40k headcanon

Yeah, Malal's just hiding in the warp fucking the other chaos gods because he hates them so much. He's known to a few mortals, but the never get his name right.

>Some in the Inquisition know this
>The ordo xenos is in charge of trying to covert orks

Actually, this might actually be a pretty good plan in actual 40k.

Khorne has some amount of honor.

The Tyranids in the galaxy are just the scouting force.

Chaos Undivided still exists.

Iron Warriors, Death Guard, Black Legion, Thousand Sons, and Word Bearers are more or less organized as a Legion.

Ollanius Pius' original story is unchanged.

All of the Black Crusades weren't actually to conquer the Imperium, but feed Chaos and weaken the Corpse-Emperor's lapdogs.

Carcharodon Origins are still unknown.

Tau are still the glimmer of Noble Bright hope in the Galaxy.

I like to imagine Malal is planning this huge plan against nugle to break into his garden and free Isha.

That or the Blood Ravens do it

blood ravens. definitely.

Holy shit I just remembered something.

Arent there 2 Blood Ravens in the Eye of Terror on some repentance crusade? One of them being Force Commander hair gel it could happen as some bullshit DoW 3 ending.

>HEY YOU FAGGOTS DID YOU MISS ME?
>Force Commander your still alive?
>NO THANKS YOU GABERIEL
>OH YEAH AND TELL YOUR ELDAR GIRLFIREND MACHHA I GOT A PRESENT FOR HER

>it's still a silly parody of space opera and sci fi.

It was never a parody past Rogue Trader, and even then whether or not it was a parody is debatable.

It was, however, a setting that internally took itself seriously while still making references that an external viewer would get and find humorous.

>Space marine chapters are 10,000 strong on average
>Rainbow warriors and valedictors are the loyalist remnants of the two lost legions, hidden within the Ultramarines by a sympathetic Girlyman. This is part of why the Ultramarines were so numerous following the heresy.
>One of the lost primarchs was female and was eliminated (and expunged from history) after bearing fertile human-primarch children, thus treating to replace humanity with a new species of astartes nephilim.

>>One of the lost primarchs was female and was eliminated (and expunged from history) after bearing fertile human-primarch children, thus treating to replace humanity with a new species of astartes nephilim.
You have shit taste.

Apply for Black Library.

>Iron Warriors, Death Guard, Black Legion, Thousand Sons, and Word Bearers are more or less organized as a Legion.

Barring Thousand Sons, they largely still are.

Word Bearers are actually the most "legion" organized of them all, and their war machine and power structure has changed little since the Heresy.

Black Legion still maintains its Legion heirarchy, while having tons of client warbands that come when they're called and auxiliary units of mortals and xenos allies.

Iron Warriors are still organized along Legion lines, they just have far greater autonomy than they used to until Perturabo shows up and gives them purpose.

>All of the Black Crusades weren't actually to conquer the Imperium, but feed Chaos and weaken the Corpse-Emperor's lapdogs.

This is the current canon.

>Tau are still the glimmer of Noble Bright hope in the Galaxy.

They were always the naive race that hadn't actually had to deal with the Big Dogs of the galaxy, and the axe hangs above their head for the day they get their shit kicked in.

>One of the lost primarchs was female and was eliminated (and expunged from history) after bearing fertile human-primarch children, thus treating to replace humanity with a new species of astartes nephilim.

That's...actually not a terrible reason for them to be purged.

I still don't want female Space Marines though

>They were always the naive race that hadn't actually had to deal with the Big Dogs of the galaxy, and the axe hangs above their head for the day they get their shit kicked in.
They've swung from Noble Bright Naive aliens to 1984 / Brave New World / Handmaiden's Tail kind of things.

One thing I forgot on
Tau don't have Riptides at all. Period. It's so against their tactical doctrine it causes me undying rage.

Is it so wrong to want a Book of Enoch analog (considering the heresy is a war in heaven analog, and we know the two primarchs were lost before it occurred)?

Fan rendition of a piece of writefaggotry. It's not half bad, check it out.

fanfiction.net/s/10835035/1/The-Emperor-s-Greenest

Given what you want; yes.

Best headcanon for the lost Primarchs are Sigmar and Crom the Everchosen.

My headcanon with the lost legions is that their genetic legacy lives on. Since it's believed that a large portion of Ultramarines during the crusade were from the lost legions, and they were able to sustain their large numbers, I assumed that added the geneseed of their distant cousins to the gene pool, which might explain why ultramarines have a veried look, where as most chapters all have astartes that look similar both within their ranks and their successors. Like how most Americans have a little bit of native in them, I'd imagine that the modern ultras are mostly Guilliman's but with a trace amount of Rainbow Warriors.

Only female Primarch. And even then it's supposed to ilistrate in universe just how bad (and dangerous) an idea female marines are.

>Ollanius Pius is not a perpetual
>Young kid who just wanted to some cash to pay for tuition in college
>Last member of a dying religion.
>Secretly practices despite ban on religion
>Has Crisis of Faith due to being the last practitioner of religion, Emperor basically being a god, yet banning worship, even of himself. And Chaos shit going on.
>Assault on Imperial Palace happens.
>Horus leads forces to kill Emperor
>Cuts through Sanguinius and bloodies Emps.
>Loyalist forces try to reach Emps and save his ass
>Ollanius Pius gets there first.
>Sees Horus.
>Sees the Emperor.
>Understands what he must do
>Reaffirms his faith
>Stares down the embodiment of all evil
>Stands between them and flips Horus the bird.
>Goes out with a smile on his face.
>Big E sheds a tear for him as he kills Horus right after.

The Emperor will eventually be merged with his fragmented soul in the Warp and be restored, he will see the state of the Imperium and force radical change. No machine cult, no imperial cult, and peaceful relations with the Eldar and Tau. But some factions will see this as blasphemy and break away from the Imperium. Most of the Inquisition, the Adeptus Mechanus, several Imperial Guard legions, so mired in Imperial Creed they can't change. Or just don't wan to give up their power. But this time, all Space Marine chapters remain loyal,and are restored to being legions.

Space marine chapters are 10,000 strong, more or less considering losses

Jhagatai Khan is currently the reigning champion on a gladiator world held by the dark eldar, still planning his escape

All of the loyalist primarchs are existing in some form

The legion of the damned are "daemons" of the the emperor

Khaine freed the other eldar gods during hisnfightbwith slaanesh, who escaped into the mortal plane and his among their people as the Phoenix lords

The tau were designed by the eldar as a subservient race to replace mankind.
The larger parts of the hive fleets have already started showing up, there isn't some massive swarm that will BTFO of the Galaxy with no opposition

Malal is still around

Good taste.

The emprah getting wounded by horus scattered all the shaman souls around the imperium. The Black Ships are an attempt to reunite all the shards into a contiguous whole, but significant portions have reincarnated on their own and are trying to fix things on their own.
Worse, piling all the rest of those psykers in there is filling in the 'gaps' the other shards would fill with much less stable soulstuff.
If the emperor wakes now, he's not gonna be the same guy he was before sitting down to his ten thousand year shit.

Omegon fell to tzeentch and the alpha legion would be much more effectively helping the imperium from the shadows if anyone in the alpha legion could actually trust any other member of the alpha legion not to be tainted with chaos.

Ork psychic foofram is pretty limited due to them being extremely small minded; It's much harder to get them to care about the state of the universe as opposed to immediate irritations like running out of ammo or the trukk's engine exploding.

Rowboat has the best intentions, but is an uncreative, narrow-minded prick.

that the Materium is somewhat malleable much like the warp. Its just much "thicker" and needs titanic amounts of willpower to manipulate, such that's only really found in the likes of the C'tan or Tyranid Hive Mind. They're "reality psykers" which is why they don't use the warp.

>All of the loyalist primarchs are existing in some form
He's dead, Medusan; make peace with it.

"Existing" and "alive" aren't the same thing.

I suppose bits and pieces of him probably do exist as trophies strapped on to some heretics' pauldrons, yes.
He's very unlikely to make a comeback, is what I'm saying. Not much the writers can do with getting one's head chopped off and then the body never being recovered, unlike with certain other Primarchs who conveniently "mysteriously disappeared."

Honestly, I kinda go with this.
The Imperium *could* make shit tons more Space Marines if they wanted to, but they don't because the Heresy literally almost wiped out humankind. The number they have (which is quite a bit more than official estimates due to deliberately shitty record keeping and loop holes) is artificially low, enough to be useful, hopefully not enough to threaten the Imperium's stability.
Traitor Legions, on the other hand, use all sorts of wacky methods: Soul-bonded clones, demon tainted Gene-seed, those weird pregnant women monsters, whatever Fabulous Bill is working on this week, etc. They can even make female Astartes, from time to time, but they're nearly indistinguishable from the men so no one really cares, and curing their infertility is something Bill hasn't figured out yet.
The trick is the traitors make do with crappier gear, and generally train new recruits to a poorer standard. Hence why traitor marines often seem to outnumber loyalists by a massive amount, but still lose a lot.
The core "Veterans of the Long War" types are still around, and when they show up it's usually a big fucking deal. Some have ascended, most have weird immortality pacts or time-displacement shenanigans that make them come back from the dead like comic book villains.
Also, Newcrons and Oldcrons co-exist and fight a lot.
I support all of this. I'd add that most of the Chaos gods *do* have positive sides, and people inside their territory are oddly content with their lot.
I can dig a female primarch, and the Emperor fearing her fertility.
I think it's totally *possible* to create a female marine, and it's totally possible to de-sterilize a male Astartes as well. An Astartes can only ever successfully mate with another Astartes, and so the Emperor decided not to create any more and destroyed all knowledge that it could be done. His weapons were meant to be short term, not a replacement for baseline humanity.

Never! Frank Castle made it to the 31st millenium, and he'll have made it to the 41st as well!

They exist & used the Tyranid attack as an excuse to go underground.

>Fulgrim has Ferrus' whole skeleton in his personal room.
>Every day Fulgrim has tea and talks to the skeleton as if they both were alive, not Daemons, and before the Heresy
>"That upstart Abby is getting anxious again. He's going to something foolish. We really need to tell Horus, but no one has seen him in ages!"
>"..."
>"I hope Curze comes back soon. I've been so worried. Gorgon, are you ok? You usually love your tea."

>Emperor = Johnny
>Horus = Mark
>The Beast = Chris R.
I have no idea who's the rest of the cast.

I combine existing sci-fi settings into the 40k lore. Basically the stuff between 2m and 31millenium

> Event Horizon
First warp travel by humans ( not realising they need geller fields). And also first space hulk.
> kill zone series
First inter planetary empires and wars
> dune
First navigators, first psykers etc, also books from wider series deal with men of iron etc

New canon.

>> kill zone series
>First inter planetary empires and wars
Given Helghan's environment, they could possibly be from Morty's adopted home world.

>So, Veeky Forums, what's your headcanon in the 41st millennium?
That it's a dark comedy setting that the IP's owners forgot was supposed to be a comedy.

>OH YEAH AND TELL YOUR ELDAR GIRLFRIEND MACHA I GOT A PRESENT FOR HER

I didn't come for these feels.

>The legion of the damned are "daemons" of the the emperor
I thought that was the Living Saints?

Disturbingly possible

Whenever the Tyranids kill a sentient being its soul is immediately absorbed into the Hive Mind and added to the collective consciousness. Additionally, a sliver of each soul is assigned to a Tyranid bio-form, from gaunt to tyrant. The more valuable and synaptic Tyranid bio-forms are reserved for the most persevering soul which in turn allows the soul to gain back more of its consciousness. This of course will never outmatch the control the Hive Mind has. Thoughts?

Why not both?

Somewhere, in an ancient area of the warp, where the eldest deamons once dwelled and ruled before the gods came into being, he slumbers, and waits. He slumbers, surrounded by his works, waiting to create them once again. He waits to be summoned once more, to utterly annihilate the deamons once more. To rip and tear once more.
[Spoiler] I want to believe

I apologize, I cannot into spoilers

Fulgrim never actually took control of his body back.

CTRL+S

Doom could've easily taken place in the 40K universe.

Doom is probably a regular-ish occurrence in 40k.

One Guardmen just looses their shit, killing Daemons with a Shotgun until he becomes a Living Saint.

Bless your kind soul

A guardsman killing a couple of demons with a crappy stubgun is a plausibly regularish occurance.

A guardsman killing enough demons with a crappy stubgun to qualify for sainthood is an exceedingly rare but still possible occurrence.

A guardsman killing enough demons to make a Grey Knight do a double take, then entering the warp to continue killing all the demons all the time is just straight up impossible.

Space Marine Chapters are supported by a full regiment of IG.

Even the Eldar venerate the Codex Astartes, and view Marneus Calgar as their spiritual liege.

Asurmen's aspect warriors were drawn from his own meditations on the teachings of Robute Guilliman, though he knows in his heart that the decadent Eldar can never match the warriors of Ultramar.

Matt Wards please and stay kill.

Even the Ultramarines venerate the Codex Astartes, and view Rogal Dorn as their spiritual liege.

Calgar's honour guard were drawn from his own meditations on the teachings of Rogal Dorn, though he knows in his heart that the romaboo Ultramarines could never match the Hammers of Dorn.

Doomguy would probably be a heretic in the eyes of the Admech
Considering Doom 4 is using hell energy as a power resources and the warp is essentially hell and Doomguy hates the idea of hell energy, he'd probably beat the shit out of all the warp drives in the navy

Doomguy is the hero we deserve but not the one we need right now
It's an even scarier thought to think of him just living in the Warp and making it his bitch

>wears blue
>has a horsehair plume
>red helmet (codex-approved tactical marking)
>makes his warriors all wear blue
>with white hats to signify their veteran status
face the music, sunshine

Doom is probably the most accurate depiction of a fluff marine ever.

A power armored bundle of hatred and fuck you, moving inhumanly fast while shooting with unerring accuracy, tearing anything that gets within arm's reach limb from limb.

Once the game hits the Hell levels and you're taking out multiple Barons, thats when Doom Marine hits Primarch levels

Malal and his cults have been quietly amassing power for countless millennia, waiting for the perfect moment to return and bring ruin to the plans and forces of the other Gods.
As the 13th Black Crusade rears its head, that moment grows ever closer...

1)Chapters are 100000 strong.
2) Most of the lore regarding the imperium is mythological pseudo-history. For example the iron hands primarch isn't really named "ferus manus", his true name was lost to time
3) anything related to hard numbers, including things related to tech specs and weapons, as they dont make any sense
4)space marines are super humans, yes, but die just the same. No swimming through lava or any of the stupid stuff from the books

>Chapters being legion sized
Kek.

>Primarchs names not being known.
Nah.

>Numbers
Okay, yeah. I'll give you that one.

>None of the Spess Mehreen Magic
But user, that's the best part!

>The Alpha Legion is made of scattered groups. Some are loyal to Big E others worship chaos. But they have little to no contact with each other and just assume each group is on the same page.

>The Second Primarch was Leman Russ's best friend and closest brother. When whatever happened to the missing primarchs happened, the Second refused to fight back. The Wolves slaughtered them without a fight. That is why Russ calls himself the Emp's Executioner.

> A certain show I can't mention about friendship and magic is located in the 40k galaxy. Completely unaware of the untold carnage surrounding their world.

You forgot gears of war. Cog could easily be a precursor to the mechancus

>Felinids are adorable. So adorable that they must be contained to their homeworld or they would overwhelm pure human settlements with crossbreeds.

...

There is some chucklefuck in the Imperium who, at this very moment, sleeping on a bed mattress made from the feathers of the Primarch Sanguinus. It's damn comfy too. Wars have been fought and ancient lineages extinguished over this bed. It gives health and ensures fertility while also never staining.

It is a good and holy bed.

A headcannon is not something you wish to be true that explicitly is not. It's something you suppose could have occurred within the universe based on your knowledge of it.

>The Second Primarch was Leman Russ's best friend and closest brother. When whatever happened to the missing primarchs happened, the Second refused to fight back. The Wolves slaughtered them without a fight. That is why Russ calls himself the Emp's Executioner.
Look up Icarion Stormborn and the Lightning Bearers Legion

I was thinking more Thorodor and the Storm Eagles Legion. But I will look that up.

>A certain show I can't mention about friendship and magic is located in the 40k galaxy. Completely unaware of the untold carnage surrounding their world.
He-man? Thundercats? Some other 80's cartoon that upon viewership in moderen times seems to consist of 80% repressed homoerotic ideas?

The cast is not human. Think magic four legged creatures of a species with 3 sub-types. Not saying anymore cause I will get banned.

when i was young lad and first started playing, melta weapons weren't exactly well defined. at least not that i could find any where, all i knew was that they did a butt ton of damage with heat. some one told me that they fired a stream of super heated molten plastic, like some kind of high pressure anti-tank supersoaker. and while i am aware that it's just a heat ray, it will always be the squirt gun from hell in my brain.

I don't get it. Elaborate further.

Carlos Mcconel is definitely the Thundercats homeworld and the story is of their ancient ancestors when they cast off their demonic overlords with a divine blade along with the help of the other beastmen on the planet. Before slaughtering them all afterwards to preserve their purity since they were the closest to the pure human strain of course.

I wonder of Felinids are popular among Ordo Xeno and Hereticus Inquisitors.

I think he's talking about Rakgol

Let's just say some believe friendship is magic.

>the emperor didn't create female space because rogue space marines could reverse the sterilization process, start making children, and you'd lose control over the number of super soldiers you had
>similar reason for female primarchs, except he didn't want to risk primarch incest. An inbred superhuman as a concept is horrifying, especially in the grimdark future
>the two lost primarchs were horribly mutated in the lab and the emp mercy killed them

No they were xeno lovers and hippies.

Small pastel colored equines

oh, also, my idea for the 2 missing primarchs is that they, unlike they're brothers were propelled not just through space, but also time, because the warp is a dick. around about the time of the last battle that's totally going to happen any day now, no honestly guys, they'll appear again, one on either side of the chaos devide.

>There a loads of Tau sized alien civilization either ignored by the imperium or actively fighting with it

>New crons and old crons co exist and fight with each other, new crons want to capture the c'tan and use them for god energy and the old crons want to take out the new crons before sealing off the warp and ending reality

>certain show about freindship and magic
>four legged
>primary colour happy creatures
Either user here has shit taste in fanfic or THE BEST IDEA EVER! HAPPY TREE FREINDS IN THE GRIMDARK FAR FUTURE!

I sincerely have no idea what you're getting at. Is this a meme?

Google "Friendship is Magic".

I had a similar idea, with the change that one was sent back in time, met Big E, and gave him the idea for the Primarch project in the first place.

My headcanon is that when Nassir Amit (the Captain of the Blood Angels Legion's 5th Company, the Flesh Tearers' first Chapter Master, and the guy who topped Kharn in his rage and bloodlust) fell to the Black Rage, he wasn't killed but instead entombed within the Tower of the Lost on either on Baal or Cretacia until the day where the Sons of Sanguinius fall upon their darkest hour.

I love the idea of the most bloodthirsty motherfucker in all of 40k history getting even more fucking angry and raging, and I love it even more when I remember the dude is suited up like Marneus Calgar in the Armour of Antilochus, even down to the dual Chainfists/Stormbolters.

Fucking Death Company Terminator Marneus Calgar.
Now that's fucking scary.

It is now my headcanon that FiM becomes the Rakgol.

I like to think that he's carefully trying to uncover and figure out ways of undoing all of Tzneetch's plans, and that's what's keeping him "lost"

Ollanius Pias made his sacrafice, and the idea that it was a Custodes or Terminator instead is actually a case where the Administratum record keepers millennia later looked back at the story and thought "There's no way this could have possibly happened, it's too unbelievable". Thus, there's conflict between the popular story and what is actually believed by the higher ups, where the more popular story is actually the correct one in this case.

Oh, and Space marines have penises but are sterile, they don't produce any sperm. What little sex drive they'd still have would be wasted shooting blanks.

>Luther won the civil war on Caliban
>Lion El'Johnson is a prisoner on the Rock
>The Fallen are actually the original Loyalist Dark Angels
>Cypher has evidence of this conspiracy and is trying to reach Terra to present it
>This is why the Dark Angels are so comically obsessed with hiding the existence of the Fallen to the point of killing their allies, and single-mindedly obsessed with hunting them

It just makes the Dark Angels more interesting to me, and better justifies their obsession with the Fallen, instead of it just being. "Oh, we had a civil war ten thousand years ago, but it was taken care of." Especially since other chapters (like the Space Wolves) have done worse (like actively opposing and fighting Imperial authorities) and gotten away with very little issues from the greater Imperium.

How would he be considered a loyal servant of the Emperor?