Magic: the Gathering Emergency Flavor General - Ia! Ia! Edition

I'm glad it's Emrakul and I hope the Jacetice League is able to kill her by the end of this set. I want new villains, I'm sick of the Eldrazi.

I hope we get Muraganda after this set with a dinosaur planeswalker

Fuck Innistrad I'm done with this garbage

we already know what we're getting next

What i confirmed right now from MTG video sneak peak and Lore articles.

>Jacestice League
>More powerful angels killed
>gisela/bruna fags on suicide watch
>Liliana fighting Emrakul head on with a zombie army
>Tamiyo definitely gonna be part of the expansion until the end

Oh that's right, never mind

Well then I hope we get a UR artificer legend that's not terrible

And then Muraganda

>Indian expansion

What ere they thinking. Jacetice league will probably die in a car accident.

>Jace reads Emrakul's mind.

>"She's afraid... She's afraid!"

Another wave of refugees?

>"hurr durr gonna release a multiplanar threat just to sic it on one plane because Sorin was a meanie"
Nahiri confirmed for colossal retard

I swear that little boy must be mono white because wizards loves making him suffer.
>he actually ignites after the angel swoops down

>World of Artificers
Phyrexia gets a boner just looking at that plane

It was already released, Nahiri just steered the ship into the rocks.

pretty sure she was steering the rocks.

>inb4 tamiyo casts armageddon on the whole plane, killing off emrakul, nahiri and the jacetice league

What, in one of those VERBOTEN sealed scrolls? I hope so

is there some kind of movement to fire kimberly? has she ever written anythingnthat wasn't garbage?

not even bitching about the general arc of this story, her prose are just painful.

EMN's only chance to redeem itself are currently good mechanics/gameplay and impactful cards. Flavorwise it's a complete and utter fail.

Scorched Earth no Jutsu!

>it's actually a phyrexia expansion in disguise
>phyrexia is secretly invading and taking over

The flavor is solid, actually. It's an eldritch horror from beyond space and time. Everyone's just upset because said eldritch horror has been established as something that is easily dealt with and very much understandable, as shown in the previous block.

If BFZ and OGW (and their associated lore) didn't exist, SOI/EMN would be the best sets in YEARS.

I dunno, despite emrakul being a terribly predictable "twist" the body horror/turning people into eldrazi asthetic is super badass and horrifying, doing good work with a lame premise.

What was your face when you read this?

>inb4 Obliterate reprint with Tamiyo flavor text

mfw

Nah. The second set is aether revolt. I'm pretty sure we're getting oppressed poo in loos in set one followed by a rebellion.

I think it still would have been fine if kozilek just never got involved in the last block. Ulamog alone took all the gatewatch had to deal with, nearly gave nissa an aneurism and was a horrible experience all around, now there are two more, what could possibly be the toll of each of them?? would be a worthwhile setup. eldrazi can be dealt with, but jesus christ the cost. the fact that the gatewatch got a twofer on short notice is what hugely diminished them IMO.

From what we gleamed, one of those scroll is Serra's Realm end.

Which is either Armageddon or something even more destructive

I just hate the idea of reusing Jacetice League and Eldrazi's two sets in a row. Newmrakul being a shitty card doesn't really help, too.

The whole "mystery" and "clues" stuff where Wizards wanted us to believe they're actually competent and were just rusing us by pretenting it was Emrakul and not someone else was pretty retarded to swallow.

>Nissa's face: When gisela fags read that their waifu was dead
>Gideon's face: When reading Jace reading emrakuls mind
>Chandra's face: When first seeing emrakul reveled card

>gideon's limbs all restrained
>chandra strangled
>nissa given a gentle back rub
emrakul remembers.

jesus christ when will it stop....

>one of those scroll is Serra's Realm end
OH SHIT
Where was this detailed? Fuck, how old is Tamiyo?

On her fight with Avacynn, Jace was mind linked with her, and saw that one of the scroll could end the fight in that exact moment, taking care of both Avacynn and the above flock of angels.

Tamijo however kind of inherited those scrolls, and refused to use them, even at the cost of Jace's life

the one where acacyn crashed the party, before sorin showed up. tamiyo used her story magic, mind melded with jace, and he said she should use that one iron bound angel story anout the end of a plane

>Tamijo however kind of inherited those scrolls, and refused to use them, even at the cost of Jace's life
To be perfectly fair, I wouldn't spare a 2 mana removal spell to save Jace's life, never mind an apocalyptic board wipe.

twitter.com/MelissaDeTora/status/744916247607812096

FUCK

That means Gaby will be around for YEARS. I mean if you gotta include a womyn in your roster due to PR stuff, at least use ones that are actually skilled, like Jadine Clomparens, Meowthod and so on.

>>In the vast Multiverse, only you and some other chucklefucks know of the countless worlds beyond your own.
But fuck it let's just hang around the same 4 planes for four years

>Sigarda 2.0 prevents Newrakul trigger from going off on you
F L A V O R
L
A
V
O
R

You can get emrakul in a set without destroyin half the waifus of innistrad wizards. thanks for nothing

It makes sense. Planes have to be 'found' so imagine that before you saw the beacon to Fuckedstrad you were floating for (perceived) months in the blind eternities. You would spend most of your life going back and forth between the ones you know.

>Jin starts dropping specs of Phyrexian tech all over the plane
>Artificers begin using it in their designs
>Shit begins to go down
>Artificers try using their new toys to fight Phyrexia only to find out they obey their invaders
>mfw

>You are a planeswalker'mrakul.
FTFY

So'mrakul, how'mrakul many'mrakul of'mrakul you'mrakul are'mrakul going'mrakul to'mrakul go'mrakul to'mrakul the'mrakul prerelease'mrakul?

I'll go, but I will probably skip 2HG. Although it's a great value at my LGS (25 for Sealed, 40 for both sealed and 2HG, both events with 1 booster per person for prizes AND some additional boosters for top 4-6), 2HG is just not fun for me.

Cool'mrakul

YOU'RE'MRAKUL, HE'MRAKUL, I'MRAKUL, ANY OTHER EMRAKULS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

Lore/Story Thread for the next Magic set HERE

Meow'rakul.

The only way this story will be salvaged is if they capture Emrakul in the silver moon and leave her there for a while.

Then, when the time comes to face the phyrexians, they planeswalk the moon with Emrakul in it (since silver can be sent across planes), and crack it open to force a phyrexian vs eldrazi ultimatum.

Then the phyrexians, failing to defeat emrakul, instead complete the silver moon, turning it into a giant, dripping lunar sphere of oil, and use it to escape the doomed new phyrexia while searching for another world to compleat.

We're all 'mrakuls around here, sir!

Nah, the flavor fail was pulling ROE out of the ass crack of Zendikar for no good reason.

This shit fits Innistrad so much better that all the fucks I stopped giving about Zendikar after ROE have flooded straight into Innistrad as of SoI.

You're gonna need a hell of a burn spell

Based Wizards BTFO autistic waifufags.

Just based.

makes too much sense, wizards will never think of it.

No, that was just you being so much of an autistic retard that you still spouted retarded shit about "muh marit lage, muh phyrexia" even when everybody non-retarded knew it was Emrakul.

>Nahiri sees the damage she's done and apologizes to Sorin
>Sorin accepts the apology still in shock, while the gatewatch kill Emrakul in the background
>Sorin and Nahiri kiss while Emrakul dies and the shockwave kills every monster in Innistrad and revives every human because friendship

Just wait and see

that's better than anything wotc has written in years

What was the point of Wizards making weekly articles about the suspect and making blatant remarks about Emrakul in every single one of them? They were acting like we are complete retards, and since I HAD a little faith in them I just assumed the were rusing us. Woe is me, Wizards really are that incompetent.

And then out of nowhere Urabrask punches the fuck out of everyone while screaming something about laws of the wild.

TFW this:
is more likely than this:

>we'll never get a compleated silver moon plane ship that the eldrazi take straight to Dominaria so they can locate Urborg

How is Dominaria doing these days? Has it begun to recover from being annihilated by the war?

>Woo an extra UR, wonder wha-
>by Kimberly J. Kreines

God damn it.

It's had around sixty years to recover after the Mending took place.

It's probably post-apocalyptic, on the verge of being post-post-apocalyptic.

Enjoy'mrakul :^)

Getting better, which means an apocalypse is just around the corner

The Prodigal Sorcerer story was higher "order" than post apocalyptic. There was nobility, commerce and a Tolaria West that had existed for at least a generation.

~~(I)~~

Post-post-apocalyptic then.

did you enjoy the completely necessary lesbians user?

Don't say no or you're a bigot!

>Jacetice league will probably die in a car accident.

God damn it, why did they give Kim a pivotal UR.

TO BE FAIR, that's probably a collective decision from the creative team rather than Kim, and we'll (unfortunately) be seeing more of it from other authors.

I'd have been equally annoyed with the love trumps all bullshit if it had been a man and woman.

Is it just me or does there seem to be no actual eldrazi other than emrakul? Maybe a noob question and all the eldrszi on zendikar were just twisted versions of what's already there, but everything revealed today seems to just be corrupted versions of things that already existed on the plane.

Even emrakul has no devoid or annihilator.

>And Gideon with his broad shoulders and ready smile, and—

Those lesbians weren't the only gay couple here.

Emrakul is quite devoid, user.

>I'd have been equally annoyed with the love trumps all bullshit if it had been a man and woman.

true, but making them lesbians in an 18th century-based setting makes it extra jarring

Kozilek and Ulamog both harvest the land of the planes they come across and use it to pump out their brood.
Emrakul is different. She warps the living creatures of the planes she comes across and eventually twists them into her brood instead.

Jace confirmed as gay

>And and and
that's some quality writing

What the fuck

DESIGNATED

This is just the reveal, we might see some brood later. Or perhaps her brood consists mostly of corrupted flesh?

And the new Ula and Koz didn't have annihilator or devoid either.

So is there going to be another UR this Wednesday?

POO in the LOO

So are they gonna take down Emmy or are they gonna just fuck off after realizing Innistrad is doomed?

either way you're going to be disappointed

So why the fuck did Bolas release the Eldrazi? This just seems like they're gonna either retcon that Bolas did it, or make up a really stupid/nonsense reason.

>pivotal
but nothing happened

Porn when?

this is the saddest, truest evaluation of the current story. either the eldrazi are a wash, and it turns out were actually a laughable interplanar threat, great job wotc, or innistrad gets wrecked, we lose an interesting setting that players like and liked returning to (in general, the eldrazi and jace strained things), and that would be a permanent loss, not a mirrodin is now new phyrexia, all your nice things are compleat type loss.

The final battle is about to begin.
Emmy slowly approaches the jacetice league, ready to finish them off for good.
Falls in an open grave.
Tragic slip was there when we needed it most.
Never forget.