Dwarf appreciation thread

my ax is so sharp right now

Noice

anyone got dwarven cheesecake?

I got one.

Also the duplicate image posting thing seems to be confined to "within the same thread" now

I'd imagine the ideal dwarven woman would be like a cheesecake: thick, rich and tasty

I like to imagine dwarves as fond of meat. Mainly jerky and salted meat.

>RPG
Meh.
>based on a novel
Neat.

Oh, sweet, i never thought dwarves could that be attractive

Oooh bby

youtube.com/watch?v=rvJsG4F2Img

Yeah that seems reasonable, given how dwarves usually are, and that they'd likely need to store food for long periods

I recall a conversation from a comment section some time, where one guy was talking about british food: they mentioned that it was heavy, and in particular was greasy as fuck. They then went on to say that while this might be counted against it, given the way brits drink and how good the food was for hangovers it made sense.
This seems eminently dwarfish to me. Also amusing, given that I'm a bong.
My personal fondness for Irn Bru as a hangover cure means I'd possibly include it as a dwarf soft drink in a setting.

I'd also imagine that something like cornish pasties, given their origins as mine-worker food (there's a crust that you hold so you don't get coal dust on your food) might be seen, at least for day-to-day food

>I'm a bong
And I'm French, therefore fuck you britbong.

Fair enough, likewise, naturally.

I recall once someone saying dwarves are a bit french - they only have two tactics: dig in and zerg rush.

Alright, listen to me you, you backstabbing poorfag piece of shit. If you go any further with your piss-stained implications about my people being bearded drunkards, I'm going to wreck your ass so hard you'll pass out the moment anything grazes your butt. I'll shove my hand up your ass so far you'll feel my fingers on your tongue, and then I'll grab and pull everything out until you look like a Chaos spawn.

Is this dwarfen humor? Kinda lame.

Easily offended and wants to fondle my arse?
Definitely french.

But I think we should ease up on the eurobanter, especially given what's happening today, lest we attract the /pol/

>Easily offended and wants to fondle my arse?
>Definitely french.
I WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE.

Here ya go

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I think I puked a bit in my mouth.

Id hit it

It could be worse

Let me regale you stout ones, a tale of a dwarf of no compare. Greatest among all below the earth or under the sky.

The tale of Kosoth Swordshafts, the Key of Honoring.

Hero of the Battle of Blacktoad, Defender of Autmnash. Hammer of Goblins, Bulwark of Stone,Lover of Billon , and reluctant leader of his people.

Autmnash was not going well. One of my miners had been killed by a giant fucking canary in the first season. My first migrant wave had been a peasant couple and their child. Work was behind schedule, I had to choose between enough booze to drink or food to eat. The Third wave of migrants was kind of OK. Four laborers and to my surprise, a speardwarf. I thenk checked his kill page.

FIVE-THOUSAND-TWO-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-THREE GOBLINS. TWO TROLLS. A GIANT COUGAR. MANY MANY FUCKING WOODLAND CREATURES.

An avatar of destruction, and a salvation of fun had arrived. All worries of booze shortage forgotten, my dwarves set themselves to forging my new militia commander a set of steel armor to wear into battle. By the time he had a helmet, spear and shield a goblin ambush attacked. Luckily my carpenter got away unscathed, but it was only time until they entered the fort. Fuck it, send it Kosoth. He then proceeded to kill the fuck out of four goblins, braining them each time with one, precise stab. Kosoth then proceeded to handle everything solo for an entire year. My first siege happened. Kosoth DID go into battle with a squad that time, not that he needed it. He one shot the leader and the siege broke instantly. Kosoth and the Key Guard(squad name) eventually got equipped with adamantine. The killed Colossi, Forgotten Beasts, Titans, many, many goblins.

How did he die, you ask? In the dwarfiest fashion known to man. A giant fire-breathing copper scorpion attacked from below, I instantly tasked the key guard to attack, Kosoth got there first. Kosoth, in true fashion, brought it down an three hits. He then died.

By amrok the bloody, tell me you got his legends engraved
and statue-chiseled

Checking the combat log, he a neglected to bring a shield into battle. Opting instead for a casque of rum which exploded in his face because of the fire.

I like to think he ascended into the heavens to become a patron saint of dwarfs. I constucted him a solid billon tomb, inside a two layer high key carved from the earth. All my dwarfs from then, it seems like, from then on carved only images of his exploits.

I lost the save, but may his legend live on.

I literally dedicated my fort to his grace. I made sure everything was fucking billon, he had a bedroom worth more than the rest of the bedrooms combined. I had statues made until I had enough of him and made the entrance hall a statuary of nothing but him.

Basically Aladeen from the Dictator movie?

I want sci-fi dwarves with lasers weaponries.

>Easily offended and wants to fondle my arse?
Definitely french.

fucking kek

got a source on that?

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>dragon age: dwarves edition
holy shit
yes

Sheeeeit I read the first book of that.

youtube.com/watch?v=R1gF0uhHsqk

Who /beard/ here

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I always imagine British and French like Space Wolves and Dark Angels, with the whole ritual enmity thing.

For those of you who saw the warcraft movie, what did you think of the few short scenes with the dwarfs of ironforge?

I loved them. I wish there was more, but I understood that the dwarves really don't play a bigger role until later in the storyline. I was just thrilled we got a taste of them.

they were cool. wish all the race traitor diversity garona shit was replaced with badass dwarves or something

I wish someone made a decent looking flushed out line of plastic miniatures. I'd be all over it. I love the salty little bastards!

yeah the garona story arc felt a bit rushed and forced. But supposedly there was 40 minutes cut out of the movie for theatrical release, so we'll see when the directors cut comes out

Anyway, rather than devolving into a warcraft movie discussion, lets continue about dwarfs.

This is king magni from the movie. Awesome.

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How ye doin' ye pointy eared bastard?

We still alive?

Dwarves are known for long lives, hopefully this thread too
nice cheesecake btw, its good to see dwarves still got action

I'm so sorry dwarf general... I'm limber, 6', blonde, just shaved, and one of my ears is broken into a point. I just realized that despite my years knocking back bangers and mash, yelling at vegans, and headbutting people in a guiness-coloured stupor, I'm actually a half-elf.

How can I redeem myself? Everything I know is a lie!

My poor half-elven child, you should know that the real dwarf is not shown in how short you are or how long your beard is, a real dwarf is shown in his actions and his heart, if you love the shine of the gem, the smell of the earth and the taste of bitter ale, then you are dwarf to us, no matter how skinny your body is or pointy your ears are

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hell yea boi

Do dwarf women lactate beer?

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If that's the case you can all keep your elven waifus,
im marrying a dwarf girl

In the real world, it's not about the beard on your chin, it's about the beard in your heart. You sound dwarfy enough to me.

Aw yeah, now that's what im talkin about

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Are dwarf girls into some kinky stuff?

Are you asking if they lactate fermented milk?

>mfw found that game about dwarves on Steam
>it's fucking low-tier sci-fi and pretty garbage
Fuck. I'll just reinstall Battle for middle earth 2 and build a giant fortress.

Defenetly more than the elves, i mean when you live
250+ years minus elf "purity" and sobriety, you are bound to
end up in some kinky shit, like waking up with a hangover in bed nex to to a mountain goat

Just wait lad, The Dwarves comes out soonish. It's based on the novel which is full of Dwarven bravery, beardery, and drinking.

They love it when you are forging an axe while pounding their ass.

Gem and gold piercings, you know where

youtube.com/watch?v=iScUZ75bW94

But it's a RPG. I don't like RPGs, I'd rather have a strategy game.

Always pound that ass like you would pound steel.

What do you guys feel about Dwarves riding animals like horses, goats, etc. Yea or nay?

It compensates for their short legs. I'm not a big fan of the "dwarves suck at something and are too dumb to find a way to fix it".

I wouldn't call it much of an rpg based on the gameplay I've seen. Looks more like a top down action game.

Horses don't really make sense for mountain dwellers

Giant goat like things on the other hand

Like Helldiver or that other game, then, Aarklash Legacy or something?

Divinity original sin, dragon age that sort of thing

Bears. Dwarfs ride bears.

I fucking hate Divinity. I tried to make a melee character and got so fucking rekt it was embarassing.

It's not talked about much, but you can be half-elf and dwarven at the same time...

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I came rocks

TRUDVANG
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U
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V
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will there ever be a gnome,halfling,half giant,and a mul thread?

Only if it is a lewd thread.

The look on Magni's face is brilliant

>Why the fuck are we wasting our time in this shitty movie
>I wish I was at home forging ashbringer.

It was a pretty good novel too, all things considered. A little stereotypical, but with a dwarf focus instead of a human one.

It was mediocre at best, riding on the LotR hype train.

Why are dwarves always so ugly? You just can't find anything good. The only dwarf I find cool is Thorin in the hobbit move

Pretty much what Warhammer Fantasy does.

In Warhammer Fantasy Dwarves are not scottish or Norse, They're Northern English.

They're grim miners who drink bitters and Ales.

I liked the villain, and whole successorship plot was pretty nice.

You're not in your forest anymore you dandelion eating fairy