Min max tales in DND and why the DM hates you

Why not just make a Simulacrum/Wish army like every other wizard?

>Have one in our group
>Slowly losing will to play as he is able to do everything
>Other two in group add nothing except a little combat
>Keep going against him to give others a chance
>DM knows him better than I know either of them
>Going to stay quiet next session and see what happens.
>Don't want to upset GM because he's worked hard
>Will probably leave group

Op said he did it in 5e.

Congrats on getting +2 more on your primary stat bonuses than the average starting character. Having a +5 bonus on CHA instead of a +3 is totally going to be game breaking. I bet you all have a lot of fun with that.

Just don't forget to drag your catatonic body around with you because if someone pops it with a dispel magic while you're 100 ft away from it you auto-die. You'll be okay with enemies who can cast 3rd level spells since they have to beat a DC16 and that's rough at that level but it gets easier the closer they get to 20. The real problem is going to be the ones who can blow a single 6th-lvl spell slot on it to auto-end no save. Shouldn't be a problem as long as brought your body to the fight, though. Just don't forget your body has the 'unconscious' status, so incapacitated, no objects, all attack rolls against it have auto-advantage, all melee is crit, and it automatically fails STR and DEX saves. That +5 to CON is going to make up for that.

Here, fishie fishie.

Yeah, no.

Here's a new character sheet. Start over. And put your drink on a coaster.

>reading through the 5e rulebook I see the lance special ability to be 1h when on a horse
>remember that the dual wielder feat allows for dual wielding of 1 handed weapons that aren't light
>doesn't say anything about weight other than not light
>create a human variant fighter who at level 4 has both dual wielding and mounted combatant
>able to dual wield 1d12 weapons and have advantage on attacks against anything smaller than large in size

Yep, perfectly allowed under RAW. Mounted combatants are meant to be *beasts* when they're in their element.

Clarifications, though. You won't always get the advantage on your targets because the lance causes disadvantage to adjacent targets. They'll even out so both attacks *won't* be disadvantaged, but the advantage only holds while reaching.

Remember that your off-hand attack requires you to expend your bonus action even with the fighting style and the feat and that you'll want to carry at least 2 one-handed, non-light, martial melee weapons since when dismounted. I'd go for two different 1d8's with different damage types if it were me, but I probably wouldn't try to keep up with a 5th weapon.

In short, your build trades a +4 to secondary attributes and two+1 primary attributes to be a total beast on a pseudo-charge, still scary in mounted melee, but slightly less effective than a standard TWF fighter on the ground, give or take a free skill point to sweeten the deal (which should probably go into animal handling.)

Why does that cat have a really fucking long arm?

You sound really ass hurt for no apparent reason

>5e
>Minmaxer complains that it's too simple and there aren't enough options
>Decides to go into fighter from warlock
>Has too many skills with proficiency for that level
>Cue ten minutes it felt like of looking up the multiclassing rules, him saying that it didn't say he didn't get the skill proficiencies and that 5e was so vague and complicated because they simplified it before I pointed out the table listed exactly what proficiencies each class got.
>He get mad and goes upstairs to redo his character
>Announces his plan to multiclass every 4 levels after taking the skilled feat so he can get all of his skill proficient.
He also complained that everything came down to dice rolls and said that any 3.5 characters would wreck anything in 5th edition.

Yeah, but in the min maxer mentality, a GM who exploited that would be the bad guy in that situation.

Because it's a ccat

I don't actually see what a necromancer would get out of doing that shit.

>let's say up to +5 for certain rolls, where the necromancer would have super shitty attributes
>in a level 20 campaign

It's a bonus, sure, and an apparent free one. Although you do open yourself to certain magical attacks, since you're possessing a body.

Them's the breaks. I play 5e RAW. Players get access to everything in the core rulebooks, SCAG, and current setting documents but they're responsible for familiarizing themselves with what they choose to build, including the full description of their own spells. "I didn't read the whole description" and "I forgot other people get spells, too" are thin sauce coming from somebody using a gimmicky "system mastery" build to start with.

I get tired of posts that amount to "allow me to show you that 5e didn't fix any of the 3.PF problems" but then post something that blatantly ignores the actual 5e rules or dismisses the balancing factors as "no one plays it that way."

5e is a good game and RAW are pretty well balanced. I do actually find it insulting that someone ripped a slot-6 spell out of context and tried to treat it as a system-breaking "I win" button by ignoring the actual description of the spell itself and ignoring the changes made to both specific spells and the magic system in general.

>dual wielding lances
Lel

What's scary is that it's pretty well balanced.

True. Personally I'd name my character Diarmuid and find a Large woman to ride.

I named mine Lance for no real reason. I just felt that it fit the theme somehow.

>any 3.5 characters would wreck anything in 5th edition.
How does this make sense?

3.5fags are a special breed of retarded autist.

3.0 was designed to give huge, story-derailing boosts to people who figured out the optimal build paths and way too much of that made it into 3.5 and then PF. When confronted with a system that doesn't reward that style of play, they freak out.

Isn't that because of Ivory Tower theory and the idea that somehow this was a good plan in narrative storytelling systems? I agree with you, though. The mentality is similar to that of a dog that is too used to getting treats for performing a certain trick. When they do the trick and don't get their treat, what does the dog do? It whines.

Indubitably, but you still need a Large woman to ride. What are the good options for Large women in 5e?

I would also suggest you acquire a monohorn helmet and oversized codpiece to complete your Lancemaster image.

You don't need to find a large woman. Just hire a wizard whose only job is to keep up enlarge on a woman of your choice.

Wizards are expensive, women are cheap! Unless she's your wife!

This is what I do to asshole (read: "minmaxer") players, tbqh.

>I ask for a cubic inch of my friends character's flesh before campaign begins
You should have just used Wish to create a Clone.

Actually, you should have just said you used Wish to create clones of all of your characters and put them in demiplanes so you're all functionally immortal.

Give yourself two weeks + 120 days of prep and you're all incapable of being killed, even on a TPK. Sure, it sucks being reduced to 25 spells based on the ones you have prepared, but one of them is Wish so you're fine.

You all die and come back as 12-year-old superheroes. If you stockpile your wealth and extra equipment in there you're double-fine.

You can do it in PF tho. You can do WORSE since you can do it on a bound demon with base stats that are waaaaay higher than what the party barb is capable of.

I strongly suspect you haven't actually read the spell descriptions for Magic Jar or Wish in 5e.

t. why i hate dnd.

I didn't say anything about Magic Jar.

Wish lets you duplicate the effects of any spell of 8th level or lower, ignoring expensive material components and long casting times. So long as you do that, you avoid any of the potential drawbacks (necrotic damage, 33% chance of never being able to cast Wish again, etc.).

Clone is an 8th-level spell. You don't need the cubic inch of flesh. You don't need an hour of your precious wizard time.

Demiplane is another spell you can do with Wish, or cast it on its own right. So you can Wish up a demiplane, sit in it for a day with some rations, and start Wishing up some clones of you and your party.

Once a cloned creature dies, its spirit goes to the cloned body with all its previous abilities and statistics. The clone can be a younger version of the creature too, so goodbye dying of old age.

As for getting out of the demiplane, as long as you have Wish you can Plane Shift (without the required tuning fork) to get out and back to the material plane. And because you are mentally and physically identical (save for age) in your new clone body, you have the same spells prepared.

This is a pretty well-defined, RAW-permissable exploit, and it's one reason playing max-level games in 5e is ridiculous. Potentially fun, but definitely ridiculous.

Of course this can all be avoided by banning Wish as a spell, since that gets rid of basically all the easy exploits by Wizards, arcana clerics, bards, and sorcerers, while leaving their 9th-level spell with some good options anyway.

Couldn't the dm just look at the sheet and say no and make you roll up a non game breaking character?

I award you ippon. You are correct, I missed the fact that demiplane can't be used to return to its plane of origin but plane shift just needs to know "home." Full points.

Down that road lies Calvinball

>Not a cool badass one like being a sociopath.

Wasn't intentional and I ended up rerolling so that the rest of the party actually had a chance to contribute

>PF
>playing 3rd party class
>as I level up, realize it has a bunch of features saying "use Strength instead of x"
>eventually use strength for all saves, half my skill proficiency and adding half str mod to HP/level
>DM gives the party a belt of +6 strength

You can guess how it went downhill

>>DM gives the party a belt of +6 strength

>You can guess how it went downhill

let me guess, it was cursed?

>ended up rerolling so that the rest of the party actually had a chance to contribute

oh, dammit, would have been funny

At least he didn't say bardic double casting horse?

Bait thread is bait. Let's instead talk about creative cloning! Just not D&D because that's terrible.

I mean, everything that comes to my mind just reinforces the horror of existing as a self aware being that can comprehend that much as it had a beginning it must have an end, and that even a perfect copy won't contain the sense of self that dies without continuity.

Huh. This post seems pointless suddenly. Nevermind, shit post away.

In this case, though it specifically says that the soul transfers. It's a little less clear whether or not the consciousness or memories travel with it, but given that it seems like a self magic jar I would imagine they do.

The numbers are all larger.

>5e
>Minmax
literally impossible

>Start 15th level game
>There's a druid/master of many forms, a wizard/archwizard and a cleric/wizard/mystic theurge or some shit
>"we need a tank"
>Sure
>Be shifter barbarian/warshaper/weretouched master/warblade and another PrC from ToB
>Literally can get up to 50 Str
>Get banned at the table even though the druid could turn into a 12 headed cryohidra and summon crazy shit

Why do people do this stuff? I have a friend like you who plays the same way; multi class every couple of levels. I usually ban multi classing into more than two classes for this exact reason.
>Fighter/Cleric?
Makes sense. Fine.
>Rogue/Wizard?
Makes sense. Fine.
>Cavalier/Knight?
Makes sense. Fine.
>Whatever the fuck you jotted down?
I don't even care if it's not game breaking (which It probably is) Having 3+ multi classes is a HUGE flag for that guy. You're probably the kind of person who smirks at his fellow party members when they're playing outside your established specifications.

Because it makese sense? weretouched master is a PrC of shifters, same as the PrC from the ToB, warshaper fits the idea, and well, I started as a Barb so.

Also I wasn't banned because I had "too many" PrCs I was because I could be as good as the Druid in combat as long as he didn't choose a strong monster to turn into and that's unfair somehow

Also
>you
Did you even read? everybody multiclassed and went PrC as they wanted, I was the last dude who made the PC

Oh...wait, this was bait, sorry, always fell for this shit

>Thinks rogue/wizard is fine
That guy as fuck.

It's a pretty faggy combo to take, but people used to play muts all the time in AD&D and I'm not going to stop them from keeping the tradition alive.

>I only multiclassed every three levels!
>He doesn't agree with me, he must be joking!
>The Druid was strong too!
>I was kicked because of favoritism!
You're that guy.

Do you mind putting your tripname?, it's easier to hide you that way

Spotted the casterfag.

>Posts Dwarf fighters.
>He's a caster!

>I attack the city watch for telling me no.

I'd be a bara birdman if the DM let me.

youtube.com/watch?v=im639Jlk1qk
Man, this is what I am picturing in my mind.

>avatarfag thinks the avatar he's fagging matters

I can't think of anything but youtube.com/watch?v=v-bYLp5oqXQ reading this post.

Someone has never played most White Wolf games

Pardon me, I generally don't multiclass so I don't understand, what's wrong with Rogue/Wizards? I could see it being an interesting combo, fluffwise.

Rogue's predilection towards betraying the party coupled with Wizard's general amorality.

Fluffwise barbarian/warshaper/weretouched master (even one of the eberron manuals has lore for that) makes sense and the other user was yelling that guy.

Sounds fun. I would allow that, because I've actually read how the spell works, and it would mean you either drag your original body with you, or you're one Dispel Magic from death in addition to being one failed saving throw from death when the spell runs out.

And RAW it doesn't work, you must possess a humanoid, soulless body is an object.

This, pretty much. If you spot a rogue wizard with a chaotic alignment it is time to run the other way. Especially if it's a fucking Elf.