A Djin appears and offers you 3 wishes but each has a caveat

My standard first Gjin with would always be the same.
"I wish for you to grant my wishes in such a manner as I indent for them to be granted, with no purposeful or 'accidental' misinterpretations of aforementioned wishes."
This would be my first wish in just about any scenario where I get multiple wishes. I've read enough mythology for it to be foolish otherwise.

>If you wish for women they will come and they will destroy you.
???

Wish one: "I wish for you to be reasonable and friendly in granting my next two wishes."

If he still screws me over on that, he was going to screw me anyway and the wishes were a trap from the start.

>indent
You already fucked up.

>in such a manner as I indent for them to be granted

Your formatting from here on is impeccable. Odd wish.

"They're my rules and I'm free to break them.

When you have cosmic powers to alter reality YOU can break your own rules as well. What's that you wish for cosmic powers to alter reality? HA HA FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry were you under the impression I was some beta fucker who'd let a little bitch mortal weasle his way into my territory? You hate this game, quit playing and go back to dirt farming for your apathetic lord like the worm you are."

First wish

I wish for you to be free

I ask for no other wishes.

I first wish for something irrelevant like socks or magic cards for my first wish because its worded to always be negative
Then what I wish for the second wish is irrelevant so I wish for something nice to have like a slightly bigger dick
Then for my third wish I wish for an empty universe where I am omnipotent and that I can enter mentally at will, and where time only flows while I am present but when I am it flows infinitely fast, so I always return where I left off, and I dont care if my nemesis has this power

>wanting to let your nemesis into your personal slice of creation

Have fun watching everything get fucked up.

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If my first two wishes are the same, do they cancel each other out? or will I just get too much gold, and then on top of that too much gold, I also get a tiny additional amount.

1. I wish for the djinn to imagine a world without the word "love"

2. I wish for immortality for those 5 minutes

3. I wish to be shot in the head

The perfect crime

Alright. My half-wish will be a for a scrumptious sandwich with a good helping of bacon.
*munch* *munch*
Eh. It was kind of bland.
As for my final wish: I wish for you to permanently and completely erase your own existence.

Not his creation, his nemesis gets his own separate creation.

I would say that being omnipotent means you can barge into another god's universe if you want to, but if they're both omnipotent, what the fuck happens then?

BBQ beef brisket sandwich all three times.

>your nemesis is the djin
>he erases you simultaneously

I don't hate him, so that doesn't work.

1. I wish for your kin to have good fortune.

2. I wish to be the most powerful god in all creation.

3. I wish for the respect of the masses.

Alright you rule-lawyering Djinn cunt, I have 3 wishes, yeah? And the third option goes off without a hitch?
I'm taking that third one first.
You only said I was offered 3 wishes, not that I must take them in order.
Anyway, I'll take some crisps or something. Dunno.

In becoming free he enslaves all intelligent life in the plane, only so he can be the most free

>implying you get to choose your nemesis in life
>implying it wasn't destiny

>But what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate
No mention of a nemesis.
And I don't hate the Djinn, so he doesn't get the wish.

My infinity would be contained within or separate from the other infinities.

>But what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate, so you must share your glories with them.

He gets exactly what you get. You share it.

Wish 1. I wish you to be happy
Wish 2. I wish for other people to have a good day today
Wish 3. Immortality

Inb4 hurr durr the genie kills you to make him happy, everyone else has a good day watching you die, whatever. Literally any answer to 1 and 2 can be construed as lethal in some fashion, but to get a third wish you need to say something
Literally anyt

Omnipotence means you can cross multiple infinities no problemo.

What If all 3 wishes are for the same thing?
Does it balance out?
Or, hell, just the first two?

I wish for happiness, melancholy and immortality.

Do I win?

Alright then I won't wish for anything. I don't need a bunch of genie bullshit. Fuck him, he's losing prestige because of his Arbitrary trait.

Correct, he gets his own distinct universe, because that's what user wished for. His own universe, and so his enemy also gets his own (distinct) universe.

It's not "you have to share a pair of shoes" it's "you both get your own nike airs"

I kill the djinn.

Monkey's paw the devil's dick in hell, cosmic camel jockey.

Two beings can't both be omnipotent, that'd mean one of them lacked power in some respect over another and therefore not be omnipotence

It's some "can god make a rock so heavy he can't lift it" bullshit

If you and the other guy both are all powerful, then you would need to have power over one another, but if someone is able to have power over you then you're not really omnipotent

I'd say the wish fizzles because it would create a paradox, ask for something else instead

Almost too impeccable.

"What you wish for will be granted to someone you hate" means they get what you get. Full stop. They are granted what you get, they don't get a copy of what you get, they get what you get. If you wished for immortality you and them would share that immortality meaning if one gets wished away then the other gets wished away as well.

It's a dickass genie, if you think he stops at "lol he gets one just like it" you're a fucking moron.

> nemesis-wish
I wish I was a incredibly short, fat and well-hung little man capable of turning invisible/intangible, flying and with the ability to grant wishes, but only in a twisted manner
Then I would appear in front of mean, beautiful women and tell them that I would grant their wishes if they let me fuck them up the ass

So like, you get one that's so big you'll never finish it before it goes stale, one that's just a pussy ass slide, and one that's just right, but someone you hate also gets a sandwich that's just right. The djinn would get pissed but you beat him so perfectly he just conjures a sandwich and eats it as well. Happy birthday.

So you can't wish for omnipotence.

OR

Two beings can both be omnipotent as long as both mutually agree to not interact with each other. Omnipotence doesn't mean you HAVE to pursue everything all the time. However, one omnipotent being can make it so the other omnipotent being is no longer omnipotent (as long as he isn't also omniscient, which is a possibility) and the other being can't cancel it, because he is no longer omnipotent.

I wish for less wishes.

Are just trying to create more magical Danny Devitos?

The absolute madman!

No, they get a copy of what you get. Full stop.

You are the fucking moron.

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That isn't what "share" means, you illiterate twat.

>Wish for gold and get a massive pile
>the value of gold is only made worthless if I flood it into the market like a retard

What's the downside?

Nah, some conceptions of omnipotence doesnt grant power over fundamental laws like 1+1=2. My universe would be a separate reality, it would be an everything, and I would have power over everything.
but who cares about wordplay you know what I meant

>ITT: OP thinks he's really clever by strawmanning wishes to be negative in ways that doesn't make sense

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What's shared is the glory.
>what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate
Granted onto someone you hate.
If I wish for my own pocket universe, a pocket universe will be granted to someone I hate.

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I wish for the djinni to let me fuck him in the ass

They call this position the "monjey's paw" you cocksucker

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Nasa satellites will spot your golden mountain and call the feds on you who quietly pocket a small part of it and then bury the rest as nuclear waste in yucatan mountain so they dont destroy the world economy, and you along with it

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I wish I was omnipotent, my first and only wish.

>ITT: OP quickly realizes he isn't as smart as he thought and proceeds to embarrass himself.
OP was a faggot once again.

Wish 1: wish the genie was female
Wish 2: wish for a magic dick
Wish 3: wish to run a train on the genie

Bards solve everything

Where did the concept of genies fucking with wishes even come from? I thought the wish thing was a gift in exchange for freeing them from their lamp. When did they become cunts?

While the decision of what wishes cost how many points is a bit arbitrary, I like this concept of wishing.

He grants you too much anal and is unable to coherently grant any more wishes.

Uneducated guess: It was probably a lesson warning against greed, I'll bet that in ye olde stories the genies only fucked with the greedy cunts' wishes

implying your tiny magic dick would be able to handle it

Good yarn.

Braindead fucking monkeys shouldn't be tossing insults. Every 4 year old not on the spectrum is automatically able to comprehend that "you both get a snickers" means "you both get your own snickers".

Sharing was only in relation to an intangible concept, but even then yours is still just one interpretation. An equally possible interpretation is that you both get equal glories. "glory" is just a state someone occupies. Two conquerors of different lands both "share" the glory of being conquerors.

Of course it's arbitrary, the devil is calculating it so they run out of points and get forced into wishing for what the devil actually wants.

It's only barely magical.

"Too much anal" get the fuck back here genie I'm not done with you yet

Not that it matters much, all I'm gonna wish for later is more anal.

You brought this on yourself, shoulda stayed in that lamp motherfucker

Some conceptions of omnipotence are bullshit.

See the second the genie does that, the wisher wins conceptually, he has demonstrated he is never going to honour a wish and can therefore be ignored.

>First
Knowledge - Too much knowledge will be a burden, but I'll acclimate and be able to use it eventually.

>Second
I wish that I can forgive those who have wronged me in the past. It'll be too little, but I've been having trouble with that so any is better than none.

>Third
Wealth - My enemy may have it too, but that's irrelevant to my plan, and I can always kill them.

Going to develop GitS Cyberization and put myself in an immortal body. Post-Humanism for the win.

No, some were just dickheads. One was locked up so long he decided to allow the guy who freed him to choose how he was going to die, fuck your wishes.

They pretty much gave you whatever you wanted unless you asked for certain things, often just being "all the wishes you want, massah!"

Thing is they vary as much as people do, and that can be bad, but generally they seem okay.

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All pop conceptions of omnipotence is bullshit
In christianity God isnt just some bearded dude who gets everything his way
"Being granted" omnipotence is really a dumb concept

Omnipotence is not omnipresence.

Wish 1. The Djin to be in eternal twisting agony to the point even the gods will cringe at the thought of it.

Wish two. A little less pain for the Djin.

Wish three. A life as pleasant as the Djin's life is now awful.

I don't actively hate anyone, it's a waste of time.

>I wish for a long life

It sure sounds like you actively hate the Djin.

"Knowing" is a function of power, where power=capability

Therefor an omnipowerful being also has the capability of omniscience or omnipresence if he so chooses.

Trying too hard.

1. Immortality
2. Knowledge of magic
3. The mindset necessary to remain recognizably myself regardless of the rigors of immortality
Honestly two is a throw away. The real trick is to use one to set something up and then use three to negate the downsides of one. If you're feeling really spiteful you can do something like wishing for money with one, and then wish for the vast majority your wealth to disappear with three. Meaning your supposed rival is now penniless or in crippling debt while you're sitting on top of a reasonably huge money pile.

If he so chooses.

>Genie is going to be pounded too much from first wish
>Then a little bit by second
>Then just right by both you and your nemesis

I hate how humanity has turned immortality into a defeat condition. It's like the ultimate case of Sour Grapes.

>'Yeah, but what if you get trapped in a mine!'
I'll survive

>'What if you get lost in space!'
I'll survive

>'What if you get captured and tortured for decades!'
I'll survive

Surviving is the only thing that's important. We can't know what happens after death, whether it is simply the cessation of all consciousness, eternal torment in a pit of fire, or any nebulous concept like 'peace'. Why should I take that gamble unless I am absolutely forced to do so?

Live as long as you can! Death is never better than the alternative!

Well maybe the Djin should have thought about his wish rules before foisting them onto people.

The implication is you live past heat death.

Nah, I just have to set up the last wish correctly. I'm sure some idiot down the road will "free" him of his pain. Sentiment is wasted on immortal wish despencers with shitty attitudes.