The Official MTG Snowstorm/Lore Thread

This one might, but I think it's in a writefagging phase that has some steam left in it.

As someone who wasn't around for the last one, can anyone give me a cliff's notes of what happened? Unless you think talking about it will just make things worse, of course.

Wait
so you're a different Smut user from the one in the IRC?
this happened

I'll be honest, Arakis is nothing compared to our troll.

It was one person making one flake that he refused to change for stupid reasons, despite the fact most other people disliked it.
In this snowstorm, we've got someone who basically churns out horrible snowflakes that he knows we will react poorly to one after another, while purposefully acting in a fashion that he is aware puts off plenty of people in this thread.

Report and hide, user
Report and hide

That is indeed a different person - the one with that name from the IRC hasn't been in these threads at all since the reboot.

I've accidentally stolen someone's identity? This is very distressing news. Maybe I should change it to "New Smut user" to avoid confusion. Or maybe "Reprehensible Filth user". Or "We Really Don't Need This Sort of Content, Thank You user".

That thing looks like a Digimon. Was that really someone's flake?

Yes, in fact that was a common insult used for the guy's flake. The sensible people decided to not argue with him because he refused to change the character to fit MtG's theme and instead kept it so that it suited his 'style' more, whatever that was.

But like, nine out of ten of the flakes on the second sheet are as bad as Arakis if not worse.

>That thing looks like a Digimon.
That's what everyone else said too, actually! And yes, that's the art he had drawn specifically for the bioartificer Arakis (it's the first RUG flake in the old sheet here)
So much was said about this one flake. So much. Goddamn.
I KNOW YOU ARE HERE, ARAKIS user.
I KNOW YOU HAVE GOTTEN BETTER, DESPITE THE FACT THAT I'M PRETTY SURE I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
WE ARGUED SO MUCH OVER THAT DAMN DIGIMON LIZARD HOLY SHIT, BUT YOU WERE NEVER AS BAD AS VRONAK IS.

still not green in the least though

Wow. Well, now I know. Thank you for the quick little history lesson!

I decided that last name was too long and would get obnoxious.

Quick I need Avancynian prayers from before the Helvault breaking.

"We pray to Avacyn on high.
On snow-white wings fearless you fly.
Keep safe our souls. Keep safe our lives.
May angels watch us from the skies."
—Children's prayer

The theme of the flake was that it was a viashino that gained intelligence and has the specific motivation of hating the idea of death. In fact, he hated death so much he wanted to destroy the concept of death, not just for himself but for all creatures.

He proceeded to argue his character was still green because he mainly used growth and strength-bolstering magic as his magic of choice.

Reposting new Acervus FOR GREAT JUSTICE

>With black's fierce individualism they hope to overpower the Eldrazi hive mind.

Reminds me of the flavor text on the most recent reprint of Grasp of Darkness. I like that it also just so happens that Grasp of Darkness kills Thought-Knot Seer and that newly spoiled Town'rakul meld card. Obviously it kills a lot of other things, too, but it was just something I noticed.

My favorite thing about Magic is lore and flavor interacting with the game mechanics themselves.

...

>Daily reminder that everyone who is Team Sorin is literally Chandere.

Daily reminder that Nahirifags are literally mentally retarded and actually believe it's perfectly justified to decimate an entire dimension because the big bad vampire hurt your poor wittle feewings.

actually, his old version's "dying" act was to avert this, seeing the error of his ways but being unable to stop his own experiment. The new version does not have the same philosophy. At all, in fact.

he's fairly different now, but the trouble trying to post any material about it would cause isn't desirable to any party here in contrast to the enjoyment of the current flakes already here, so I'll refrain from doing so.

I like digimon, so that's fine, magic's visual style can fight me.

Well, Emrakul's gonna devastate some plane or another. Might as well be this backwater shithole that needs an asshole's convoluted life support system just to not kill itself instead of a plane that's actually important

I have never seen this before and it looks very interesting. I've looked through the repository but I don't necessarily see any instructions. How does one go about joining in, if indeed that is still a possibility?

Reposting Jayala, the artificer we may or may not have needed or deserved.

>Jayala a cute

>inb4 she gets in a fight with Cala, who happens in and breaks some of her stuff

I like it!

Also, is anyone else excited about going to Kaladesh? As a Standard player (also known as gutter trash), I'm excited to have an artifact block in the same rotation as BFZ. Can my dreams of an all-colorless deck in Standard come true? Walker of the Wastes, has your time come?

I hope it augments my UR prowess deck to janky goodness since it is losing nothing with Origins and Dragons leaving.
Also, working on The Cathar's origin story.

UR, maybe, but seems to be more U than R.

Tried to balance that out a little bit with her whole spark ignition story- at the end of the day, she always wants a little more than she has. Not Black, because she's not selfish about it and she's willing to work normally to get there, but she is driven by those desires.

At least, that's how I justify it. She may very well tend a little closer to Blue overall, which is a good thing given all the time she's spending on Fiora...

I need to read up on everyone else's flakes way more now that I've made a passable one, aaaaaa-

>Inventor
VS
>Knowledge-thirsty, but prone to fits of chaos

Oooooooh boy... That's a UR face-off if I ever saw one.

FINALLY GOT VENN'S SHEET DONE.

OP OP, I SUMMON THEE. PLACE THIS FILE IN THE REPOSITORY.

Oh, thank goodness. Someone that bothered to put that they have traveled to the plane that they draw some of their go-to spells from.

>Lightning Bolt
>Lightning Helix
>Path to Exile

I see your flake is a Modern player!

To be fair I play Modern myself, and I started playing magic during Darksteel. So I have none of the better burn spells from pre-8th

Wait, people don't do that? How the fuck does that make sense?

I think the way it happens is that people think up a backstory for their flake, then they decide on the deck archetype their flake might play and start looking for cards. But at that point, they're thinking less about the backstory and more about the archetype. The game and the lore don't always connect in people's minds and I think they just don't notice. It's a pretty understandable mistake, depending on the flake.

Hey Venn! We should start planning shit, Serena should be crossing his path soon, I want Ravnica adventures.

Sorry it's taken so long to get that story done - I ended up making a whole new flake in the process, and putting in a lot of completely un-smutty bits. But I think it will turn out really well!

Yes. Yes it does.

> how dare someone use an idea that WotC came up with to model their flake after
> time travel is not canon
> which is why it's happened three separate occasions in canon lore
> can't be replicated
> Urza makes time bubbles
> The events of Retether depict literally an infinite amount of time streams that are manipulated
> Karn (through Urza's incomplete work on a time machine) learned how to travel days and centuries back into time
> Teferi learned how to pluck himself and even an island and a half out of the time streams and have them all reappear at a later date, while time passed for us, none had passed for them
> Sarkhan travelled over a thousand years back in time using Ugin's Nexus
> Tezzeret spoke of time mages known as Clockworkers that teleport through time, both forward and backward
> Clockworkers even manipulate time for individual people while not affecting anything else
> Clockworkers can use time as a bride to parallel universes
> Clockworkers literally manipulated time to make every event in their lives happen how they liked it to happen
> and last but not least, Literally Temporal Magic is a thing

Yes it is, look above.

Yes, because Oby and Garruk didn't get stronger from being cursed. Also, the degree of which Graveborn is stronger is debateable. He just ports his ship through the Blind Eternities. His main crew are already Planeswalkers. And the rest of his crew are zombies he summons once in a plane.

Time Manipulation is all over MtG. Both in lore and in Card form. Saying "it only happened three times" repeatedly doesn't make it true.

Vronak was originally mono Black. The original Flake-user said that to have access to other colors, his identity is domain just like a commander deck. I just went along with it because he made some sense.

I never said it was physical cards. I never said it was anything more than an idea created by R&D. Why are you bitching so much about it?

Graveborn travels with his pirate crew through the Blind Eternities, but is only physically moving his ship. The other crew members that traverse with him are Planeswalkers themselves. He doesn't actually make anyone planeswalk. You're really getting bent out of shape over something you don't even know what you are talking about. How about you take a chillpill and stop going full retard rage over here.

A mono-nothing deck is 100% viable. Especially with Kaladesh coming. If you want to go that route, I say do it.

All you do is you fill in one of these sheets. Come up with a character that you think would be a cool planeswalker and start writing and pasting.

Small sheet. Use big sheet.

That was before the original flake-user got sick of you and regretted ever defending anything you ever made.
With those horrible artifacts? Ew. Bigger is not better.

Pffsh. Original flake-user had no problem with me.

What, you carry more than three artifacts with you?

All this talk of time travel makes me wonder how the two Serena's would interact, to be honest it would probably end up with W Serena hugging the sad out of R/W Serena.

All right, everyone, sorry for the great delay. I've got a new flake, and a new story that starts out not particularly lewd or silly but gets lewder and sillier as it goes on. With Serena in it.

pastebin.com/UL37mEai (NSFW!)

It also ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I think that's ultimately a good thing. And for those of who you aren't fans of this reprehensible filth, I sincerely apologize. It's what I do.

youtu.be/7wfYIMyS_dI

The sleeper has awakened...

Now, wtf is up with all these deleted comments?

Idk, could I trouble you to change the snowsheet to contain the updated Serena instead?

OH BOY! Time to read.

My body has hit full circle, i'm up early now.

Probably. I'm not snowanon, but I'm sure I could do it. But it's 7:00 am atm, and I'll be at work soon. So I probably won't get to it for about 10 hours.

Serena's maker can be patient and wait for a normal update like everyone else. But sure, I'll do it.

I'm easily the most patient person you will ever interact with.

Fair warning though, if I forget I might add on the second Serena as a separate flake rather than replace the old one with it.

That's cool.

We probably could end up with some time shenanigans and have Lord Æon bring mono-white Serena with him and end up having an encounter with the WR Serena. Then you can have both Serenas on the flake sheet.

Please don't.

That was fucking ace, I smiled the whole way through, I love some humour in my smut. Also the spark ignition through orgasm was great. A solid 8/10.

Strangely enough I was thinking while looking at the original Serena card that she's basically a Helvault in game terms, maybe that's where she puts them.

>O Avacyn what will we do without the Helvault to imprison the demons?
Serena, I think I have an idea...
>Oh? What is i- Avacyn no!
AVACYN YES!

Or something, Idk.

> exile target Demon
> Serena's Boobs gets +X/+X where X is that creature's power.

...

>Hey friend have this Demonic Pact, it's only slightly used. No really... I insist.

If we don't get a sword duel showdown between Sorin and Nahiri to Duel of the Fates by the end of this block I will fucking riot.

Sorin is so unbelievably better at fighting that Nahiri is, I cannot see any physical battle between them that would not be massively one sided. Killing fuckers is what he does best, she just makes things.

Nahiri makes weapons though. She makes Sword of Light and Shadow and she wins. Not that she would forge that sword, but you get the idea. She doesn't need skill if she has raw advantage.

I'd argue that she would indeed have to learn how to make the things she forged, considering she WAS an old walker before SOMEBODY fucked up Sparks.

So she has to have the Experience, maybe not more than Sorin does as Vampire but, still it has never properly explained if she is indeed a master Swordman alongside Blacksmith...if fantasy tropes are true, then she is indeed.

Hey you have to have some level of skill with a blade to know how to make it. How it needs to be shaped, how to balance it, ect. They may not be master swordsmen, but smiths almost certainly had some skill with weaponry.

I won't argue that, I just mean...if you give a Soldier the blade they know how to swing it and wield it in a martial way that your average smith wouldn't be able to figure out...

Of course, we're dealing with Fantasy Smiths and in popular Fantasy and Fiction being a Master Smith = being a Master Swordsman or whatever.

Someone hasn't watched SAO.

Yeah, people with taste.

*AIRHORNS*

Oh, you would like it, Serena.

Hit the brakes?

Sick burn is as sick as going perfect woth a legacy burn monored.

I want to see her stumble to a myr reservoir built by the Messenger. Then things advance on the natural course.

So...uhhhh....

I wrote a poem for Gaia. It's a hymn human children used to sing to the "Earth Mother" back on her plane. Y'know, before everything died.

Please be gentle. This is the second poem I've written in as many years. I don't do this for a living.

___________

Fated mother from on High
On midnight dreams do you fly.
O'er high hill, passed wooden glade
To all your children, blessed made.
When babes do keen and soldiers fell,
Your hand to comfort yon deathly knell.
In times of peace, twixt war-torn days
All things rejoice in high-noon rays.

O' blessed Mother, we sing to thee,
Our voice to yield prosperity.

An' when last we pass that lifely test,
Your light we follow to final rest.

Here's the latest picture of R/W Serena alongside Murdock, burning shit. It's the scene from near the end of my latest writefagging, when the humans arrive at the scene.

I hope that village had insurance...

>Filename
And there go my sides

Looks like a comic book cover with the pinched waist.

I know it is actually among the best portable device cameras out there but damn doesn't my tablet's camera suck. I need a bigger scan.

It does, I really like the design, like I could genuinely see this as the front cover to a comic about Murdock and Serena fighting Eldrazi and shit.

I'm super happy with it.

Serena is all like PURGE
Murdock is wondering why she's here.

Murdock just knows that she needs to be friends with the angry angel so that she doesn't get purged to.

And she still has no idea really.

>yfw everyone who ever sang that is mega-dead

...

If anyone here has seen DHMIS, which flakes would you have as the main characters? I need this for... reasons.

>Serena eventually goes full inquisition, the whole "if you're not with me, you're against me. " shtick.
>she eventually gets black and wherever she looks there are new enemies.
>thus is the sad tale of Serena the angel.

What does that mean?

>DHMIS
What?