40k headcanon

So, Veeky Forums, what's your headcanon in the 41st millennium?
Pic sort of related.

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fanfiction.net/s/10835035/1/The-Emperor-s-Greenest
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I like to pretend it's still a silly parody of space opera and sci fi.

space marines are failed experiments of the emperor that while useful to keep the enemies of man at bay, have proven they are unstable, expensive pieces of meat. catachans can be stronger, mechanicus can be smarter, inquisition can bring down the wrath of god, the assassin clans can be stealthier and more successful.

why do these pauldron people exist?

To show off the power of humanity through the mounting of ever growing pauldron sizes. Unfortunately, the hats of the Guard are a better method of this.

After Yarrick beat the shit out of countless Warbosses some orks began to think maybe dis humie is just really an ork in a clever disguise and from the sound of it dis emperor git seems like he could give good ol mork and gork a pounding.

source on that comic?

The "Khornate Knight Incident" never happened the way it was written in the codex. The reason why it was written so was because the author was a Grey Knight fanboy and was rejected by a Sister of Battle stationed on Titan.

The orks are like some super hat wearing beast. if humanity replaced their space marines with modified ork/man living weapons everything would have been fine and the galaxy would have been a better place (for humans at least)

the sensei and the star child are too interesting too be written out of canon. same thing with malal.

Psyker sacrifices don't keep the Emperor alive. In fact, it's probably making things worse.

The reason he's still not totally dead is that there are a number of orks out there who are convinced that he's alive and well. If more orks adopted this mindset, The Emperor would return to full health.