists of many bits of tanned leather joined together by thick metal studs.

>On command, the belt’s wearer can transform the belt into a single masterwork slashing and/or piercing melee weapon of her choice. As long as she is holding the weapon, she can also revert it back to belt form with a command. Furthermore, the belt can be enchanted like a piercing and slashing melee weapon, using the cost of the belt as the cost of the masterwork item.

without magic
bows:
if you're strong enough, i suppose you could cover the ends of a flatbow with decorative brass/wood furnishings and string it in a minute when you need to.

crossbows
I'm not entirely sure, those things are rather bulky. they might be concealable if designed to be thin and ez to assemble. then they could be kept in pieces pressed against the body.

3lb is a little heavy for a rapier, but i like it

>bladed belt:
>not using urumi

Git good.

...

They're called fists.

A little, but well within the historical range.

About how much blood is required to have enough iron for a sword?
I am genuinely interested, sounds like a metal as fuck weapon for a BBEG

We've had a thread about that before, you might find it in the archives. The answer was approximately fuckton. By mass, there really isn't very much iron in the blood at all.

The rapier is actually a foil.

Grabbing some rough numbers from memory and google...

An adult male will have about 4g of iron in him, and 5l of blood. 70% of the iron is in haemoglobin in the blood, the rest is every here and there, so say 80% in the blood.

This gives us 3.2g of iron in his blood, or 0.64g/l.

Using traditional methods we might loose about half of the iron as we make our sword. So for a 1kg sword we'll need 2kg of iron as we start out. That'd be 3125 litres if we could wring out all the iron. But we probably can't. I don't really know how much of the iron is reasonable to say we can extract here (and obviously it'll vary immensely with the technology level and how much effort we think it's worth), but let's say just over half.

So about six cubic metres for a single hander of unremarkable to slightly smallish size.

Regarding those traditional forging methods, modern technology could probably reduce the processing looses by a decent amount if we really went all in for that, but by and large modern manufacturing methods are quite likely to increase the losses.

So, assuming you can get all the iron out, that's 625 people needed to make the sword.
So with a small margin of error and plot-hole magic, the Lord of Darkness can forge a shortsword out of the blood of 666 people and a longsword out of a thousand.
This is literally perfect.

>Short-sword forged from the blood of 666 people
Well this is being shamelessly stolen.

This, isn't a Monk technically a walking, talking disguised weapon?

"Welcome! We are the Lapsed Pacifists - honest, hard-working sorts in
the employ of certain caravan merchants. We carry no weapons ...
Well, beyond the odd pole-arm to ward our wagons against territorial
wolves, lions, boars and such. Why, yes, we do carry axes - for
firewood of course. Those bows? For fishing. Oh, surely such modest
implements cannot be considered "weapons" in the military sense! These
belt daggers? Mere tools for daily utility, sir! Quarterstaffs? Those
are but the walking sticks of our few senior members. Swords? We have
none, of course. Oh, those? Blades for clearing brush. They are heavy
and single-edged as you can see. It is as I have said: No weapons."
- Barker Zeb

assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Animi_Avatars_(first_stage)
These stylish motherfuckers are all the inspiration you need.

>blade divided into parts
Highlander intensifies
youtube.com/watch?v=TLhYLlib8U0

Going off of this, what could you make with the blood of 666 newborns or infants?
How many babies worth of blood is a single person?

Dwarf bread is the ultimate cure for hunger

Trekking through the wilderness, two weeks without food and all I have to do is think "Ye gods the only thing left to eat is that dwarf bread" and all of a sudden I'm not hungry any more

>Dat Discworld dwarfs reference

My brethren!

>Not just using cane shotguns

what about Axe-Cane combos?
youtu.be/ZrWOrsjDNsc?t=34s

Came here just to see if this was posted

>what could you make with the blood of 666 newborns or infants?
some sort of dagger probably.

>use baby blood dagger to sacrifice the men for the blood sword
What instrument would you use to sacrifice the babies, and what sort of blood would it be made of?

a spike of some sort?

What blood would the spike's iron be distilled from?
I'm casting my vote to either miscarriages, virgin menstruation, or paper cuts.

>paper cuts
that or condemned criminals.

now the real secret is that each weapon grants an order of magnitude to the power of the BBEG.

so the party may encounter an eccentric student of medicine, metalurgy, or some other craft collecting blood. creepy, but not too worrisome.
>the spike is forged

later they find the abandoned lair, perhaps in a condemned building, of a man who kidnapped and sacrificed babies, each drained of blood. all around are the symbols of arcane lore save one place, a small and seemingly incongruous forge and anvil, devoid of runes and all marks of mage-craft.
>the knife is forged

after that a cave seemingly carved in great detail and complexity in a work that would have taken a dozen men(or hundreds of babies) to carve the very walls etched deeply with the unmistakable brothers to the symbols in the building lair. not infants but fully grown men were killed here, their bones stacked neatly. carving tools sized for children litter the floor, half finished or cracked and broken sets of "knuckle-bones" carved as if for sale, knife handles, tacky jewelry, leather etc. again the place where there are no runes or markings is a forge and anvil this one warped in ways a knowledgeable smith would tell you "indicate a swordsmith teaching himself"
>a small sword is made

somewhere, deep in a forest a great fortress lies hidden, and somebody has started kidnapping Princes and Princesses...
>do not let the great SWORD be forged...

The Spike, forged with the blood of sin.
The Dagger, forged with the blood of innocence
The Sword, forged from the blood of subservience
The Great Sword, forged with the blood of authority

To keep with the motif, what would the last two of six weapons be, and what would they be distilled from?

Popes
then
GODS

monks pls leave

you know...a sensible mage would simply kidnap and drain someone slowly, keeping them alive to provide ever more blood for the forge...

Or make it from sheep. Humans are gaunt, difficult to capture, and not very subservient.

Gives them something to do in their spare time too. And something to eat.

Armor, forged of those you hate
A magic focus, forged of those you love

Forge them all, and blood of mortal men will be your domain. Err even slightly, and your blood shall run like a river.

Change the greatsword to a hammer or axe, and go with but with a Shield instead of focus.

The human blood is where the magic comes from, user! It also has to be from 666 unique members of the chosen group.

YES

it's either the BBEG's set of un-unmakeable tools of destruction that must be gaurded forever, or the ancient set of tools the BBEG is trying to obtain...

and in either case I LIKE IT.

and just how would sheep fuck up the spell?
that, and you run into a classic problem...
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow,"

or indeed a legion of individuals...

perhaps the party has a member whose secretly a member of whatever group the BBEG needs for their most recent project, then you can have a case of

"ah!, at last the final sacrifice! that blood you've spilled is the last that I need!" before he escapes down a pre-prepaired slide to escape...

Sin, innocence, duty, authority, hate, and love
I like it; good work, Veeky Forums

Strap your weapon down the length of your back it remains unseeen. Be sure to shout Yippee Kaia Motherfucker whenever you draw it.

Just hide your sword inside a sword. Problem solved.

>4

Disguise your bombs as small halloween candy.
Put your potions and other liquid volatile items in empty bottles of alcohol.
Disguise your club as a dragon dildo.
Stick your dagger inside your underwear and when people look at you funny, just say you have a curse which makes you erect.
Put your fists inside bandage wraps and claim they're damaged.
Carry around a sheathe without a sword so that you can pick up swords as you go and drop them as need be

Concealed carry is not a divine right in this kingdom.

You thought is gun, is actually gun. You're doomed.

You're forgetting about magic, user