Edgy Harry Potter Fanfic Quest

youtube.com/watch?v=gZmc0q8dHuY

You are Harry Potter, and you have a wild ride over the last three years. Three years ago, you were attacked and tortured by Death Eaters to the point that your magical core was permanently damaged and your right arm and leg maimed. A year ago, you woke up from a coma with a prosthetic arm and leg of brass and steel and animated by your magic where you were trained by Professor Snape – or Itachi Uchiha, his secret identity – in the ninja arts.

You are running for your life in what is supposed to be your final exam to begin undertaking ninja missions to ready yourself to bring the fight to Voldemort. The great oaks of the magically expanded forest in the basement of Snape’s vintage Charleston house flash before you as you jump, tumble, roll, and run vertically up the trunks of trees. Your task for this test was to take a bell from the pagoda in the center of the forest to the entrance to the basement. Of course, your teacher was guarding it and his proficiency in both the wizard and ninja arts made him a formidable opponent.

Itachi suddenly appears before you in a small copse of the woods and launches a volley of shuriken and the red bolt of a stunner spell at you. You tuck and roll through the air, around the barrage and swing from a branch to dodge the next volley. Though you doubt you could defeat him in an extended engagement, you might be able to distract him in brief exchange to make your escape. Ikken hisatsu.

You have a variety of options at your disposal. From the smoke bombs and shuriken in your belt pouches to the Chinese jian on your shoulder to the rocket concealed in your robot arm to your Snake Fist kung fu. And a few magical adaptions of the jutsu your teacher once practiced in another life, namely the Substitution.

[1] Pop the smoke bombs and disappear into the shadows
[2] *teleports behind you* *unsheathes jian*
[3] Fire your wrist rocket to create a diversion
[4] Other

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=Soa3gO7tL-c
youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0
youtube.com/watch?v=iTmF3uiB1pM
fanfiction.net/s/2132852/1/Living-on-the-Edge
twitter.com/ArmorRenegadeOP
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

[kill self]

That's pretty edgy. I like the imagination

Kill self but fail, you lack the edge to overcome your inner edginess.

>Fire the wrist rocket.

Calling votes and writing in 5 minutes. Speak now or forever hold your edge

>[2] *teleports behind you* *unsheathes jian*
Also, have a bitter internal monologue about this is all Dumbledore's fault for manipulating you your entire life, and as soon as you're done here you're going to go to Gringotts and take up your mantle as heir to the Potter and Black fortunes and Wizengamot seats, because that's definitely something a bank run by goblins has authority over. Then you'll be truly independent and free from him and his pathetic "Greater Good".

That's the spirit

I have read far too much bad Harry Potter fanfiction. This quest will either cleanse me of its taint or destroy me. Either way, I welcome it.

Writing for wrist rocket, will incorporate the edgy elements of the other votes into the final post

No. user, are you alright? The link you posted goes to a dead page. You feeling okay?

OP I'm about to go to bed but I just thought I'd let you know that you're doing God's work.

Other: Use the Forbidark Magical Technique, the Avakasengan, powered by your mothers soul to kill your teacher, since he has served his purpose and he might be a liability, and more importantly he might disagree with you and be right.

youtube.com/watch?v=Soa3gO7tL-c

You consider striking suddenly from behind. Nothing personal, sensei. However, you expect that with his superior skills, he will be able to get behind you. This blade of yours could just as easily be plunged into your heart. The iron arm holds an iron sword, not a wand. And this is only a result of that night. You recall the silver spikes hammered into your hands which drained and crippled your magical core, leaving you little more than a squib. You recall the noise as your mind-controlled uncle took a chainsaw to your arm. You should have died there. It changed you. It darkened your world and your mind.

But now is not the time for such thoughts. Only one person is allowed to kill you: Voldemort; anyone else is trash. Besides, as Itachi has revealed, you have a vast fortune and power of the Black and Potter families awaiting you back on the Isles.

A panel in the steel of your right arm opens up and a rocket pops up on its rail. You clench your hand into a fist and the rocket tears away. Your teacher conjures a rock into the way of the rocker while simultaneously apparating away. You are scorched by the multicolored fire, which burns away the cloth around your left leg. You are buffeted away and hit the ground; it is only many hours on the judo mat that allows you to roll away without further injury. Suddenly, you feel a knife at your throat.

“I thought I taught you better, Harry,” says Itachi.

[1] Substitute yourself with a nearby stick
[2] Catch the knife in your teeth
[3] Other

>[2] Catch the knife in your teeth
And then we have to spit it back at him, somehow. Biomechanics is less important than being "badass".

Substitute yourself with him, so you are the one who stabs.

Substituting requires a large, inanimate object

>[2] Catch the knife in your teeth

Gotta be hardcore

Going to call in 5 minutes

Writing for catching the knife your teeth

You slam back your elbow into your sensei’s stomach, your unfeeling metal prosthetic of course. You connect and that moment of hesitation allows you slip down and bite down onto the blade.

Itachi disappears and all your hear hear his voice, “I taught you well, but do you really think that you will get past me.”

You grin and draw your sword. It is the monster within you that answers.

“I’ll cut down anything in my path,” you say as you charge through the undergrowth.

You see a flash of movement and hurl your shuriken which arc onto your target with a well trained hand. Rather than the shout of pain you wanted, you see a fascimile of your teacher explode into smoke. A magical shadow clone.

As you approach the clearing and ladder up of the exit to the house, you see it lie empty and peaceful. Too peaceful. However, you hear a noise behind you – the crack of a twig – that indicates that trouble is coming fast. But you must also look underneath the underneath.

[1] Try to look for traps
[2] You have to make a break for it; the objective isn’t to fight Itachi
[3] Other

I'd like to call it in 15 minutes.

Can you pass this training from hell? Or will you bite the dust?

>Other
Summon the (actual) inner demon inside us, Nataszebulbametagorziekiel, put inside to torture us, but we were too strong for it

Writing

Believe it or not, I actually had a concept for a "demon inside" from the beginning. Going all in with fanfic cliches was half the fun of this idea

>[2] You have to make a break for it; the objective isn’t to fight Itachi
all while making a mental speech about how your running away from your problems yet again.

Thanks for the vote, but you barely missed me calling the vote. Maybe next time.

youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0

You feel a slight vibration in the air and quickly parry the kunai coming in behind you. Sparks fly as you whirl around and whip the jian. You taste the metallic zest of blood in the air. Your movements are smooth and sinuous. The Snake Fist style of Kung Fu especially lends itself to the straight blade of the Chinese jian. As you lunge forward, Itachi disappears in a cloud of smoke. A hand slams into your iron wrist hard enough for you to drop the blade.

A chambered fist explodes like a bullet from a revolver and slams into your gut. A following blow smashes your guard and hits your liver. It’s all you can do to retreat and fend off your sensei’s blows while blind. You have a moment to catch your breath and instead cough up blood.

“Your eyes, Harry. They’re red,” says Itachi as the smoke clears.

“I guess that’s the monster inside,” you reply and wait for the attack to come.

The blows come hard and fast with the force of a true karate master. His kicks snap out and crash down with the inexorable force of tidal wave or forest fire. But somehow, you fend them off. With every attack you step back, taking blows with your guard and diverting them with sinuous movements of the Snake fist. A faint green glow emanates from your hand, a trickle of your now pitiful magical power refined into an ethereal blade that attacks the inside without a mark on the skin. As you finally, after curling around punches and dancing over kicks, you bring a snake fist towards your teacher’s throat. Only to meet an uppercut that sends you into the air.

Itachi launches himself upward, and you feel something inside you change. Your jaws elongate and rather than a man coming to meet him, it is a long dragon. It is all your teacher’s strength to stop your jaws from gnashing him apart.

[1] This isn’t right. You have to stop
[2] You are the apex predator
[3] Other

>[1] This isn’t right. You have to stop
all while feeling your hated for Voldemort grow ever larger for the beast he put inside you.
and yes make it as homoerotic as that sounds

I think that between threads, I'll tidy things up and post it on FF.net

I just need a good title. I was thinking "Edge"

I'd like to call votes in ten minutes, so speak now or forever hold your edge

>You have to stop, dragons are for fags. There is only one true answer to defeat Voldemort: Avtomat Kalashnikova

Writing to stop

The Sharpest Edge
#Deep
The Darkest Mind
Living on the Edge.
Fate's Edge

But just as you are about to snap your jaws down on your sensei, Itachi Uchiha, you stop. Voldemort must have done this, and you can feel your hatred for him growing. Growing larger than the beast he put inside you. Instead of a grown dragon, your sensei instead finds himself consoling a crying boy.

The tears don’t fall. They crash around you.

Itachi wraps his arm around in a way he never did as Professor Snape. He takes the bell that was part of his test from your pocket and puts it in his hand. You feel the warmth.

“You pass, Harry. And now, I’m not going to let you end up like my brother.”

“Thanks.”

You find yourself drinking tea in the breakfast nook looking at the Japanese garden in the backyard. Itachi brings two plates of fried eggs, one for you and one for him.

“Whenever I’m feeling sad, Harry, I make eggs. Now that I’ve put you out on the mercenary market, there are a few people that are interested in you for their protection. Being the protege of Hans Gruber tends to do that.”

“Really? Whom and where?”

“All of them are English pureblood families worried about assassins, especially a skull knight with a flaming sword who surfaced after your disappeared. They’re on vacation. Besides, I thought you might want to visit some classmates.”

“But won’t they recognize me?”

“Not if you wear a mask.”

“You have the Greengrasses in Rome, the Malfoys in Kyoto, and the Boneses in Edmonton. You have your pick of these options. I would recommend one of the Death Eater affiliated families, since you might gain valuable intelligence.”

[1] Rome with the Greengrasses
[2] Malfoys in Kyoto
[3] Boneses in Edmonton

youtube.com/watch?v=iTmF3uiB1pM

Relevant

[2] Malfoys in Kyoto

You just want Draco in leather pants

AHAHAHAHA

fanfiction.net/s/2132852/1/Living-on-the-Edge

to be honest, I don't remember that much of harry potter so I'm mostly going by what's familiar. plus maybe we can learn some cool dark forbidden magic from Draco, who may or not be wearing leather.

>[1] Rome with the Greengrasses

>not wanting blonde slytherin waifus

I don't mind either way. I'm having fun with all sorts of fanfiction cliches

Since we have a tie, I'd like to call it in 10 minutes or so

ah but we can do the same thing in Kyoto with a women with much... experience who must be so lonely with her husband doing all manner of things with his death eater pals.
that's right, we go milf NTR route.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

I'm going to roll the dice. Let RNGsus decide the tiebreaker

1 for Greengrasses
2 for Malfoys

>she tricks us into a soul bond using her feminine wiles (and runes) to get after our combined fortunes

“The Greengrasses. I’ve always wanted to see Rome.”

Itachi takes a sip from his steaming mug of tea (green tea, naturally).

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on the elder Greengrass daughter?” asks Itachi.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think I could restrain myself from killing the Malfoys. I’d be living on the edge for the duration of that.”

Itachi nods and looks out towards the Japanese maples.

“They believe that they’re being targeted by someone with red eyes which includes a great variety of creatures, not precluding magical disguises.”

You do that thing which always irritates Itachi by eating all the whites of the egg and than popping the whole yoke into your mouth with your fingers. He glares coldly at you like the Professor Snape you knew.

“We’ll meet them at their vacation house in France, but I’ll look a little different. It’ll be the old Hans Gruber.”

That'll be it for tonight.

Follow me on Twitter for advance warning
twitter.com/ArmorRenegadeOP

I'll stick around for chat and Q&A.

Sage.

I'd like to run again next Friday