Kicked a frog

My most evil character was basically a shoujo anime bully in an OVA campaign. She was the only character without powers in the party, but her CEO daddy made sure she had guards, money, etc. The campaign ended with her talking a demonic warlord into suicide and her seizing his empire. But yeah, MOST things she did were mundane.

I guess if I have to pick one.. I dunno..... taking the rest of the party out to eat?

If you mean evil thing, then... putting 50 crickets in somebody's locker.

Least evil: "Adopted" an orphan
Most Mundane: Bought a round of drinks at a tavern

My ex-psion current-wizard made a three-weeks-old goddess of knowledge cry by laughing in her face really hard when she failed to know what sarcasm was after he made a sarcastic remark.

My eighty year old war veteran rogue beheaded a rebel in front of the princess. The rebel was fighting for the freedom of slaves and the oppressed nonhumans of the country, the rulers were tyrants.

My fighter/bard gestalt routinely shapeshifts into the husband of hot wives, and fucks them.

My undying light warlock helped pull off a prank that ended up in an entire lake turning into jello via magic shenanigans. Which in turn attracted hordes of fairies that plagued the area.

Actually EVIL: Filled a guys backpack with maggots for shits & giggles

>filled a guys backpack with maggots for shits & giggles
>putting 50 crickets in somebody's locker.

These two are on the same wavelength.

Stole a dude's wallet, stuffed a fake ID behind his license, then dropped it off a the police station.
I don't actually remember what I'd used that ID for, but according to the GM the dude ended up getting five weeks of personal attention from homeland security, so it was probably one of the organ smuggling ones.

Also I took five bucks out.

Made cake.
one of the wet ingredients was blood from a sapient race.

Smashing a metal bar down on a bed to bounce my hamster around when I accidentally hit him with it and crushed his skull because 10 year olds are uncoordinated.

It was super sad, actually. Genuinely didn't mean to do it, I was just a retard.

This is the perfect balance of mundane and evil.

Shoved a child inside a locker and then locked it.

Poured out the fighter's glass of wine after the two of them had a little spat. He was petty.

So what you're saying is you're a regular chinese person.

>Not shoving a child inside a locker, locking it, then kicking it off a cliff.

I mean to be fair, it was inside a ship.
And I left the ship afterwards, it was stolen.
We don't actually know if they recovered it, or even if it sunk or not.
We kind of just left it floating there.

So you put him in Davey John's gym locker?

yep.

>didn't tip the waitress

Wizard pranked him for flicking his forehead mid-spell by making his lemon tart uber sour with prestidigitation. He ate the entire thing and declined when the wizard offered his clean one in good faith saying "it's only fair I eat mine and you eat yours".
Either that or the time he got the rest of the males in his group sent to the mines while he got ambassador treatment with the ladies of the group completely by accident and didn't bother to rectify the mistake.
Or the time he stole a cult's hellhounds as his own pets for snuggles, fighter hated that.
Possibly the time he took an unattended piece of chicken off from the kitchen counter because he just got home, no one was there, and he was hungry.
Maybe the time he told the vampire lord that showed up out of nowhere to threaten the group that he was earlier than expected and he wasn't in the fucking mood.
Perchance the time he threatened the fighter with a rope and manic grin for him to get into the tent while he himself sleeps outside.
Rather, the time he turned into a dragon to roll around in his giant pile of money.
Might have been the time he told an NPC waitress the fighter was/is dating not to lose the present he bought her right in front of the guy.

I'm honestly not sure, so many to choose from and I don't know what qualifies.

>Maybe the time he told the vampire lord that showed up out of nowhere to threaten the group that he was earlier than expected and he wasn't in the fucking mood.
Casually badass.

Overall your character sounds like a petty dick, but an amazing guy to have in the party

If only we could have more of these Ass-amancers. The world would surely be a better (worse) place.

My LE Diabolist (Paladin); Dm was a cool guy let me worship Malebranche as a Antipaladin, cleaned up the streets of the overpopulated city by going to the most frequented tavern and stopped the 'Spice' trade.

Telling them it polluted their minds and made them weak and cowards. Pretty general Paladin-esque shite otherwise.

frogs have no feelings, so kicking them is pretty much a neutral thing to do

>frogs have no feelings

Glad you think so. Really though, he's generally way nicer, I had to cherry pick those instances from three settings and over a year of playing. He's even demanded the ruling goddess hug him because he had a sneaking and accurate suspicion that the subjects revered her a bit too much to show her comfort and appreciation past bowing and referring to her by title all the time, he's that level of "caring". Was a pretty feelgood scene, and now he gets the half-privilege some of her worshipers don't like it but she wouldn't be mad about it anyway of speaking to her without formalities. Even the party considers him practically harmless before they get put in the odd situation where they're reminded that "Oh yeah, this guy was raised on murdering woodland critters for food."
Still the goofiest of balls in the end, hitting more crit fails than any other party member and managing to survive hopeless outnumbering just by saying parley. Some think he's some kind of chessmaster faking the "won't lie nice guy" deal. He isn't, but he definitely puts effort into not being a jerk at times. People don't like cooperating with jerks for long. But I can't deny he's plenty spiteful when he wants to be.

Have you never seen a Frenchman? The only feeling they know is mild disgust.

Take that back!

Once when he had successfully stormed a city, he had the survivors stripped of weapons and cook for his troops (while under the watchful eye of his men, of course) and then let them leave unharmed and unarmed. Without paying them.

Are we talking Large-Scale Evil or personal scale?

>Large scale
Well, he was the medic of the group, so not a whole lot of petty evil to be had here. There was this one time where he got drunk and stole the undergarments from the nearby townsfolk's houses and "redecorated" the scarecrow/shrine in town.

>Small Scale
This character is mostly an unrepentant dick, also a were-deathclaw, but that isn't important right now. I guess the pettiest thing this character has done is not pay for a bar tab.

I found out that one of the guards at the gate had a birthday that day. So I put on my party-hat, which was a bright red bicorne with a big blue feather in it, and I asked him if he was the special birthday boy. He said yes, and asked if I was part of some sort of surprise since none of his coworkers had said anything to him yet. I pulled out a leather bag and told him to look inside for his special birthday present. All he found was pic related.

That's fucking spooky.
One of my party-mates did the exact same thing, only instead of a guard it was a local mob boss we'd been hired to "deal with," and instead of a regular bag and a picture of the bird it was a bag of holding containing a six-armed troll we nicknamed "Sir Punchinface."

>Living in a country where you need to tip

made a halfling fear for his safety with an inspirational speech

Sold Kids ice cream with nails in it.

Dude.
The fuck.

They probably had it coming

Nails? that'd hardly be effective, they would just lick it and maybe find an edge but then otherwise be made aware of the issue. Should have gone with caltrops, razor blades, fish hooks, or thumbtacks. Personally I would suggest the fish hooks.

>All he found was pic related.
Not your fist? After all, your fist is the gift that keeps on giving.

No no its perfect. Its not so annoying that they would ever get around to changing it, but just so annoying that its always at the back end of your mind!

>>Not shoving a clown inside a locker, welding it shut and pushing it out into space.

eck

Was close friends with a lawful good fighter.

Just friends. They talked, debated philosophy, discussed matters of finances, and worked together.

The things she did when he was not looking she did to protect him and her other neutral good friend from the people of the city (most of whom were corrupt and evil as all get out) were horrific, final, and utterly pragmatic in the most lawful evil of ways.

So her most mundane thing was having a friend to talk to.

What if it is a very well disguised thin custard?

Used Mage Hands to crush fruits and vegetables at a market place because one of the merchants refused to sell his family heirloom to me. The heirloom in question was the guys granddad.

>offered to pay for the party's meal at the tavern
>only tipped 5% of the tab

>tipped 5%

>Tabern owner uses a tip-based salary for his wrenches
Detect evil, smite evil.

Tried to adopt a couple orphans and then gave them to an orphanage because the rest of the party was drawing up training regiments to turn them into cohorts and thieves

thin custard is an evil in itself

Created a housing project for Kender next to the merchant square. So indirectly evil due to rising "crime", "o you dropped this" and “I found that a couple miles back, I bet you are really glad that I saw it and picked it up for you.”

or egg yolk

You need real all-butter shortbread biscuits.

They good on they own mang.

I've got this really evil Dhampir wizard which I'm actually playing. She is filthy rich and have a manor with curtains made of human flesh and furnitures made of people and such. The party is persuaded she is "breeding" humans to have a good blood taste when she really is adopting orphans because she's really lonely and misses her family.

Completely restored and stopped the gentrification of a ghetto housing block. Gave the youth access to entrepreneurial pursuits and greater ease of education. Started multiple market gardens which each apartment complex bought into as a business investment to sell the produce at inflated prices to the new and "hip" parts of the city. Used terror tactics to run drug distributors out, then started a community-run and partially government funded rehab center for the local addicts. I even talked to local doctors about limiting their prescriptions of commonly abused pain medications and cut legal substance abuse deaths by 70%.

Overall this one block was the shot in the arm the city needed, as crime was massively reduced, and even felt in surrounding areas. Celebrities and entrepreneurs began to see it as a humanitarian project, eventually transforming it over 10 years.

While taking my children to see a play in the trendy entertainment district, I was called "Old fuck" by a youth, who had just been explaining that my organic store was the only place he could afford to buy natural ingredients for his small baking business.

I adjusted all prices in the store 18% and used the extra revenue to anonymously fund his direct competition, allowing them to keep prices stable, while his running costs became unsustainable. With 90 of his customers with orders unfulfilled, he was forced to abandon the foodie and art scene, moving back in with his parents in a small town where everyone still whispers "Fuken queer" behind his back, just loud enough for him to hear.

[Muffled HONK]

Off by one

>>My ex-psion current-wizard made a three-weeks-old goddess of knowledge cry by laughing in her face really hard when she failed to know what sarcasm was after he made a sarcastic remark.
I don't know why that's so funny to me

Paid for the lunch, complimented the cook, and left.

I had a character who would break into inns and open up all the doors, then just leave

He'd steal pillows from inns he stayed at. Or just get rid of the feathers and stuff them with something shitty like rocks or twigs. He was a cunt.

That's not evil, that's justice.

During a campaign, our party ran into some legal trouble in their hometown, conveniently after I'd recently lost my character. So I rolled up an evil bard.

He was their lawyer.

>5% tip
Why did you even tip

Not that guy, but my character uses the archaic use of tipping when he's the one paying, which is to say bribery to encourage good service, even if the rest of the party tries to "educate" him on how you're supposed to tip these days. Being le rich adventurer, it's common for him to tip what amounts to 200% of what the bill will be, because those thousands of gold coins aren't going to spend themselves, and if push comes to shove he can just hunt for food and sell the excess prey or give it away for free, got some damn good barbecue out of it the last time he did that. Needless to say, the waiting staffs love it and his girlfriend provides many a protective/jealous look to the ones that show signs of being smitten.

Not that guy either, but I will admit to overpaying for shit in games where my character has ended up with a huge stash of coinage, especially if the shit in question is either ridiculously minor or a blatant attempt to make people stop asking questions.

There's just something wonderful about watching an NPC's reaction to having twenty platinums dropped in their lap because, actually, I CAN park my Gnomish Tinker Boat here, thankyou.

>It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock, and I shall need to know your name.
>What do you say to three shillings, and we forget the name?
>...Welcome to Port Royal Mr. Smith.

That would be stealing a kids cat and putting it on a tree so I could take it back down and get the kids money for the "rescue"

My evil druid pissed on a guy's leg in wolf form once.

>That led to a battle which I lost, which led to me burning his house down and murdering his lover.

lel