Tell me about your character, Veeky Forums!

Human male fighter who wields a sword, shield, and spear. He's interested in money, but will try to do the right thing when he can.

My character will be the alternate personality of one of the current PC's in my campaign. Me and another guy agreed to co-GM, where when one GM's the other person controls the character and so on.

On a personal note he is a relatively spiritual necromancer. Someone who has been trained to use his magic to let spirits pass on, to be a guide for otherworldly concerns people might have. Someone who will occasionally use talk to the dead to let people say goodbye to their loved ones, rather than just using it for information, etc.

The best description I can come up with is a battle shounen protagonist. A mage with very limited power who instead uses SCIENCE as a shortcut to make up for his lack of power by getting the natural world to do his work for him.

I made him to mess with an ERP, obviously his kink is sex between a consenting married couple for the purpouse of reproduction or bonding.

Phoenix Wright-style lawyer bard whose magic focuses on support and investigation, and is tied to the character's confidence, so whenever he becomes unsure of himself he has a chance of being unable to cast his spells

It's my first time using a character with actual gameplay-affecting flaws, so I'm hoping it goes well

>"...his father was a demon king and his mother was an angel princess. As such, he has a black halo floating over his head, he also has white long hair that cover one eye and he wears fingerless gloves. His sword is named Angel Slayer on account of his personal crusade against the heavens and God. His name is Lucifer, The Light Bearer because he frequently burns down churches murdering all of the clergy where ever he discovers them thus freeing the blinded religious peasants and letting them see the true "light": only the strong will survive. This causes him to constantly be chased by paladins from various chivarlic and knightly orders whom he slays with ease. Also dual wields cross bow pistols that fire with the same potency, accuracy and speed as modern handguns. Also trained by a ninja grand master before he slayed him out of boredom. He's intelligent, nihlistic and with a wicked sense of humor."

Half Giant Fighter, in a Dark Sun game.

Nothing super special about him, he's the son of former slaves, and mostly works as a merc. His goal is to raise an army big enough to start overthrowing the cities, and he takes special delight in getting to murder templars or former templars.

Had some fun last game when we were faced with a big room of enemies, and we were trying to lure them into a hallway so we wouldn't get surrounded. Ended up solving that issue by hunting tricks: tied rope to one of my javelins, charged into the room, speared their leader, and then dragged her out to get everyone to follow me.

Reminds me of Monster Hunter.

Does he smoke cigars?

>moralfagging in Shadowrun
Good luck with that.

What was the threat?

Proved you wrong, nyeh.

You do you.

Merc work, I take it?

I'm in a one-on-one campaign with swapping too. Not sharing one character, though. That's a neat twist.

Filthy degenerate!

I'm not familiar with Dark Sun, are cityfolk dicks?

Tobias Nufruten: Genius Scientist

Ghostbuster, turncoat, doctor, fighter, Iteration X Comptroller, nerd.

With his trusty crowbar, faithful assistants, and judicious applications of Science, he's able to make his city a bit safer to walk the night. Ultraviolence is his game, and he plays the part well.

A decker that was involved in the quarantine in bug city. Has flashbacks whenever he uses Ares Tech.

In Dark Sun, everyone's a dick.

But to be more specific, the cities are all ruled by Dragon Kings, powerful beings who are all pretty evil.

>Merc work, I take it?

Yeah. I've found that in all my years of playing RPGs, no one has actually played as a "generic" human male fighter.

She's a mage.
With no spells.
Just show magic. (Card tricks, pulling stuff from hats)
And a cute pet bunny.
[Spoiler]the twist is that the bunny is magic and does all the tricks using real magic [/spoiler]

Necromancer, obsessed with death, conducts horrific human sacrifices to honor the gods of the dead, may or may not have any actual magical ability, does lots of tarot reading and cold-reading style "mediumship".

did tg disable spoilers

Well... What could go wrong?
Morion Ontilius was the son of a Trading Company Owner, Braden, who focused on transporting goods via ships. During the night, Morion would masquerade as "Eltanin", an Assassin who would kill associates of rival Trading Companies, Thieves of Braden's company, and anyone else that would dare interfere with Family Affairs.
Morion would say that he spent the night on the town, covering up the fact that he was Eltanin. Everyone believed it, and this kept on going. Eventually, the town guard was tasked with hunting Eltanin, just after every obstacle of his father's Trading Company were erased entirely. Things settled down for a long while.
At least, until a gypsy cursed Morion's Father after he cheated in a gamble. His avarice would plague the Ontilius Bloodline forever.
Following another gamble, Braden played Prophet's Gambit with the Captain of a friendly Pirate Fleet. The Pirate, Morgana, made a deal. She'd bet three of the ten of her ships, crew and all, if Braden had anti'd his own son and is indentured servitude. This, for Braden, was a once-in-a-life-time opportunity, so he accepted. There's no way he could've lost, but he did.
That night, Braden had realized what he had done, as a Greed Devil spoke to him, hauntingly, and said "Your blood is MINE".
Morion was taken away by pirates at sunrise, and never seen again.

20 years later, a ship sets sail on land. It's a rickety old Pirate's Ship. A lone, Half-Elven man comes off the ship. Adorned in numerous Scimitars, Rapiers, Court Blades, and bottles of Rum, the man takes off his Tri-corn hat. He explains to the Town Guard that his name is Eltanin, and he is in search of Braden Ontilius.
So began the quest of a Swashbuckler.

I'm playing Sven Appleman, party bard. My dad was a disgraced priest who was seduced by a milkmaid. I was raised in a monastery, and learned how to read, write, sing and play music in my spare time. The monastery I lived at was famous for the hard cider the priests made, so pretty much anyone who lived there took on some apple-related name. The setting is a generic Medieval European map.

I've spent almost all of my spare time in-game making a printing press to produce cheap literature, while setting up a traveling theatre for our party to use as cover while we go murder-hoboing around the countryside. We kind of have a circus theme going, with me as the noisy, obnoxious ringleader.

I will use the aforementioned printing press to make bulk flyers announcing our arrival to nearby towns, and also make erotic fiction for minor lords and nobles to buy. I produce a topless calendar (hand-drawn) for peasants to buy when we visit towns. All of the flyers I make have pictures showing off the various cool things we can do (wizard shooting flames, barbarian dual-wielding axes, rogue juggling and looking sexy, halfling doing acrobatics, Orc just looking scary AF) with little captions explaining them at the bottom, with a little watermark at the bottom of each one, an apple. I'm slowly introducing literacy to this world.

As far as I'm concerned, all of our questing the party is auxiliary to my interests; I'm trying to set the seeds for a literate populace to become more liberal over time, and more accepting of strange and bizarre ideas. I'm going to start changing the flyers to show the big scary Orc next to the rogue, and then at some point have the Orc be in the same caption as the Orc, to get people normalized to the idea of them being together. I'm also going to start changing my little erotic fictions I'm selling to nobles to include Orc/human scenes. I'm also changing the topless calendar by throwing in some semi-nude drawings of the barbarian.

Years of Piracy had led Eltanin Morion Ontilius off the deep end. He wanted Gold, Beer, Women, Blood... But most of all, he wanted revenge. He'd have his father's head, and after that.... Well, Eltanin had an agenda beyond that. He would hunt for the Secret of Immortality.
He did it, and eventually held a mage hostage, high-jacked an experimental air ship, and took to the skies, where the Greed Devil had revealed himself to Eltanin. He scoffed the Pirate for being more unreasonably avaricious than the Devil himself. Eltanin took this as a challenge, just as the hostage mage had casted a spell in a desperate attempt to destroy the Pirate and the Demon. Helplessly, he ripped the fabric of Space-Time and sent the two through it. It is there, where Eltanin lie in an eternal Combat with the very Devil that set him down the road of Greed.
Eltanin was a Swashbuckler 10/Dervish 5/Duelist 5 in a 3.5 Setting. And he rekt shit.

Half elf with her dad's broadsword, became a mercenary because her home country had an official policy of ELVES A SHIT.

Along with running the circus and my anarchy flyers, I also know how to make a mean brew, so whenever I go to town, I buy as much raw fruit and corn as possible, and make sour mash with the corn, then improve the flavor with fruit. I don't teach the peasants how to make this liquor, but considering their principal alcoholic beverage is mead or watery beer, my corn alcohol is very addictive, so they're willing to pay out the nose to get it, and other towns are fairly receptive to us when we come in, because they've all heard about our amazing firewater that will put a fire in your gut. I will often teach the nobles how to make it, but leave out important aspects of the recipe, so they will get something close to it, but never actually make something as good as I can brew. So there's a constant demand from other villages for the really good liquor.

Naturally, alcoholism is steadily increasing in areas we visit, production is down, but the people are ultimately happy and content. Nobody is at the point yet where it's worth it to start stealing, but I'm sure I can create some wildly addictive substance.

I guess what I'm going for in this character is total eradication of the social norms, to weaken the nobles grip on the peasantry, educate them enough so that I can indoctrinate them with my poisonous ideals, then sweep around the countryside with my party stealing and killing at our pleasure as anarchy reigns.

Also, my name is part of the joke. As I mentioned before, I put watermarks on everything I do, a image of an apple, to remind people who printed it, who distributed it. Most of the NPC's don't know who the fuck Sven Appleman is, but they do know that little apple logo. I'm going to change my stage name to, "the Juice", a play on Appleman. When the people finally wake up (if they ever do) I want at least some person, at the table, or an NPC, to say, "The Juice did this."

Then I can kill my character and start again.

What do you think, Veeky Forums?

My character is that minus the sword. He wants to take over the world someday.

Well, Sven... It sounds like you and Eltanin would get along quite well.

>son of a human innkeeper
>good at listening, collecting knowledge about the world and baking
>huge problems with authority since all his elder siblings died in stupid wars
>and then his father prevented him from avoiding the draft
>served as a soldier and healer
>fled a battle as his overlord got killed and the tide turned against them
>now called into another world by a raven god of knowledge
>to fight for freedom as his cleric
>currently equipped with a long spear, a club, a sling, and a magic ring gifted to him by the god
This is my first DnD campaign of all time, and I'm really excited for it, even though it's just online and text-based.

3.5e Evil Monk/Swordsage gestalt who DM houseruled can use flurry of blows and weapon finesse with his magic katana. He's a sophisticated intellectual who likes fine wine and killing people with glorious nippon steel folded over a thousand times. He can turn invisible as a free action every three rounds.

Does this build make you happy Veeky Forums
Does it fill you with joy
Tell me of your joy

sounds rather in-depth and well thought out for a walking metaphor for a certain sociopolitical group and set up for a single pun.

One of my favorite characters was a Guardsman in Dark Heresy.

He was drafted into his regiment against his will, and during his first battle he couldn't take it. He broke from his position and ran. A lot of guys died because he fled his post. He was caught hiding in a bunker and was sent to a penal legion.

In the penal legion, they were being herded up for a suicidal assault on an enemy position. Since discipline isn't exactly high in the penal legions, my Guardsman came across a legionnaire who was getting hammered drunk on some stolen Amasec. The drunk guy was going on about how upset he was that he was going to die, never see his beloved family again, how he was innocent but got set up on his homeworld, Corven, it was bullshit, there's no justice in this universe, then he passed out.

Shortly after that a commissar approached the trench they were all in and demanded to know where the guy from Corven was. My Guardsman saw him passed out and just blurted out 'Me! I'm from Corven!'

Commissar tells him to get out of the trench. There's an Inquisitor here to see you.

Inquisitor informs my guy that he is glad to finally meet him. He looked at my file and knows I am innocent, it was all a set up. He needs a special skill that I have, and if I work for him for a few short months, I will soon be reunited with my wife and children with a full Imperial Pardon.

As the lander pulls away from the battlefield, my Guardsman watches as the penal unit he was just with is ordered to assault the enemy defenses and killed to the man.

My Guardsman had some serious mental issues during the campaign. He was constantly paranoid, impulsive, fearful, and plagued with overwhelming guilt and suicidal thoughts.

But even though he knew he deserved to be shot for his actions, he was too afraid to do it himself.

We're running an alternate universe campaign in which our mcu-esqe capeshit setting is now anime weebshit instead. So my character is the alternate reality counterpart to my character from the prime universe. While that character was a solem ex-cop who became a punisher style vigilante who was kind of edgy, this character is the comically edgy magical girl bastard of the Crow and Spawn.

The setup is too long-winded for anyone to get at the table without explanation, but I'll know, and it will amuse me. Also, our group is just pulling in gold from all my schemes, with lots of positive attention from nobles. We rarely need to sleep in taverns and inns anymore; a lot of nobles will offer us some rooms at their mansion when they hear we are in town.

Shila "Ramshead" Chazzwozzer

Missed the original sign up meeting so DM made me an aussie female pilot as punishment sucks for him I played the shit out of her.

It was a firefly type setting, I was the pilot of a junked ship met up with the rest of the crew when they tried to hijack my ship, ended up as they crews pilot.

Run down of some of the things I got up to.

>used a warship as a battering ram.
>used my own ship as a battering ram.
>Used our gunner as a battering ram
>invented the Chazzwozzer Special
>Got arrested for using said special against another ships captain.
>Forced to use our ship as a battering ram rather than get autopiloted into an asteroid
>above event got us caught by pirates
>Chazzwozzered the pirate captain when dm had him interogate me
>became pirate captain
>used pirate ship as a battering ram to get revenge on the dick that forced me to use my ship as a battering ram
>It's surprising what kind of damage a pirate ship traveling sublight speed can do to a small unarmored man.
>got caught by space imperials
>bluffed my way to being an admiral
>used an imperial destroyer as a you guessed it, battering ram to take out imperial HQ
>got off with a warning
>chazzwozzer special on my own captain for abandoning me
>got a new ship
>didn't use it as a battering ram
>captain and crew invented battering ram missiles for me
>group split up due to work and family

His name is Generalissimo Antonio Manuelo Romero Constantino Corono-Modelo de Tekate XX, Peerless Soldier, Dashing Rogue Trader, Knightly Gentleman, Rightful Lord-General of the Tekate Armed Forces, and Savior of the Imperium.

He is basically Don Quixote with the Machismo turned up to like 11. He is ALWAYS sharply dressed, always well-groomed, and has a sizeable amount of chest hair.

He has "accidentally" slept with every female member of his own crew that he knows of (to the point where the women cynically consider it a rite-of-passage to be seduced by the Captain) and all of his men adore him and follow him without question. The sex isn't a focal point of the character, but creates all sorts of background drama between him and the crew (they mock him, but still secretly want him).

He is flashy and ornate as all hell, but his background is that of a poor PDF private who rose in the ranks through charisma and cunning to become the Colonel of the 6th Tekate Rifles. His longtime rival and childhood best friend is his second cousin Rey-Commandante Aguilaro de Tekate VIII, who was raised as landed elite and attended war college before graduating directly into the officers corps of the Tekate 12th Dragoons. They were both equal in skill, but Antonio always managed to eke out ahead of his cousin, who grew to resent his cousins success. Eventually, the two were both put up for promotion to Rey-Commandante of over 15 regiments of Tekate soldiers and the chance to Crusade in the Emperors name. His cousin pulled every string he had and got Antonio a Warrant of Trade instead, and sent him off in the stars in a half-broken vessel, and took command himself.

Antonio has sworn to reclaim his rightful title, yet he will not kill his cousin - he is family, after all. Half of his entire reason for being is to fuck over Aguilaro while also making Tekate itself wealthier - he is still a man of the people, after all.

He's basically a walking Mexican soap opera.

That's actually a real, real interesting character. What happened to him?

He's a Clown gnome that steals shit from NPC's. I made him to piss off my DM.

Oh, forgot to mention the best part: His "tia" follows him around everywhere as his personal assistant. This woman is INCREDIBLY old, but her body modifications make her look like she's a fit mid-50's woman, to the point where nobody (not even Tekate) knows how old she actually is anymore. She's always been a part of his family, though, so he took her with him into space (Because family looks out for each other, unless they steal your career). She is literally the ONLY person who can openly disrespect him, and she'll do it to - she's literally grabbed his ear and twisted it at formal events when he says something foolish, while berating him the entire time for being a child. The best part is that he just sits there and takes it, apologizing profusely, and the dynamic between them is hilariously one-sided - he'll stand his ground in front of Navy Admirals and Eldar Raiders, but he folds like a house of glass cards whenever she lays into him. Nobody actually knows what she DOES, but she's always around, helping him out and pointing out things he's missed.

Science is always fun.

bug city?

That sounds super kawaii.

What setting?

Fun ending to that little story.

That's a pretty ridiculous length to go to for a joke.

I'm imagining her as slavic. I don't know why.

Better get some friends first. Lotta stabbin' to do with just a spear.

You've got a decent character, though I've never been fond of from-another-world types.

Gestalt campaigns are silly.

That's some great shit.

The legs in that picture are bothering me. Fun-sounding campaign though.

Why'd she get along so well with her hijackers?

Sounds like a fantastic campaign. Rogue Traders always have great backstories.

You might be That Guy.

Big Arab guy from the desert, fused with a lightning elemental to stop a prophecy from doing something bad to his village.

Basically Avdol with lightning powers.

Thanks.

His cowardice ended up helping us out of some sticky situations. He was so afraid of conflict that he could talk our way out of fights a lot. Everyone thought he was being intimidating, but in reality he was scared.

The 'skill' that the Inquisitor had hired him for was he was an expert bomb disposal technician who understood a certain type of bomb that was rare and being used by a chaos cult. Of course, my Guardsman had NO IDEA how to actually dismantle a bomb, so a huge point in the campaign was when the Inquisitor thought he had a trump card on the cult leader ('Oh, that sophisticated bomb system you stole the plans for? Joke's on you, I have the man who broke it) and it ended up being a disaster. An entire city got leveled and some very important NPCs died.

Anyway, the inquisitor ended up having a VERY serious talking to with my Guardsman, letting him know that if he wanted he could probably figure out his real name... but it didn't matter what his mother called him, because his real name is COWARD.

As much as the Inquisitor wanted to kill him, he had one last gambit and he needed my Guardsman if it was going to work. It was my Guardsman's last chance at redemption.

The Guardsman had to keep up the facade of a coward and traitor and side with the enemy now that it looked like the Imperial side was going to lose. Even the other PCs didn't know, we had my guy do a sessions where he betrayed the team and everything and I took control of a new character. Then, on the final session, he was critical in freeing the rest of the team (they were all about to be executed) so they could kill the BBG and save the day.

Best campaign ever.

Okay. He's a homeless hobgoblin brawler who lost his home and entire tribe when they fucked up digging a tunnel while he was up on the surface on guard duty. Entire cave came down and he came home to a pile of rubble. He ended up living in a small city on the streets and his only friends were an overly friendly priest of Desna who gave him food in exchange for listening to his sermons and an assassin/courtesan who let him sleep out in front of his manor. He ended up following the priest when he told him about a call for adventurers that paid well and they encountered the courtesan on the road, along with an unwilling tiefling that the priest kept trying to convert, forming one of the most dysfunctional parties ever. After encountering a cyborg and admiring how sturdy and hard to kill it was, he has contracted a local wizard/scientist to graft the pillaged arm and leg on to him so that he can become a stronger fighter.

He is currently the grumpiest, ugliest, smelliest little bastard these people have ever met, and he never bothers to remember names, referring to people by some sort of easy to remember nickname (Sparkles, Horns, Pretty Boy, etc.), and yet he finds himself developing a soft spot for them, though he'll never admit it. He enjoys eating absolutely disgusting things and befriending other smelly, awful creatures, much to the chagrin of everyone else involved, and seems to have developed a natural immunity to anything that should otherwise make him ill, intoxicated or poisoned, which utterly bewilders his fellow adventurers.

Eye Witness Description of the Kel-Dor,

Yes, I saw him, he was playing ja'bast with a few of the locals, he was winning a tidy sum too. I was watching, he won the last four hands and people weren't happy about it. He was pretty tall, taller than your average Corelian that's for sure, not really braod across the shoulders or chest though. His face had all these parts on, I got told they can't breath our air so they were a mask to cover it up, didn't seem to hold him back. His hands were quick with the cards and chips, but I didn't see them do anything they shouldn't of. Saw the other guys did, flipping cards and bending their corners to win back some of their credits He was dressed normally enough but what I did see he had skin that looked like leather, dark orange color. I'll tell you this, he was fracking quick, they all sprang at once and accused him of cheating like it was planned. The Kel-Dor didn't think twice, flipped the table, pulled his blaster and shot one point-blank in the leg and was out before anybody could think. Left with the credits too, straight out the door running down that way.

She's the second daughter and fifth child of a southern duke, from a land that is essentially a blend of Arthurian legend and Game of Thrones. Like many noble children too far down the line to conceivably inherit, she took up knightly training in the hopes of one day questing for her family's lost heirlooms.

After a love affair with the heir of a rival house was discovered by her brother, she was forced to kill said brother in a duel. Fortunately the exact circumstance of the brother's death was never discovered.

She knew that every day she spent in her homeland was another day that their love might be discovered, so to keep her love out of danger, she took up the green cloak of a questing knight and exiled herself. Now she wanders the land with a heavy heart, rooting out evil and injustice where she can.

A normally reclusive wizard who recently discovered the world is going to be facing a coming plague.
Sadly his research is currently being stifled by false claims of racism and genocide compounded by a jealous as piss colleague(a fucking sorc who uses retard-tier philosophy, google sphinx from that one super hero movie for more info).
Now the worlds fate rests on an idiots shoulders who is in no way up to the task despite all eyes being on him and i'm literally his, and the worlds, only hope and it's just eating him up inside that he'll eventually have to break down and ask me for help and i WILL make him beg and say please.
Bonus: he hates my guts OC first and foremost and a similar scenario ran it's course recently where i did, of course, make him publicly beg and say please before i helped so this is all just icing on the cake.

If you're reading this brad, you now know whats coming.

Really preemptive diviner. Tries to cover every corner of every plan, tending to take time up just casting spells and acquiring as much information as possible.
I see this as a counter to the person who stepped in as DM, as he tries to make all these elaborate/obnoxious scenarios and give us no way of learning his inane homebrew, so why not use a class that can know what's happening around every corner and what all his special snowflake NPCs have in mind.

Don't we have a general thread for this? I thought we did?

Bug City is what remains of Chicago, in Shadowrun.
A bunch of bug spirits came in and fucked things up, and now a quarantine is in place.
My character was hired out to defend the wall against anyone trying to break quarantine, and as such, has a bunch of neuroses based on bugs, explosions, and Ares tech.

Make a female paladin. Super high CON, but kind of stupid. Tank everything while my team does the damage. Such is life, but she can never hit anything. Only rolls 20s on stuff that doesnt matter.

>Female paladin
>Meatshield
>Not bright
>Always misses everything

TFW I almost made Darkness from Konosuba

Imagine a young nobleman in a Catholic province. His family earned their wealth by perfecting the process of making exceptional leather in mass quantities, by using acid steam to scour and soften the hides.
This young man had it all: money, naturally, but looks and intelligence, too. When galas and balls were held, he would walk out with a different beautiful woman each time. His schooling was seen to by tutors both intellectual and military, and his friends more like sycophants or roadies: around him so that some of his scraps might fall into their hands.
His parents had high hopes that he would be brought into the Azur Arbiters, the most prestigious military group around. Until then, he ran their leather factory, though his lackadaisical attitude towards work meant he was seldom there.

Then the accident. The acid steam they used required a large amount of specific water to be brought in by trade caravan. Unbeknownst to everyone, that fated shipment contained a slumbering water elemental, who found being boiled alive in a suddenly acidic solution very uncomfortable. The young man, actually at the factory for a cursory inspection of the pipes, received a report that the #3 vat was shaking and making unholy noises, and, curious as he was, he went to inspect. One of the pipes from the vat burst mere feet from him, bathing the front of his upper body in scalding acid mist laced with pure magical energy. The damage to his body was horrific in the extreme. All flesh from his chest up had run like candle wax, where it hadn't sloughed off completely, his eyelids were gone, though their sacrifice saved his eyes. His nose had likewise been obliterated, and the rest of his face became a patchwork of scars.

>cont.
Actually feels cathartic to write it all down like this.
Also, and user, let's hear your character, if you don't mind sharing.

I'm playing a warforged juggernaut named Tombstone. He was built by a blacksmith who made some magic connections in his lifetime and decided he wanted to create something impressive before he died. So he decided to build a living epitaph who would guard his grave and tell his life story to anyone who came by.

After 120 years of no one coming by to ask on account of the giant menacing looking living statue, he forgot most of the speech he's supposed to recite. He also got bored. So when the party came by and recruited him, he saw it as an opportunity to see the world and tell more people the one or two factoids about his creator that he remembers.

The party named him when they asked what he was supposed to be. "I am a tombstone."

Thats fucking awesome dude. I am a man who loves his robo-companions. Any particularly cool shit he's done?

Superhero game, she's basically Doomsday but female. Wasn't intentional, and she wasn't supposed to be a villain, but things went badly to say the least.

The fame, sycophants, women - everything he had taken for granted - gone, like that. In it's place, he was shunned, no longer invited to any events of social import. So he hid himself away, behind a mask, and behind closed doors.

And he started to study proscribed knowledge, looking for a way to undo the damage done to him, no matter the cost. Satanism. The Lilium Faith. Writings of madmen, heretics, and heathens. It wasn't long before he put some of his money towards finding a tutor well-versed in the mystic arts.
And he found one: a man claiming to be no less than a Wizard, who took the young man under his wing, and told him something amazing. The young man had the Gift of Magic, probably from the accident, and that he could teach him how to harness it, and maybe, just maybe, he would be able to learn a spell to restore himself to the handsome rogue he had been.
Years went by, and the young man devoured whatever knowledge his incredibly gifted tutor handed him. And the tutor, seeing his pupil so readily accepting of every occult secret and mystic theorem, began to offer the student something else: power. Over people, over the elements. He spoke of an ancient empire, ruled by wizards, where those without powers were enslaved, and those with were like unto gods. And he spoke of an organization, an order, who sought to bring that magocratic utopia back in this day and age. But while the young man learned of this, he didn't agree with his teacher's philosophy.
After all, wasn't hubris the empire's downfall, much less his own? No good could come of forcing people to bow down to magical might, only ruin. Only fear, loathing, rebellion, and death awaited those who would do so, he countered. And the advance of magic, of science, of knowledge itself, would be stifled by fear, by superstition, by hate.

>cont. again. Going a little overboard, feels like, but enjoying it.

> (You)
>Why'd she get along so well with her hijackers?

They boarded the ship while docked for supplies and ended up firing off a volly of missiles into the hanger since my junkers control panel wasn't labeled and was designed by a mad Aussie, Shila noticed they seemed to be trying to get away from the place in a hurry and since her ship had just blown up several other ships and a hanger Shila had no choice but to steal her supplies and dash back to her ship, while fleeing the "Captain" soon found himself on the end of a Chazzwozzer special during his attempts at seducing my character into helping them.

The Special consists of a lot of sexual flirting and some touching followed by a steel plated boot to the bollocks, needless to say rolling a nat 20 on a kick to the erect penis deals a lot of damage, captain ended up paying me basically all their money not to kick them off my ship, then after the second battering ram incident that totaled my ship the captain promised to acquire a new one for me, which he never follow through with in the end.

But after multiple life saves back and forth despite how they met the crew came together quite well, until one player was moving away so the DM revieled a twist early that his character "engineer" was actually a member of the space imperials tasked with catching us, his plan was to fuck with my ship leading to the whole asteroid issue where I had to special the main controls to disengane the autopilot planting my ship directly in the side of a pirate ship.

Later his character came back as an NPC to which he was promptly sublight speed rammed with a large pirate ship, his player laughed when we told him how he ended up dying since he had moved by that point.

Melika Akmadžić, who commanded the mech Allah's Brofist for the BiH Republic during the Adriatic Wars alongside pilot Katja Lukjanova and loader Envera Selimović.

She was born in Banja Luka to Abid and Nela Akmadžić, but Abid - a photographer - couldn't find work, fell into a deep depression, left Nela, and promptly drank himself to death.

Nela took raising her daughter seriously. She gave her a sturdy education, and an even sturdier moral compass. Maybe too sturdy, in fact, because Melika got expelled from her high school for using a letter opener to threaten a bully who was beating up Katja, who was then just a sickly young immigrant from Slovenia.

She studied mathematics at the University of Sarajevo for a while before dropping out to join the BiH Armed Forces with Katja on the eve of the Adriatic Wars. Together, they were grouped with their loader Envera and assigned a shitty third-hand M-4AŽN, which they named Allah's Brofist.

They earned distinction during the long and arduous campaign to break the Siege of Prijedor, but shortly afterwards, their mech was disabled by a long-range anti-mech missile. Since nations in this setting are only nominal entities, the mega corp that actually owned their mech repossessed both it and their contracts.

A few years later, they're nearly done working off their contract, but now one of the other mega corporations decided to declare Actual War on everyone else, nominally to restore power to nations, but without any discernible plans to do so. Melika and her crew are unimpressed, and are mostly just tired of hearing everyone go on about how this whole war thing is somehow new and unusual.

Nice. One of my friends runs silly one shots from time to time, so I might have to steal this idea.

Damn man, you're not kidding. It sounds like your GM must've been pretty proactive in setting all this up too.

Thanks! He's a dim guy so most of the fun stuff he does are really the little things.
>he went to a town jail, saw it was empty, asked the jailer if he could take the bars and used his 20 Str and a nat20 to pull out the bars and use them as weapons
>we went to one characters home town where part of a rite of passage is getting your own fairy, Ocarina of Time style. Tombstone wanted to help so he spent the entire night stalking and catching fairies with his hands and just holding onto them until everyone woke up. The fairy was fine, but it was unhappy
>tombstone had his one good idea when he carried around a treasure chest he found and occasionally uses it to hide other PCs inside for Trojan Horse situations
>a PC was critically injured and him and Tombstone were alone. So he carried him toward the nearest group of people he saw, which was the middle of a battlefield

The game hasn't been going on very long and our new DM hasn't given us a whole lot to do since every session we just arrive in an identical town with no adventures in between, so that's really it.
He's dealt and tanked about 90% of all the party's damage so he's been helpful in fights.

user, i'm no professional drawfriend or anything, but if you tell me what he looks like, i'd love to draw these as stories. Mostly because that's fucking adorable.

My favorite character I ever made was a Wizzard (yes misspelled) that had great magical ability but 0 magical skill, all his spells backfired with varing degrees based on my rolls except if the spell rolled 18, 19 or 20 (back firing spells were my idea to get the dm to give me an extra slot and bonus magic)

His birth name was "I aint that ugly shits father" but went by the name Richard for simplicity.

Only spell he ever ever naturally 20'd on was from a book the dm made up which was a cross between the necronomicon, satans bible and the mad ramblings of an old sage he called the book of "fuck your shit up" I as the parties only high int wizard was tasked with decrypting the book, upon reading a spell the dm asked my to roll to which I had a 20 meaning that with my boosted magic, plus my magic buffs from items and my 20 roll I perfectly cast a spell whose outcome was based on a 6 sided dice.

>1. Nothing much happened
>2. the crypt we were in began to crumble around us.
>3. not 100% but I think it had something to do with lots of gold and bats.
>4. summon an elder god and turn 2/3 of the population into shambling dead.
>5. cause a 1000 year drought in the region that destroyed all food supplies for 50 miles
>6. get buffed to the eyeballs and gain new weapons armor etc

Guess which I happened to roll

yup you guessed it I rolled 4

the outburst of magic disintigrated my characted leaving behind only his shoes, a single sock and his hat.

I'm playing a Half-Orc paladin named Cadeyrn Gottschalk. Believe it or not, not a rape baby - he was born thanks to a diplomatic marriage between the daughter of an Orc chieftain and one of the leading men of a trading city. He joined the city militia, but while in combat found himself constantly fighting the desire to kill even when the enemy surrendered, to revert to Orcish savagery. This, he realized, was the voice of Gruumsh, telling him to kill without reason for the sake of killing.

Deciding that he had to do something about that stupid call of Gruumsh, he decided to counter it by turning to Heironeous, by whose Code he directed his skill at violence. Half-Orcs are prone to strong emotion, and religious zeal is no exception. One day, beside a fallen comrade on the field of battle, he heard the voice of a god again - but this time, it said to heal.

So he did.

Now somewhat experienced as a paladin of Heironeous, Cadeyrn's past as a soldier reveals itself in a somewhat morbid sense of humor, but also in an unwavering obedience to duty. He's blunt and direct in the extreme, which can become outright rudeness at times. He is very honorable and honest, and genuinely eager to do good, even if it's unappreciated. However, he can be quick to judge, especially towards those who choose to reject civilization in favor of what he considers "savagery."

He left his tutor on less than friendly terms, with the latter promising that he would come around "one way or another." Returning home, he found himself no longer caring what the moneyed elite thought of his disfigurement, and invested himself in his factory and some charitable efforts publicly, while studying the occult privately. time passed, and the man was no longer young, but in his middle years, when word came of something strange. One of the families that supplied the cattle for the leather factory, had a son who was seemingly cursed. Metallic objects had a way of launching themselves through walls, trees, rocks, and the odd unfortunate animal or two, and they were looking to get him "treated." Having had pleasant relations with this family before, and curious as to the boy's "affliction" he offered to take on the boy as an apprentice and help him either defeat or at least control this "curse."
The boy, more a young man, turned out to be willing to learn, though he had the attention span of a cat. He and the young man became fast friends, and he taught the young man what he could about iron and leather working, while studying the "curse" "afflicting" the lad.
Turned out that the curse was no such thing. The young fellow was simply another gifted individual, in a sense. Not a wizard, but a Mentalist, a psychic, who affected the world with his mind. Further study revealed that the "accidents" were just the latent powers coming into full: the lad wielded electromagnetism the way the man wielded magic.
With a few years' time and not-inconsiderable effort, they were able to get the young man, Tomah(occasionally referred to as "Jitters" due to his near non-existent attention span), to control his powers fully.

One day, as they walked the capital, they encountered Azur Arbiters harassing a young, blue-haired woman. And the campaign started there.
>One last cont. for good measure.

There was once a character I made when I started out called Simon Riverwood I rolled perfect in all but three stats.

>Wisdom was below average
>Speed was average
>Int 0

Stats like strength and defense = 20 but that int meant that I was basically an unstopable meat tank doing nothing more than soaking up damage and walking through traps, all points I dumped into def, strength and life through his entire run, and ended up retiring him when he settled down with his golem wife after 2 years by which time his name had changed to Simple Simon

You're good people, user.

Here's the WIP portrait of him that my friend never finished. He's like 8 feet tall and built like a tank. He's also been wearing a golden jewel encrusted codpiece a party member bought him, and a big purple cape because tombstone likes to accessorize.

Final bit.
Since then, Dario, now a GMPC, has:
Died by being crushed by a Dragon made of Holy energy
Been resurrected by a Dragon made of Unholy energy
Been dismembered and tortured twice
Managed to regain his former good looks
Learned more than he ever thought possible about the occult.
Been accidentally shot by Tomah twice
Survived decapitation twice
Made enchanted items for his friends, 50% of which have not accidentally boom.
Rode several airships, two of which weren't attacked by fucking dragons.
Fallen for a much, much (~5000years) older woman
Been rebuffed by said older woman
Had a sit-down chat with THREE Unholy Dragons, and befriend one of them
Found out he's got an elf soul.
Discovered that necromancers have too much free time
had an assassin try to kill him at least once a day for the past year
Trounced his tutor's cockstain of a son, and put him to work in an interdimensional bar.
Found out there was an interdimensional bar.
Gotten drunk with two gods in the interdimensional bar
Been ranked on by an Unholy Dragon and Skyla(the blue haird girl) for reasons he wishes they would drop already. He wasn't even in the wrong.
Met the Child Empress
And a lot more. Been a hell of a two year game so far. Looking forward to more fun with my crazy players.

Colm Winters. He's a skeleton wreathed in pale fire who is oathbound to serve as a butler, bodyguard and coach driver to another PC, a young noble who has been cast out into the world (Read: Exiled) by his family and told to make something of himself or never show his face again.

He's loyal to a fault and possessed of a strong sense of justice which he is trying to impart on the young lord, and tends to act as an adviser to his liege. Of secondary importance to him is finding out who he was in life and why he ended up bound in such a fashion, though every step closer to this goal he gets, the more he worries that he won't like what the answer is, and he has considered ceasing the search entirely since he is reasonably satisfied with his unlife as it is. He has a very dry sense of humour, converses in a generally well-spoken monotone, and mostly keeps his feelings to himself, believing that it is a servant's duty to carry his lord's emotional burdens, not add onto them with his own. He attempts to be supportive of his master, but often comes off as overly cold when a gentler approach would be necessary.

He tries to avoid confrontation and won't react to taunts or mockery against himself, and even if attacked he will usually only defend himself. However, should he feel as though his liege's honour has been deeply impinged on, or worse, somebody has actively threatened the young lord, he will swiftly resort to violence until the offender has been neutralised.

In combat, he mostly acts as a damage sponge and enemy magnet, using an MMA-like unarmed combat style, with exaggerated motions that throw fire beyond his reach.

Augustus Vorenus

Lawful Good, Paladin of Tyr

Despite being noble born, he considered himself the equal of the common folk, and sought to be seen as a hero of the people. He was also big on respect, not only for his position, but for anyone, without regard of their lot in life. Needless to say he was a pretty shitty noble, which is why he ended up giving up most of his possessions and taking up the life of a Paladin.

Sadly, his life was cut short when the campaign died after the first session. I should re-use him some time if I can ever get another game going.

Half-Orc Bard with Busker Archetype in a semi-homebrew setting. Former circus "performer"/sideshow attraction (He was a slave for lack of a term) for the nobility until the other performers had enough of their shit and staged a revolt, torching the mansion where their Ringmaster set up shop.

Taking the name of Slegg (and using a knife to administer a rather quick haircut), he made a name for himself in a simple fisherman's port 2 years later as a local strongman. The kids love'em and most of the people don't mind his company, considering he doesn't make a nuisance of himself and only worries about whatever's left at the Inn if the locals haven't cleared our its food stores for the week.

In his third year as a Busker, the village came under attack by a horde of skeletons. He wound up helping similar folk take the fight to the undead. He's wondering what the Gods have planned for him, as the dwarf Paladin has had nothing BUT bad history with orcs, and the two elves (Druid and Rogue) want to know WHY they have to come with...

...On the bright side, warm food and a bed to his own? Sign'em up, he's in.

Augustus Vorenus

Lawful Good, Paladin of Tyr

Despite being noble born, he considered himself the equal of the common folk, and sought to be seen as a hero of the people. He was also big on respect, not only for his position, but for anyone, without regard of their lot in life. Needless to say he was a pretty shitty noble, which is why he ended up giving up most of his possessions and taking up the life of a Paladin.

Sadly, his life was cut short when the campaign died after the first session. I should re-use him some time if I can ever get another game going.

a space hobbit with the moral compass of the dice roll.
we use it as a story tool from time to time,
when said hobbit gets an instruction. we roll the dice.
heres an actual instance
"could you get rid of these children? they are in the way/danger"
we rolled a nat one.
she quickly just shoots the kids.
"No Hobbit! you killed one of them that's bad!"
"i what?" she asks, shooting another two.
in the end the party still progressed, but everybody felt creeped out by the still cheery space midget.

also prone to being highly inappropriate at times.
when someone was in the med bay they asked what she was doing she simply said.
"I am going to Glaze you like a danish."

Sounds absolutely cancerous

People tend not to give two shits about ego filled blog posts so let me give a summary:

>"I got sucker punched in my fucking midget eyeball by an Infectious Space Toad so hard I contracted magic and wound up a Tranny"
Sounds like the title to a fucking Doujin

Basically that's what happened. I'm playing a Halfling Archeologist/Con Artist that ended up finding a Slaadi artifact orb and all it did was open a portal for a fucker to punch me in the eye, knocking me the fuck out and giving me the Slaad Phage. Then the portal immediately vanished and the orb lost all extra-planar properties.

Woke up the next day, saw a cleric and got it healed up. But by then it already took a good hold of the right side of my face and was fucking with my head. Eventually ended up croaking some words when I tried to talk and burnt down the dig-site's medical pavilion.

Ended up figuring out I became a Wild Magic Sorcerer, which is fine and dandy, until the Slaad-like shapeshifter urges set in, not knowing these strange feelings.

So now I found myself coping dressing up as a Barmaid, casting an extended alter self and get fucking shmammered, indulging in chronic alcoholism around men.
Come what may.

High elf AC tank. Eldritch knight archetype. He left home as a very young elf too find out about the world he only read in books (he literally grew up under a mountain, very drow-y but not exactly incredibly evil). He was captured by family enemies and sold into slavery. I'm sure Veeky Forums knows what happens to elves in slavery so we will skip the nasty parts.
He was free'd by a mercenary hired to assassinate his master and the mercenary took him in.
50 years of warfare has turned the young elf boy into a hardened fighter with some heavy psychological problems (rolled for it, his flaw is PTSD from all the conflicts).
At the very moment he is a level 11 fighter with some homebrew equipment.
Standard sword and board fighter with a little bit of magic thrown in.
RP wise he is a happy go lucky guy who's shenanigans are epic, he has nightterrors that destroy him. There are times my gm decides to make me secretly roll wisdom save or subtly panic out.
This too much for you guys or should I go kill myself for my snowflake character?

Excuse me, I was inspired for a second

if I had a group to play with I would run a dual wielding genasi hexblade. A dualist sworn to a djinn distantly related to the elemental who sired her. She fights for fame and to prove herself worthy of the pact.

Or an evil dwarf cannibal monk. The kind to beat things near to death and then eat their heart. May or may not serve some kind of gluttony demon.

if I could play DH or the like I'd also consider the biomancer criminal. Who masquerades as a medic, uses their power to get by and also eats people in order to sustain the shapeshifting that lets it stay ahead of imperial retribution

>imperial cleric
>gets shot in the face twice on first initiative step on the first turn, in first combat, in the first session
>managed to throw a fire bomb at the same time
>thus began her tradition to for doing and taking the most damage in the group
>then she got hit by her own grenade
>suicide bombed a witch coven and survived
>encountered orphaned girl in a mine at abandonden slave camp
>girl runs further into the mine
>don't bring the girl partially out of lack of time to chase her through a labyrinthine mine
>what we're about to go do isn't for kids anyway
>got mauled by a daemonette summoned by said witch coven
>gets righteous fury two turns in a row somehow and asplodes the daemonettes head in single combat with trusty hammer
>fullscale chaos planet fall and planet is exterminatussed
>regrets not bringing the girl
>investigating an adeptus biologis station that has gone silent
>gets covered in gretchin
>gets shot by cultists
>gets mauled by a genestealer
>gets mauled by an ork nob
>gets sandwiched between nob and genestealer
>somehow get nob to kill genestealer instead
>after genestealer dies gets a good hit on the nob dealing shot loads of damage and put the nob 1 wound from death
>get pinned by nob and gets skull crushed
>cybernetic resurrection
>proceeds to hammer/chainsword/chain axe the beefiest fuckers to death and usually just one hit from going into critical damage

youtube.com/watch?v=O_AkU8wJ1ZA

Current character is for Numenera.
Decker Varlulv is a mostly amoral mercenary who is in between contracts right now. Somewhere along the way, He decided that using weapons and wearing armor isn't as much fun when stalking a target, so he doesn't use them. He is terrible at hiding his emotions. If he thinks something is funny, he laughs. If something makes him mad, he punches it. as you can imagine, this makes him terrible at doing anything remotely social. What makes this character adventurer material is the Wrath spirit that takes over his body on occasion. when this happens, he goes full RIP AND TEAR on whatever happens to be close to him. Lately, he has been able to force his will over manifesting it, but he still has no control over it. Our caster has a shiny new arm because she got too close to the wrath spirit one one occasion. At the end of the last session, He lost all his equipment and ended up leading the majority of the town in a Benny Hill chase scene. Hell, he doesn't have pants anymore, or the macguffin sword we got early in the game.

Pic related, it's what the Wrath Spirit looks like.

he's a Rugged Glaive who Howls at the Moon, for anyone who has actually played the Cypher/Numenera system

I want to play a Warforged, but I don't have a group, and recently moved. Is there a good way to meet people interested in gaming?

First character of mine is a petite little gothic punk girl who got involved with occult stuff as a way of saying "Fuck you mom!" after her father died, now she's in her early 20's is working a dead end job, got contacted by a shady corporation who makes her go on missions to retrieve nerve gas from criminals and then she finds the not!-necronomicon

My other character is a tiny little lawful good paladin girl, who's young, naive and far from patient, she has a habit of getting frustrated and flipping the table as it were when things get in gear.

I've wanted to play 'dude fused with elemental' for a while. I think it's a fun idea.

10/10 story

Please tell me his name has at least three Ks in it.

Pity about the mask; he seems like the sort of character who'd smoke fine cigars any time he felt he could relax.

Hope she gets a happy ending. I always dig the wandering knight archetype and dame-knights

I feel like your time might be better spent trying to find a group you get along with more.

If there is, I've never seen it.

Sounds fun to play.

Literally Catholic? That'd bother me just a little, having something so normal in a fantastic world. Great story to read, though. If only we could all have campaigns so fulfilling. And sure, I'll work on getting something typed up after this post.

Do you have the speech he was supposed to give written down anywhere?

Things not going as planned is part of the fun of RPGs.

What system do you use? Working together to pilot a mech is kind of unusual.

RIP Rincewind. That setup seems a little unlucky, though; I'd have thrown in more obviously positive stuff to the spell result roll. Where did the campaign go from there?

That's a pretty well-put-together backstory. Little suboptimal mechanically for DnD, but that's only an issue if the GM makes it one.

I'm picturing that guy from The Princess Bride. Been forever since I've seen it, can't remember his name.

Skeleton butler. I love it. But then, I'm the kind of guy who usually portrays necromancers as neutral instead of evil...

Seems like the pretty chill sort to me. ...I was about to ask if he had a curly mustache, when I realized that I've never seen an orc (half or otherwise) with facial hair. Weird.

I hope you do.

Kind of dumb IMO, but if the group's okay with it, it's fine.

It's spelled Seamus. Goddamn americans

A character I'd hesitate to play in most groups, but certainly an interesting one. Also,
>incase

People who whine about snowflakes aren't worth worrying about unless they're in your playgroup.

Have you tried looking for a group online?

I'm amazed that she took so long to not-die.

Getting new pants should probably be a pretty high priority.

Local, try a posting at your FLGS. Online, check out the game finder thread here on Veeky Forums.

That paladin is gonna meet with a dread fate if she doesn't rein in her temper a little. Or your group could be like mine and the sessions wind up 20% actual adventuring and 80% slice-of-life shenanigans.

Should I share my Dawn Caste or my mildly magical-realmy kitsune sorceress? I've got a Rogue Trader, too, but that game's still young and she's not well-developed beyond "loves fashion, has a stupidly long name as a joke".

Malkavian dentist, amazing at fixing teeth, only works at night, and very active in the vampiric political scene. Only one left from a game that started in the Dark Ages originally, may or may not have diablerizing a former friend or two.
The game is less about being the dinky little vampire mucking about and being in control of the city.

My paladin tries her best to be calm, she's been able to keep it mostly in check. Of course during fights it goes right out the window and she ends up throwing people around like ragdolls.

I had to retire this character recently, but he was a complete blast. One of the most complicated and interesting characters I've ever had the fortune to play.

Vampire the Requiem 2E. A Gangrel ex-Bruja-gang Carthian Movement member who styles himself an 80s action hero, regularly delivering one liners in that hardboiled gravel voice Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis et. al have made popular. Wears his aviator shades at night. He ditched the gang due to a moral crisis - he'd stuck with it a couple of years because he was swept up in the supernatural adrenaline rush of sating your beast in an invincible murder group, but he started to see all of the blood on his hands and it gave him cold feet.

Ultimately he hooked up with the Movement in order to give himself a purpose, and the extreme ideologies present there appealed to his sense of rebelliousness and dissatisfaction with authority. While there, during play, he met a dual-covenant Lance/Carthian straight out of the French Revolution that gave him a devout faith in the Testament of Longinus and helped set him on the path to engineering vampiric social upheaval. After a solid year of nonstop intrigue and politicking, they and their allies managed to overthrow what they saw as the corrupt Invictus establishment and install a Carthian Experiment based on supposedly democratic ideals.

But it was not to last. This character's smugness, his supreme confidence in his own abilities and his singular belief in his own self-righteousness (you could call it a pathology that he NEEDED to have the moral high ground), led to his downfall. He had subjugated or otherwise left the local Gangrel clan to its own devices, never fully dealing with the facts that they had all become Invictus pawns or card carrying members. In one night, and with the help of an incredibly powerful sorcerer, they ambushed him as a complete group. He went down swinging.

So he was born after his noble father from a washed-up, good-for-nothing house traveled the realm killing dudes and finally got around to knocking up this elf merchant's daughter. Daddy takes off (presumably to kill more dudes and knock up more chicks) and Player McCharacter gets raised by elf mother and shady elf merchant grandfather. Player McCharacter falls for QT Von Princess of the Elven House Too-Good-For-You when he gets older, and that shit gets shut down so hard he gets politely but firmly kicked out of the realm.
Thanks to the connections of his shady elf merchant grandfather, Player McCharacter gets raised up to manhood by those wacky Bane-worshipping Zhentarim Superfascists in exile.
Now he's a big guy.

How's playing a monk in Fathpinder gone?

Sometimes dragons gotta die. Even dragons know that. Maybe PARENT taught her about abusive, dickhead monster tyrants and she's just doing the right thing.

I thought about it once, but I picked PALADIN instead.

What sort of dangers does he face?

Could be worse. Why no Book of Nine Swords, though?

Ayn Rand robot lady with a big dick

>I'm going to start changing the flyers to show the big scary Orc next to the rogue, and then at some point have the Orc be in the same caption as the Orc, to get people normalized to the idea of them being together. I'm also going to start changing my little erotic fictions I'm selling to nobles to include Orc/human scenes.

>"The Juice did this."

This is dope

Was is chosen from the bucket?