Mecha Space Pirate Quest XXXVII

>[Ask about Domon]

>Ask fighting style
>Ask about Domon
What chores can a tiger actually do?

AWW YISSSSSSSS MECHA SPACE PIRATE QUEST LIVE AND RUNNING WOOOO

>>[ASK ABOUT HIS FIGHTING STYLE]
"Master, is there anyway to speed this up? I have quite a fair bit of experience in punching butts into submission."

Catch dinner

Thats the best way to get your shit kicked in. There is no shortcuts when it comes to mastery of the body. Expect Master Asia to force a living hell of training on you.

"Master, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" A little conversation helps pass the time as you pummel the sand.

"Don't rush. Keep your pace steady or you'll just wear yourself out. You're made of good stone, boy, but the edges are too rough and need to be chipped away for the true shape of your technique to emerge." The Undefeated flips his braid over his shoulder and sits lotus-style on the ground, "It's not as interesting a story as you might think, there were a lot of us old relics left to rust after the War. I was one of them. I'd lost my wife to the Green Men's killing spores, and my daughter died fighting them. After the fighting was done, I was a wreck. There was no place for me in the UJCIDF with their fancy swords and fancy uniforms and fancy laws, so I retired. I did my best to get lost in the most backwater colony I could find, to find some kind of peace and master tranquility. I didn't count on that cyclops girl showing up and taking over the place, sometimes I think about moving on, but I've got roots here now and rebuilding the cabin would be a pain. I'd been an interplanetary martial arts champion even before the War, but I didn't discover the true secrets of fighting until I removed myself from the world for a while and mastered the way of Void."

"Her name is Rosita, don't call her a cyclops." Your voice must have come out a little sharper than you anticipated, because he glances at you with one eyebrow raised, "Sorry Master, but she wouldn't like that and neither do I."

His amused expression becomes a smirk.

"Anyway, what is this style called?" You're familiar with martial arts from extensive simflick-watching. A good fighting movie is one of the few things you, Yoritomo, and Richard can all enjoy when you have a guys' night and hang out. In your experience, all martial arts taught by mysterious old men have fancy names like First Pulse Style, Iron Palm, Heaven's Blessing, Golden Crane, or Fist of the North Star.

[Continued]

I wonder how long its going to take before Wong decides to use some One Piece portrates for characters

>Fist of the North star

oh yes

>or Fist of the North Star
Oda, you man of good taste.

Oh boy, we about to gib some mechas.

Did you see what Master Asia can do to mechs?

"Fighting."

"Just fighting?" You can't help feeling slightly disappointed.

"Well, if you want to be fancy you could call it 'Invincible Void Fist' or something, but it's all just fighting really, really well." He shrugs, "Fighting is simply existing in a state of violence. It isn't just what you do, it's how you, you personally, live. I say void because the void is at the heart of this style. The void surrounds us, the void is inside of us, the void is all elements and none simultaneously. In every classical depiction of the elements, void is there, whether it is acknowledged or not. Need no weapon, suffer no illusions, see with clear eyes the reality of the galaxy as it is, endure no distractions, strike without hesitation, all of that. The empty hand itself is your weapon, the only one that can truly be considered a real extension of your body. Although a certain young soldier under my command back during my soldiering days once argued extensively with me about this. I may be right, but I think his views were more popular. They certainly are easy to teach. I can teach anyone the basics of close-quarters combat, but to truly master my style one must be familiar with but not tainted by any weapons besides their own fists and feet." He explains.

"I've fired a handgun once or twice." You admit.

He holds up a cautionary finger, "Maybe, but your instinct isn't to go for your gun. You were wearing it when I attacked you, and you didn't even twitch towards it, I was watching. Perhaps you even forgot you had it there. I have seen people better than you, but none of them had the same sheer, bloody-handed determination to win by punching my face in that you did."

"Thanks, I guess. Master, how long do I have to keep doing this?" Your knuckles, callused as they are, are starting to sting from the sand's constant scouring as your fists beat out a drumbeat on the sediment as rhythmic as a heartbeat.

"Just a few more hours, it's your first day."

[Continued]

>Master taught Stern

Can't wait till we see Stern again and he sees our new fighting style

"So...what's with Domon?" You ask. You've been wondering about the tiger, he seems oddly well-behaved for what simflicks have led you to believe are beautiful but extremely dangerous creatures.

"You mean your Senior Brother? I've given him a little training, too. Both of you came to me already capable of mauling your average human being, both of you needed help to reach your true potential. Of course, my style is better suited to a human being, but since Domon weighs over eight hundred pounds and can run down a deer without exerting himself I don't think he minds."

You think about this for a minute. It does, admittedly, make sense. "How did you get a tiger in the first place?" You can't exactly imagine a cute little baby Domon sitting expectantly in the window of a pet shop waiting for someone to adopt him.

"I didn't. Your Rosita did. She was holding a concert, and somehow she got it into her head that she needed a tiger cub as a prop. Genetically modified animals are still a legal grey area, it's possible she got one that was a little smarter than usual off the black market, but it's hard to tell, he's dumber than a box of rocks most of the time. Anyway, he escaped into the woods, or maybe she just stopped paying attention to him once the show was over and he slipped away. He stole my dinner, so I decided to have him pay his debt and taught him to guard the house when I'm not home." He shrugs.

You continue punching, "Master, wouldn't you have to be away from home less if you lived closer to town?"

The Undefeated snorts, "Not worth the trouble. I don't like people, most of them, and most people don't like me either. Maybe that's why I get along with Domon so well, tigers normally live a solitary existence. That's just my preference, though, I'm not planning on making you adopt a monastic lifestyle as a forest-dwelling hermit or anything away from your crew and your women."

[Continued]

We gotta punish Rosita when we get back.

You say that, but then he pulls out his Big ol beam sword that is 20 kills o damage, quick, and hyper that happens to be worth about 60 cp or so. It can be done, but it is most definetly a 'skill only' weapon.

Oh, there are plenty of cruel attributes an EMW can have.

He grins, "Speaking of, who was that cute little number you were with the other night, with the dark hair and big eyes? I recognized her stance, and she's got good reflexes, I bet I can guess who her teacher is. She was pretty protective of you, too." He waggles his eyebrows.

"Samantha." You know, punching sand really does start to hurt after a while.

"I saw you grin when you mentioned Red Siren's real name earlier. Both of them are okay with whatever arrangement you've got with them?" He laughs, crossing his arms over his chest.

You just grin.

"Attaboy. Anyway, your training won't just be punching. After this, I'm going to have you kick trees until your calves bleed, then we'll meditate, followed by an evening jog. We're not just making you a better fighter, the way of the void will improve your general athleticism and your senses as well..." He suddenly sits up, glancing off into the woods, the tone of his voice becoming slightly more terse as though annoyed with something, "By the way, stay on this side of the forest, the other side of these mountains is dangerous for you right now."

"Why, Master?" You're not used to anything being dangerous to you that you can't either beat down or don't have a prayer of winning against.

"It just is. There's a soul too tainted to teach, too strong to leave alone, and not strong enough to kill, living out there. I bet he's trying to poach my game again." The Undefeated stands up, sighing and dusting himself off, "Time to go pummel him again." With a single leap, he lands in the treetops, springing away more like a gibbon than a man.

You continue punching. The artificially-induced clouds slowly move, the only sense you have that time is passing.

>[Roll 1d10+9]

Rolled 10 + 9 (1d10 + 9)

TIME FOR TRAINING MONTAGE

youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE

Rolled 5 + 9 (1d10 + 9)

For Victory

Quick derailing question. When hit, the damage of the weapon is subtracted by the stopping power of the armor and the total kills of the servo, yes?

Rolled 7 + 9 (1d10 + 9)

>DamnSon.jpg

It his everything at the same time. If this thing hits you, EVERY part of you takes a hit for 20 kills. Hyper is HORRIFYING for it's cost, but the result is even scarier if you go high enough, since it can guarantee blinding a mech with a weak head, clipping wings, and gibbing smaller machines with a hit.

Oh yeah. Solid Melee weapons are more 'screw your fancy shit' when it comes to armor piercing and disruptive for armor and reactive shields. Also, that book is horrifying for a creative mind. Showed it to my buddy and let him use 140 cp. First he made a hover tank, then he started laughing about space bees, size rules, and the drone systems.

I'm not sure what you mean. You subtract the SP of the servo (its armor) from the damage, the SP goes down by one (barring Beta/Gamma armor shenanigans), and the rest is dealt in damage to the servo. For instance, let's say you have a servo with 7 Kills and 4 SP of armor, and you hit it with a 10 Kill attack. 4 Kills would be stopped by the armor, which would then be reduced to 3 SP, and the remaining damage would reduce the servo to 1 Kill.

Yes. Although the book could stand to be a bit more clear on whether a drone gets MV based on its own weight or the weight of the controlling machine, in my opinion, there are a lot of extremely cruel things you can do with it.

This is part of the reason why Soul A is so effective with its current lineup. Caesar is an absolute terror against enemy aces because he can put out so much damage that it can pierce almost any reactive shield on a charge (granted, Ave Caesar is the quest's own invention, normally you can't perform the Drop maneuver with a weapon) and does ridiculous Armor Piercing damage, Naomi is a fragile mook swarm's worst nightmare, and Pierre can both wreck things with his AoE Burst missiles and is pretty dangerous to anyone with his beam axes and active shield tail, making him versatile despite having the cheapest existing SOUL mech.

You settle into a stance, get out your PC, put on some Joe Esposito on loop and let the music reinvigorate your soul while you get to work. You're the best around, and nothing's gonna ever keep you down. Your knuckles drum the sand in time with the beat, humming along. You think about your brother. You think about the Avalonians. You think about that dumb kid with the beam cannon and imagine beating him over the head with it while he cries. You think about punching General Fairchild so hard it shoots her straight through the hull of her ship and into space on a direct course for the sun. Even as sweat trickles down your back and along your chin, you find yourself smiling. The sand scrapes your knuckles raw, but you already know from your own experiences that strength is never gained without some measure of pain.

A thin, reedy sound interrupts your musings and training. Slowing down a little, you look around and catch it again, from the direction opposite the one the Undefeated headed towards.

"Help! Someone, help! Please!" It's a woman's voice.

>[Keep training]
>[Investigate]

>>[Investigate]

Roarke is always willing to help a lady if shes pretty

>[Investigate]

I hope there is a special place in hell for the person who decided automatic mandatory restarts for updates was a good idea for computers. I hope it involves having his testicles peeled by angry scorpions. That took entirely too long to resolve.

We're gentleman pirates. We're always there for ladies in distressexcept if they SJW-tier crazy

She is

It's the job to pave hell's pavement with frozen lawyers.

Oh boy I can already imagine the other waifus reactions when we bring back another one from a training trip

>[Investigate]
Standard Wuxia tropes dictate that we should always investigate women in danger. They also dictate that we will often see (but not yet recognize) the primary antagonist in scenes such as these.

Did you end up binging Wulin Hero Quest over the past few days, Wong?

SPACE SKINWALKER!!!!! WE MUST KILL IT WITH OUR BARE HANDS!
>[Investigate]

Of course you're going to investigate, you're Admiral Roarke Starwind.

The Undefeated left out a bucket full of water and a ladle, and you pour some of the water over your head to cool off before jogging into the woods.

Up ahead, you see Domon, sitting quite patiently near the edge of one of the tiger traps you nearly fell into on your way up here. The delicate lattice of slender wood has snapped, and you hear a scrambling from inside the hole, followed by a thud and a little "Oof!" The tiger somehow manages to look amused, licking one of his tremendous paws lazily.

That voice sounds pretty familiar, actually.

You glance down into the pit, and your suspicions are confirmed. Her dirt-smudged face is suddenly wreathed in a smile, her braids waving behind her as she jumps up and tries to grab for you. Karen's glasses are askew, and she's supplemented her usual cheongsam and toolbelt...complete with her wrench...with a huge backpack clearly stuffed full of things. That, plus the picnic basket hanging from her elbow, are making it even more difficult to climb out than usual.

[Continued]

Damnit Wong you had me all excited about a new girl, and its just Karen

>Go back to training

Yes. Unsuccessful fish-thief is love, unsuccessful fish-thief is life. It's hard knowing that it ended too soon, just like every Legends of the Wulin game I've played in.

The mental image is hilarious but you're going to hell if you abandon First Waifu.

>Go back to training

we're training WITH A PURPOSE karen. leave the basket and leave. i'll nom the food later.

Let me amend that [Continued]

>[Be kind to her and help]
>[Tease her, then help her out]
>[Just go back to training]

This made me laugh a lot harder than it had any right to

tease her then go back to training

>>[Tease her, then help her out]
Come on Karen, while it's nice you came here, we are going to have to tease you relentlessly.

>[Tease her, then help her out]

All the other waifus would be disappointed if we left her, but tell her we have to focus on our training and that she should go back after a very quick lunch

>[Cover the hole with leaves]
>[Just go back to training]
We got bags of sands to punch.

>[Be kind to her and help]
>[Then tease her, before going back to training]
Dammit Karen. The gesture is appreciated, but is 'hermitic training secluded from external distractions' really so difficult to understand?

When are the other three going to show up?

>Finally a Karen scene
>The Karen-hater and Thunderbird are both here

Being Best Girl is suffering.

>Best girl? I don't see Sam or Clemmy here

My anti-Karen and Pro-trap stance has been very clear since the beginning

Childhood Friends invariably have to put up with a lot of shit. They always have the hardest path to victory, no matter how much heart they have. It's such a staple of the genre that you can't quite begrudge your fellow questers for it.

>Karen sabotages our chance to hone our martial skills due to her selfishness

Also implying there is only one Karen-hater.

Might as well use this chance to bury her in a dirt hole. No one would know.

Gentlemen, while we must all agree to differ on the matter of who best girl is, we can also agree that every girl's smile is worth protecting (except Fairchild's)?

dude, fairchild isn't a girl. she's a harpy that should burn in the depths of space.

Agreed. It's fine to tease her, but help her out instead of being a dick.

It's not so much that I dislike Karen and I appreciate what she does for the Knuckle Kaiser, But she's just not best girl

While I'm incredibly neutral aside from a massive bias for Grapple-chan, she isn't really sabotaging anything. It only took a few minutes to get here and it's not as if you're losing out on IP because you helped a girl.

Well, there is still Fairchild's neice, first mate who is likely female, and that green man. Also horrible people who may need a crushing.

..You know, it's been a while since I last seen people willing to crush female villains so thoroughly. It's nice and refreshing.

Sentient IA for Grapple-chan when?

I feel a little bad for Fairchild but fuck her where gonna push her shit in, we need to think up a good revenge for the First Mate though

space blood eagle

Teasing Karen has been a pasttime of yours ever since she started working on your mecha.

Your smile betrays you as you examine the width of the hole, "Your hips must be getting bigger from those meal bars."

"Roarke!" She yelps, glaring and crossing her arms.

You smile innocently at her and gather up some leafy sticks.

"Y-you idiot, don't you dare! I'll reprogram the Kaiser to play polka instead of your music and rig the switch so you can't turn it off once it's on!" She huffs.

"What's that? Your voice is just too tiny and squeaky to hear~" You smile sweetly, and begin putting them over the hole in the lattice.

Her lower lip starts to wobble, "You're such a jerk."

>[Roll another 1d10+9]

Lets be honest, Fairchild isn't a girl, Fairchild is an ex hambeast wench molester who only cares about herself. Pic related, Fairchild before and after weight loss nanites.

Rolled 4 + 9 (1d10 + 9)

Do it for Sam Roarke

Rolled 2 + 9 (1d10 + 9)

Anyone else having massive captcha problems tonight?

You can't hear me laughing, imagining how things would be if Clemmy hadn't fallen in love with you and how much the thread would probably hate her, but I assure you I am most mirthful at the moment.

>Theres a universe where we didn't romance Clemmy

Truly a fate worse then death

Did you see my first post? Twenty minutes of refreshing the page and swearing at captcha.

And so your chickens have come home to roost. Give me a 1d10+13 (that's Reflexes+Athletics)

Rolled 5 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

You were saying?

Rolled 1 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

going to use 2 luck for this

See, we're pro gender equal opportunity.

Rolled 7 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

This every time I try to post today

Might be a little too magical realms but cut off her arms and legs and give her to the men

We fall into the hole? Did we give Karen a black eye?

those are the universes where we just romance her later after getting stuck with her on a derelict spaceship and three days of hate sex

Rolled 6 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

Forgot my dice

Seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

Wouldn't be in-character for Roarke, I think. We need a punishment to fit the crime.

i think that's not cruel enough

Simple; We play bye bye miss american pie while our machine's hand slowly squeezes her pod with the chainsaws going on. We say nothing and simply let that song play.

"I wonder, if you plant a Karenseed in the ground, does it grow into a Karentree?" You continue rearranging the sticks, completely oblivious to what's behind you.

A big, stripey face almost as big as your torso bumps forcefully against your back, head lowered and over eight hundred pounds of sleek muscle propelling you forward. You fall right into the hole.

Luckily, you manage to avoid twisting your ankle, and even land on your feet. Domon gazes down on you with the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth in an almost doglike way. With extreme care, he begins mimicing you, starting to pull your dropped bundle of sticks across the hole. Karen stares at you, then starts giggling. You toss your hair back and try to look nonchalant, arms crossed despite the fact that you're standing in a pit in the ground.

"It serves you right." She comments.

>[What say?]

Perhaps, but I will preserve my dignity none the less. Square?

>Don't worry this isn't the first time i've been stuck in a tight hole
>Waggle eyebrows

"Maybe we can use your pig tails as rope and climb out of here? Hold on, I have scissors somewhere."

we can always use an iron maiden. fits his style quiet well.

>"...I meant to do that."
>"Right, let's get out of here before the tiger decides to bury us."

Incidentally, was there ever a proposed gift for Karen?

>They all had the idea to have a picnic date with Roarke while he's training
>We do this three more times

Too funny to not do

An user had an idea to buy her a robot puppy

clemmy actualy succeds because she ties up the roarke in the middle of the night.