Mecha Space Pirate Quest XXXIII

Welcome back, space pirates, to the thirty-third installment of Mecha Space Pirate Quest! As always, you are Admiral Roarke S. Starwind, leader of the Iron Kestrels space pirate fleet, master of the starship Rhinehawk, and pilot of the deadly Knuckle Kaiser.

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Last time, you fought a terrifying battle for your life (sort of) and uncovered the truth about Suleiman 1 (mostly). Currently you're floating in empty space, waiting for the scavvie ship's microgate projector to recharge so you can get back to Auditorium. It's not too onerous, though, as you've been able to spend several hours pillaging one of the UJCIDF's most feared aces.

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For a moment there I was thinking of the Masked Dude's second drone mech, then...remembered about clemmy. Oh yasssssssssss.

HYPE!

These meal bars taste pretty good when you're hungry and in the right frame of mind. The Pure Pure Puru's mess hall is small, crudely decorated with pictures of meat and vegetables on the walls for Jove-knows-what-reason, and generally wouldn't seem as pleasant as it does right now. The reason why it's palatable is leaning against you, her blonde hair tickling your neck as she plants kisses against your cheek and munches with surprising daintiness on her own meal bar. The two of you had to stop for food eventually, after all.

"I hate to do it, you know. I really do. But I've got to charge you for the repairs to your pilot suit's zipper. You know how it is, Starwind. The economy and...and what with the value of a credit these days and, uh, service costs and all. The point is I don't want to add it to your tab, but I've gotta." Captain Ashta is explaining why your short stay is becoming more and more expensive. Fucking scavvies, "And then there's the hotel fee..."

"Hotel fee?" You glance up at him and stop pretending he isn't there, "Wait a minute, lodgings are implicitly covered in what I'm paying you for transport. What are you trying to pull?"

Captain Ashta holds his hands up in a 'don't-blame-me' gesture, "I gave you three cabins since we're buddies, but you didn't use any of them when you and your military squeeze decided to take a little R-and-R. That bed has to be cleaned, you know?"

"That bed." You interject, "Has probably never been cleaned."

"Well, there's the inconvenience to whoever was bunked there." His eyes dart around, as shifty as two beady little mice scurrying in search of crumbs.

"The room was empty aside from the essentials, I'm not sure anyone was bunking there." You turn your head. You're a little stiff and your back aches, furrowed with scratch marks from Clemmy's nails, but you're still more than hale enough to tie Captain Ashta into a knot if this keeps up.

"Ah-ha! It could have been reserved!" SCAVVIES!

[Continued]

>tfw you cant make a super short range mega beam without it being amazingly expensive

God im so tempted to tell Clemmy to handle this

>"If it was reserved, why wasn't it locked or demarcated as such in any way whatsoever? I'd say the responsibility should fall on whoever's duty that was."

Have you just tried Mating and Linking 9 separate Beam Weapons? It takes up less space and achieves roughly the same effect of blowing something the fuck up.

That is an excellent idea.

Fucking Judau. Hopefully he mellows out abit once he turns into Grey Stoke.

It actually isn't, if you're actually using 9, because it'll still expensive as hell. 4 is probably more achievable.

I might just use a hyper energy melee weapon to try and get a similar effect

"Why wasn't it marked somehow?" You inquire.

Ashta's eyes gleam, "We're like one big, happy family here on the Puru, we don't need anything like that."

"Myyaaaaa..." Clemmy stretches, wriggles closer to you, and yawns, "Mm...you want to know something funny? Extortion is a crime. I've still got my uniform on, right Roarkey?"

"For the moment, yes." You reply succinctly.

"So I can arrest him and commandeer his ship if he tries to bully you." She bats her eyelashes at you with the sweetest of smiles. "Then you won't have to pay a penny and we can go on a date instead."

"Me, bullying him!? Lady, you're insane! I'm the one being taken advantage of, here!" Ashta's voice rises into a slightly whiny tone, "Can you believe this? I go through all this trouble to help a friend, put my own ship and life at risk to get him out of a jam, and what thanks do I get? Threats. Glares. Ingratitude, base ingratitude."

Clemmy's smile only becomes more sweet, and on impulse you grab her hand. Your timing is extremely fortunate, she had her hand on her belt buckle and was starting to pull out that nanofiber blade of hers. You shake your head at her, and she pouts and releases it.

"Do you think you can handle this without violence?" You ask her. She nods cheerfully. You grin, and nod at Captain Ashta, "I'll let her deal with this."

"W-wait! Roarke, buddy, come on! I'll throw in a free towel!" His protests are strident.

Red Siren marches into the mess hall, her impressive figure covered by a crimson robe instead of her full pirate captain attire. She has a beam pistol in her hand, and her musical voice effortlessly fills the room, "If anyone else would like to try and peek at me changing, I'll do more than just pistol-whip you. Well? Anyone feeling brave?" She points the pistol around the room, although her finger is off the trigger. She's a pro, after all.

You raise your hand.

[Continued]

Tell Clemmy to be nice to Judau. No permanent scars or maiming. Also, we should probably give him a tip.

And then let's go peep at Red Siren changing.

Those are only effective if you're got a really high attack modifier. I'd otherwise similarly suggest you go with multiple Mated, Linked Quick EMWs.

>give the person trying to gouge you a tip
What are you smoking man?

That actually does sound a bit more like what I want anyway

Mostly, I like Judau and his antics amuse me. I usually give extra nice tips to people who go out of their way to assist or amuse me.

Not sure about you man but I doubt most people find it that amusing when someone tries to rack up the price of a trip on you right after/before you finish boning someone else.

I'd be ok if it was something minor, but considering the situation and timing, this is just plain insulting to everyone. Besides, Judau will probably try to nickle and dime us if we continue with that sort of thing and next thing you know, he'll be in the Kaiser and BAM! Right into a asteroid.

Never give scavvies an inch.

"You don't count, darling. Silly dear man. Oh, Lieutenant! Were the two of you together? So that's where you got off to!" Much to your surprise, she smiles, "Congratulations!"

Clemmy blinks at her, seeming momentarily taken off guard, "Thanks?"

"Don't be embarrassed. I know you worked hard to see him and I'm happy your patience and passion paid off. I'll just take him back now..." Rosita puts a hand on your arm.

"No. You won't." Clemmy's eyes narrow. "Mine." She grabs your other arm.

Rosita huffs, "Really! I was being nice, this is completely uncalled for! It's MY turn!" She pulls on your arm.

"What turns?" Clemmy pulls the other way.

Captain Ashta looks faintly smug, "Y'know, I could give you some tips, Roarke, I'm a man of the world myself..." He slaps a leggy woman with long purple hair and a shooting star on her pilot suit on the backside as she moves past, and she gives him a smile and a kiss on the cheek, "...but I'd have to charge you."

"This is MY adventure with him!"

"He came here for ME!"

"On MY ship!"

"One way!"

"Military dog! I was being polite and reasonable!"

"Rich floozy! I only just got here, I'm making up for lost time!"

You're being tugged almost in half, but you're sturdy enough to endure it without being ruffled, "Thanks, Captain, but I'll be fine."

"You sure? Oh, I had a great idea for an upgrade to your mech since we've settled on your bill. Get this. You ready? You ready to have your mind completely blown? Imagine this. Instead of just transforming into a fighter, it transforms into THREE of them, which combine to form the Double Kaiser! Brilliant, isn't it!?"

You give him the most impassive look you possibly can. Which is just a hair shy of throttling him, "Girls, he's picking on me."

Three angry, feminine eyes hit Captain Ashta with the intensity of a Wels-class' beam batteries, and he holds his hands up to ward them off, "Alright, alright! Sheesh, just trying to help..."

[What say?]

>"Girls, you know I love you both, but if you argue like this, you're not going to get anywhere. So unless you intend to kidnap me and go on the run from the others for eternity (don't do that, by the way - I'll be very cross with you), you're going to have to agree to share."


>Instead of just transforming into a fighter, it transforms into THREE of them, which combine to form the Double Kaiser!
Sasuga scavvies. His munchkinnery knows no bounds.

>Instead of just transforming into a fighter, it transforms into THREE of them, which combine to form the Double Kaiser! Brilliant, isn't it!?
I suggest we do this. This is not only brilliant, it's so brilliant it retroactively retcons Mecha Space Pirate Quest Z out of existance.

Around a Scavvy, you best be savy.

No Getter Kaiser. We don't want the pilot of the yellow one to die.

[What say?]
Well, we could be here all day, fighting back and forth. That would cut down fun time for everyone involved. Work together, make the most out of the time we have to woo and impress.

Don't even joke, the Zeta was perfect. It had a beam bayonet. A beam bayonet!

I posted this a few threads back, but shit this G-reco mech is a dead ringer for the knuckle kaiser, except for the beam/missle shotgun in one hand.

Knuckle Kaiser Mk II? Knuckle King Kaiser?

Pull back towards you with your own strength. One girl in each arms.

"Girls. It's 'us'. This is 'our' adventure. I'll always be with you two girls. So, that means you two are stuck with each other. There is no taking back or losing. You know I already belong to the both of you. Let me repeat that. BOTH of you. Your both my special girls and I'm each of your Roarkes. Let's get along and spend the rest of the day together. Maybe you two might find something in common with each other."

Knuckle Kaiser Ghidorah when?

>visually similar to the Barzam
>shields with the right number of thrusters for the Kaiser Mk II.
>arguably defeated a gundam...and not just any gundam, but the G-Self...in its own show
>piloted by a Char

I actually had that image saved and approve wholeheartedly, but that's user's decision more than mine.

I like this one backing

Knuckle Kaiser mk ll Electric Boogalu

>the Zeta was perfect.
Yeah, the Zeta WAS perfect. Until Judau invented the ZZ which was so perfect, they gave it a power up and watched it solo all of Neo Zeon.

Also, I don't see the Zeta fighting top of the line military MS 60 or so years later and kicking the ass of all of them.

I give it my +1.

We are going to be upgrading to heavier arms anyways. Seems like a good picture for when the Kaiser bulks up.

Anyone got any ideas on how to make our legs less shitty? Literally only useful as a thruster storage right now.

Got to put thrusters somewhere.

MS sized grenades?

Feet constitute Melee Weapons. Our Mediumweight Legs give us a +2 bonus to melee combat involving them, which means that our kicks deal 4 Kills of damage - enough to ablate Beta Armor.

There's no reason we can't Inter-servo Melee Link them to our hands.

I forgot I mentioned that the mid-season upgrade would give you heavier arms. It's a significant upgrade, but it might be more costly than anticipated since I'm swapping my double-grapple idea for making your off-hand shield Active so it automatically parries the first attack each round.

The more OC and silly stuff Anons pull, the easier my conscience rests with giving you this beast of a machine sooner, even though your current Knuckle Kaiser is performing incredibly well.

Do the triple combiner thing Judau suggested and then Launch our leg parts at enemy MS.

Too bad Roarke sucks at any fighting that doesn't involve smashing people with his body.

What CP value does the Kaiser mkII have anyway?

Dumb-fire close range claymore mine-style frag launchers in the legs, so after a kick you can liberally sandblast whatever's left into a swiss-cheese scrap-pile.

And thanks for the kabakali support! Loving it guys!

We could switch out our feet for Talons which do 5k

or beam jack knives like the Infinite Justice Gundam/Aegis Gundam.

Just want to say I'm loving the hell out of Jew Dough.

354 currently, it might go a bit higher when I'm done editing it. This isn't quite as extreme as it seems, because currently the Kaiser's ATFs are woefully undercosted. See, I thought having the Handy property and being a hand made them take up 1 Space by default, but some smart user did the math and discovered that the Hands and other arm-extension-thingy-grabbers in the corebook use Space Efficiency to take up so little room. I promised months ago that if this turned out to be the case I'd give you free CP and raise the upgrade cap to compensate, and I'm a man of my word. The Mk II has this factored in and is completely legal.

Leg Extremities confuse me. Without exception, they take 0 Spaces, and cost and weigh less than an equivalent Melee Weapon would, but I'm not sure how to go about statting a custom one from scratch.

Fixed that for you.

The S-Flowerhorn has those too, although they're more like the foot-mounted beamsabers of Gundam Arche.

Are you, by any chance, attaching the Active Shield to a Weapon Mount instead of using Space Efficiency to make it entirely fit into the remaining Spaces in the arm?

Oh my. Thank you so much, kind anonbro.
I'm getting tingly in my mecha arousal pleasure center/brain/dick/goosebumps.

Oh yes.

Did you factor in the fact that they have the Clumsy drawback? That's the reason why, despite Roarke's original Harpy Custom having Talons (because it's purely a space mech and doesn't really walk anywhere), I haven't put anything like that on the KK or made it an upgrade.

If someone could even clumsily shop the sensor mask on there, I would be GREATLY appreciative.

Let's just get the foot heat knives of the Crossbone Gundams.

Need to keep our original head, but perhaps get the mouth to move. Both for intimidation, and so we can take a bite out of the First Mate. Maybe play something Ozzie while we do so.

>Hands and other arm-extension-thingy-grabbers in the corebook use Space Efficiency to take up so little room.
Actually according to the errata hands cost 2 CP because they wanted it to be a round, easy to remember number.

Isnt clumsy an optional thing?

I still say we should go reactive shield with enclosing to cut down the cost since it blocks everything that doesn't go over its sp

It has been a while since we got a new mixtape

Is this...legal?

If so and if it saves points, then yes, if all weapon mounts are 2K/2Spaces I might even use Space Inefficiency and be a complete tool to fill the last empty space for a few spare CP

Yes, but the pre-statted ones all come with it besides basic feet.

Nah man, I say either drills or maybe a nice solid axe for our kicks.

Actually, nevermind, it isn't legal. Active shields can't be handheld, and neither can Reactive shields, which is why the cheekiest Soul A mech doesn't have an Energy Pool to save costs, because I'd already declared its primary weapons were handheld. Clemmy theoretically could have one, but I don't think it saves her much effort and she has the dicepools to be just fine with a Parry roll.

Foot heat knives, beam knee shin-sabers, claymore frag thigh launchers?

And a beam cannon in the mouth. Just for the 'STARWIND KISS' and all the" I'm gonna give you some sugar" lines we can use.

We can actually do some moves with our legs according to the rule book

Crescent, spin and wheel look useful

>Did you factor in the fact that they have the Clumsy drawback?
This is a good point, but I'm still not sure how exactly the math works, because all the weights and Kills are different from what they normally would be.

My bad.

But while Active Shields can't be handheld, I'd point out that Beam Shields with Attack Factors can. They can even be two-handed - and Weapon Mounts act exactly as hands do. i'm joking please don't kill me

working on it, color of visor? It escapes me atm.

When pushed, pull. In space, Newton's laws are even more apparent, and you act on them. You put the arms they're pulling on around their waists and tug them closer.

As you predicted, they both go for your lap and end up each sitting on one of your legs, shoulder's bumping together as they glare at each other. You maintain your cool, "You know I love you both, but arguing like this won't get us anywhere. Short of kidnapping me..." You realize this last sentence was a mistake as their eyes start gleaming, "...which you shouldn't do because it would make me very cross and I'd banish you to the couch, you're going to have to agree to share." You sigh as they start to pout, "Girls. It's 'us'. This is 'our' adventure. I'll always be with you two, so you're stuck with each other. There is no taking me or losing me or having turns. I belong to the two of you, completely, all the time. BOTH of you. You're my special girls, and I'm your Roarke. Let's spend the day together, you know you can get along if you find something in common. Remember before, when you tried to be friends? Wasn't that nice?" You remonstrate.

They pout even more, then sigh and nod, "We're sorry." "Yes, dear, we didn't mean to cause you any trouble."

Ashta, meanwhile, is getting a call on his PC, "Hello hello~ Elly, baby! Just trying to get some sugar with your coffee, huh? Don't worry, I've got plenty of sweet talk for you and...wait, what? Really? All the way out here by itself? If it's not drifting, Roarke's got a twin or there's a transport somewhere out there. Keep an eye on it, I'm on my way to the bridge." He hangs up, "At least God loves me. Let's go to the bridge, I'm about to get a free Bluegill. You want one, Roarke? I'll sell it to you at an entirely reasonable price."

>[Well Roarke?]

I believe the visor is white and the actual head is black

White.

Let me have first dibs on poking it over when we get it into the bay and I'll decide then.

May as well go to the bridge and see what this one has. Got to know what the merchandise has after all.

>"Not unless I get a look at it first so I know exactly what you might be selling me."

>Lets go and check it out

Im getting a bad feeling on this one

We REALLY should have had the mechanics check the knuckle kaiser. Got a feeling this is going to bite us in the ass.

Speaking of silly OC allow me to introduce the Komodo. pastebin.com/NguTCc0t
When it isnt shooting you with rockets its biting you while pinning your arms so you cant fight back.

The core book says feet take up no space because legs are required to come with feet.

God I can't wait for our mecha tournament to come soon enough

6 MA isn't enough to sustain flight with thrusters - you need at least 8. Is that intentional?

If not, I might suggest you swap out the arms for wings - you don't seem to have any hands or hand-carried weapons, so you wouldn't lose out of anything.

You might also want to invest in some defenses against enemies who you don't succeed in pinning. As it is, you don't have anything to parry ranged attacks with, and your Maw ablates every time you parry a melee attack with it.

What is the Kaiser's current points?

"Only if I get to look it over first. I'm not buying it if it's mysteriously missing its microfusion generator and sensor cores." You move around until the girls stand up, and get up to follow Captain Ashta.

The scavvie looks hurt, "Would I do that...to you?" There's something of a pause between 'that' and 'to', "Buddy, you and me, we've got history. We've got a luxury shipload of goods and appliances that you gave to yours truly to turn into cash...from which I took a modest and agreed-upon cut...between us. I would never do you like that, no sir. You'll get this one fresh off the docks if you like it." A tall, orange-haired woman with a serious face smiles as she passes by the Captain, he winks at her before leading you deeper into his somewhat rusty and untidy ship towards the bridge.

The bridge crew look like they've just gotten out of bed. There aren't any uniforms to speak of, or even the eponymous black leather jackets and sunglasses of the Iron Kestrels, the gunnery officer is still in his pajamas and the girl manning the helm is finishing doing her nails when the Captain arrives. They don't acknowledge him with much besides a wave, either. He plops down into his chair without ceremony, pulls a lever to extend a legrest, and leans back, "Onscreen!"

[Continued]

Yes, but Claws and Talons don't take up any Spaces as well, which probably means that 'Feet' in this case refers to Leg Extremities as a whole. The thing is, I'm not sure how to go about designing my own Leg Extremities.

Unless you're suggesting that anything I attach in place of Feet won't take up any Spaces?

Before adjusting (significantly) for Space Efficiency on the ATFs, 237 spent. You had some remaining before the battle with the Green Skulls, and got some more for OC before I decided to just wing it until the mid-season upgrade and fix my earlier mistakes that way.

>Purustitute
Ew. Shit Taste, Judau.

A little math tells me that the actual unspent cost would be 254 with the hands fixed.

And how is the midseason upgrade being justified? That huge CP jump? Or will that be revealed later?

Also, how many attacks a turn does a normal fighter with a mace/energy lance get? 2, assuming it doesn't move?

Yes, yes, and yes.

Two, assuming it doesn't move.

Well, we have tons of parts, scraps of the first slayer, majority of the second, plenty of things on the side and general loot. We have a good supply of CP honestly.

I tried.

>Is that intentional?
No I forgot about that. But most of the fights are in space anyway and it has a boosterpack to give it a bit of extra push.
>I might suggest you swap out the arms for wings
Think You need arms to pin, plus thats where it keeps most of its rockets.

Survability is a bit of a problem. I decided that the pirates using it would try to rocket up to whatever they were fighting and close the distance as fast as possible while tanking the hits.

An attempt was made. ANd honestly, not THAT bad of an attempt either. Good work, user.

Looks good user maybe switch up the purple accent for white

I know how it's justified.

That doesn't look bad at all!

>suddenly wing-arms everywhere

We G-Reco now?

>You need arms to pin
I think having an Entangling weapon, which states that you can make grappling attacks with it, fulfills that criterion. It seems rather absurd to need Arms to Pin when you already have a grappling hook installed. Unless you were also intending to use the Arms to pin in addition to the Dragon's Tongue?

I was unsure about the mechanics of biting and grappling with a tongue at the same time so I just said fuck it, give it arms. Also only now do I realize I forgot to give it hands.

Wong, where are the twins? We need them too.

Also, I'm extremely sad that Judau's ship isn't The Lemon People.

Wong owes us Clemmy maid cafe scene.

Are there any systems that can be added to improve a mech's accuracy?

It is however statted under the assumption that it has hands thanks to the handy, dandy Automated Mek Sheet I found on 1d4chan.