Shit you hate hearing from players when GM'ing

>Can we just play Pathfinder, I don't want to learn X system.

Literally the only one that phases me anymore. Announce 3 weeks in advance we're playing a different system, provide PDFs of the new system and such, game day comes, and there's always that one faggot who didn't take the time to read ANY of it beyond character creation (if that), and just wants us all to go back to playing the absolute utter shit that is 3.PF.

How about shit I hate hearing from a GM:
>We're playing PF

I'm so fucking happy I've never had to deal with this. It sounds awful and infuriating to experience. When I hear about it I get second-hand angry.

>I attack the PC

Inter party conflict is common in my group and sometimes does lead to actual combat. Our DM actively encourages it and gives our characters excuses to be angry at each other. It makes for some pretty great roleplaying moments when party members routinely piss each other the fuck off. That said, we also go for the opposite extreme regularly.

Our DM just seems to like it when we interact among ourselves.

I've dealt with shit before, but it was a long time ago, when I still played with teenagers (and manchildren).

Now my problem seems to lie in the fact that all they want to play is 3.PF. I actually like those systems too, but they won't even be flexible enough to try 5e or any OSR stuff.

Who the fuck is your GM, Palpatine?

GMs shouldn't encourage players to attack each other. The only time I've ever seen players come close to attacking each other is when their actual tempers are rising.

It can't lead anywhere good.

>"Ugh! Guess I'll just sit here and do nothing because I'm not a magic class!"

I literally have one shitter who does this EVERY TIME WE PLAY, after willingly playing martials again and again, and we're playing 5th edition at low levels so he's actually a hell of alot stronger than the casters... yet if they become more useful than him, even for a second in an extremely specific situation, he starts bitching endlessly about how broken magic is and how he can't do ANYTHING.

Pic-related is pretty much what he thinks casters are, even though he survives 4x longer than them in combat and puts out like twice as much damage. And yet for as "OP" as he thinks they are, he's only played one once and spent the entire time THAT TIME bitching about how he was too weak...

My group used to be like this, but with
>Can we just play GURPS, I don't want to learn X system.

But eventually we started branching out with systems more, thankfully.

I love seeing intraparty conflict for dramatic reasons, but whether it's good to let it get to actual combat has a lot to do with the social contract and the system, IMO.

Apocalypse World, Burning Wheel, Fate, GURPS? Sure, go right ahead.

D&D? Please no.

Why didn't you let him? Its the roll that decides, and if he had tried multiple times he should be arrested. You shouldn't just tell him no.

Elaborate.

>I walk the opposite direction the party is going (when traveling outside a town or dungeon)/walk into the woods after being told not to/into the dungeon after I've been told the natives will attack our entire caravan because of it
>I Leroy Jenkins the large hobgoblin fort (filled with obvious archers)
>I want to be (insert literal retard of a character idea here; example a sorcerer who's best stat was Con (19) whilst Cha(6) who wields a +1greatsword (I was allowing them to start with the equivalent of a +1item for roleplay purposes) and I'm going to spend all 500gp you've allowed us to have on packets of choking dust
>I use a spell to set fire to the sick guy who we're supposed to go retrieve medicinal plants for
There's a point where you can be funny, and a point where you're being a fucking retard and a massive liability and pissing the party off and this fucker passed it as soon as he could! Same guy ended up telling me
>I once died 8 times in the same encounter with a dragon
>Entire table stops what they're doing and look at him
>How???.jpeg on ALL our faces
>I didn't know you could be one shoted by a dragon
Motherfucker it's a DRAGON! A mythological beast that can burn entire cities down, how the fuck do you not know this!!!

Depends on the game system. My time with The Riddle of Steel had a lot of PvP since character advancement revolves around pursuing your character's goals and our GM would always make our goals conflict with each other, but it was just something that that system handles so well that it felt like we were doing it right when we were swinging swords at each other.

In 3.pf though I wouldn't recommend PvP in any capacity, except MAYBE by letting someone who's character is AWOL for story reasons control the bad guys so they have something to do.

>Why didn't you let him? Its the roll that decides, and if he had tried multiple times he should be arrested.

I never once told him "no". He rolled each time, and each time he failed. It wasn't an easy roll, because he was A) an evil character (as were all the party members; point of the campaign), B) all but described himself as acting shady and untrustworthy, and C) was pulling it on people I made really clear were insular and paranoid.

He actually did get caught and arrested the third time, and that's when he got mad.

As long as its non-letal its fine. Not him but my GM let us practice among each other, as the party constantly clashes in opinions and directions. So we solve the issue hitting each other or with roshambo.

we are all fighters

He thinks casters are a bunch of space marine anime girls? the fuck

In terms of power-level, yes.

Come the fuck on. I hate caster supremacy too but that guy is just being a whiny bitch baby. Sure, 5e D&D still has some caster supremacy, but not nearly as much as 3.pf did.

I gotta agree With on this one. I think your player just needs something to bitch about constantly

Paranoia
Your argument is invalid.

> I don't remember what happened last week.

This, really. I never once felt gimped in any Pathfinder game when I play a martial.

Of course, the only player I've ever met who could properly cheese a caster had sworn off wizards so he could branch out.

This is me every week.

Why you mad though? I legit forget d&d exists outside of playday.

Holy fuck this. I don't mind if you can't remember all the fine details, but at least remember the main points.

This is why when I run, I do short recaps of the last couple sessions. It doesn't take much effort on my part, and it lets me use my narrator voice and start with "LAST TIME, ON DRAGON BALL Z"

I always give a recap, "Last week in our campaign..." It's a funny bit.

Damn man! I thought I was the only one who still did that!

>Play 4e for years
>One day, we decide to try out Pathfinder on a whim.
>4 sessions later, my group unanimously votes to stop playing Pathfinder
>We playtest my DM's homebrew system for a few weeks afterwards.

I got lucky with my group.

Ha, nice. Stealing my idea!

I offer a small reward to whichever player does the recap. It seems to work better, and usually ends with several of them filling in the gaps.

>This game is boring. Can we just play D&D instead?

Cherish them.

Unfortunately, we're a bit scattered right now. One guy and his girlfriend moved up further north for college, and our DM moved to Alaska. Also for college.

He was here for a bit in February and we ran some games then that were great.

We still skype every so often, but not nearly as much anymore. They were a blast.

I think its fine, personally. They usually only end up having to roll death saves. No one has died yet.
Helps the party is entirely evil and neutral alignments, that and its entirely in yheir character to take out a strong threat when they're at a disadvantage.

Oh shit! I'm stealing this man!

Things are beautiful because they are temporary, I suppose.

>"So this is my character and this is her character sheet."
>Every player in the game proceeds to come to the game with female characters.
>All guys IRL.

Is it possible to have your PLAYERS suck you into the Magical Realm even though you're the GM? Because the first time I tried to play DnD man, I found out like half my friends were massive weeaboos with enslavement and ryona fetishes >__>

Granted that was like freshmen year of high school, I've moved away now and made better friends, but damn whenever a guy tells me he wants to play a female character I instantly get wary. Even though I've seen several players do it well now. I'm just mentally scarred.

>Character background ? For what ?
>What do you mean with "You died." ?
Shit I hate hearing from GMs when I'm playing:
>I want a detailed character background.
>But don't get attached to your character. This is a very deadly setting.
Pick one. I don't want to be writing up a detailed character backstory before every session.

Also:

>Since when rolling a natural 1 is a fumble ?
Since when is it, actually? Can you show me that rule?
>HOW MUCH damage ?
In what context?

It honestly came around because I'm terribly lazy for prep and would forget a lot of details I made up last session. You also get a lot of player speculation to steal ideas from.

Use your players' creative output, be lazy.

Oh shit I'm stealing this. I usually write up a text spiel on our whiteboard, but this would really get the juices flowing.

Is that you, Jacob?

This is interesting. I play with all males, and they will never play as a female. Still never had a female character play.

Nope, not Jacob

No system is inherently boring unless it's insanely rules-heavy to the point that you can't actually get into whatever roleplaying you're doing. So basically this is the player misplacing the source of their boredom when in all likelihood it's actually the GM (i.e., you).

>Is this NPC that important guy from a few sessions ago? What was that thing he told us not to forgrt? I didn't write it down.
>I roll to interrogate him. Did I find out the information?
>I roll to impress the NPC. What do you mean, "What do I say to her?", I roll to be charming.

God that last one pisses me off! It's a role-playing game, not a roll playing game! You fucking tell ME what you're saying to her, cause I'm not the one doing it!

>My character has multiple personalities
>I rolled up a character sheet for each personality

>I lost a save against fear. So I have to run now? I'm supposed to be this fearless badass, what is this bullshit?
Read the rules, bitch. You don't have fear immunity so you're not allowed to throw a shitfit because your fighter lost a will save.
>they're an npc in our way, they gotta die.
You know better than to try that shit in my games, you fucking murderhobo. Ain't no train tracks over this pond but that doesn't mean you're the biggest fish in it.
>so we're playing Shadowrun? Nah, I didn't read the rule book in the last few weeks. I want to play a samurai. An ONI Samurai. Named Jubei Yagyu. With an old school sailing boat. And a drug lab on it.
Same character in play:
>so my boat is parked on a Yakuza owned pier and they left a note on my door saying I should know better than to not pay my respects? And they want fees paid for keeping my boat there? Fuck that, I'm ignoring it entirely. What are they gonna do? I'm a badass.
They did not play in the group much longer.
>I'll jump down that hole. How deep is it? Over 200ft? I can soak that falling damage easy.
>what do you mean my legs are broken?

>(PF, Lv15) my Inquisitor could totally take your Druid. He's not immune to swords.
Lets not. Otherwise, Best of luck with that.

>hey, you should totally play a Warforged Monk.
>you're playing a straight rogue? Dude, those are so mechanically inferior.
>this is dumb, we should go back to 3.5
>this is dumb, why don't I DM?
>this is dumb, I shouldn't be taking damage.
>the goblins are trying to extort us on the road. Whatever, we're leaving. There's no way they're an actual threat.
And others. I've witnessed some pure atrocities of people in the DM seat as well but that's not the topic of discussion.

To be fair, our group home-brewed fear just to be a 50% action failure chance if someone choose NOT to run, because forcing someone to run IS kind of retarded from a player-agency point of view and doesn't really create any interesting risk-reward choices (or choice AT ALL) for the players.

>those spaces between the end of the sentence and the question mark
This psychologically harms me for some reason.

>What do you mean my legs are broken?

>>(PF, Lv15) my Inquisitor could totally take your Druid. He's not immune to swords.

This kind of pissing contest PVP garbage makes me unreasonably angry. Nobody but you gives a shit who your character could defeat. Shut the fuck up. You're supposed to be on the same team, asshole.

Absolutely the fucking worst, I don't get how people like this get into roleplaying.

I think they get into it because they think it's an easy way to feel powerful. I don't know how they stay in it when they get booted out repeatedly and bounce from group to group.

>what do you mean my legs are broken?

>that blood
Welp that's a compound fracture if I've ever seen one

Jesus that was gnarly

jesus christ how horrifying

I sure that at some point the dog out try to lick his wound.

Honestly, for that kind of injury he could be a lot worse for wear.

If he'd fractured his femur like that he very well could have died.

>the dog throws him a towel
every time

I reminded of that one thread from a few days back where one party pissed off their GM into QUITTING THE HOBBY FOREVER because they went after their horses instead of going into the dungeon to kick off the campaign.

The player does sound like a tool, but if he did soak the damage from the fall his leg shouldn't have broken.

Fucking with the Yaks on the other hand, the note was a very generous warning.

If horror has a face, this is it.

well sure, but seeing the foot and lower shin come up off the rest of the leg at that angle set my stomach churning. i'm not even grossed out by blood at all, it was just how you could see it flopping around.

> absolute utter shit that is 3.PF

Whatever you have to tell yourself to rationalize that no one wants to play your gay-ass indie system with you.

You mean 5e? Pretty sure he stated in subsequent posts that he was playing 5e.

Guess Pathfinder drones thing that's "Indie" though.

Oh yeah, fractures like that are fucking grotesque.

Sounds like a weak gm.

I wasn't DMing the dude jumping in the pit(Inquisitor), I was the Druid. That player had already been testing the patience of everyone at the table, spotlighting often, and gaming the rules over role playing. The DM broke his legs because he showed zero regard for natural instinct of self-preservation against a very real threat that would kill many, many things. It might not have been RAW, but take my word that he had it coming.

The Yaks and Jubei Yagyu, I was DMing. They offered the note I completely noted as generous at the time, and made it clear they recognized him as Japanese, as a strong samurai warrior (and phys-adept), as an Oni who were generally highly respected and feared amongst the Japanese, and they had seen his drug lab and the large amounts of raw materials he had gathered for producing opium. Not an Awakened opium variant or anything, just run of the mill stuff. But he had maxed out his Chemistry skill.

So the Yaks seeing what he was thought it best to offer a gentle but firm friendly 'request'. The player clearly did not take the hint. He was young and didn't read the rulebook but I still feel like I made a very clear presentation of his circumstances.

Stupid phone..

It's frustrating to flesh out a character, really get inside their head space, come up with all the things you want them to do, and then be told key aspects aren't allowed.

I had character l got invested in and excited about, brought to the dm and had a conversation that looked like:

"I play a big guy that does knockdown stuff, charge stuff, overrun stuff, and sort of grapple stuff."
>I don't run this third party book, so no to any feats from there
"Oh, I guess the grappling is it without that support, I can make it work"
>Overrun is time consuming and overspecialized, I also only do a homebrew version of that
"Well shit if everyone can do it, not much point in specializing in it"
> Lastly, the class you want to take had this one op feature so I'll be super gracious and let you play it, but you can't use (key class feature here)
"I mean, I guess I'll just be something else then."

>I've considered making a PC that is essentially a pair of PCs.
>What I have in mind is a character that is basically a mount for the character on top.
>The 'mount' would be the embodiment of the Physical Characteristics (Str, Dex, Con) and the 'rider' would embody the Mental Characteristics (Int, Wis, Cha).
>I'd still roll the stats as one, but use 1/4 of the roll for one and add 1/4 to the other.
>For example: Strength roll is a 12. 12/4=3. Therefore, mount Strength is 15, rider strength is 3.
>The details on AC and wound distribution would need to be hashed out, but I thought that it would be an interesting idea to bring up, especially considering that the pair's strength is also their weakness if they became separated.

...

I once had a kid play a ranger obsessed with earning XP, to the point that while i was giving background fluff, he'd pick out things to attack. I once described a forest with squirrels in the trees and he asked me how much Xp per squirrel. I tell him "None, critters are only worth XP if they can actually pose a threat to you." "But my ranger has a fear of squirrels, they are threatening to him, so how much XP?" "NONE! IT'S A FUCKING SQUIRREL." Later the party ends up in town and I describe a 9 year old girl being chased by obvious bad guys and he says "How much is the kid worth, I'm pretty sure I can take her."

and this is why i don't do XP in games i run anymore, keeps the players from sperging out

And that's when I'd say "-250xp for the party and -600 XP for you on top of that" see if that fixes his shit a little. And then just remove the XP system and wonder why I ever went back to it

As if that would stop the murderhobos.

you're right *sob*

i amend my earlier statement. removing XP gives them one less thing to sperg out on.

>ITT People who don't use the GM Brick.

>47814489 It was easier to solve than I thought (and I did so by accident). I figured I'd introduce Karma to the game and make his actions come back to bite him in the ass. In thsi case Karma took the form of a pair of awakened british sheep who were chaotic neutral and could cast Shapeshift at will. He hated them so much he ended up fixating on them instead of XP. Said the game was best he ever played. And I'm like wtf cause those sheep brutalized him. They framed him for rape and murder, They turned into birds to disguise themselves so they cold randomly poop on him. They put ticks the size of a human head on him while he was sleeping. They robbed a local dragon while disguised as him. It was not pretty.

what if its two people in a horse costume?

No no no, you're not thinking outside the box user. What if it were to horses in a man costume

>GM Brick
Wha?

>>Since when rolling a natural 1 is a fumble ?
>Since when is it, actually? Can you show me that rule?

Are you dumb? Rolling a 1 is always a failure just as rolling a 20 is always a success.

On attack rolls.
Skill checks don't have critical successes/fumbles. GMs that do that shit are awful.

how do you figure? it's good simulation for a terrible mishap during a skill check. roll a 1 on diplomacy to try and talk the princess into dancing at the imperial ball, vomit all over her gown in front of the lords and ladies of the court.

The GM Brick is a mysterious object. It is a red brick with the word "STOP" written on it. If a player or their character are acting like a dick, it drops out of the sky and lands on their head.

The first time it does minimal damage.

The second time it does more.

The third time it does even more.

It is not used to railroad, it is not used to punish cleverness. It is used to punish people who are making the game unfun for others or purposefully being dicks.

it sounds like a rectangular solid weighing at least 3 kg that the GM uses for punishing the less regulated members of his table

The thing is the idea that everyone up to highly trained professionals and beyond fucks up royally 5% of the time is a little.

If you roll a 1 then you're probably failing anyways. If you don't fail after rolling a one its because you're that good.
Likewise, rolling a twenty shouldn't be a success if you don't meet the DC of the check. It definitely makes you more likely to succeed though.

A little absurd, is what I mean to say.