Irinora Quest (Oneshot)

>>Irinora: Be inside a bush, keeping an eye on your little sister as she partakes in a human activity known as a 'date'.

There are several details here that utterly baffle you. Normally, you would allow one of your peerage to explain the reasoning behind your puzzlement, but since you are already here, you decide to be courteous and explain it yourself. First of all, while it is true you have a little sister, it would be extremely difficult for her to understand the concept of romance, given that she is nothing more than a newborn babe. She has yet to speak her first word, much less shyly ask her fellow demon on a ‘date’ while holding the customary royal bouquet of flowers.

Secondly, the nearest human settlement is all the way across the breadth of the Vast Nothingness, across a dangerous and unpredictable stretch of land where time and space unravel and constantly switch places with each other, leading to situations where a million years can pass in an instant, yet only a few centimeters have been travelled.

Thirdly, be inside a bush? What sort of nonsense tomfoolery is this? Are you a noblewoman, or are you a plebian? The very notion of you dirtying your fine hair in a patch of mud and foliage is unspeakable. It is something you would delegate to your servants. You resolve to never bring this up again, lest you feel the urge to excuse yourself to the bathroom.

...

>>Fine. Irinora: Be in your chambers, reading the best book in the multiverse.

That is much better.

You, Irinora Agares Lucifuge, are resting in your chambers, reading the best book in the multiverse. You sit in your velvet-lined chair, eyes focused on the myriad of lines and strokes inscribed on the page. The spine is worn from decades of gentle caressing. The cover is battered and crushed from the times you have cradled it in your sleep as a child. Not even all the repair magic in the world can restore the book back to its original form. The royal doctors have warned you about reading it. They say your attachment to it is treacherous, like an addiction to those strange white crystals you’ve heard younglings ingest.

You don’t care.

This book is a precious treasure, a story of epic romance and adventure unsurpassed by the others, and you will condemn anyone who dares to speak otherwise.

You are roused from your entertainment by a series of fine whispers outside the door. At first, you are irritated. How dare these fools rouse you from your euphoria. Can’t they see you are busy over here?

Then you placate yourself, as it’s just members of your peerage. You must keep an image of stability and rationality in front of them at all times. Especially considering that some of them are not what the ordinary demon would describe as 'sane'.

You do wonder why they are so hesitant to enter, though.

“So…uh, yeah. We’re both here.” A first voice says, masculine, young and handsome. An awkward cough is made. A brief shuffle of footsteps follows, likely from the person next to the voice, cringing in disgust.

“Do cover your mouth.” The second voice, feminine, elegant and of the type that reacts to everything unknown with a hint of mild distaste, mutters. “And yes, how excellent of you to notice. Our mistress is right over there. Now go over and report to her.”

In your minds eye, you imagine a hand being raised to the door, before trembling and someone taking it back.

“Um….uh…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, it’s just that…”

The woman speaks. You imagine her putting her hands on her hips. “Are you hesitating, by any chance?”

“Look, I’m just not so sure about my chances here.”

“Okay, that’s a yes. You seem to be under the impression that you are in great danger here.”

“Yes, because I’m wondering if I’ll be able to get out of this with all my limbs still attached to my body.”

“Oh come on, it’s a simple report. Waltz in, tell the mistress what happened, step out and wait for her orders. What’s so difficult about that?”

“You aren’t being funny, you know.”

“I like to think I’m quite hilarious.”

>Call them over.
>Ask them if they would be interested in deepening their partnership.
>Listen. This may prove to be interesting.
>Approach them.
>Intervene with the argument.
>Custom option.

I know nothing about this quest's background. Anyone have a link to what it is based on?

>another silver haired girl
Good taste Thorn

>Ask them if they would be interested in deepening their partnership.

It's based on TT['s harem Bro Quest. We're currently the older sister of the team botanist/berserker bard.

>>Approach them.
>>Ask them if they would be interested in deepening their partnership.

>>Call them over.
>>Ask them if they would be interested in deepening their partnership.

>>Call them over.
>>Ask them if they would be interested in deepening their partnership.

This quest isn't based on anything. What people think it's based on is kinda crap IMO.

>Call them over.
>Custom option.
"I CAN hear you, you know."

“I’m serious, damn it.” The man continues to growl. “You and I know both that something terrible has happened to our mistress’s territory. It could even be the greatest insult she’s received yet. I for one do not want to be caught in the crossfire between her and her future target.”

“Oh, stop being so melodramatic. You’re a man, aren’t you? Is bravery not one of your gender’s main tenants? What shall you do then, drag out the truth and let the anger build up in our dear mistress’s heart until it explodes like a festering volcano?” Through the lens of your clairvoyance magic, the woman shakes her head. “Good grief, can we rely on you men for anything?”

“Look," The man says, tension entering his muffled voice. "I don’t want to hear that from a woman who has tried and failed to find a partner a dozen times in a row.”

A pair of eyes are narrowed. “Crossing lines, are we? Very well then, how about I mock that disgusting swill you insist on chugging down every morning?”

It’s as if a bomb had gone off. “COFFEE IS NOT DISGUSTING YOU LOUSY, INCONSIDERATE COBALT-HAIRED MAID—”

You stride over to the door and fling it open. The image of the royal hallway, a corridor with a crimson carpet lining the floor and paintings of your ancestors lining the walls, greets you. And in it is the sight of two of your precious servants, one of which is attempting (and failing) to strangle the other.

The woman, the scruff of her maid uniform’s neck currently being engaged in a delightful meeting with the bony palm of the man, looks at you in the eye before pointing at the man with her free hand. “Mistress, I’d like to say that this argument is entirely his fault.”

“You’re the one who started it!” The man yells. The woman takes the opportunity to pry his fingers loose, landing on the ground and bowing once. The man stumbles backwards, grumbles before repeating the gesture. It’s impossible to prevent a small smile from curving your lips. This is just as entertaining as your literature.

Well, at least we can find entertainment in the antics of our minions. That makes their failure somewhat less troubling.

“Hiro. Elisa. Good day to your both.” You say in your refined, elegant voice, built up from a decade of public speaking lessons beneath your mentor’s iron fist. “Is there something that requires my attention?”

“Yes.” Elisa the maid replies, her cobalt hair swaying as she bows again. “Mistress, I would like to request that Hiro be sent to the doctors to undergo anger management training.”

“I do not have anger issues!” Hiro shouts, his cheeks puffing like the boiler of a steam train. “All of my ornery is a direct cause from whatever comes out of your blasted mouth!”

“You are not convincing me. Nor are you convincing the mistress or any of your other fellows in the group.”

“If only you would keep your mouth shut for five seconds—”

“They maybe you should learn to think ahead and not make mistakes on crucial missions—”

You clear your throat, shattering the argument in an instant like a ball hitting a window. Giving the two a calm smile, you offer a pleasant suggestion. “It seems that the two of you have issues that you both need to work out. Shall I send the two of you on a team exercise? It could be an opportunity to deepen your partnership.”

The revulsion is palpable. Various forms of disgust are put on display. Elisa scoffs and turns up her nose. “With all due respect Mistress, I must decline.”

“I’d rather swallow a ton of broken glass.” Hiro snarls.

“Only a ton? I think your gluttony could support thrice as much.”

“At least I’m not addicted to the floor of the royal wine cellar!”

You feel a hint of disappointment. You feel little impromptu plan had failed. Well, winning the betting pool set up by your peerage wasn’t going to be an easy task. It had been going on for ten years with no end in sight. The general consensus among your fellows was that Elisa and Hiro would tear out each other’s throats in a double kill or become heavily inebriated and wind up in Hiro’s room.

“Dammit, we’re getting off topic!” Hiro shouts. Shaking his head to compose himself, he turns to you with visible panic in his eyes. “Mistress, something dreadful has happened!”

“So I heard.” You reply. “From all the way inside the room.”

“You did?” Hiro cheeks flush red and his face twists in embarrassment. “Anyway…”

“Go on, tell her.” Elisa interjects, nudging him in the side. “Recover from your failure. Be a ‘man’.”

“Shut up, woman!” He growls. He then takes a deep breath, savoring it as if it’ll be his last. “Mistress, your crown has been stolen!”

>Engage serious mode and press for details.
>Yawn. “…is that all?”
>Hit something.
>Custom option.

>>Engage serious mode and press for details.

>Engage serious mode and press for details.
While we could care less about the crown itself, the insult can not stand. Find whoever took our crown, reclaim it from them, and make an example.

Engage serious mode and press for details.

>Engage serious mode and press for details.

>Engage serious mode and press for details.

>Engage serious mode and press for details.

After that, thank Hiro for bringing the matter directly to you, and that you appreciate that he didn't go over your head to your father.

This is no time to be lounging around. In an instant, you are up in Hiro’s face, mouth tight and eyes sharp. “Fill me in the details.” You order, as you spin on your heel and begin marching towards the royal vault. Hiro and Elisa are quick to follow.

You have little love in the crown itself. It is merely a piece of very expensive metal, worn twice a year in formal ceremonies. You couldn’t care less if it was lost or melted into slurry. No, what you are more concerned about is the theft itself. It is a crime against the royal family and an insult against your pride as the Third Princess. You will reclaim your crown, find the perpetrator and make a example. Let the kingdom know that the royal family is not to be trifled with.

“The crown’s disappearance was discovered twenty minutes ago.” Elisa reports, pulling out a sheet of parchment. “Apparently, the thief used illusion magic to conceal its absence. The vault guardians only discovered it through inspecting the case directly.”

“The case is broken, too.” Hiro adds, all trace of anger vanishing from his voice. “Guess we can rule out direct teleportation as a method. Whoever stole it isn’t very sophisticated.”

“Just like you.” Elisa mumbles under her breath, before resuming her report. “Signs point to the thief smashing the case, taking the crown and running away. It’s believe he or she may have disguised himself as one of the royal servants to make the escape.”

“Or one of the royal family.” Hiro mutters.

Elisa shoots him a filthy look. “Don’t be ridiculous.” She hisses. “No sane demon would ever dare to disguise as one of the royal family. They’d be beset upon by the person’s peerage within seconds.”

“And no sane commoner, not even palace guards, would try to seal mistress’s crown. They’d never be able to sell it. Nobody would dare to buy it.” Hiro rebuts, massaging his forehead. A headache is pulsing through his forehead. “So where does that leave us? Feud between the members of the royal family? Theft from a rival peerage?”

You shake your head. “I do not believe so.” Your mother, the empress of Makai who has ruled for almost a millennium, explicitly stated around the previous century that all past grudges between her children were to be buried, yourself included. Since then, you have tried to make amends and remain amicable around your brothers and sisters. Many fine days have been spent on private meals and sightseeing tours together around the kingdom. It has worked…for the most part.

“Mother loves her trinkets. If you recall, she commissioned my crown herself.” You explain. “Stealing it would risk her wrath, and nobody would be foolish enough to contemplate that.”

“You never know, mistress.” Hiro sighs. “No offence, but some of your brothers and sisters aren’t exactly the most rational of demons.”

“None taken, Hiro.” You say, “By the way, I appreciate that you and Elisa brought the matter to me directly, instead of going straight to Mother.”

He nods. “I’m only doing my job, mistress.”

“There’s also the issue of how the thief broken in.” Elisa ponders. “No-one is allowed to open the vault except for its caretakers and members of the royal family. We’ve questioned all the caretakers and all of them claim to have an alibi.” Her face darkens. It is clear she is just as furious as you are. “Further ‘questioning’ may be needed…”

So it sounds like the thief is some bizarre hybrid of genius and incompetent. Smart enough to get into and out of the vault unnoticed while leaving a convincing illusion behind, but not smart to get past a locked case. Together with them performing such an audacious and impractical heist and my guess here is that it's probably not something political. Instead I'm thinking it's some young and arrogant devil who thinks themselves to be a "dashing rogue" or some such, who stole it just to prove they could.

You and your servants arrive at the vault. The large ornate doors loom in front of you, a crack of light passing between the two. Around it, guards stiffen in their spots and try not to look at you in the eye. The collective fear in the air is so high-strung you could fashion it as piano wire. You ignore them and step into the vault.

A bath of light reflected from glittering jewels and polished gold assaults you the moment you enter. Trophies from Makai’s victories, accomplishments and celebrations are positioned in neat transparent cases. Portraits of past royal members, commissioned from exemplary artists in their day, adorn the walls. Some distance ahead is the collection of royal crowns. A few are yet to be worn by their owners. You remember that as a child you would spend hours in here, gazing up at the priceless treasures and forming adventures in your head.

This is no time to be reminiscing about your innocent days, so you move on.

Like an ugly blemish on a piece of fine art, a broken case lies amidst the treasure. Shards of it are littered across the floor. You know, as does everyone else in the room, that the cases are laid with traps to prevent greedy thieves from getting their hands on the content. Not to mention, they are reinforced with magic to resist all forms of attacks. It makes the disappearance of your crown even more puzzling.

“Oh, mistress, you’ve arrived.” Some of your peerage are gathered around the area, taking notes, inspecting the crime scene or generally wasting their time talking to one another. A young man with rough brown hair and a matching tie steps forward. “I trust Elisa and Hiro have told you everything we’ve found out.”

“They have, Damiel.” You say. “Have you found anything else?”

He hesitates a bit and nods. “We found a note attached to the back of the case’s pillar. Except…”

“What is the problem?” You demand.

“It's a bit weird. Mistress, I think you should see it for yourself.” Damiel hands you the object.

>>Irinora: Read the note.

>Dear Princess Irinora Agares Lucifuge—Silver Queen, Archducchess of the Almighty, The Fourth Daughter, Mistress of Song, Heir of the Grey, Envoy of the Good Devils and top contender for stupidest member of the royal family,

>This is a letter from your soon-to-be worst enemy, the great and wondrous Prince of Darkness. There are a great deal things I imagined saying to you. Your horrendous taste in fashion. The way you force everyone to obey curfew. The fact that you put limits on how many cups of ice-cream one can eat. Where do you get off ordering the chef to put broccoli and carrots in the stew anyway? The list I made went on and on. The words were going to be severe and the consequences would’ve been terrible.

>Then I realized I could do more damage by stealing your crown, so I did that. As you are well aware, the crown was blessed and bestowed to you by your mother, the ruler of the kingdom herself. It is carved with gold straight from the treasure horde of dragons, studded with thousand-carat diamonds born from the hearts of fire basilisks, emblazoned with the crest of the royal family and contains a bunch of other details I can’t be bothered to remember. Never mind; a treasure worth millions of gold ingots is no doubt important to you and your status as the Third Princess is in danger due to its absence!

>Unlike you and your tyrannical behaviors, I am a merciful man. I shall give you a chance to take it back. There is one condition: you must defeat me in a honorable, one-on-one duel. No sneak attacks, no preparation time—we step into the ring and fight to the death like true demonic warriors! I will wager the crown, you will wage your life. It shall be a duel that the bards in the court will sing of for generations. They will be about us. But mostly your demise!

>The arena shall be in the middle of the old city, in ruins of the old palace. The time will be when the clock first strikes to herald the beginning of sunset. Princess Irinora Agares Lucifuge, if you are the woman that I think you are, you will drop everything to make preparations for our time together. I dearly look forward to it…

>Ha ha ha. HA HA HA. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!

>Yours sincerely, the Prince of Darkness.

>P.S. Also, you smell.

“…and that’s all that was written.” Damiel finishes. “What do you think, mistress?”

What a good question. Your reaction is…

>To clench your fist in rage.
>A coquettish giggle.
>A disapproving sigh.
>A brief shrug of your shoulders.
>Pretty much nothing at all.
>Custom option.

>A disapproving sigh.
So, Laharl? Is that who we're fighting?

>>A disapproving sigh.

Do we have any little brothers? Because this seriously sounds like it's just our little brother being a shit.

>>A disapproving sigh.

>Traditional noblewoman's laugh
>>OH-HOHOHOHOHO!

You give the paper back to Damiel and sigh. “Everyone.” You announce. “I would like to inform everyone about the mystery surrounding this theft.”

As expected, everyone in the room grants you their attention within a second. Satisfied, you proceed.

“It’s that.” You say to your peerage. In the span of two short words, one of which is abbreviated, you have told them everything they need to know.

“Wait, it’s really that?” Damiel exclaims.

“Yes,” You say. “It’s that.

“Ohhhhhh…that.” Elisa says.

“Ah yes, that.” A man in a suit utters.

“Geez, is this for real? Not that again…” Several other servants begin discussing the situation.

“It’s just that. Damn it to heaven, that gave me such a fright!” Hiro snarls.

“That is such a waste of a time…’

“Shouldn’t have been surprised…even in the back of my mind, I had an inkling it would be that.”

“If it’s that, does that mean we can get back to what we were doing?”

“Wait, I don’t understand!” A girl, of short stature and taste in clothing resembling the dolls you used to play with as a little girl, wails. “What is this ‘that’ you are all talking about?”

“Shouldn’t it be obvious?” Someone answers her.

“That is that.” Another person states.

"You're new here, aren't you?" Hiro asks.

"Y-yes, I am..."

“Don’t worry about it.” Elisa places a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder. “It’ll reveal itself in due time.
All you have to do is follow our mistress’s orders to the very last letter.”

“I…I still don’t get it.”

“Just rest easy until then.”

Yeah, definitely our shitty little brother.

>>Irinora: Explain what ‘that’ is.

That is that. What’s so hard to understand?

“Damiel, I don’t suppose you’ve come up with an excuse for me to avoid this nonsense?”

The royal scribe shrugs. “Sorry, mistress. Just like before, you’re the only one the royal family can rely on for this.”

You sigh again. “I was fearing as much. There is no worth in sitting around and complaining, however, so I’d best be off.”

“What about us, mistress?” Damiel asks.

>Leave them where they are; you’ll do this alone.
>Ask Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.
>Order all members of your peerage to unite together. Together, you will suffer as one.
>Question for volunteers.
>Custom option.

>Ask Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.

>>Ask Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.
As well as that girl who dresses like those dolls we used to play with. She needs an explanation, and besides, looking at her makes you feel nostalgic.

>>Ask Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.

>>Ask Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.

Seconding this.

>Ask Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.

>Order Elisa and Hiro to come with you. It’ll provide some entertainment.

“Elisa, Hiro, to me. Damiel, inform the palace about our situation and have a cleaning crew sweep up the mess. The rest of you are free to do whatever you wish.”

Elisa looks at you. “With all due respect, mistress, you don’t really need the two of us for backup.”

“I know, but every opportunity to spend time with my peerage shouldn’t be wasted. Resolving this situation will be awfully dull and I could use the company.” You present your most charming smile, one wielded as a critical weapon in negotiating during foreign affairs, and Elisa blushes. Hook, line and sinker. Hiro, being the obedient man that he is, shrugs and follows after you. He and Elisa lock eyes. He glares at Elisa, who reciprocates.

“Truce.” He states, not as a question, but rather as an order. This has the exactly opposite effect he wishes to achieve.

Elisa shakes her head. “Not on your life.”

Hiro scowls. “Snap your neck and die in a ditch, you cobalt wretch.”

“Ingest all the poisons in the world and writhe on the ground, you useless man.” Elisa snaps, their foreheads inches away from each other.

You grin in triumph. They are both adorable, as the commoners would call it. See? Your little gambit is already proving effective. Perhaps this trip won’t be such a waste of time after all.

“Oh, mistress, may I take the new girl along?” Elisa suddenly asks. “I think she’s curious about what we’ve gotten ourselves into.”

“You may, but make it quick.”

“Eh…” Hiro says. “She shouldn’t. This isn’t worth spending an afternoon.”

“Oh, shush, you.” Elisa interjects. “She’s on holiday and she’s a newcomer to Makai. Let her join; it won’t ruin the fun.”

“That’s not what I said and you know it. Also, what fun?”

You return to your chambers. There are several possessions that you need to acquire before setting out. First, a bath to cleanse your skin. Then, a change of clothes. A royal princess such as you must maintain her appearance when setting out, and you are no exception. You have the maids brush your beautiful hair and find a suitable outfit for travel. They summon a closet stocked to the brim with various dresses and suits. Ah, this matte black dress with white frills will do. It’s just extravagant enough to give the impression of nobility, plus you’ll be mobile enough to perform feats of combat, which will no doubt occur when you challenge this so-called ‘Prince of Darkness’.

Honestly, what a silly name. It’s too explanatory and obvious. All demons have their roots in dark magic, so naming yourself the ‘Prince of Darkness’ is equivalent to stating ‘I am a demon prince’. Ridiculous.

Last but not least, you need to acquire your weapon. Certain siblings of yours keep their weapons inside the royal armory. You’ve always preferred storing yours in your room. The best person to entrust your weaponry with should only be yourself.

Now then, what is this weapon of yours?

>A silver sword.
>A pair of velvet gloves.
>A thick, chain-bound grimoire.
>A sharp lance.
>A staff carved from a mystic tree.
>Custom option.

A beautifully made folding fan.

>A staff carved from a mystic tree.

>A rapier so thin it can hardly be seen

>A staff carved from a mystic tree.

>>Custom option.
A very large, respectably heavy club with a nail in it.

I'll change my vote from to .

>>Custom option.
A kusarigama.

>Custom option; An ornately engraved revolver of a large caliber.

>A staff carved from a mystic tree.

>Custom option.
Custom made Double barreled shotgun.

>>Irinora: Retrieve weapon.

At the back of the room, there is a wooden chest covered from top to bottom in iron chains and heavy padlocks. The locks are all fake, for the only way to open the chest is to pass three sets of small trials. The first is incantation, the second is magical presence and the third is the heartbeat. As the woman who designed this security in the first place, you have solutions for all three. The chains vanish into thin air, allowing you to pop open the lid at your will.

Inside the chest, resting on a stand fashioned from mystic stone, is your precious staff. It was granted to you after a mission wherein you and your peerage liberated one of Makai’s allied settlements from an invading army. That was, oh, perhaps one and a half centuries ago? The settlement elder presented you this staff as a token of their appreciation. It was carved from a mystic archtree that grew in the center of the village, said to be a remnant of the chaotic First Age of Demons—a time where Mother had been nothing more than a tiny idea drifting around her own mother’s brain.

At first glance, the staff is a distasteful piece of work, with its razor sharp branches, jagged spikes and shape reminiscent of an old clergyman with severe back pains. Yet, drift your hands across the wooden surface, close your eyes and you can feel the sleeping, all-consuming primordial magic within. And you know, just as you realised back then, that this is a treasure that all the gold in the Vast Nothingness couldn't hope to compare. A dangerous smile caresses your magnificent features as you take the staff out of its box. This weapon has served you well, allowing you to win countless, critical battles with its magic enhancing abilities. No doubt it will continue to do so in the future.

>>Irinora: Leave the palace.

The streets of the capital are busy with activity. The sunset of the Makain sun skims across the streets, embracing the commoners with its warmth. The sounds of laughter and chatter are present from every corner and every square. A myriad of notes are produced that would make a composer rip his own hair out.

You, Irinora Agares Lucifuge, are…well, you’re not going to reveal your age to a complete stranger; that would be dreadfully uncouth of you. The riddle you have been presented with is…actually pretty easy to solve. Doubly so, now that Hiro, Elisa and that new girl are with you. It’s not a mystery of any such wonder, like the elusive reason as to why demons are incapable of procreating with angels, it’s just…a matter of utter foolishness.

“Mistress, shall we be off?”

Elisa mentions this, politely, by your side. Snapping your fingers. You and your peerage prepare to take off.

“W-wait!” The new girl wails. “Mistress, I haven’t gotten by flying permit yet! I'm not allowed to fly!”

“I’ll allow it.” You state.

The dueling site is in the old palace, the former home of the royal family. Its crumbling structure looms across the back of the city, like a sleeping stone troll covered in moss and dirt. Approximately two centuries ago, Mother had received a bounty of gold from a conquered country and decided it was high time her family had a change of scenery. Also, she did not appreciate how the old palace would remain hot in summer and frigid in winter. That alone should have been a deal-breaker, but by the time she regretted it everyone had already settled in. Contracted work could result in dreadful consequences, sometimes.

You and your peerage land outside the old arena, where soldiers would be trained and occasionally punished if they turned out to be treasonous. You remember fighting your siblings over blood feuds in here. Those had been entertaining times.

“Mistress, I detect a strong force ahead. It must be this ‘Prince of Darkness’.” Elisa says, gazing at the rusted gates. “What are your orders?”

>Tell them to remain in hiding.
>They shall fight alongside you.
>Let them sit and relax in the stands.
>Custom option.

>>Let them sit and relax in the stands.

>>Let them sit and relax in the stands.
This is a 1v1 anyways.

>Let them sit and relax in the stands.

>>Let them sit and relax in the stands.
And take pictures, that we might frame them and hang them on the wall afterwards.

>Let them sit and relax in the stands.

>>Let them sit and relax in the stands.
Might as well ask who the new girl is.

“The three of you may relax.” You reply. “I shall act alone.”

“Well, the mistress has spoken. That’s that.” Hiro says as he, Elisa and the new girl head up to the stands. “Anybody want a drink?”

“Don’t accept his offer, rookie.” Elisa warns. “You won’t sleep well at night.”

The new girl flinches. “I think it’s alright…”

Elisa whirls around, grabs the girl by her frilly shoulders and stares deep into her eyes. The genesis of an understanding is approaching. “Seriously, don’t. Take this lesson from a woman who has suffered at his hands.”

Back down at ground level, in the center of the dusty arena, you hear a series of ancient demonic swear words coupled with feminine shrieks and failed placations. Good, you think to yourself. Everything is proceeding smoothly, just like the dozens of other times this situation has occurred. You stand your ground and wait. The area is deserted, save for a trail of ants crawling against the ground, but your opponent should be here any moment now.

How does this very second sound?

High in the sky, a mass of swirling dark clouds gather above the arena. The temperature collapses onto itself, heralding the arrival of screeching gales and wintery airs. High in the stands, Elisa shivers and contemplates stealing Hiro’s drink for the warmth. A bolt of lightning strikes in the distance, providing a perfect dramatic backdrop for your opponent’s arrival.

From the opposite entrance, you hear the sound of footfalls, each one as heavy as an anchor descending into the deep sea. Your senses tingle as traces of dark magic emerge from the doorway. The thumping nose continues. Whoever is approaching is deliberately delaying his or her grand entrance.

Finally, after several agonizing (and boring) seconds, your opponent emerges. At first glance it appears to be a living suit of armor, a full head taller than you, two massive greatswords attached to the back, golden script adoring the lines in the helmet. But no, you detect life in there, buried beneath layers of hexes and poisonous enchantments. Somewhere in the Vast Nothingness, a flash of inspiration strikes an aspiring composer and he slams his fists on the keys, producing a wailing, wonderful fortissimo. He is rewarded with a raise.

“Irinora Agares Lucifuge.” The armored man booms, in a rough, throaty voice that almost sounds as if he has contracted throat cancer. “You have finally arrived. Long have I waited for this day, this time where I, the Prince of Darkness, would exact revenge on you for all the transgressions you have made against me. Luckily for you, I am an honorable man and—what in the empress’s name are you doing?”

“What does it look like, simpleton?” You say, flipping to the next page, which causes your eyes to widen at the dramatic twist present. “Be patient, will you? I’ve almost finished this chapter.”

The armored man pauses. “As I was saying, I am an honorable man. Normally, I would beset my minions upon your tragic soul like a deadly plague. However, I am in a good mood and am willing to perform a duel to the very end, as long as you—”

“Hiro!” You call out. “I am feeling rather thirsty from the cold. May I partake in some of your beverage?”

He inspects his flask. “Sorry mistress, we just finished it all. I can brew some more if you like.”

“If I could have a moment to finish my sentence…” The armored man growls, his voice increasing in volume and exasperation.

“I have some wine!” Elisa shouts. “Would you like some, mistress?”

“Are you in possession of a glass cup?”

Elisa shakes her head, then looks over at Hiro. “We could pour some into Hiro’s flask.”

“It seems the Third Daughter is a very rude woman who can’t even take the time to accept a challenge properly—” the armored man snarls. The man’s face is obscured by his helmet, but it’s clear that a vein is bulging in his forehead, like a bloodied, bloated toad.

“It might mix in with that foul drink of his, mistress, and I’d refrain from ingesting that—”

“The mistress can speak for herself, thank you very much—”

“Um, I don’t want to interrupt, but aren’t we distracting her from something—”

“Oh my, this is such a revolutionary tale. I did not know humanity was this inventive—”

“I do not want our beloved mistress to suffer indigestion!”

“You sure are making a lot of assumptions, maid!”

“To take my status as an insult…hmph, a failure on all accounts! I am proud to serve the royal family as a handmaiden!”

“Please stop arguing, mistress won’t like it…”

“Mmm…so far, I shall give this tale four of five—”

“ENOUGH!” The armored man slams one of his greatswords into the ground, creating shockwaves that blast your carefully combed hair and send the new girl into a fright.

“To heaven with these fancy speeches, I see that rehearsing them was a waste of time! Irinora Agares Lucifuge, I, the Prince of Darkness challenge you to a duel to the death!”

What is your response?

>GREAT PRIMORDIAL MAGIC: Hail of Devouring Spears.
>Ask if he can save time and just surrender already.
>Summon your servants to join the fray.
>Continue to read your book.
>Custom option.

Oh, we're just driving him crazy, aren't we?

>>Continue to read your book.

>>Continue to read your book.

>Custom option.
"Okay."

>>Custom option.
You there, be quiet for a moment. I need to see if they're finally going to kill each other or kiss! (Blushes and brings hand to face, sighs) Oh, seeing them together almost makes me jealous...

>"Okay"
>Continue to read your book.

“You there, be quiet for a moment.” You scold the Prince of Darkness like a mother towards a misbehaving child. “I wish to inspect my servants for a moment.”

Back up in the stands, Hiro and Elisa have their foreheads pressed against each other for the tenth time today. Their noses are posed to touch each other. Just a little bit of pushing and shoving, perhaps from the newest member of your peerage, and you would accelerate past Damiel on the betting pool and take home the prize…!

“DIE!” The Prince of Darkness screams, slashing with his greatsword and creating a blast of air that could slice a human in half. You allow it to take its time, deftly step to the side. Without bothering to make eye contact with your opponent, you let loose a gasp of resignation. Oh my, oh my, you think to yourself, the battle has already begun. You can feel your demonic blood bubbling, as if it had been placed on moderately low heat. It seems that you will have to put in some actual effort today.

That’s no reason to stop reading, you decide.

“YOU WILL PAY!” The Prince of Darkness charges forward, prepared to bring his greatswords down in a cross chop…

>>The fire was all consuming. It had burned through the streets, scorching the little stalls, turning the river into steam, reducing good men and women to ash, forming a haunted blaze of dancing oranges and reds that seems to stretch all the way across the sky.

“Barrier.”

“Quintuple Souls.”

Five clusters of raw magic form in an arc around you, and they too fly forwards…

>>“From now on,” the princess said, gently caressing the burnt child’s chin, “You will belong to me.”

You are not one for melee combat. You’d rather leave that to your magic. Hence…

“Magic Blade.”

Aquamarine and black clash, and you overpower your opponent with ease. He is sent skidding across the stone tiles. You turn the page, still absorbed in its intricacies…

>>The burnt child wailed, tears running down his charred face. He had broken a priceless vase belonging to the princess, and now he would be punished. The royal family would no longer want him. They would cast him out into that freezing wasteland, that empty desolate place devoid of any hope…

“Pure Demonic Flame!”

“Thunderclap.”

“Swarming Insects!”

“Maelstrom.”

Raw magic arcs and flashes across the arena, bolts of purple, black and cobalt bouncing around the place like rubber lighting bolts. They strike against the concrete and char it, crack against stone structures and break them, hit birds in the sky and force them to descend in a smoking, smelling mess.

You pause for a moment. It seems that rushing around the place has caused you to lose your page. How vexing. You will need to spend seconds fixing this. Seconds!

The Prince of Darkness is conjuring a blast of dark aura to smother you. You decide that you need a way to block it. Hmmm…this unused greatsword here sounds nice. With a single mighty heave, you fling it out of the ground and toss it towards the incoming attack. Both the magic blast and the sword crumble to bits.

>>“Happy Birthday!” The horde of demons shouted. The child dropped the parchment in his hands, his jaw slack. “What is this?” He asked.
>>“A celebration, duh!” the man in the neat little cap said. “Everyone has one on the day they were born. Heh, looks like the maid did something useful for a change.”
>>“I’m sorry, what did you say? Because it sounded like you wanted a pike stuck up your buttocks.”
>>“Now now, this is not the time for fighting…” The princess said, clapping her hands.

So, uh...did Irinora's love of this book influence her when it came time to choose the members of her peerage? Because it sounds like she was letting it guide her.

End of Book 2, says the last page. Please purchase the second omnibus collection if you would like to read the rest of the story.

That was a fine tale, you think to yourself. The female deuterogamist reminded you a lot of yourself. Can’t imagine why, though. Once you get back, you are definitely ordering Damiel to go to town and procure the next portion. Actually, if you summoned a carrier pigeon and attached a message, you could do that now. There’s no parchment here, but if you inscribed the letters into the pigeon’s flesh…

The ‘huff-puff’ of a deep, throaty voice catches your attention. You turn around to see the Prince of Darkness down on one knee, breathing deeply. He raises his helmet and you can feel his glare piercing into you. You give him a small smile and snap the book shut, then face him.

“Damn it…damn it all…” he grunts.

“Would you like to surrender?” You ask, pleasantly. “The sun has yet to set.”

It’s as if a switch has been flipped in his brain. The Prince of Darkness stands up, defiant. “Never!” he roars.

He raises his arms towards the sky. A great orb of darkness gathers in his palms, large enough to blot out the sun from your view. You stare it, your expression impassive. High up in the peanut gallery, the new girl squeaks with fright.

“This is my final gambit, Third Daughter!” The Prince of Darkness shouts. “With this, I shall bring you to your knees!”

With every word, the intensity of the orb grows.

>ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY MAGIC: Magic Bolt.
>Snap your fingers and summon your peerage.
>Do absolutely nothing.
>Reread the book from the beginning.
>Cast your own last resort.
>Custom option.

>ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY MAGIC: Magic Bolt.

>>ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY MAGIC: Magic Bolt.

>ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY MAGIC: Magic Bolt.
>Reread the book from the beginning.

>>ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY MAGIC: Magic Bolt.
>Reread the book from the beginning.
>Tell new girl to write a note about procuring the next portion. Signed copies, of course. And do be quick about it!

>ACTUALLY PRETTY EASY MAGIC: Magic Bolt
>yawn
>Tell new girl to write a note about procuring the next portion. Signed copies, of course. And do be quick about it!
>Also kick him in the nuts before we leave for annoying us.

You cast the most basic of spells, the treasured Magic Bolt. Simple, yet reliable. It demonstrates this fact by hitting the Prince of Darkness straight in the chest. He topples over and lands straight on the back. The great orb of darkness vanishes into thin air.

Just like that, you have won.

>>Irinora: Be victorious.

The new girl jumps down from the stands and lands besides you. The ground cracks from the force. “Mistress!” she cries. “Are you alright?”

“I am very well.” You reply. “I had the pleasure of finishing a much anticipated book. I am pleased to say it met most of my expectations. Why are Hiro and Elisa unconscious, by the way?”

“Oh…” The new girl’s cheeks redden with shame. “They were about to start fighting. Hiro had his axe out and Elisa was brandishing her folding fan. I was scared, so I knocked them both out. D-did I do something wrong?”

You pat her on the head. “Not necessarily. But Hiro and Elisa’s little fights are a staple of our daily little lives, so there’s no need to interfere next time…” You gesture to the two bodies on the ground. “Truly, the two of them are inseparable. It’s why the betting pool exists, after all.”

The new girl blinks. “What betting pool?” she asks.

A knowing smirk creeps across that lips. “Why, my dear servant, come closer so that I can—” You then notice the armor fading from the Prince of Darkness’s body, as if it hadn’t existed at all. The metal trails off into wisps, which disintegrate into nothingness in the thin air. “Hold that thought, we should see the outcome of this. Your question from earlier shall be answered.”

So, you and your servant stare at the rapidly decomposing armor, until every last chink of metal has vanished. The occupant, the Prince of Darkness, the thief that stole your crown, is revealed as…

“THE SIXTH PRINCE?” The new girl shrieks, causing a flock of birds perching on a stone arch to scatter.

“And there you have it.” Elisa groans, picking herself up from the ground. “It’s him, the prodigy.”

“Told you this was a waste of time. This happens every other cycle.” Hiro comments, having dragged himself from the depths of unconsciousness. “Ow, my head. I need a drink…”

Your blonde, little half-brother is cowering on the ground, staring at you and your servants as if he is the sheep and you are the wolves. His clothes are covered in muck. A squeak of fear emerges from his rosy lips.

What do you do now?

>Engage stern lecture mode.
>Comment on his performance; give constructive feedback.
>Smile and give him a helping hand up.
>Ask one of your servants to pick him up.
>Custom option.

>>Comment on his performance; give constructive feedback.

>Smile and give him a helping hand up.
>Engage stern lecture mode.

>>Smile and give him a helping hand up.
>>Engage stern lecture mode.
>>Make him apologize for wasting everyone's time

>>Engage stern lecture mode.
>>Comment on his performance; give constructive feedback.

>>>Smile and give him a helping hand up.
>>>Engage stern lecture mode.
>>>Make him apologize for wasting everyone's time

>Smile and give him a helping hand up.
>Comment on his performance; give constructive feedback.