Shinigami Savant Quest #68.5

>LAST TIME, ON SHINIGAMI SAVANT QUEST
>Riku negotiated a ceasefire between the Valhallans and their reigai
>Artemis asked Riku for a small favor
>Yoruichi may have had a chance to copy all of the weapons
>And a man got turned into a snake

You are Kusajishi Riku, a shinigami and Captain of the Seireitei Court Guard's Ninth Division. You've only just returned from a trip to Valhalla that climaxed in your destruction of an artificial copy of yourself in what will certainly go down in history as the region's most powerful controlled explosion.

The Garganta opens just within the Western gate of the Ninth Division's barracks, briefly drawing the attention of several of your subordinates before they realize who it is and return to their duties as usual. You extend your senses with a deep breath, and finding everything to be more or less the same as when you left it allow yourself a smile.

You're home.

“Good to be back,” Yoruichi agrees quietly, noticing the look on your face as you both head towards your office and quarters. “Just be careful for the next few days, okay?”

You nod quietly, understanding precisely what it is Yoruichi is worried about. You've given it some thought yourself in fact: if someone in the Seireitei actually went so far as to produce clones of you and your wife, it makes little sense that they should be destroying units of Valhallan soldiers unless it was as an exercise. Someone was testing the success of the new clones on the Valhallans with the reasoning that due to the separation between spiritual realms odds were slim that the Seireitei would hear about it in such a timely manner.

“I know,” you agree, realizing that once again almost anyone you run across might in fact be their evil clone. “I'll look out for anyone who's grown a goatee since we left.”

Yoruichi chuckles to herself. “In all seriousness we need to have a plan to make sure we are who we say we are. Your clone use any hollow powers?”
>1/2

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You shake your head. “She made it a point that she was 'free of the taint', so I assume she couldn't.”

“That'll be our trick, then,” Yoruichi decides as you find Rangiku waiting in your office behind a stack of paperwork.

She leaps from your chair and throws her arms around you. “Captain! I'm so happy you're back!”

“Paperwork's really backed up in two days,” you observe with a sly grin. “Don't worry, we'll knock it out before dinner.”

“That's not the only reason I'm happy you're back, you know,” your daughter pouts.

You shrug off her implicit accusation. “You know that worked a lot better when you were a lot shorter. How have things been on the home front?”

“Oh, more of the usual,” she assures you, taking a seat at the low table across from your desk as you clear a view through the mountains of paperwork. “Lots of scouting and contact reports to file, nothing of genuine interest aside from that mission Captain Urahara called in.”

“A mission?” Yoruichi asks, sitting across from your daughter. “What sort of mission? I assume it has something to do with 'anomalous readings' on his 'thingamajig' scanner indicating massive fluctuations in the 'whatchamacallems'.”

“Just about!” Rangiku laughs. “Something to do with the Dangai. We Lieutenants talked it over and sent Renji, Momo, and Izuru to take a look. About time those three got back on speaking terms.”
>2/3

“So, what happened with you? I hear Captain Kyōraku was in a rush to report to Yamamoto.”

While Rangiku talks, Yoruichi shoots you a subtle glance. One hand finds its way to the hilt of her sword... she means to test Rangiku's reactions to determine whether she's a reigai or not. If she is a reigai you'd expect an immediate counterattack. If not Rangiku will hesitate, questioning whether or not Yoruichi intended to hit her. That will tell you for certain.

>Artemis just wanted help cleaning a mess.
>Tell her about the Valhallan Reigai.
>Tell her about your copies?
>Other?

Also,
>Wave Yoruichi off?
>Let her test Rangiku?
>Suggest a different method?

>Tell her about the Valhallan Reigai.
>Tell her about your copies?
>Let her test Rangiku?
Tell her after we test her, Also apologize.

>Artemis just wanted help cleaning a mess.
>Tell her about the Valhallan Reigai.

>Suggest a different method?
"Valhallan's seemed more stuck up than usual this time. I need a drink."

The clones acted pretty 'pure'. This might clue us in.

Well, glad to be back from scrub town, how you've been Guide?

>>Let her test Rangiku?
>Artemis just wanted help cleaning a mess.

>Let her test Rangiku?
If she is who she says she is go see the Arancar with her and explain what is going down.

Backing this!

>Tell her about the Valhallan Reigai.
>Tell her about your copies?
>Let her test Rangiku?

>Artemis just wanted help cleaning a mess.
>Let her test Rangiku?

>writing

You shut your eyes in frustration: as much as you hate to admit it this is the only real means at your disposal to ensure that the Rangiku before you is the genuine one rather than a fake. And so what happens next is a surprise only to your daughter as your wife makes her move.

The two blades leave their sheaths in an instant as Yoruichi rises suddenly to her feet. There's a split second opening for Rangiku to react, since the butterfly swords aren't really intended for iaidō and orienting them properly for a strike takes some conscious effort, and in that moment your daughter pushes hard off the floor to gain a few precious inches of distance as her hands find her own sword's hilt and sheath. But Yoruichi's blades miss cleanly, as she'd only ever intended to spook Rangiku into responding, and she immediately adopts a more defensive posture with a spinning flourish from each hand.

Rangiku's blade remains stubbornly in its sheath as she glances from Yoruichi to you, a look of alarm and uncertainty clear in her eyes.

“That's good,” you nod, satisfied. “Sorry, but Yoruichi was right. We had to be sure.”

Your wife meanwhile does something you've never in two hundred years seen her do: after sheathing her swords she kneels, bowing so deeply her forehead touches the backs of her hands as they rest against the floor.

“I'll let Riku do the talking,” she says as she rises. “But everything else aside that was a great response. You've improved tremendously, Rangiku.”

“What the hell is this all about?” Rangiku demands, her hands straying from Haineko's hilt. “Mom? What happened on your trip that's got you this cagey?”

“We met and were forced to destroy two nearly perfect clones of ourselves,” you explain with a sigh. “The Valhallans informed us that they came from someone within the Seireitei, which is why we had to determine that you were really you.”
>1/2

“I take it their reiatsu was a perfect match?” Rangiku asks, more disturbed now at the implications than Yoruichi's previous aggression. “So you can't use that method to distinguish us.”

“Exactly,” Yoruichi replies. “Aside from the fact that they either cannot or will not use hollow abilities, the only characteristic we noticed that sets them apart is a lack of hesitation.”

“They can't hesitate or doubt,” you add. “They claimed it made them stronger, but it also makes them reckless. From everything we've seen a reigai can't help but attack when surprised or challenged, even when any of us would suspect a trap.”

>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>We need to check the other Captains, the high-priority targets for replacement.
>We need to sort out our own Divisions first, work from a place of certainty.
>Other?

>>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>>We need to check the other Captains, the high-priority targets for replacement.

>>We need to sort out our own Divisions first, work from a place of certainty.

>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>We need to sort out our own Divisions first, work from a place of certainty.

Gonna be a lot of brewing trouble if Mirai got cloned.

>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>We need to check the other Captains, the high-priority targets for replacement.

>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>We need to check the other Captains, the high-priority targets for replacement.

>We need to check the other Captains, the high-priority targets for replacement.
Once that is done we can,
>>sort out our own Divisions first, work from a place of certainty.

>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>We need to check the other Captains, the high-priority targets for replacement.
Yup.

>We need to contact the Arrancar. We know they can't be copied.
>We need to sort out our own Divisions first, work from a place of certainty.

>writing

“Rangiku, are any of the arrancar around?” you ask, trying to keep the conversation moving forward as best you can. “If hollow abilities are either too difficult or distasteful to copy then having some arrancar around should be the best security measure possible.”

Rangiku nods softly. “Yes... I believe that Apacci is still here, helping Rukia come up with a new assessment for potential Commandos. The others are resting in the Valley of Screams.”

“Good,” you tell her, rising to your feet. “Then come with me Lieutenant. Yoruichi, please see to your own Division's officers. I'd hate for someone other than you to get hold of the Onmitsu, for any amount of time.”

“I doubt it's a problem,” she admits, taking the opportunity to stretch. “Commander positions aren't influential enough to be worth replacing: only the Executive is. I'll take care of it quickly and deploy the Second Unit as surveillance around the other Divisions.”

She then steps into your room, then comes back out with a confused look. “Portal's not working.”

“It happens sometimes,” you shrug as Yoruichi glances over her shoulder. “It's got you nervous.”

“I've got a bad feeling about it,” she admits. “But either way, staying here to try and fix it won't tell me anything. Play it nice and slow for now, both of you.”

It only takes a few minutes to reach the room where Apacci and Rukia are seated together, deep in discussion.

“I know that it's weird,” Apacci insists, “but I don't think that it's as big a deal.”

“Of course it's a big deal!” Rukia counters. “Not knowing shikai is a hindrance for most shinigami. Those who can fight at the necessary level without it are an unusual case, and would be much stronger if they knew it.”

“All I'm saying is it doesn't have to be a requirement,” Apacci sighs. “Come on, you know I'd never say to just let in any moron with a good left hook. What do you think, Lady Riku?”
>1/2

>Shikai is an important reflection of self-awareness and growth.
>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
>Bigger problems right now. Rukia, I need you to do something for me (test her somehow?)
>Tell me, Apacci... have you noticed anything strange going on around here?
>Just tell them both what's going on?
>Other?

>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.

>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
>Tell me, Apacci... have you noticed anything strange going on around here?

>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
>Tell me, Apacci... have you noticed anything strange going on around here?

>>Shikai is an important reflection of self-awareness and growth. Having said that I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
However
>Tell me, Apacci... have you noticed anything strange going on around here?

>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
>Bigger problems right now. Rukia, I need you to do something for me (test her somehow?)

If there's anything Rukia hesitates about, it's the men in her life. Tease her about Ichigo and/or Byakuya.

>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
>Tell me, Apacci... have you noticed anything strange going on around here?

>>Shikai is an important reflection of self-awareness and growth.
>>I care about two things: character and ability. Shikai is just a formality.
Not mutually exclusive. Honestly, there are so many special snowflakes floating around that things should be decided for on a case-by-case basis pretty much always.

>>Bigger problems right now. Rukia, I need you to do something for me (test her somehow?)
Same test.

Second.

Deleted my old vote, Seconding this.

>writing
Also, just as a total sidebar, what are your guys' thoughts about Naruto and Full Metal Alchemist?

Naruto is fine if we disregard the later bullshit. FMA is a great series though the original adaptation of it was less than stellar.

Naruto was great until the powerlevels got wonky, It was just okay afterwards. FMA is pure greatness.

Naruto is iffy tb.h., It gets more bullshit the longer it went on, FMA is fucking great though.

Naruto has a great premise like bleach, it's issues stem from it's janky plot and powerlevel bullshittery. And Naruto being a shit character.

FMA: Brotherhood is the best anime of all time, period. It's also the second best dubbed anime of all time next to cowboy bebop. Actually they may be tied.

Well to be honest Bleach had the same path, started off great, but became more bullshit the longer it went on.

Both are meh.

Naruto is meh but Full Metal Alchemist is pretty good

Specific suggestions for Queen on this one:

>So was Ichigo going out with you, or that girl who gives Rangiku a run for her money in the chest department?
>I only ask because lately Byakuya's been saying the Kuchiki and Shiba clans need closer ties, and brought up the possibility of having you marry Ichigo.
>What do you think though? Could you make a good wife to him?

Naruto is laughably bad. If it'd been made in the 1980's it'd be a cult classic.
Full Metal Alchemist is pretty good.
Naruto < FMA < Bleach < FMA: Brotherhood

That's why I just stopped with Bleach after Ichigo beat Aizen.

Naruto is better than Bleach right up to the point where it gets absolutely shit.

FMA I liked the manga, liked the first anime when it aired but not so big a fan now, not a huge fan of Brotherhood either.

Naruto was my first expose to weabooness at age 13, it got shit fast though. Even for teenage me.

Never watched either of them consistently enough to get attached and form an opinion. Never got started on either of their manga.

>not a huge fan of Brotherhood either.

Brotherhood was the manga

Yeah, the Zabuza arc was pure greatness.

No it isn't. FMA:B is the second anime of it mate.

I think Naruto and Bleach was the gateway to weebness for many, me included at same age too. I watched Naruto up to Shippuden, I kinda dropped out after that, keept up with bleach though.

Not gonna lie, Cried like a bitch the first time I saw it, Zabuza was a fucking great character.

Plot-wise, sure. I didn't like the directing very much, especially the early chapters were really rushed presumably since they overlapped with the first series. I felt it had poor sense of comedic timing, or just timing in general, really. I thought the music was a bit weaker too.

>I think Naruto and Bleach was the gateway to weebness for many

For me it was Outlaw Star. If you're gonna go full weeb on a shitty anime, at least make it one that knows how absurd it is.

Nigga

It's the manga's entire plot, the first series is a bunch of goofy and made up bullshit.

“I've never been much for formalities,” you decide, rubbing the back of your neck. “If I see a candidate without shikai who'd be good I'll know it then, but until it comes up I'll treat each on a case by case basis.”

“Remember, Rukia,” you conclude with a grin, “back when I recruited you it was a bit of a gamble.”

Your newest Commando grumbles something inaudible, but knowing her it's an admission of defeat. Meanwhile Rangiku just laughs.

“It's okay, Rukia. I wasn't much good when Riku recruited me either... then again, what was I again? Twelve?”

“Rangiku, that's enough,” you grin. “She's already turning red. No need to make her go from tomato to beet.”

“I'm fine,” Rukia grumbles. “Really. Not trying to save face at all.”

“Good,” you continue. “So how are you getting on with Ichigo? I know Byakuya's been talking about growing the family.”

That put her over the edge: you think you even see little wisps of steam come out of the poor girl's ears as she stammers out some attempt at an answer. “I... that is... Byakuya... Ichigo... he... I mean... it's not like I... WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!”

“You've convinced me, at least,” Apacci smirks. “Completely.”

“SHUT UP!” Rukia shrieks before composing herself, trying to put on the appearance of nobility like an ill-fitting suit. “I mean to say, it would be undignified to discuss such matters.”

“You know he probably likes 'em big though, right?” Rangiku asks in the most innocent voice she can muster. “All boys that age do! If he weren't so terrified of Lady Riku I'd be concerned for my chastity!”

Now it's your turn to stifle a laugh at the notion: coming from a girl who's pined after Gin for the better part of a century her act of being the flirt is still hilarious. Rukia doesn't know that private detail though, so she's absolutely gobsmacked. There aren't even any words there, just a series of inarticulate noises.
>1/2

My fucking sides

That theme though
youtube.com/watch?v=-q9I-3tpqbk

I only asked because I was digging through shit I saved off my old hard drive and notes for a Naruto quest and an FMA quest were on it. They even predate SoZ, and I'd totally forgotten about them.

>second half incoming

Some quality bullying.

>mah nigga

So, wait. If there's a chance a Rukia clone with no hesitation is running about, would she already be making a move on Ichigo?

I never really watched much anime so I am not much of a weeb, but I did watch Outlaw star

Also Aisha is best waifu.

Mah Nigga

Goddamn right

Naruto quest could be cool. While there are problems with the plot, the setting is kind of cool.

“Well, I'm satisfied,” you conclude with a laugh. “Rangiku, you?”

“That's our Fifth-Seat alright!” she agrees. “I feel better about this whole situation already!”

“Well, Apacci, I was meaning to ask,” you swiftly change topics. “Have you noticed anything weird going on around here? Anything at all, no matter how seemingly unimportant it struck you as at first.”

Apacci squints at you appraisingly, seeming to have been caught off guard. “Not really, no. Everything's been totally normal here, and there aren't any rumors so far as I've heard. Why?”

>We need to call in the others, I'll explain then.
>Explain the problem with the reigai.
>I need you to interview Kai and Mirai. Note any irregularities in their behavior.
>Other?

...

>We need to call in the others, I'll explain then.

Exacta

I think FMA would be more fun to play in, no need to handle the complicated backstory metaplot. Just your average savvy alchemist dealing with rogue alchemists and the Equivalent Exchange.

>We need to call in the others, I'll explain then.

>>We need to call in the others, I'll explain then.

>Explain the problem with the reigai.
>I need you to interview Kai and Mirai. Note any irregularities in their behavior.
>Other?
In the meanwhile, do you know where the others are?

This, plus it'd be somewhat original.

>Explain the problem with the reigai.

>Explain the problem with the reigai.

Well that'll be awkward when Ichigo shoots the clone down. Also awkward for when this whole thing gets sorted out and they get stuck in a room together.

>Other?
Give Rukia apology headpats.

>>Explain the problem with the reigai.
>>I need you to interview Kai and Mirai. Note any irregularities in their behavior.
while
>>Other?
I deal with the other Captains.

>We need to call in the others, I'll explain then.

>writing

“When we were in the west,” you explain, “Yoruichi and I were forced to destroy copies of ourselves, created here by someone in the Seireitei and deployed to Valhalla. Likely for evaluation purposes. These copies act without hesitation, so by placing an individual in a position where they would normally hesitate we can tell immediately if they're genuine.”

“So the teasing was to see if this was really Rukia,” Apacci nods thoughtfully. “Smart and fun to watch all at once!”

“That sort of awkwardness about my nephew was what I'd have expected of the real Kuchiki Rukia,” you confirm.

“So what do we do from here, Captain?” Rukia asks, glancing at Apacci. “Do we need to... somehow...”

You shake your head. “For some reason our hollow powers weren't copied by our clones, so Yoruichi and I are operating with the understanding that arrancar are safe.”

“Cool,” Apacci replies as she stands. “I take it we should go get everyone else? They're relaxing right now... Starrk thought it would be a good idea, but I called him a lazy bastard and stayed to get shit done.”

“It'd help to have them here,” you agree, “especially in the worst case scenario of a clone for each high-ranking officer.”

You lead the way to the fixed gate between the Seireitei and the Valley of Screams, an underground chamber with a wooden frame between the timbers of which you can establish a durable, self-sustaining portal through the “membranes” that divide the world's many distinct realms.

“Alright, open it,” you tell Apacci.
>3d10, DC 8, best of four

Rolled 1, 4, 1 = 6 (3d10)

DC: 8
Shit

Rolled 5, 10, 1 = 16 (3d10)

Rolled 7, 9, 9 = 25 (3d10)

Rolled 10, 8, 5 = 23 (3d10)

Rolled 10, 8, 5 = 23 (3d10)

Here's hoping I don't piss off RNGesus

wat

uhm

SO close to getting a crit, off by 1,

Phew, Saved.

Yeah, that's wierd...

With those numbers though, kinda wish I'd rolled earlier, even if that would've changed them.

>writing

So ah, which one is real and which is the regai?

Clearly, it's me.

He is the regai of course. Look how quickly he jumps to accuse me. No hesitation.

I said no such thing! I merely asserted my identity in the face of his question!

You extend your hands and breathe deeply, mustering up the sheer willpower and reiatsu necessary to tear reality asunder and... well, nothing really happens. You give a furtive glance around your surroundings and notice Apacci's raised eyebrow.

“Mulligan,” you declare, shifting your stance and trying again. For a second time, nothing happens.

“Performance issues?” Apacci asks, nudging you aside. “Here, lemme do it. Just don't say you loosened it for me first when I...”

Apacci's sentence ends abruptly as she too attempts to open a Garganta and fails. As she tries again you attempt to open another Garganta outside the frame with a similar lack of results. It appears that right now neither of you can get through to the Valley of Screams.

“That's odd,” you comment, frowning at the empty wooden frame. “The portal in my quarters wouldn't open for Yoruichi either.”

“You have a portal in your quarters?” Rukia asks, confused. “Where does that one go?”

“It goes to shut up and let me think,” you counter, rapping your fist lightly against the frame. “Tenkotsuki, what're we looking at here?”

“It would appear that someone or something has blocked these portals,” she replies, stating the obvious. “The real question is what means has been used to do so. We entered the Seireitei easily enough, and missions are still being conducted through the Senkaimon, but contact with the Valley of Screams has been interrupted and your clever trick to warp between two points within the Seireitei is not functioning.”
>1/2

“It's oddly specific,” you mutter before repeating Tenkotsuki's words for the benefit of your companions. “If I were to close off any one connection between worlds prior to an attack I'd try and lock away all of the arrancar I could outside the Soul Society. But the other portal was meaningless as a target. No military value.”

“Maybe it was coincidental?” Apacci offers. “Maybe whatever technique was used caught it by mistake?”

“It is possible,” Tenkotsuki admits in your mind. “You recall what the Valhallans reported, do you not?”

“We were told that the reigai were delivered by someone capable of transporting them through a Garganta of some kind,” you recall aloud. “What we weren't told was how the ability actually worked.”

>We should pay a visit to Kisuke, see what he knows.
>Rangiku, three officers went into the Dangai. We need to check on them.
>Let's get Mirai and Kai checked out, get our own house in order.
>Split the party (Pick two of the above and suggest assigments)
>Other?

>>We should pay a visit to Kisuke, see what he knows.
>Split the party (Pick two of the above and suggest assigments)
>Let's get Mirai and Kai checked out, get our own house in order.

>>Let's get Mirai and Kai checked out, get our own house in order.