The Official MTG Snowstorm/Lore Thread

>I'mrakul

I almost forgot the stupidest thing of all. I hope I am not the only one who read me'mrakul as memerakul the first time.
Just can't block warriors, that's all!

I most certainly did read it as memerakul. If I wasn't already crying I'd probably have laughed.

Red

Very, very red.

Blue/Red, splash black probs

I swear there are so many dumb things in just the first article about the new expansion, I don't know where to start. Like seriously wizard, even when you cater to my fetishes you can't do one thing right.

I don't even care. I just want Nu'mrakul so I can have all three of the Newdrazi and slap them into a big beefy bois EDH deck

Right now the only thing that sums me up is this card.

Body horror is not my thing at all. I still feel sick and I'm pretty sure I will be seeing that thing in my dreams.

Big boys don't play EDH man.
Now place your bet people. WIll Mememrakul die to a lot of fire like his/her/its brethern, a lot of zombies, a lof of clues(?), or green flying-targeted removal?
Talking about Gisela and Bruna's new clothes?

I want to say she's thrown into the moon, but more than likely, Liliana is gonna cast Damnation
It's a sorcery, so lmao no protection

I most certainly am. If I never see it again it'll be too soon but that's some wishful thinking. I hope they're okay by the end of this, I really do.

On the bright side, I'm not longer sad about Avacyn.

Hope sigarda doesn't fuck up her next trick. Though I think they are going to completely forget about her, it'll be funny to see her show up with some anti-memerakul ability.
>throw into the moon
This is not Gurren Lagann, though I hope it was.

Sigarda's gonna lead the uncorrupted angels and kick ass while keeping unmutated humans safe
But what I really want to know is if Ormendahl will make an alliance with the forces of good in order to not get his demonic shit kicked in

>Uncorrupted angels
So.... Just her then?

I most certainly laughed.

I laughed because it's funny.

I cried because it's canon.

mfw there are flakes better than this.

and bitching about it is fun

You know, I could tolerate this set if it meant a Damnation reprint.

I laughed a little.

Also I'm waiting on a reply from you, it's important.

Its not even confirmed that she is uncorrupted. I dont want to be a huge spoil sport about it but it really seems like they just decided that this time angels are just eldrazi mooks. If Siggie is not going to be a mutant, she is not going to be in any shape to fight anyway.

Idk, her effect directly counters Emrakul by making the player hexproof, I think that's reason enough to suggest she's going to do something.

Then again when Avacyn went mad she vowed to do something and did precisely nothing and now we're in this mess. Sigarda a shit.

>mfw I read that article

That latest article was great.

Anyone who disagrees is a neighsayer.

>new Sigarda protects you and the people of Innistrad from Emrakul's influence

This is probably one of the best flavor connections we've had in a while.

When I first said flakes are better than the mainstream mtg plot, you called me mad! MAD! Who's mad now?
That's a new record that article marked. Fastest memes ever.

Just about the only good thing to come out of it.

What was your face when you finished reading it?

Same as Murdock's face in this card . A mixture of hostile resignation and barely contained hate

Honestly what bothers me most is how they dropped this. Gisela and Bruna become an abomination seems like something to dedicate a bit more of time to, they are pretty damn important characters as far as Innistrad is concerned. It just feels so wrong to me that they did this.

They're really not. They're about as important as Sidisi in Tarkir or Mogis in Theros. Yes, they're important to the setting but not to the story. In fact, they're almost irrelevant in the scheme of the story and have had very little time and effort dedicated to their purpose in the setting, even back in the original Innistrad block.

You just attached yourself to powerful cards with aesthetically pleasing art and with, before SoI, almost no lore.

That's what I mean though, they're important to the setting, extremely so. Just being like 'well they're gone now' is a pretty lame way to establish that two of the remaining powerful angels are now an abomination bound to Emrakul. They got less writing than random non-characters even.

Important to the setting, not to the story.

Yo. I replied.

Likewise.

It seems like such a lazy way to avoid having to do new cards for them, or more likely one new card for the both of them that will make me spit blood.

So I'm also choosing to live in denial. Bruna and Gisela live safely in Mirabelle's bottled demiplane now. Emrakul just named some glob of itself after them to try and scare the humans.

>Emrakul just named some glob of itself after them to try and scare the humans.

R-Right... They're okay, Memerakul is just pranking us. Heh....Heheh...

Set name is Eldritch Moon

Emrakul came from the sea

So what is in the moon

Marit Lage vs. Emrakul kaiju fight when?

When the flakes committee takes control of the R&D in a bold action and starts fiddling with the papers on MaRo's desk. Accidentally resulting also in Venser and Garruk becoming the same person, Return to Kamigawa happening, and Fallen Empires becoming the most popular setting ever.

They seal Emrakul in the Moon, turning it into an Eldritch Moon.

The enteral infinity—this world is mine.

The absolute—I shall have all.

The beginning—I shall be all.

The being—all are'mrakul.

The end.

The end.

The end.
What do yall think of this? Assuming Enteral isn't a typo of course. Maybe there's something more 'mrakul.

I keep on feeling like this is not the thought process of something that's supposed to be only barely cognizant of sentient life because of how insignificantly tiny we are compared to it. It was the same with Kozilek.

>Are'mrakul
>More'mrakul
>MaRo'mrakul
It was a meme even before beign published!
Eldrazi drones are not well known for their cunning mental processes, but some of them seem to be able to put words one after the other. Granted it is all "We are'mrakul, kneel before our great lord/lady/whatever" but that's the best we get.

Yeah, but that is fairly hard to write for. Maybe Em recognizes Jace because of the Spark or something
What I want to know is how did Ugin learn their names, he must have learned the term somewhere and that would make a neat story.
maybe he consulted Guff's library

Okay guys. I need to write something for this but I can't think of how to have Serena find this out and not just have a complete breakdown.

Any suggestions? The best I have right now is that she becomes really fucking mad, like Angerfish levels of angry.

Yeah, this sorta seems like a level of grief and violation where only overpowering, reason-annihilating rage keeps the soul from collapsing under it.

You can't be commanded, frightened, or paralyzed with grief because you're so fucking ANGRY for anything else to have room.

The PTSD will hit like a brick eventually, though.

Or if you have a qtp2t huntress at your side.
Anyway, The Cathar will probably snap in rage mode because if his bunny survived this long it will most likely be a horrific monster.
And to think, before this story I was going to have him find his rabbit and fuck off to another part of the world, asking Serena to come with him.

I figured as much. Unless something really great happens she's going to be a wreck after this block. She's going to be W/R now for sure though. Things are gonna burn.

Shame. That would have been cute.

That's a good point.

Had they merely held hands and kissed as their artificial hearts no doubt shyly contemplated but never dared act on, Gisela and Avacyn might still be with us today.

The simplest thing is, of course, to wait for the story to play out, and figure it out from there. Perhaps she's doing stuff off-plane during the time Emms is fucking up Innistrad, and returns to devastation and the resulting grief (maybe if I'd been here...)...or if innistrad dies, can't return at all and tries to figure out WHY

If he lives, he might still ask her to leave Innistrad with him because it's fucked.
Then she refuses because of her duty and his next jump takes him to yet another hell.

Pretty sure the way emrakul works is a hive mind thing. So all of them are emrakul, you must become one, join us.

Unfortunately she's already confirmed to be on the plane post Avacyn's death, there's no reason she'd have left between then and Emracool showing up to start grooving all over the plane.

>tfw Serena will never make The Cathar soup to cure him of injuries.
Emrakul ruins everything.

Pretty much from the start, my concerns have always been with what's in the moon and who the raven man is.

>Serena can feel the pressure coming in at all sides
>The Cathar puts his hand on her should and shakes her to jar her out of it.
>She asks him how he's not going insane
>He takes off his mask and gives it to her, saying only one word
>Rage

I expected him to reference The Avengers then, I'd have been mad IRL.

>then they lean in and kiss

The hulk line? I thought about it, but that would be dumb.

Phyrexia will come out
tomorrow
Bet your heartstone that
tomorrow
all will be one.

Just thinkin' about
Phyresis
It'll wipe away all the flesh
and weakness
'til there's none!

When I'm stuck on a plane
that's gray
and fleshy
I just flay some skin
and grin
and sayyyyy

Phyrexia will come out
tomorrow
so you gotta flay on til
tomorrow
come what may!

Tomorrow
Tomorrow
I'll compleat ya
tomorrow
It's only a daaaay aaawaaay!

Tomorrow
Tomorrow
I'll compleat ya
tomorrow
It's only a
DAAAAY
AAAAA
WAYYYYY

If only.

I'd take Phyrexia over Memerakul any day.

Only Phyrexia can save us from this memery.

>Serena summons Phyrexia to deal with Emmy
A preferable end.

Daily reminder that Phyrexia did body horror first, did unknowable abominations first, did the Great Work first, did the All Will Be One first, and did it all better.

youtube.com/watch?v=o7ixdHQj3O4

>The Cathar witnesses her summoning Phyrexia
and that's how Serena got a mattock in the back.

It's kind of different than New Phyrexia
the Phyrexians forcibly converted
I kind of got the mental image of people who are lost and without hope, the downtrodden and depressed throwing themselves at Emrakul, embracing the oneness that is promised to them.
All the pain, all the loss, and confusion, all nothing to the glory that is emrakul.

Well I think The Cathar only won because Serena hesitated several times. I think Ragerena might actually be able to kill him.

>Select all pictures with soup
tfw

Curious about this idea I'd been mulling about for a planewalker for the longest of times. Wanted an opinion on it.

>Blacksmith's son on Innistrad.
>Devout member of the Goldnight
>Has to deal with the shit going on nightly.
>Suddenly Thraben falls, he joins the fight.
>Nearly dies. Suddenly Hellvault opens; Gisela ends up saving him.
>Becomes unhealthily infatuated with her, but as a result his passion shows up in his smithing, creating great works of art in Gisela's name.
>SoI happens. He's in denial that Gisela is involved.
> Sees this media.wizards.com/2016/images/daily/c4rd4r7_3ubNi4n6aj.jpg
>Loses all hope.
>Spark Ignites, ends up in Ravnica.
>Sees Angels in Boros legion. New hope given.
>Swears to put Gisela to rest at any cost.

Too weird?

Lets just hope that she doesn't go insane and do that
Or she might just start preaching the blessings of the machine orthodoxy

I see nothing wrong with this.

It doesn't help that I started playing magic because I fell in love with Phyrexia early. They remind me why I loved the flavor. So delicious. So perfect. I loved them before I loved angels.

I can empathize
I started playing because a friend taught me, but I fell in love with new slivers

I can dig it, he and Serena can be massively upset together. No surprises here but as a Goldnight she liked Gisela a lot, almost as much as Avacyn.

Still a better fate than what happened to the sisters.

>Still a better fate than what happened to the sisters.
>even slightly implying Phyrexia is anything less than perfection

Man, at least when Phyrexia does body horror it actually looks cool.

Emrakul's just looks...sloppy by comparison.

Venn swears by his blade that he Gisela's funeral pyre would be seen from all over Innistrad. He's that dead set on burning the abomination that was once her.

He's gonna be casting a really big Banefire.

>It doesn’t think. It doesn’t feel. It doesn’t laugh or cry. All it does from dusk till dawn Is make the soldiers die.

Because it is a sloppy and horrific transformation.
>Not casting obliterate
>Not making a funeral pyre of Thraben.

I think right now, Serena could provide the fire. Quite the fiery temper you might say.

>Using inferior art.

>Obliterate
>Turning Thraben into the pyre.

Now you're thinking with fire. That's better than what I had in mind

Could be interesting. Serena comes across Venn as he's about to be proliferated by Brunesela's tentacles, sees him planeswalk away, and follows him. Make a nice mentor-student kinda thing.

Anyway. Bed time. Hopefully I won't be seeing Brusella in my dreams, the closest I've had to an Innistrad dream was one where I was Avacyn and I walked into a Post Office, saw Thalia and then ran up and punched her out. I think I kept the moonsilver spear in the post office or something, I mean where else would you put it?

My dreams are fucking dumb.

>Implying any art for Phyrexian hulk is inferior

>He has an erection.

You mean you don't?

A shame the Nornfaggots have basically ruined the Great Work for everyone who liked Phyrexia in any form
Especially for those who've liked it since the Ineffable was in charge and Mirrodin wasn't a thing yet.

There's only one qt who gets my fire going

She really does look better when her hair's not lit. It's a shame that most card art doesn't depict her that way.

>The faithful remember

I've been a Chandraphile since Lorwyn. I'm ashamed of myself.

What sort of face is she making here?

She really is adorable.

Wow, that is not a good shot of her. I guess they can't all be winners, and they are in the midst of being attacked by Zombie'mrakul.

The same face I make while trying to read a Kimberly Kreines article.

Okay so I wrote up Venn's profile... where do I post it?

Here. Unless it's lewd. Then pastebin and link it here.

The same face she's making here.