Edgy Harry Potter Fanfic Quest 2.1

youtube.com/watch?v=34jC1fmeFD0

You are Harry Potter, no longer a wizard after being tortured by Death Eaters. A year ago, you woke up from a coma and trained to become a ninja with your new cyborg limbs. Before you make claim the Black and Potter fortunes, your sensei has advised that you take some missions to prepare yourself. And you have, taking on a mission to guard the Greengrass family on their summer vacation in Rome.

You give your sensei a slight bow and direct another at the Greengrass patriarch. Then you step outside. The summer night breeze carries with it the smell of night jasmine. You look at the moon and quickly scale the wall of the Second Empire chateau onto the verdigris green of its copper roof. A hundred yards away is a forest through which a concealed path to this wizard’s manor lies. You prowl with catlike tread around the roof. As you watch for threats within and without, you come across a tall blonde girl watching the garden from the balcony of her room. This is Daphne Greengrass, the “Ice Queen of Slytherin.” The years have been kind to her; she’s a little taller than she when she was 15 and her proportions have filled out to give her long, graceful sort of beauty.

You take note and continue your patrol. Now, you drop from the roof onto the ground. You pay special attention to woods, recalling a vague description of a red-eyed stalker. You don’t see anything per se, but you feel as though someone is watching. You take a look at the treeline; even if you are being watched, this could be a trap to draw you out against an unknown force. You look back to an oblivious Daphne. Perhaps you could catch up with an old acquaintance without revealing your true identity.

[1] Head for the treeline
[2] Speak with Daphne on the balcony
[3] Other

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archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/47824681/
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/47944570/
youtube.com/watch?v=SDklocLs8mU
youtube.com/watch?v=3soskkvYBgM
twitter.com/AnonBabble

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>Previous Threads
Thread 1 - archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/47824681/
Thread 2 - archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/47944570/

>[1] Head for the treeline

I'd like to call votes in 5 minutes, so please vote now or forever hold your edge

sage

That was me, dropped trip

Writing for [1]

Isn't there a board for this sort of thing now?

Bring your shitty fan fic to its containment board

Your footsteps leave no trace as you run through the field. The French oaks come up as you slide to stop, watching for movement. Only a few lobed leaves fall here and there. You profess into the increasingly dark woods, hand on the hilt of your sword. You crouch and assume a meditative pose; you then sink into the shadows – no magic, only training in the ninja arts. You dance from shadow to shadow, touched by no rays of soft moonlight as you prowl the forest for the watcher. Just as you are ready to turn back you look over your shoulder and see a wolf – a red-eyed wolf with a golden sable pelt.

Perhaps this was the watcher? You pivot to face the wolf and come face to face with a fit blonde woman wearing black leotard and a red cloak. A scythe rests on her shoulder. An inch of steel gleams from your scabbard. Her red eyes stare into yours.

“A ninja, huh?” she says in a husky alto.

“You could say that,” you say as you circle each other.

“The last one died, you know. Do you have a name, ninja?”

She smiles at you, revealing sharp fangs. A vampire!

“Call me Mr. Noir,” you say, “Now begone, unless you want me to cut your pretty little head off those shoulders.”

“Feisty, I like it,” says the vampire, “Call me Phantasma, Mr. Noir.”

She places her left hand on the scythe.

>Note will call for rolls after voting, 1d20 – best of three. DC 15 unless specified

[1] Dodge back - that scythe can sweep through a large arc
[2] *teleports behind you* unsheathes jian* “Nothin’ personal, vampire”
[3] Drop smoke bombs and get out; this could be a distraction
[4] Other

Have some fitting music

youtube.com/watch?v=SDklocLs8mU

...

Would you mind fucking off to your own board?

This is a lot of effort for stale bait.

I set out to write a dumb Harry Potter Fanfic, the sort of thing that one would read on FFN in the mid 2000s. It's supposed to put a smile on one's face for being ridiculous in that sort of edgy manner

Then go to the board for it. Nobody wants or cares about this here.

>[2] *teleports behind you* unsheathes jian* “Nothin’ personal, vampire”

If we're going to be edgy, this is a classic

I'll write for this. Will roll myself in 5 minutes if no rolls are forthcoming

>[2] *teleports behind you* unsheathes jian* “Nothin’ personal, vampire”
gotta do it

Shouldn't this go to /qst/?

/qst/ is a trial board which, according to the moderation, I am under no particular obligation to use.

Since I've been a Veeky Forums QM for several years at this point, I will continue to QM on Veeky Forums until the moderation makes an official decision. Their current decision is to permit quests on Veeky Forums for the moment.

Good to know. Have fun with your quest.

Rolls for option 1

Going to eat lunch and then write

Please bear with me and be patient

You utilize the ninja art of shadow dancing and disappear into the shadows. The vampire warily looks around, shifting her weight as she prepares for an unexpected attack. In a heartbeat, you are beside the vampire swinging to slice off her head and end the fight there. Your sword flies out in a silver arc from it sheath. It bites halfway through her neck before being stopped by the iron shaft of the scythe.

You try dodge the whirlwind blow that sweeps back at you. The vampire flicks her wrist and withdraws the scythe, hooking your iron arm. You flip up and kick off the vampire. You recoil from each other, but you land on your feet on a tree as she slams into a trunk. The flesh of the vampire’s neck knits itself back together. She advances, slowly spinning her scythe.

“You’re pretty good, Mr. Noir,” she says.

You say nothing and instead cast off the shredded robe around your right arm. She whistles appreciatively at your bare chest and the brass and chrome of your artificial arm.

“So you’ve given up a little bit of your humanity, too,” she says.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you reply.

“Not your arm, you silly human. Something casts a shadow on your heart,” she says.

You grunt and prepare to attack. You could use your wrist rocket or one of your other tricks. But, she isn’t lying when she says that there’s something evil in your heart. Though you can’t control it, you might have to use *that*.

>Another roll once votes are called

[1] Fire your concealed wrist rocket
[2] Create a distraction with your shuriken and attempt to pierce her heart
[3] Unleash the monster inside that almost killed your teacher
[4] Other

>Since I've been a Veeky Forums QM for several years at this point, I will continue to QM on Veeky Forums until the moderation makes an official decision.

Yeah, so they made a board for quests and it's supposed to be used for that purpose. Be a good bloke and go with the flow

>[1] Fire your concealed wrist rocket

Rolled 5, 18, 12 = 35 (3d20)

Writing

youtube.com/watch?v=3soskkvYBgM

A panel in your arm opens up and a rocket pops into a firing position. You clench your fist to send it corkscrewing towards the vampire assassin. It explodes in a fireball of pink, neon green, and orange. You shift your position to perhaps strike for a different angle. As the smoke clears, you see the vampire riddled with shrapnel and horribly burned. Thick blood oozes from the wounds and slowly restores the flesh to its previous beauty.

“Good trick, handsome,” wheezes Phantasma the vampire.

She attacks and you bend backwards to avoid the reaping blade. You seem to have the upper hand, and your sword strikes several nicks and scratches. You are not unscathed, bleeding from several close calls – long red lines scored across your chest. The blows are starting to get faster as she gradually heals herself. Now is the time to strike, and you do so. While she whirls around to keep momentum on the scythe, you duck under a sweeping slash and lunge. She recognizes this and tries to bring the scythe crashing down from overhead. But this time it’s different. The air around you chills. You smile behind your mask as the blade slips between her ribs into where her heart should be; it might not be a wooden stake, but it should put her down until you finish her off that way. Your elation turns to horror as the scythe crashes down, piercing your metal arm. You try to pull it off, but you see tendrils of frost creeping up your arm and freezing the joints solid.

Desperately, you once again kick off your opponent, using a trickle of magical energy to reinforce your legs. You escape, and with your sword to boot; however a large chunk of your right arm shears off with the agonizing sound of tearing metal. Half your fingers are non-functional; their articulation destroyed between the blade and the frost.

“Now we’re even, Mr. Noir,” says the vampire, restored to her previous beauty, sashaying towards you while twirling her scythe like a baton, “Will you use that, Mr. Noir. Show me your inner monster?”

At this point, you want nothing more than to kill this bitch. However, the rational part of your brain reminds you that your job is to guard the Greengrasses. This might not be a lone wolf.

[1] Create a distraction with your shuriken and smoke bombs to retreat
[2] Unleash the monster inside that almost killed your teacher
[3] Other

Bump

>[1] Create a distraction with your shuriken and smoke bombs to retreat

>[1] Create a distraction with your shuriken and smoke bombs to retreat

Writing for 1

I'm going to have dinner, so this will be delayed

Worrying about the manor, you decide to break off the engagement. You reach into your belt pouches and fling two volleys of shuriken. They spark against the blade and shaft of Phantasma’s scythe.

“You’re starting to bore me now, Mr. Noir. Make me feel alive,” she says.

You drop smoke bombs, and the area is engulfed in thick clouds of choking smoke. You take the opportunity to run back across the field, through the garden, and into the foyer of the Greengrass summer chateau. As you look around, you meet eyes with everyone in the room. Itachi’s eyes are calculating. The Greengrass parents are aghast. The younger sister, Astoria, is covering her eyes. And Daphne seems simultaneously horrified and very interested in your appearance. She can’t possibly recognize you as Harry Potter. You walk and sit down on the stairs, probably bleeding on them.

“You may have a slight vampire problem,” you say before shooting a healing potion and blood restoration potion like tequila.

FIN

Thanks to everyone who participated. I'll hang around for a few hours to chit chat.

I'm thinking Friday at 5pm Central/ 6pm Eastern since starting early didn't seem to work yesterday.

Stay in school and stay edgy.

It's a unique premise, thats for sure