Gm attempts to railroad the PCs into having drunk sex with bar maids

Developed a little over years I'm guessing?

>Playing as a group of vampires
>kill some plebs guarding a carriage
>I jump on the carriage and take control
>others stay back and deal with the guard
>Suddenly a massive goblin invasion turns up
>My Buddies play dead in a ditch, I'm 300m down the road trying to stop the carriage (needed to roll a 20 for ride check)
>Goblins start looting my buddies, and eventually find out they're undead
>My Buddies are conscripted into the goblin army, and the whole thing is about to pillage a nearby city
>Looks like we're on the side of evil creatures yet again!
>Meanwhile I gain control of the carriage, its full of gold and I stash it in the forest ahead of the main goblin horde. I cast Messaging and keep in touch with my buddies, We'll meet up on the other side of the wrecked town, maybe I can buy their freedom with all this gold...

I love when we get the opportunity to terrorize innocent civilians. Time to destroy an entire town with the help of a massive goblin horde (Armed with muskets and pistols and riding wolves I might add)

This is why the Red Rule exists in Exalted.

And should exist in all the other systems too.

Honestly, I wasn't even aware that ERPing at the table was a thing until I read Veeky Forums horror stories about it.

It is just so incredibly bizarre and crass and removed from even the most basic notions of sociality

>frogposting

>Don't have time for women, I'm too busy!

"Adonis among halflings," or Hobbit Tesla?

What are the barmaids like?

Yeah nah. Sexual encounters should be forewarned before the game starts. Anyone not comfortable with that can move on.
If your PC is on the trail of the "Evil Rape Bandits", don't be surprised if you get captured and raped, evilly.

Personally, I try to avoid sexual encounters because even when the PCs are the consenting initiators it ends up being handled poorly.
I'm not against them. They just usually add nothing.

It happens so rarely, it's not an issue. Stories on Veeky Forums are the exception to ttrpgs not the norm.

>gm attempts to railroad the PCs into having drunk sex with bar maids
>he has to railroad them into doing this

It means that the players have some common sense. Which is amazing in and of itself.

>take bar wench to bedroom
>make sure bed is in clear view of door
>doggystyle wench facing said door
>keep one hand on her hips and other on my axe
>safesex.gif

You're playing halfling Nikola Tesla.

Midget fetish.

You mean midget fetish.

>tfw the doors are locked
>Tfw the dm is the real BBC

Ftfy

If there is ever an NPC trying to have sex with your character it's always one of two things:

1) He/She's trying to kill you
2) He/She trying to rob you

If the DM is the one instigating it that's when things get iffy

>these aren't my glasses

I never sexualize my characters and feel uncomfortable when anyone does.

>not making sexy old men

Gave my char a yandere assassin wife, so all's well that ends well.

That's just short people you knob.

Short stack is thicc in a convenient easy to carry package

Doesn't mean I want to sit there while you describe the other PC being raped, fucking faggot

2bh I just pass around a laptop with an [Oyster] publication loaded up. It's a very ideal solution to the problem.

Almost had this happen recently, made the will save on account of being a cleric. She wasn't a bad-looking dwarf, I just didn't want to cheat on my aasimar waifu.

And now there's a vampiress after me too. Why does everyone want the holy minotaur d?

>[Oyster] publication
Please explain.

They want you to get lost in their labyrinth user. You know better, you're a minotaur. Stay strong my dude

not him, but pic related doesn't end after the sex slaves has his legs amputated.

>very ideal solution to the problem
of having a group, sure.

>give players fair warning, there will be sexual encounters
>gets mad when a PC has a sexual encounter

Retard.

>ERPs at the table

Bitchass faggot

>Not Old Snake and Liquid Ocelot in MGS4
>Not Joseph Joestar

If it's not something you want to be a part of, then don't join a game, knowing ERP is prevalent.

It's simple.

I wouldn't.

ERPing with a bunch of NEET faggots must be one of The saddest things of this world. Not to mention gayest.

>GM's literally never pull shit like this in my games.
>Everything is great.

You guys need some better friends.

Yeah, I skimmed through that one, it gets pretty bad.

Oh hey, my GMs also don't.

High five!

Five points for Gryffindor.

Then why respond to an arguement that started with:
>I don't want to be at a table indulging in ERP. Despite being warned it would happen and willfully joining said table.

I was part of a group that had a 8/10 sperg cosplay girl in it. She was dating the DM and kept trying to get him to let her character do ERP with other PCs

She didn't understand what was wrong with that

Because he's a retard, that's why.

Read the fucking op you illiterate Faggot

Where the fuck does he say that he warned his players there would be ERP?

Avoid playing with inbred faggots like and , is all I will say to that.

This guy is responding to this guy. The rest follows...

Thats the arguement that started this. Not OP. Learn to read dipshit.

that picture all features characters from the same show, user.
maybe you should watch game of thrones sometime. Normie culture surrounding it aside, it does provide a good example of common roleplaying failures, and how to do Paladins right.
>why would I give an assassin my own dagger? This isn't evidence against me, only proof that I am being framed.

>have party of straight characters, except for one gay cleric
>thinking of putting a mini-BBEG with a love spell that has an insanely high spell save in their path
>only one immune to it is the Cleric
>Cleric must embark upon quest to save party or let them be raped to death in Succubus's dungeon

...

As far as that goes, I thought you were because of your same level of brain damage.

because he thinks that magical realming it up and making the game not fun for the players is fine and you because you are a sad fuck who likes to ERP.

inb4 DON'T LIKE WHAT I DON'T LIKE

>he likes to fictitiously make love to another neet neckbeard

>making love to a neckbeard
>not wanting to lick his feet instead

>Run a game where ERP is an element.
>Warn players ahead of time.
According to you, this is brain damage.

>Ignore the warning and sit at a table where ERP is a thing.
>Whine about ERP in your game.
According to you, this is not brain damage.

user, please take your fucking medication before posting again.

He' probably just (correctly) implying that people who would erp at all have brain damage.

And why that's a problem? No one is trying to fuck his fat ass, they are playing their own games on their own houses, far far away from autist-kun.

I dunno, this whole argument seems pretty shit from both sides.

Because dipshits like that won't stop at their house, they'll try to infect other games with their bullshit and get pissy when they're told that a futa elf gimp with a masochism streak isn't appropriate for the campaign.

Besides, if you're going to roleplay sexual encounters, do it with a fucking female you sperg!

>conjecture

...

>gm attempts to railroad the PCs into having drunk sex with bar maids
>attempt a will save to ignore them
>fail spectacularly
>I snatch the dice from his hand, and roll before he can react. I look at him, dead center in the eyes. I proceed to Roleplay each every action my Character does, with specific details, such as how many times I cum into her nose, what my feet taste like to her as I force her to lick them, and how many times she brakes down into tears. I do all this with out a flinch, and in the most deadpan voice possible, all while looking into the gm's eyes. When it is done, I lean back, and tell him that I fade to black
>Tfw they don't let me play blackguard anymore

...

>PCs joked about banging bar sluts, so the GM went with it
>PCs got their asses drunk, warranting Will Saves against the eager ladies of the evening
>GM was going to describe the PCs being led to their rooms, then fade to black, before they wake, hung-over but otherwise fine the next morning
>this faggot spergs out and hate fucks the GM's eyeballs
>mfw GM kicks him for ERPing

>player always wants to sleep with wenches whenever he's in town
>just roll Sex Appeal to see if he can find one, or two if he critically succeeds, and get back to the game ASAP
>one time he critically fails, so I say the wench was actually a succubus and have him try to survive a few rounds of combat without equipment until the rest of the party can come and save him
>he accuses me of inserting my fetish into the game even though I never described any sexual acts succubi are my fetish though

Was I in the wrong?

>Start very first DND game a few weeks ago
>GM describes barmaid
>"I roll to bang"
>nat 20
>GM decides to fuck with me and makes me roll to see if I knocked her up
>I didn't

Based on the information you provided, no. Then again, you're here for self-justification.

>critically fails a "find a wench" roll
>finds a succubus
>not finding a former wench who holds him at knife point, demanding child support
>not giving him "Rot Crotch" and risk an army of scabby whores wanting his head for spreading it around in the coming months
>not, not finding a wench...anywhere...at all

You could've gone a different way.
Did he redeem her?

Hey richard, hows the wife?

I feel like having a succubus successfully embedded in a town's wench would be too big a deal to be added by random dice roll. Like, you think there'd have been at least a couple disappearances that got the town talking.

Transparently a slanneshi trap

>sexy old men
>Varys
>bald, paunchy eunuch Varys

>she

Holy shit

I never thought I would see the day of a girl ERP

>Literally thousands of erotic fantasy light novels have been published for decades that primarily woman read
>"Woman erp?"
It's like you think they're robots

I used to have a player of mine always want to bang every girl he saw, from wenches to royal duchesses; especially if they were in a new town (which for even for PCs, was extremely often).

Me, being a bit sick and tired of his goblin fighter doing this ALL THE TIME, decided to make an adventure out of it.

>players arrive to a hodump small ass town, not many people know about it, but the PCs are sent to avoid being lynched for earlier shenanigans
>upon arrival they discover why it's a small ass town
>monstrous humanoids everywhere: minotaurs, ogres,driders, harpies, lamias, maraliths, the works.
>all shapes and sizes, a good mix of men and women gathered in this small town to form a sanctuary for monstrous humanoids
>PCs go to ask bartender of local pub what the hell this is all about
>Drider bartender goes to explain that this town was abandoned many years ago and several monsters decided to live here, an Eden for them.
>Meanwhile, goblin fighter scopes out the place
> finds an attractive red-headed human woman standing in the bar, sticks out like a sore thumb compared to all the other monsters surrounding her
>This was the first red flag
>He goes up to her, talks her up about doing certain activities
>Even with a poor CHA roll, she still goes along with it
>this was the second red flag
>Activities ensue, and just before we fade to black, I ask for a d20 roll after the usual Endurance/Charisma roll
>Goblin player shits himself in realization
>The other players found him barely alive, his will tanked to shit.
>They eventually tracked down the succubus in a magical tower, recovering the pieces of the goblin fighter's soul
>Ends in the Warforged Warden slam dunking the succubus through 70ft of floors to her demise.

And from that day forth, the Goblin fighter learnt his lesson, and all was well.

ERP is primarily women, and even then it's rare.

The sweaty, virgin, neckbeard breaking into a sex soliloquy at the table is a Veeky Forums meme.

I don't think they're robots, I know that written smut by women exist, I am just surprised that they would be in something like an ERP (which is probably a more personal experience than simply writing a book)

I'm figuring it's rare, girls doing Veeky Forums stuff is an extremely uncommon thing in the first place, so there's that too.

You done did good.
The deviant got some action, it was fade to black.
The deviant got a lesson, he could have seen it coming and it eventually worked out.
You made a monsterfolk town, it didn't bring your adventures to a halt.
All of the usual pitfalls and you skirted the edge masterfully.

Thanks man, I'm honored to hear that. Looking back, I don't know how I pulled all this off, but I'm glad it worked out.

When a player wants to have his character bang something i go with it as if it was regular conversation. Have him rolled a few times on persuasion and stuff.
Now the moment the are going upstairs i go Tyson Hard Line and be liek:
>you guys get in the room and close the door.
>after a bit of foreplay you guys have sex.
>*1d10 get a 6*
>it was okay.
>NEXT MORNING, THE REST OF THE PARTY IS blah blah blah...
And cut it right there and then. No room for "did i blew her brains?, does he have sexy body?, what color are it's fin?" nope. no no no no no.
You guys fucked and that's the end of it, moving on.
>"Did i rike it?"
MOVING ON.

why would a sexual preference give him immunity to a spell. I assume you could cast a spell on a straight person to make them suck a dick, why not on a gay one to force a clam on them?

While I disagree with the GM's actions, if your character has several bastards it's not like they were pure and chaste at all times... maybe they think this is what your character wants.

You're posting a frog too. You need to out yourself once you've defeated all of them.

Why are you talking about clams? Gay people can like clams

>consecutive-20 my way into a threesome
>have to bust out the grappling rules

>Going OOC and breaking immersion for such a nothing encounter

If you've been on ERP sites like Elliquiy you would've known for years that women are the biggest consumers of smut writing out there.

Kinky interests too, mostly rough sex and beasts.

No no no. Short but busty.
Short yet Stacked. Thus Short stack.

Honestly I prefer short and cute, people making their Halflings hyper-voluptuous all the time is getting dry and dull.

>make a female character
>never done it before but I'm expanding my horizons and I had a really good character concept I wanted to try that I though would add a good dynamic to the game
>Everyone else makes male characters
>they all try to waifu my character
>didn't even make her attractive

>that image
Literally my morning routine.

I think it has to do with the medium. Most guys who attempt ERP probably do so at a game session or online through instant messaging. Once the medium changes to play-by-post or e-mail a lot more women show up. Sites like Elliquiy are more cooperative romance novel writing than dice rolling role playing.