Be careful with forbidden dice

Be careful with forbidden dice.
You could roll yourself into a dangerous situation.

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But what is the right die rolling for?

>You saw the dice user, now remember to bite the pillow!

So is it that you roll the dice while having anal sex, or you roll them to determine the details of how you will have anal sex?

Who gives and who receives, I'd imagine.

>bite the pillow
Unless she's going in dry that won't be necessary. That thing is tiny

>t. buttslut

>Anal Sex Dice Roll the dice and break the ice! Perfect for beginners, these playful dirty dice are the best way to explore each others uncharted territory and experiment with anal sex. One die illustrates the position-the other dictates the action! It's fun for both of you, and best of all, it's easy to do. Just roll the dice and do the deed!

You roll them anally.

>not these

>Fun for the whole family

No!

That kid has a serious Clockwork Orange thing going on with his right eye.

>Little girl rolls "Top" and "Legs over Shoulders"
wat do?

...

>suck ear
>bite ass
>pat lips

I don't think these have been playtested...

If you think those first two are weird... I'm going to go out on a limb and say you are a virgin.

>he isn't into lip patting
You're missing out a lot, user!

>Not having a love for softly sinking your teeth into some fine booty.
>No sucking earlobes.
You have pleb taste, friend.

Wow, normies are so stupid. Imagine if you had to buy a different set of oversized dice for every different table in a D&D book? And if each table only had 6 entries (or 5 and "you choose")?

>whole family is blonde except for darkest black dad
>spot the cuckold

"Upsy-daisy, honey!"

Have you tried not playing D&D?

Yeah, those normies that having so much sex they need novelty items to let the friction heal are fucking retards.

Yes, I actually haven't played D&D since Pathfinder came out.

...

Or there are several relatively small numbers of dice involved potential charts with enough space for all the sex acts that matter and a lot of configurations.

>This faggot doesn't knock on the porthole
where do you think we are?

>Pathfinder
>not D&D
Pick one

If it doesn't have illithids, it's not D&D.

>crying self to sleep intensifies

Still just have a booklet of sex positions/acts and d10 or d20 charts for more variety.

Even add a modifier to account for sub/dom taste, etc.

This site is for virgins only.
Get out normie scum!

I thought it was called "Dungeons and Dragons", not "installations and Illithids". How are illithids obligatory?

Magical realm reasons.

Not
>Blow Navel
>Pat Ear

Biting ass and sucking ear are kind of normal.
Blowing navel would be pretty fun.
Patting ear would just be a little confusing.

I think rolling dice while taking it up the pooper would be a little distracting. They should really streamline it by putting them in one of those dice poppers.

I've honestly bee looking for a cheap, stand-alone dice popper for quite some time (preferably one that would allow you to switch out the dice inside as needed) but such a thing just doesn't seem to exist sadly.

Baby Food Jars my dear user. How you dispose of the baby food is up to you.

>not growing closer to your partner by performing the weird dice rolls and sharing a laugh about it

It's called "intimacy" for a reason, user.

Pat Ear
Pat Navel
Pat Lips
Blow Ass
Blow Ear
Blow Lips

While still an unforgivably stupid oversight, there aren't really that many stupid combinations. I'd be much more upset about the fact that we're stopping what we're doing to roll dice every so often. Talk about killing the mood.

Piggy back ride, duh.

But is there a GameScience version so I know I'm getting truly random rolls?

>mechanical physics
>random

>I'd be much more upset about the fact that we're stopping what we're doing to roll dice every so often. Talk about killing the mood.

I don't wanna keep rolling "pat lips" again and again, user. Overtumbled badly formed dice do that! The GameScience man said so!

Something appropriate about /pol/ not knowing how dominant and recessive genes work.

you know whats fucked up? Im the author of that copypasta. That DM in the picture....he's still like that but he collects weird dice now. My friends tell me brings out small bags of stupid shit like d64s and shit. They're all in little individual mylar bags.

>Sociopathic manchild with enabler girlfriend hasn't improved his life.
Color me surprised.

Get a picture.
For science.

Shit nigga. I think you got yourself a legitimate dice fucker.

Tiles, ohio, and dice.
The holy trinity

What does his girlfriend see in him?

Randomness and spontenaity, I'd presume.

She also has a dice fetish.

I'm so sorry user

>something something 'roll his 2d6' something

The DM's name is Gavin and currently he only ever runs Dungeon Crawl Classics. I think that's because the game has like 18 dice or something for it. I've never gone back to his house but his girlfriend left him some time ago, it's been like...years. He has a new one but she seems more just like a nerdy chick that likes Zelda and shit from her facebook profile. I don't think she knows but christ do I want to warn her.

Like, his profile picture on facebook is a die, and he owns neckbeard jewlery like d20 necklaces and shit That's it. Nothing else.

What was wrong with the first one?

>no "pat head" option

>Giving a piggyback ride while folded into a pretzel
Are you a wizard?

>normie sexualities
>not shit

It's about the thrill of having no control. You roll the dice and have to go through with it, whether you like it or not. That's why these things exist.

That's not the point. I want to give up control too. But if I was going to force myself to do sexual things determined by dice rolls, which I would, it would be from a real table, not just five options.

"You Choose" shouldn't even be allowed because the whole point of the dice is that I don't choose.

>"What do you want me to do master?"
>"You choose."
Nobody wants that.

This seems adorable. I fear that the rest is...less so.

>I'd be much more upset about the fact that we're stopping what we're doing to roll dice every so often. Talk about killing the mood.
And this is why "so, what system is best for sex mechanics?" is how you spot a hopeless noob in ERPing.

>tfw ERP
>tfw genuinely like dice rolls occasionally to tell me if I manage to avoid rape

Find out exhentai.org/g/926666/05b92a52a7/

(Sauce gotten from an old archived /a/ thread and I haven't actually checked what's inside. Delve on your own risk.)

>>tfw genuinely like dice rolls occasionally to tell me if I manage to avoid rape
That's not what I was saying.
Regular dice based fight encounters /around/ the sex are fine.
"roll how hard you fugg/how long you hold out" is where it gets dumb.

Fuck you. If you have never had somebody deeply blow your ass then what are you even doing?

>Only d6
Make it d20 and we'll talk. Or, at least, a dice pool.

Then we cool.

>bite ass

That's simple. The harder part is how you dispose of a child afterwards.

This isn't /tv/....

Yam is great. Almost as good as Tamagoro

>Blow Navel
You just put your lips on their stomach and make farting noises. Girl love it.

I totally want to play Installations and Illithids.

I was going to say that, my domme uses a large bumble hooves in her harness.

Tell him to roll phoenix command while everyone use grenades
with 2 specific granades, you must 2000 damage rolls if the granades explode close enought to someone.

It looks cheap as fuck. I bet those paper stickers will fall off in few weeks.

>im 12

We can tell